Wedding RSVP's--by email?

[kevinsgirl]

Hey everyone!

Since ya’ll gave such great advice about my other etiquette question, I thought I’d run this one past you…

Do you think it’s acceptable to put an e-mail RSVP option on your wedding invitations? Of course I’d need to include an alternative RSVP for those that do not have internet access…

I was just wondering if this seems unusual/crazy/reasonable to you…

Thanks so much,

kevinsgirl

P.S. I’ve also given some thought to the email address–it would be something tasteful…NOT hotchickwithcoolprince @ acrazyemail.com…

 

[armywife]

Please don’t. A wedding invitation is the one thing that hasn’t been totally “de-formalized” (I know it’s not a word) by e-mail.

PLEASE…DON’T

 

[Em_in_FL]

Hey everyone!

Since ya’ll gave such great advice about my other etiquette question, I thought I’d run this one past you…

Do you think it’s acceptable to put an e-mail RSVP option on your wedding invitations? Of course I’d need to include an alternative RSVP for those that do not have internet access…

I was just wondering if this seems unusual/crazy/reasonable to you…

Thanks so much,

kevinsgirl

P.S. I’ve also given some thought to the email address–it would be something tasteful…NOT hotchickwithcoolprince @ acrazyemail.com…

Depends on how formal you want your wedding to be!

I think it’s a clever idea… I’ve seen them before and certainly haven’t been offended…
Why waste the paper or the cost of a stamp?

Remember… the wedding ceremony is a sacrament in the Church… not a “formality checklist”…
Outside the actual ceremony… do what works for YOU!

Have fun planning!

 

[StratusRose]

I received a wedding invite this past year and it gave the option to RSVP on the internet, I took up the opportunity because I was already on the computer when I opened the invitation. The website was set up by the couple, it had pics of them, why they fell in love, details of the wedding, etc. It was really nice, actually.

I say “yea” to electronic RSVPs, but “nay” to electronic invitations. It’s good that you’re giving your guests an option for snail mail. I would prefer electronic responses because it’s faster.

 

[Nechasin]

Personally, I don’t have a problem with it and that is what I would use if given the option. But you are right that you need to give the option for people who don’t have access to internet.

 

[jrabs]

I also say yeah - great idea. I may even borrow that someday.

 

[lotusblossom]

I know it’s becoming a more popular thing to do. As long as you provide a convenient means of an alternative for those who don’t have internet access, I think it’d be fine.

We were thinking about doing this as well, but decided against it, because - 1. we were inviting almost 450 guests (knowing that about half would not be able to attend due to distance reasons) 2. since SO many guests were from out of town, we didn’t want any miscommunication or having to track down people if at all possible and 3. because emails can get lost and you’d never know. Of course, with that said, we had a few RSVP’s get lost before getting to us as well as a few invitations never make it to the addressee and were not returned to us til after the wedding. We did still have several friends email us their RSVPs anyway .

 

[StratusRose]

1. we were inviting almost 450 guests (knowing that about half would not be able to attend due to distance reasons) .

:bigyikes:

My stomach dropped when I saw that number. For me, that would be my worst nightmare!! Right now I’m freaking out about the 199 guests on our list.

 

[Lucania]

I personally don’t like that idea. If you are going to give the option, that means you will be spending unecessary money for stamps for your response cards. As a Mother of a Bride this past May, if I had to also check my e-mail every day for responses, I would be pulling my hair out:bigyikes: In other words, it is giving added work/stress to your Mom or who ever is helping you with your invitations/responses . It can’t get any easier than signing your name and checking will attend or regrets, and sticking it in the mail, yet some people tend to slack in that area no matter how easy you make it. We had no problems using snail-mail either. So I vote no on the e-mail option, but what ever is easy for you, go for it.

 

[lotusblossom]

:bigyikes:

My stomach dropped when I saw that number. For me, that would be my worst nightmare!! Right now I’m freaking out about the 199 guests on our list.

LOL! Honestly, mine did too when I added up the people. Before DH and I got engaged officially, my mom told me to start making a list of people I’d alone want to invite. I told her I didn’t think we’d have more than 100 on my side, which would make it about 150-175 in all. Well, once I started jotting down names, I found out my list was over 200! However, because our date was in the middle of summer, and most of DH’s side was not coming b/c it was out of town for them (he’s from OH, I’m from IL), we ended up having only about a little more than 150 guests .

 

[Lucania]

We were thinking about doing this as well, but decided against it, because - 1. we were inviting almost 450 guests (knowing that about half would not be able to attend due to distance reasons)

450 Invitations!!! I’m getting a visual of my dear Husband passing out!! We sent out 100 invitations and did not think that most of our out of towners would come. We were wrong! Most all of them came. Not a problem as we figured them in “just in case” and ended up with about 130 people attending.

 

[lotusblossom]

Well, not 450 invitations - just invitees…about 250 invitations . Still, this happens when you make too many friends and move too many times and have a fairly large amount of relatives.

 

[Lucania]

Well, not 450 invitations - just invitees…about 250 invitations . Still, this happens when you make too many friends and move too many times and have a fairly large amount of relatives.

Oh okay. I went back & re-read your post. So you ended up having a little over 150 guests. Whew!

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

A few things:

We had a website and let people know about it (thru email etc) and there was an option to RSVP on the website. We did not mention it on the invitation though. We did make it clear on the site that if they RSVP’s on the site they did not need to do it through snail mail.

About inviting 450 people, be careful. Don’t assume people will not come. Also, if you know they can’t come, and aren’t that close to them (and don’t need to send them an invitation for other reasons), then if you do send them one it will seem like you are fishing for presents… Not saying that that is the case, but it may seem that way.

 

[kevinsgirl]

I personally don’t like that idea. In other words, it is giving added work/stress to your Mom or who ever is helping you with your invitations/responses .

Actually, it’ll just be me doing it and I check my e-mail everyday so it shouldn’t be too stressful if I do it this way…

 

[lotusblossom]

A few things:

We had a website and let people know about it (thru email etc) and there was an option to RSVP on the website. We did not mention it on the invitation though. We did make it clear on the site that if they RSVP’s on the site they did not need to do it through snail mail.

About inviting 450 people, be careful. Don’t assume people will not come. Also, if you know they can’t come, and aren’t that close to them (and don’t need to send them an invitation for other reasons), then if you do send them one it will seem like you are fishing for presents… Not saying that that is the case, but it may seem that way.

I think the way you did it is a great idea!

Also, my wedding was over three months ago and we did invite that many people. However, we didn’t just assume. My MIL sent out RSVP save the dates about 7 months in advance (she is great at planning ahead) for DH’s side and out of the ~150 people invited, only about 35 responded “yes/maybe.” Also, we didn’t invite people we weren’t close to, with the exception of relatives, which was mandatory (ie. it would have caused a big rift in my family if certain members we weren’t close to were not invited). My family just has a lot of close friends and there were a lot of people in my life that I’ve kept in touch with along with about 50 friends from college since we just graduated. Anyway, I wouldn’t advise anyone to assume that people aren’t coming. We estimated about 250-300 coming and happen to only have 150ish.

 

[lotusblossom]

I’m sorry, if I took over the thread…not trying to

 

[JessicaCeleste]

IMO, it’s perfectly acceptable to do that. My husband and I did that as well as providing an address / telephone number for those w/o access to RSVP.

One thing you might try is setting up a temporary email address that is strictly for the RSVP’s (ex. jonesweddingrsvp@gmail.com).
A friend of mine took that one step farther and set up a Yahoo Group that was dedicated to just wedding stuffs.

Jess

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

I think the way you did it is a great idea!

Also, my wedding was over three months ago and we did invite that many people. However, we didn’t just assume. My MIL sent out RSVP save the dates about 7 months in advance (she is great at planning ahead) for DH’s side and out of the ~150 people invited, only about 35 responded “yes/maybe.” Also, we didn’t invite people we weren’t close to, with the exception of relatives, which was mandatory (ie. it would have caused a big rift in my family if certain members we weren’t close to were not invited). My family just has a lot of close friends and there were a lot of people in my life that I’ve kept in touch with along with about 50 friends from college since we just graduated. Anyway, I wouldn’t advise anyone to assume that people aren’t coming. We estimated about 250-300 coming and happen to only have 150ish.

Lol, I’m sorry I didn’t read all the posts before posting… the funny thing is I already knew that not only are you married, but you are expecting too! Somehow I was reading it like if it was kevinsgirl posting… I’m glad everything went well for you

 

[LittleRose]

Even if you don’t offer an e-mail RSVP option in your invitations, there will still be a few people who will find less formal ways to respond to your invitation (e-mails, phone calls, mentioning it in passing during a conversation). Some won’t respond at all, but may still show up.