I’m going to be buying one in the near future. I got to thinking that quite possibly I DON’T want to go with a diamond. #1 - Why conform? #2 - neither of us believe in spending a ton on jewelry. #3 - there are some moral issues with the diamond industry!
So, I am looking for ideas for alternate stones. I would love to hear from some of the people here about what is popular with devout Catholics. Thanks.
If you’re talking about engagement rings, have you talked to your future spouse about this? She may want a diamond. I know of a couple, the man was convinced not to get a real diamond for reasons you stated, and the girl went along with it, convincing herself this is what she wanted, but I could tell the disappointment on her face when she was talking about it. Not because she was frivolous either.
When it came down to me getting engaged, my husband had asked me what I wanted since we had had this discussion with the couple I mentioned above. My mom told me to just let him get me a diamond if he wanted b/c he wasn’t getting it for any of the above reasons, but he felt I was worth spending that amount of money and he wanted it to be special (and it does last “forever” in the sense that you’ll have it through your entire marriage). He didn’t want me to feel like I was someone he could find a bargain on and wasn’t worth full-price. Now, with that in mind, I chose a fairly small diamond (1/2 karat) because we discussed what he could afford and he had enough for that. It’s simple and plain but elegant - simple thin yellow gold band with a 1/2 karat diamond solitaire. I LOVE it and when it came to picking out wedding bands, I thought I’d want a simple gold band to match. After all, that’s the only type of ring I’ve ever seen on Catholic women (or at least all the homeschooling ones
). My husband, once again, wanted it to be special and dress it up a little, so once I realized my idea wouldn’t work out (we were hoping to get both of our wedding bands engraved on the inside but with my tiny fingers, the required width of the band just looked awful!), I ended up getting a wrap. It has two tiny diamonds on each side of the solitaire on my engagement ring and then a small gold band as the actual wedding band.
But anyway, I really would advise you to talk to your girlfriend about this. Because it’s really about what you both want - not what is “right” so to speak. While diamonds are expensive (and overpriced definitely), used by everyone (which the diamond industry started), and the ethics of the diamond industry itself is pretty awful, it is something you will be living with for the remainder of your lives together, unless you choose to replace it later, so think about that. Go over your ideas together and that’d probably be the bes way. If you plan to surprise her, maybe hint questions, have a friend ask her, or you can always return the ring if she doesn’t like it
.
