Wedding Question!

[emmyruth]

Hello!

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly five years. We will be getting engaged this March. It would be sooner (in fact, would have already happened), but he is in the military and has training that prevents him from coming to our home town until then. We want to get married in July. He is deploying in the fall, I am graduating in May (and will be getting a teaching job where he is stationed in August), and he has pre-deployment training in June that gives him leave time at the end of July. We want to have a few months together as newlyweds before he goes overseas.

I am a convert to the Church, and I do not know how to go about contacting the parish about this. Even though we are not officially engaged yet, we want to book the date, especially because the engagement will be very short (if I book it now, it’s five months instead of four!). I converted in college (two years ago) and became a member at the parish near my parents’ home over the past summer…mostly because I asked for money for a missions trip! My parish is the same one my boyfriend grew up in, so even though they really don’t know me (or him that well…he’s been gone for a while), we do want to get married there. We have heard this parish is very particular, and my concern is that because they don’t know us (and know that we are both committed to God and the teachings of the church), they will not marry us within this short time period!

I guess I am looking for some advice about how to contact the parish and how to go about explaining our situation. And some prayers that they will work with us would be appreciated!

 

[Oneofthewomen]

My best advice, call the parish tomorrow and ask to speak with a priest, as only he can answer your questions correctly.

In my diocese, most parishes require at least 6 months preperation before marriage, and that is mostly due to getting the appropriate paperwork in order and for pre-Cana classes, meetings with the priest, etc.

Good luck & peace be with you on your journey!

 

[adrift]

You need to call the parish and ask what the proceedure is. Warning!!! Most parishes have a preperation period for marriage. Ours is six months longer for cohabitation couples. So be prepared however, I also know that a priest should be willing to help you. God Bless You

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

As others noted, contact the parish immediately.

It may be possible to have your marriage prep period shortened, and I know several cases where this was done. In fact, my parents were married on very short notice (less than a week) due to a deployment. In your case, the period between now and when you want to get married is several months, so I don’t think shortening the prep period is unreasonable. However, your priest has the ultimate say.

 

[Corki]

In addition to what the others have said, have your fiancee speak to the Catholic chaplain where ever he is stationed. The chaplains have a lot of experience with this type of situation and can advise you or even help coordinate with your current parish.

 

[mab23]

yes I would call and try to schedule an appt to talk to a priest asap, some priests will expedite the process depending on the situation and factors in play!

hope it all works out!

 

[ishnianqueen]

1. “Officially engaged” just means that you’ve made an agreement to get married, which sounds like you have.
2. Military personnel usually get special treatment from priests regarding time regulations for the parish, BUT you have to ask! Put all your cards on the table and do it today if you can.
3. As an absolute last resort, you can get legally married by a JOP for the military’s records (get on insurance, housing, ID cards, etc) and then have a separate church wedding a little later, but this requires just as much discipline regarding cohabiting and sex as simply being engaged. I know people who have done this, but it’s not the best way, so if you can avoid it, that would be great.