I have been invited to a wedding in November. It will not be taking place in a church but rather in a banquet hall where the reception is. My question can I attend the wedding or just go to the reception? My daughters have both made there first holy communion and have also been invited. If we where to attend the wedding will we still be in the state of grace? The couple will be married by the justice of the peace and not a priest or minister.
I humbly–and timidly–disagree with some of the posts below (I don’t want to cause a fight on the thread another words). I believe that you can safely go to this wedding without sinning, regardless of the religion of either bride or groom. I attended my own son’s wedding and he was baptized Catholic but frankly, doesn’t practice the Catholic faith at this time–which needless to say, saddens me greatly. I want to be sure that I state right up front though, that just because I did something , doesn’t mean that i’m preaching that it’s always correct or the way someone else might approach the matter. I’d skip the online search as well if it were me and simply call my priest or ask in confession if I were actually concerned.
The bottom line is that any Catholic who chooses to be married outside the church is not a practicing Catholic–agreed? Most likely, if a person who was Baptized Catholic chooses to be married in a civil ceremony, he isn’t going to confession or Mass either. A Catholic deciding to be married by a JP doesn’t happen in a vacuum. They may have been Catholic before–they may become one again–but they aren’t one right now. In my son’s case, he isn’t practicing the faith and I’m well aware, though not pleased, of the fact. My daughter-in-law chose to have an outdoor wedding at her aunt’s home A mutual friend of both my son and his wife performed the ceremony. This gentleman is a protestant minister.
My reasoning was thus–and again, I don’t make any claim of validity in my thinking. To skip a family member or even a dear friend’s wedding-- even if you know that one party is or was Catholic–is a little self-righteous in my mind and is sure to cause the couple to feel snubbed and offended. This is particularly the case if they ask why you didn’t attend and you have to tell them why–that it’s because one of them is Catholic and sinning by marrying outside the church! It is certain to be taken as a slap in the face and casting judgment on their marriage. If the marriage were a gay couple, I would feel differently however. Why, since both are sins you may ask?
My rationale is that in a gay “marriage”, since Catholics believe that such a marriage is spiritually not even a true marriage—thus null and void— to attend implies
that you support a sexually based union outside of true marriage. A wedding between one man and one woman is accepted by the church–whether entered into with a protestant minister, a JP or other person authorized by the state The couple are entering a valid covenant between themselves and God—though to be in communion with the church and be able to receive the sacraments such as the Eucharist, confession would be required as well as having their civil wedding blessed by the church . Whether the couple ever does this is between them, their consciences and God.
If it were me, I would find time prior to the wedding and discuss the situation with your kids if you plan on taking them to the wedding. Explain to them that as Catholics, they should always plan to be married in the church. This would make a great dinner conversation in my opinion and would allow your children an opportunity to ask questions which then you could answer, illustrating Catholic teaching. You might even use the conversation as a chance to discuss the true meaning of Christian charity–that while you hate the sin, you love the sinner and thus choose charity over condemning them. Judgment will come from God. (just my thoughts–g:tiphat
od luck)
