Wedding

[bugz2007]

It appears that the AAA forum isn’t accepting new posts at the moment…so I will try this here.

Alright, so my Catholic dad got married to a wonderful, wonderful lady yesterday. She’s amazing for him, and I love her like a mother. I was a bridesmaid and witness at the wedding. Sounds fine and dandy, doesn’t it?

Here’s the trouble. My biological mother, and Dad’s first wife is still alive. They were married outside the Catholic Church by a justice of the peace, despite my dad’s obligation to be married within it. So strike against them. They’ve now been divorced for three years. Two strikes. However, my father’s priest told him that he would not need an annulment because his first marriage was invalid. Now, as I understand it, he would need one, it would just be really easy to obtain. There’s the first problem.

The second is that my dad was married yesterday on a golf course, by a Methodist minister, without a dispensation to do so. His priest told him he could.

These two things have been concerning me, and I chose to discuss them with my father two weeks ago. He was going to go with what the priest said because he had no reason not to trust the priest (other than that I was telling him otherwise).

I know that all of these things were then in his court, and there was nothing more I could do to change the circumstances…however, I still participated in the wedding, as I mentioned above. I feel terrible about it, because I felt there was a conflict between supporting my dad by supporting his wedding…and obeying God.

Did I do something terrible here? I intend to talk to an apologist, and a priest about such…but I need to make sure I don’t talk to the priest that gave my father permission in the first place. This is really weighing quite heavily on my heart.

 

[vz71]

Is this priest the Bishop?

If not, I would question if he really has the authority to make the decisions that were made.

 

[bugz2007]

I know that he doesn’t. I think his decisions were wrong entirely. I think that he put my father in a very dangerous position, morally.

 

[puzzleannie]

It Here’s the trouble. My biological mother, and Dad’s first wife is still alive. They were married outside the Catholic Church by a justice of the peace, despite my dad’s obligation to be married within it. So strike against them. They’ve now been divorced for three years. Two strikes. However, my father’s priest told him that he would not need an annulment because his first marriage was invalid. Now, as I understand it, he would need one, it would just be really easy to obtain. There’s the first problem.

The second is that my dad was married yesterday on a golf course, by a Methodist minister, without a dispensation to do so. His priest told him he could.

first we don’t really know what the priest said, only what your dad said, or understood the priest to say.

second, no a full annulment would not be required in such a case but there is a paperwork process that must be followed so freedom to marry is established. If what you say really happened, this was not a Catholic wedding anyway, but lets give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Let us assume the priest took care of the paperwork without your dad realizing it, and took care of the dispensation (highly unlikely since in most places the bishop would have to become involved if the location is not a church and the minister not a Catholic clergyman).

I would have no scruples about asking the priest who counselled your dad, except for the obvious fact that it is your dad’s problem, and your rights in the area are necessarily limited. The priest deserves to be called on this.

 

[bugz2007]

But did I do anything wrong?

And worse yet, did I do anything that I should not receive the Eucharist for when I attend Mass later this afternoon?

 

[puzzleannie]

how on earth could you have done something wrong? your dad is a big boy, you told him the truth, up to him to live with it.

 

[Phemie]

It appears that the AAA forum isn’t accepting new posts at the moment…so I will try this here.

Alright, so my Catholic dad got married to a wonderful, wonderful lady yesterday. She’s amazing for him, and I love her like a mother. I was a bridesmaid and witness at the wedding. Sounds fine and dandy, doesn’t it?

Here’s the trouble. My biological mother, and Dad’s first wife is still alive. They were married outside the Catholic Church by a justice of the peace, despite my dad’s obligation to be married within it. So strike against them. They’ve now been divorced for three years. Two strikes. However, my father’s priest told him that he would not need an annulment because his first marriage was invalid. Now, as I understand it, he would need one, it would just be really easy to obtain. There’s the first problem.

It depends on the diocese. In mine the priest would simply have documented the facts of the previous marriage in detail to show its invalidity. Our bishop doesn’t require that marriages that can be shown to be invalid due to lack of canonical form be submitted to the Marriage Tribunal.

The second is that my dad was married yesterday on a golf course, by a Methodist minister, without a dispensation to do so. His priest told him he could.

If truly there was no dispensation this marriage also seems to be invalid due to lack of canonical form.
These two things have been concerning me, and I chose to discuss them with my father two weeks ago. He was going to go with what the priest said because he had no reason not to trust the priest (other than that I was telling him otherwise).

I know that all of these things were then in his court, and there was nothing more I could do to change the circumstances…however, I still participated in the wedding, as I mentioned above. I feel terrible about it, because I felt there was a conflict between supporting my dad by supporting his wedding…and obeying God.

Did I do something terrible here? I intend to talk to an apologist, and a priest about such…but I need to make sure I don’t talk to the priest that gave my father permission in the first place. This is really weighing quite heavily on my heart.

I’m no apologist, but since your dad was apparently acting on advice from his priest, I doubt that you did anything wrong. But from the sound of your post you will feel better once you’ve discussed that with your own priest.

 

[bugz2007]

how on earth could you have done something wrong? your dad is a big boy, you told him the truth, up to him to live with it.

Because I knew the truth, and still signed that marriage license…I know there are people on this site who would have said that I should not go to the wedding, even. [sigh]