Wedding $$$$$

[JKS]

A couple of entirely different situations happen:
There’s the OP’s situation, where a long-time parish family is being asked to pay the “non-member” fee for a wedding. I think we mostly agree that that’s pretty crazy, given that the daughter moved out only a short time ago, etc.

There’s the “greedy” parish situation, where the pastor charges lots of money for anyone, parishioner or not, to “rent” the facilities.

…And there are Bridezillas, who haven’t been to Mass for years, and have shopped for the prettiest church in town. They’re spending $10,000 on a dress, $20,000 on the caterer, etc, and are totally put out that the pastor of the parish with a pretty church has decided that he can’t afford 30 of these weddings every year and wants $800 for the cost to the parish.

(Bridezillas exist in all parts of the country, but they tend to migrate to coastal regions.)

It’s usually pretty obvious which situation we’re talking about. (For the record: My Midwestern parish, with a gorgeous building, didn’t charge us for the use of the building when I came back home to be married.)

 

[HouseArrest]

**I also wonder for those parishes who are low in funds, I remember ours back in PA would ‘claimed’ this, it was always a thorny conversation, when the parish would wonder where the head priest was for the past month, and come to find out he was skiing in Switzerland…or visiting Rome…or on a cruise. So…hmm…a faithful parishioner needs to come up with a large fee to use the church facility, even though he/she has donated thousands to this parish, but the priest can take an extravagant vacation? I loved that priest…still do. We write to each other all the time. I miss him, and believe priests need vacations. But, I have not been to Rome or Switzerland, and think it’s wrong for a ‘struggling’ parish to use funds for priests’ personal vacations. I don’t mean to go off topic, but it bears mentioning, because I really wonder if some parishes need some help when it comes to managing the money of the church.

Confirmations–there is no charge, and the parish facility is being used probably for less time than for a wedding (confirmation ceremonies are long!), than a long confirmation ceremony. I also wasn’t charged when my kids made holy communion. So…why charge for a wedding mass? **

Hmmm… wondering if we have had the same priest…

But seriously, are you sure the parish paid for the vacations? I am under the impression that our frequent flier priest is having his vacations paid for by others. Just a thought.

 

[whatevergirl]

Hmmm… wondering if we have had the same priest…

But seriously, are you sure the parish paid for the vacations? I am under the impression that our frequent flier priest is having his vacations paid for by others. Just a thought.

I don’t believe any one person paid for the vacation–now granted, he could get a stipend ‘salary…’ So I shouldn’t judge.

 

[TAS2000]

Where we are the diocesan priests do not take a vow of poverty, and some are quite well off and pay for their own vacations. The order priests do take vows of poverty and would only take vacations if a friend was coming to drive them someplace etc.

As for the person who said the church is there anyway, doesn’t get cleaned between wedding and mass, etc. NOT where we are. The AC is turned WAY up when no one is there and it takes a bit to bring it down before mass. So someone has to drive to church and turn it on for a special event. Then they have to be there because no one who just showed up from the bridal party would have keys to unlock the door to the room where the lights are, and no one would know how to turn them on. It ain’t just a usual flip the switch. Then they have to now how to work the sound system. You might also have to help the outside singers/musicains figure out how to get to the loft, or explain that they can’t set up in the sanctuary. And how to plug into the sound system. And you probably also had to open up before hand so someone could come in to put up decorations. Then you can explain why hanging a 5 foot snowfake form the ceiling and putting 2 eight foot blow up snowman on either side of the alter isn’t allowed. (NOT kidding). Then once the party leaves, you have to go through all the pews and remove the 60 boxes of kleenex and 200 wedding booklets that guests left behind and replace the 45 song books that people didn’t put back in the racks and put up the kneelers. Not to mention clean up the cheerios, etc that the kids dropped on the floor. You might also have to scrape wax out of the carpet from the pew candles that they put on the ends of the pews. And remove tape residue from where they taped the pew bows to the pews with duct tape. ETC ETC ETC.

If you schedule you wedding to take place during a regular mass adn don’t do any of this other stuff, then yeah, the church is there. Anything else is a special use. I agree it would be great if the church didn’t have to charge for the building. It would also be great if i could send my kids to school there without tuition, because, hey the school is there anyway right? But reality is that most people do not contribute enough to allow the parish to afford such generosity. So if you want the big wedding and all the trappings outside of a regular mass, then be prepared to pay for it. And as always, if you TRULY can’t afford (not don’t want to pay it) the parish will usually work with you.

 

[TAS2000]

BTW, at least here, the preist is always paid a salary by the parish, in addition to whatever stipends he may recieve. The order preists salaries are “grouped” with all the others from their order, ie. it isn’t “their” money. They make money for the order, and the money goes to pay for housing, healthcare, etc for all in the order, so younger preists are paying the upkeep for the older retired ones who can’t work anymore. The diocesan preists gets to keep their salary.