Wedding question

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lucky_Scrunchy
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

Lucky_Scrunchy

Guest
A relative on my husband’s side is getting married. My husband is this woman’s Godfather. This young lady has come out against the church, and has verbally attacked me via Facebook re: my catholic beliefs. She is now getting married outside the church and is not even having a religious ceremony. By the way, she is a baptized Catholic.

My husband is torn on going. We don’t know if we should go or not.
 
No…from a catholic stand point this one is a no-brainer.

It’s a non-religious ceromoney. Her being a catholic, she’s making this marriage invalid right from the get-go and therefore there is nothing to celebrate. If your husband is the godfather…even more of a reason not to go. Maybe send a religous “gift” describing what marriage is about.
 
Lucky_Scrunchy said:
A relative on my husband’s side is getting married. My husband is this woman’s Godfather. This young lady has come out against the church, and has verbally attacked me via Facebook re: my catholic beliefs. She is now getting married outside the church and is not even having a religious ceremony. By the way, she is a baptized Catholic.

My husband is torn on going. We don’t know if we should go or not.
Click to expand...
No. It may be looked at as scandalous for a known Catholic to be seen participating or attending a non-sacramental wedding. By being there other guests who may know that your husband is Catholic may look at his attendance and come to the conclusion that Catholics accept and approve of civil marriages and see them as equal to a marriage within the Church. This, of course, is not the truth and the primary reason why Catholics should avoid attending non-sacramental weddings.
 
In general the answer would be “no” but I don’t think it is as categorical as some other posters have said. In certain circumstances, you can go to support that they are making some kind of commitment, plus sometimes a greater scandal can come from absence. This case presents special difficulties since she is anti-Catholic not just indifferent which is a more common case.
 
Contra_Mundum said:
I wouldn’t go under these circumstances.
Click to expand...
This.

If a person is just downright rude and insulting to me…and my mere existence is the only reason why she attacks me (as in I’ve done nothing wrong to warrant these attacks) then I’d have zero problem skipping out on a wedding of such a rude person.

If this person is kind, friendly and respectful to me and seems misunderstood of their Catholicism…then it might be a difficult decision to make.

But she’s made her feelings perfectly plain and obvious. I’d never give attention to that kind of behavior and I hope your husband understands this.

You can show charity by adding them to your prayers for conversion and blessings…but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to attend a wedding of someone who has publicly insulted you.
 
send a nice gift and your regrets that you are unavailable to attend.
 
This is tricky. It can and will split your family apart. How close are you to these people? Generations of cousins will not know each other etc. Non Catholics will not understand and be very offeneded.

Jesus calls us to love the sinner and hate the sin.

Obviously they won’t be considered married. If you attend the reception only you are just going to a party. I would not attend the ceremony. By your behavior, you can show that Catholics are loving If you keep a relationship with them, then someday they may have a change of heart and have a sacramental marriage.

A strong sense of humility is needed her I am praying for you.
 
Thank you for all the (name removed by moderator)ut…one think I forgot to mention is that although she was very offensive she and I did kind of put it behind us. She and I are not close, she is a relative by marriage only. I am a FB friend to her (that is where she became very aggressive on her anti-catholic tyrate).

I posted some positive things on her FB page because I didn’t want to hav any bad blood between us. So in the present she and I are civil. But I know her hatred of Catholicism is still there.
 
Talk to your priest. A lot of people on here will tell you that a Catholic should never attend an invalid wedding. This has not been my personal experience. My fiance was baptized Catholic and raised in a very devout home. We are having a secular wedding outside of the church. His immediate family met with their priest, several members of his extended family met with theirs, and one of his groomsmen met with his, and all were told to attend and wish us well. (That’s 3 different priests.) Yes, even his Catholic groomsman got permission to be in the wedding. If instead of listening to their clergy they took to the internet and got advice here, my FH’s family would be ripped apart right now.

If you guys are on civil terms and you think that it would cause damage for your husband to not attend then you should speak with your priest to see what he has to say. However, if you would not want to attend her wedding anyway, even if it was Catholic, then don’t.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Talk to your priest. A lot of people on here will tell you that a Catholic should never attend an invalid wedding. This has not been my personal experience. My fiance was baptized Catholic and raised in a very devout home. We are having a secular wedding outside of the church. His immediate family met with their priest, several members of his extended family met with theirs, and one of his groomsmen met with his, and all were told to attend and wish us well. (That’s 3 different priests.) Yes, even his Catholic groomsman got permission to be in the wedding. If instead of listening to their clergy they took to the internet and got advice here, my FH’s family would be ripped apart right now.

If you guys are on civil terms and you think that it would cause damage for your husband to not attend then you should speak with your priest to see what he has to say. However, if you would not want to attend her wedding anyway, even if it was Catholic, then don’t.
Click to expand...
I would think it is a great idea for the godfather to talk to his own pastor about how to handle the situation of the wedding of a goddaughter who has defected from the Church…as this one certainly seems to have done, and in vitriolic terms, at that. It is a pastoral situation, and probably one that needs both more pastoral experience than any of us can offer and a more intimate knowledge of the details than what the OP can offer.

What if the wedding were to be technically valid? Do you go to the weddings of nasty relatives? If they actually invite you and there is not something else in the way and it is not your intention to cut off all relations for the rest of your natural lives, then yes, you generally go. A wedding invitation is a bid for peace, and you have to really have your back to the wall to refuse it. Unnecessary refusal of a wedding invitation is an extreme way to make a point about your current negative sentiments towards the bridal couple. For many brides (and I don’t think I’m going out on a limb to guess this is one of them), such a refusal by a relative is the “nuclear option” of hurtful insults concerning the marriage. If there is a chance that answering with regrets will be taken that way, think twice. That’s not to say you must go, OP, but if you stay home, be aware that this would be one of those Queen of All Statements You Cannot Take Back kind of statements.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top