In our parish, the organist, altar servers, lectors/readers, and cantors are provided for funerals whenever possible. Sometimes no cantors (who are mostly adults with day jobs) are available on weekdays, and sometimes it’s hard to round up a full complement of altar servers on a Saturday (but on weekdays they’re just pulled out of class from the elementary school). But we do what we can.
We don’t usually have EMHC’s for funerals, unless maybe if a really large crowd is expected. The only large funeral I’ve attended here was for our organist’s father, who was himself an EMHC, so all the other EMHC’s attended. In fact, if I may say so, that was the most beautiful funeral I’ve ever attended. The full choir sang, and the Mass was concelebrated by our pastor and the deceased’s son (not our organist, the one who’s a priest!); our former pastor and weekend assistant also assisted at the Mass.
I’ve never been to a wedding in this parish, but I think it’s up to the bride and groom to make their own arrangements (although I’m not sure about the altar servers, but everything else is up to them). I don’t think they normally have EMHC’s then, either, because when my husband was one he was never asked to do a wedding.
I like when they do Baptisms during Mass, although I’m glad it’s not done too frequently – two or three times a year is enough.
Deborah