Wedding Sadness, Looking for insight

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The OP was not baptized in a non-Catholic ecclesial community and did not attend RCIA.
That’s not what’s at issue. You’ve misunderstood the discussion.

The OP is going the other direction. She maintains that infant baptism does not have the power to force her to be Catholic for the rest of her life, when she does not consent. Moreover, she maintains that she can be a Methodist if she chooses, and consequently can marry as a Methodist if she chooses.
 
I am completely out of my element when you pull out the Summa. 😃

Are you referring to this section?

It looks like he is saying that lack of consent doesn’t necessarily make the Sacrament invalid but that it introduces an element of doubt.

I have only ever head of a conditional Baptism being done when there is doubt over form or matter and that’s usually when a person is baptized as a non-Catholic. But the good doctor was writing before the Protestant revolution and I am sure there has been many things written since then, especially with the objection from some Protestant groups to the validity of infant Baptism altogether.

Before we go too far out on this limb, it’s good to point out that any claim that the Baptism was invalid would mean that the person is not just “un-Catholic” but also “un-Christian”. And I don’t think that is anyone’s claim (at least on this thread).
Not talking about invalid baptisms here. We’re talking about the fact that a baptism can be done and yet the baptized does not automatically become Catholic thereby, even if they do become Christian. In fact, this happens all the time in protestant communities.
 
The equivalent of what?
Equivalent of a Catholic baptism. When a person goes through RCIA if they’ve been baptised using the proper set of words, they don’t have to be re-baptized as a Catholic. The act of becoming Catholic in that case consists of making an act of profession to the Church.

I know this. I’ve done this myself in exactly this way.
 
Perhaps you want to speculate on whether the OP’s baptism had a lack of proper matter. It is possible that the minister used milk or beer. If he did not use water, then it would be invalid. She can ask her parents if milk or beer was used; this could be grounds for invalidation.

It is not useful to speculate whether the OP’s baptism had the proper minister. Anyone may baptize. If a layman or invalidly ordained priest baptized the OP, then it was done illicitly but validly.
With respect, what you have stated is extremely speculative. There is nothing in my post that remotely suggests I was speculating on the OP’s baptism, or whether it has a lack of proper matter. I fail to see what in post could have prompted someone to draw this conclusion. I have no idea what you are basing this statement on. All I can say is you are way off here in relation to the manner in which I intended my post to be understood. My post had nothing remotely to do with the validity of the baptism.
Since the OP is intent on becoming Methodist through-and-through, perhaps it is in her best interest to cast doubt on its validity. Perhaps she wishes to endure a canonical trial in which she contends her baptism was invalid from the start. It’s within the realm of possibility. Perhaps she is tired of Catholicism and just wants nothing more to do with the Church. That is more likely.
No comment - I’ve never met the OP, know nothing about her and my point of inquiry had absolutely nothing to do with the validity of her baptism. Suffice to say I don’t see how any of this is relevant to anything I wrote.
When I became an agnostic, the last thing I would have wanted was a Church trial, where I would have to deal with Church leaders again, and put up with my parents giving evidence against me, I would rather go out to a nightclub than go to Mass or an early-morning tribunal. I wore a Fields of the Nephilim tee-shirt and green velvet pants to my jury duty and got excused right away. I wasn’t much interested in the establishment at all. But I also wasn’t secure in my agnostic faith, and I am unsure that I would be so ready to renounce it. The OP is prepared to renounce her faith, and if it were still possible to make an Formal Act of Defection, she would make it, and she would be free to marry. She should have done it four years ago before the promulgation of Omnium in Mentem. Now it is too late.
I was under the impression the OP’s question related to a valid marriage. If baptism alone makes someone Catholic, all I can say is it’s the first time I’ve heard that. I was under the impression a person had to be admitted to Holy Communion and make their first confession and be Confirmed ‘sealed’ in order, for want of a better phrase, for a person to be fully admitted to the Catholic Church. Baptism is the first step in that direction, but not the last.
Perhaps now with the abolition of Formal Acts of Defection, it is more likely that atheists will demand tribunals to invalidate their baptisms. In Europe, atheist ex-Catholics are demanding that the Church destroy their baptismal records. All the Church would do is make a notation in the sacramental record that the atheist renounced the Church. This is not good enough for the atheists. Just look at what is happening in Germany. The new decree in German particular law does release Catholics from the requirement to marry in the Church, although it does bar them from receiving any sacrament at all. We will see if the Church continues to make concessions, and if so, I predict that the “un-baptism” movement will spread to the United States in due time. I will pray as always for the OP, and the posters in this thread, may God bless them and keep them.
As I have never heard of the ‘un-baptism’ movement, I can’t comment. I apologize for repeating myself, but not in my wildest dreams did I envisage anyone on this thread interpreting what I stated as casting doubt on the validity of the OP’s baptism. I won’t say anymore as I have I attempted to make my point of inquiry clear in other posts, which had nothing to do with the validity of her baptism, and I don’t want to repeat it.
 
Dixieeagle,

If she says she’s a METHODIST, then she’s a METHODIST. She’d ought to know.

I have this discussion with Catholics all the time. It is possible to leave the Catholic church of one’s own free will. People do it every now and then. Many of them never come back. Temper tantrums on our part when we see it don’t do either them or us any good.

I’m not really sure how her parents see it, not knowing them. There could be all kinds of things going on, trust me. WE don’t know all the details. This is only an internet forum.
I am not making this up, nor am I having a temper tantrum; she is not my daughter.

You are apparently unfamiliar with the issues surrounding “formal defection” from the Church. While there had formerly been a process, it is no longer possible. It is, admittedly, a confusing and difficult issue. Here is a pretty good explanation:

jimmyakin.com/2009/12/once-a-catholic.html

Ultimately, this is all between the OP and God.
 
No, look closely: “But if there be doubt about [his intention]…” so there is your doubt. As I said before, positive lack of intent is hard to prove! Aquinas acknowledges that there is more likely to be mere doubt here.
(emphasis is mine)
Well, I don’t think it’s that hard to prove. I think that if the explicit statement of the adult in question doesn’t satisfy the requirement of proof, I’m not sure what would.

People do have the right to choose whether to refuse or not. You can’t force someone to be Catholic against their will.
 
As Corki explained to you just today, Catholic baptism has two effects, and one of those is reception into the Church. This effect has never been separate. This is the same reception that is done with Candidates from RCIA.

Catholic baptism has always included a reception into the Church. It is impossible to celebrate a valid Catholic baptism without conferring Church membership on the recipient. The OP had a putatively valid Catholic infant baptism and therefore was received into the Church at that exact time.
Well, I don’t think it’s [intent] that hard to prove. I think that if the explicit statement of the adult in question doesn’t satisfy the requirement of proof, I’m not sure what would.
The statement would need to be taken in evidence at a Church Tribunal. It is not up to the pastor to say “oh, you had a lack of intent? Invalid it was, then!” He does not have that authority. Neither does a bishop. Intent is a canonically protected quality that enjoys the favor of law.
 
No, a person cannot “unreceive” themselves from the community. Consent is not really part of the understanding of the Sacrament - even for an adult.
Neither is pledging assent.
Which means it’s just done to you. And if you don’t like it, you can ignore it, just like the OP has decided to do. She can do that, according to what you’ve said here, and she is.
Consent is a factor only in terms of who may receive the Sacrament, not on its effects. For example, the Church won’t Baptize anyone over the age of 14 without his/her consent.
And yes, you saw my objection coming about this. We are not going to go out on the street anytime soon, grabbing pedestrians and baptizing them against their wills while they walk down the street. We don’t have the right to do this either. Like it would have any point to it at all… :cool: The ones who didn’t retaliate physically or sue us would ignore us, and rightly so.
 
Except in the case of a person being baptized as a Baptist, who doesn’t become a Catholic as a result. This is demonstrable by the fact that if the same person shows up later in RCIA, they don’t have to be re-baptized but they do have to attain union with the Church before they can receive Holy Communion. Baptists cannot just waltz into Catholic churches and receive HOly Communion without going through RCIA, baptized or not.

I am aware of this. This is not what confirmation is for. Moreover, what makes someone truly Catholic may not have anything to do with a particular sacrament. :eek:
[Maybe some Catholics are not aware of how many non-Catholics visit Catholic churches and get into Communion lines without understanding what they are doing. Happens all the time and twice as often on Christmas.]

In the Latin Rite, it is true that infants don’t receive Holy Communion. Not the case in the East. Infants cannot consent also, so not sure how this works. Perhaps they receive at the behest of their parents, in whose care they are until they can consent.

Yes, this is the Catholic opinion, but not the opinion of non-Catholics. The OP does not hold this opinion, so it’s rather pointless to tout it to her in a forum. She doesn’t believe it.

Bingo! Now, we’re getting to the point, by whatever you want to call it.

Nevertheless, to quote you, “she has the ability to choose to accept her Catholic faith or renounce it in part or in whole.”

You can tell better than she can what she intended…in an internet forum, yet? I doubt that.

I really do think that infant baptism can have some of the properties of forced conversion. For that reason I personally think that it’s possible for a person to choose not to be Catholic as an adult. And I think that should be respected.

I also think that Catholics make a huge mistake desperately trying to hang onto people who don’t want to be Catholic. It’s not right because people can “the ability to choose to accept her Catholic faith or renounce it in part or in whole,” as you said above. That’s the meaning of assent.
I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of wishing-to-be-ex-Catholics being forcibly held in a Catholic church against their will. 😉 As far as I know, there aren’t squads of Catholic enforcers going door to door with a list. The OP - who sounds like a delightful, intelligent and thoughtful young woman - is, of course, free to worship and marry wherever she wishes. However, none of that changes the way she is regarded by the Catholic Church of her baptism.
 
Not talking about invalid baptisms here. We’re talking about the fact that a baptism can be done and yet the baptized does not automatically become Catholic thereby, even if they do become Christian. In fact, this happens all the time in protestant communities.
This is exactly were I was coming from.

In addition, I have no idea whether the OP received Sacraments against their will or not. This is not about proof, or lack of concerning the OP’s intentions. My point of inquiry was of a general nature; if a person is received into the Catholic Church against their will, can they be considered truly Catholic. The validity of the Sacraments they received was not in question. If a person validly receives Sacraments against their will and that makes them Catholic, hypothetically speaking we could to around making everyone Catholic whether they like it or not, demand they marry in a Catholic Church and consider them to be living in sin if they don’t.
 
She did ask in post #1: “If I were your child, what would you do? What can I do to fix this?? I’d appreciate some honest feedback because I think my parents are being really unfair.”
Yes, this was exactly the OP’s question.
 
I am not making this up, nor am I having a temper tantrum; she is not my daughter.

You are apparently unfamiliar with the issues surrounding “formal defection” from the Church. While there had formerly been a process, it is no longer possible. It is, admittedly, a confusing and difficult issue. Here is a pretty good explanation:

jimmyakin.com/2009/12/once-a-catholic.html

Ultimately, this is all between the OP and God.
Very interesting information which helps explain the position of the Catholic parents of OP.

The Canon law modification is also something I did not know about. Thanks for sharing this.
 
I am not making this up, nor am I having a temper tantrum; she is not my daughter.

You are apparently unfamiliar with the issues surrounding “formal defection” from the Church. While there had formerly been a process, it is no longer possible. It is, admittedly, a confusing and difficult issue. Here is a pretty good explanation:

jimmyakin.com/2009/12/once-a-catholic.html

Ultimately, this is all between the OP and God.
I know about this issue. It is a BIG MISTAKE for the Church to fight these cases when people want to leave. The Church should just let them sign and leave, creating some sort of legal class for them. They do have a right to leave if they desire to do so of their own explicit free will, aka uncompelled signature.
 
I know about this issue. It is a BIG MISTAKE for the Church to fight these cases when people want to leave. The Church should just let them sign and leave, creating some sort of legal class for them. They do have a right to leave if they desire to do so of their own explicit free will, aka uncompelled signature.
Are you saying that the Church was supposed to support the protestant reformation? Are you saying that the Church should accept and formalize heresy and/or schismatic behaviors? The Church is not fighting anyone, the Church simply displays sadness to schism or apostasy.
 
As Corki explained to you just today, Catholic baptism has two effects, and one of those is reception into the Church. This effect has never been separate. This is the same reception that is done with Candidates from RCIA.
No, it’s not what happens in RCIA. A person who shows up in RCIA whose been previously baptized is NOT considered Catholic UNTIL they make their profession of faith at Easter. This is why they are not allowed the sacraments until Easter. I’ve been there and experienced this personally. That’s how it works.
Catholic baptism has always included a reception into the Church. It is impossible to celebrate a valid Catholic baptism without conferring Church membership on the recipient. The OP had a putatively valid Catholic infant baptism and therefore was received into the Church at that exact time.
This simply is not true about baptism in general. Catholic baptism apparently has this added expectation added to it. My contention is that the child is brought in at the behest of the parents under their blanket consent until they are old enough to give consent for themselves… See my last paragraph.
The statement would need to be taken in evidence at a Church Tribunal. It is not up to the pastor to say “oh, you had a lack of intent? Invalid it was, then!” He does not have that authority. Neither does a bishop. Intent is a canonically protected quality that enjoys the favor of law.
The priest and the bishop might not, but the person in question does. They know what they intend. They have free will.

Think of it this way: If a person can will themselves into hell, it’s hard to say they can’t will themselves out of the Catholic church. Extreme example, yes, but illustrative of the argument as well.

PS: DO NOT CONSTRUE this last argument into a statement of hell for Methodists or anything of the sort. I personally think that there will be some Methodists in heaven and that not all Catholics will be there. In fact, I think that it’s going to be a big surprise who’s there and who’s not.
 
I know about this issue. It is a BIG MISTAKE for the Church to fight these cases when people want to leave. The Church should just let them sign and leave, creating some sort of legal class for them. They do have a right to leave if they desire to do so of their own explicit free will, aka uncompelled signature.
Interesting argument. The JW’s demand the same. If you want to leave you must write a letter stating your intention not to be known as a JW any longer. Alternatively you can get yourself kicked out. I didn’t bother. Neither did I bother to go before their elders for one of their ‘courts.’ I remember asking the priest who catechized me if I needed to inform them, and he told me it was none of their business and the Catholic Church didn’t care what their rules were.

I prefer the way Corki explained things. The Church never abandons her children, always hopes they will come back and if they want to do so the way is open.
 
A Trinitarian Baptism makes one a Christian and a member of the catholic (universal) Church. A Trinitarian Baptism in the Catholic Church makes one a Catholic, in the Anglican Church, an Anglican, in the Methodist Church, a Methodist, in the United Church of Canada, a member of the United Church of Canada. We confess one Baptism for the remission of sins. But the Anglican priests I know would not baptize someone who wasn’t intending to be Anglican (short of danger of death) - and yes, they have run into that when a Catholic parent didn’t like the Pastor of the local parish and approached them for what they knew was a valid Baptism.

Someone who has been validly baptized in another Church or ecclesial community is Christian and but not in full communion with the Catholic Church. A simple Profession of Faith and Confirmation brings them into full communion (IOW, makes them a big “C” Catholic) and allows them to receive Communion.
 
Equivalent of a Catholic baptism. When a person goes through RCIA if they’ve been baptised using the proper set of words, they don’t have to be re-baptized as a Catholic. The act of becoming Catholic in that case consists of making an act of profession to the Church.

I know this. I’ve done this myself in exactly this way.
They aren’t equivalent. Baptism in the Catholic Church accomplishes two things; Baptism in a non-Catholic community only accomplishes one. That’s why the person goes to RCIA and doesn’t just jump into the Communion line. That’s why a profession of faith is required. A person Baptized as a baby in a Catholic ceremony but who never had any other contact with the Church would not be required to make a profession of faith.
This is exactly were I was coming from.

In addition, I have no idea whether the OP received Sacraments against their will or not. This is not about proof, or lack of concerning the OP’s intentions. My point of inquiry was; if a person is received into the Catholic Church against their will, can they be considered truly Catholic - not the validity of the Sacraments they received.
The OP was Baptized as an infant. She didn’t receive the Sacrament “against her will” since an infant cannot form, let alone express, an intention to deny the Sacrament. By extension, it would seem that you are saying that all Catholics who were Baptized as infants are not “truly Catholic” unless they do something extra.
If a person validly receives Sacraments against their will and that makes them Catholic, hypothetically speaking we could to around making everyone Catholic whether they like it or not, demand they marry in a Catholic Church and consider them to be living in sin if they don’t.
Which is why priests often won’t baptize babies unless there is a reasonable chance they will be brought up in the faith and why it is so wrong for “grandma” to secretely Baptise a baby against the parents’ wishes. There are real, life long, (name removed by moderator)lications to being Baptized.
 
This is the same reception that is done with Candidates from RCIA.
I said candidates from RCIA, I stand by what I said, because it is true. You are correct, but you have not contradicted anything I said. Candidates from RCIA participate in sacraments at the appropriate time. This is usually the Easter vigil. It is not unheard of for candidates to be received into the Church at other times of the year, such as Christ the King. This can be done in special circumstances. But the OP was not in RCIA, so this is pointless clouding of the issue for her.
This simply is not true about baptism in general. Catholic baptism apparently has this added expectation added to it. My contention is that the child is brought in at the behest of the parents under their blanket consent until they are old enough to give consent for themselves… See my last paragraph.
You are speaking about “baptism in general” but I am speaking about only Catholic baptism. This is the sacrament the OP received, this is the Liturgy & Sacraments forum in Catholic Answers, therefore we cannot concern ourselves with Protestant things except from a Catholic perspective. And I am only talking about the OP’s baptism, which was a Catholic baptism.

No additional consent is required at a later age for someone to be considered Catholic. A Catholic infant remains that way for eternity.
The priest and the bishop might not, but the person in question does. They know what they intend. They have free will.
It is irrelevant what the person in question thinks about her intent when the Church presumes the sacrament to be valid. You cannot “wish away” a sacrament. A priest cannot dismiss a presumptively valid sacrament by his word. You need a canonical tribunal and a judgement to invalidate it.
 
I know about this issue. It is a BIG MISTAKE for the Church to fight these cases when people want to leave. The Church should just let them sign and leave, creating some sort of legal class for them. They do have a right to leave if they desire to do so of their own explicit free will, aka uncompelled signature.
Are you aware of the Church “fighting these cases”? I am not. The Church can’t force them to come to Mass or partake of the sacraments (there are, sadly, plenty of “practicing” Catholics who don’t always attend Mass…) There is, however, no formal defection process, since approximately 2010.
 
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