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HNA444
Guest
How do you all think God would want us to celebrate our weddings? Do you think having a simple wedding is more acceptable than having a huge and expensive wedding???
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Lorrie
Guest
I don’t think He cares either way as long as it’s done in the Church. 
For myself, I know I wouldn’t want a grandiose ceremony, but I also don’t want a Little House on the Prairie one. Somewhere in the middle is nice (for me).
For myself, I know I wouldn’t want a grandiose ceremony, but I also don’t want a Little House on the Prairie one. Somewhere in the middle is nice (for me).
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Newbie2
Guest
My guess is that it’s a matter or prudent use of one’s means, just like spending on anything else. If one has lots of money to spare and is otherwise generous, having a “big” wedding seems perfectly OK. Remember that the money that gets spread around helps support the people who work in the wedding industry.
On the side of the less wealthy, blowing money that one will really need for living expenses, saving for retirement, emergency money, etc. on a big wedding that one cannot really afford exibits poor stewardship of one’s resources.
One other thought, intent is important. The idea is to say “come and celebrate with us” rather than “look at us and how extravagant our wedding is” with the money that is spent for the celebration.
On the side of the less wealthy, blowing money that one will really need for living expenses, saving for retirement, emergency money, etc. on a big wedding that one cannot really afford exibits poor stewardship of one’s resources.
One other thought, intent is important. The idea is to say “come and celebrate with us” rather than “look at us and how extravagant our wedding is” with the money that is spent for the celebration.
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Irishmom2
Guest
Just a clarifying point…Weddings themselves are not expensive. It is only what people add to their wedding such as flowers or runners to walk down the aisle on, booklets etc. that cause them to get expensive. A wedding can be done in church without any of these things.
Many people use the term wedding to include the reception afterward, and this is where it gets expensive. This is where the potential for losing the “simplicity” begins and the potential for “bridezillary” comes into play. Too many people think of the reception as being the most important part of their day.
Hopefully on this site, that is not the case!
Many people use the term wedding to include the reception afterward, and this is where it gets expensive. This is where the potential for losing the “simplicity” begins and the potential for “bridezillary” comes into play. Too many people think of the reception as being the most important part of their day.
Hopefully on this site, that is not the case!
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Bluegoat
Guest
I saw an average figure for weddings in Canada recently - over $20,000 !!!
I think there are a few downsides to the large wedding.
One is do you really need the money for other things? What is the message or implication of spending so much - what we spend money on can be a good indicator of what we think is important. Are we being influenced/manipulated by the wedding industry? Are we putting too much emphasis on things? Are we bowing to pressure and expectations of friends, family, and society?
In a lot of cases, a better idea for a young couple would be to use the money for something in their new life together, like paying off a student loan. Money is one of the biggest stressors in a marriage, and young couples get so frustrated when they find that they want a child (and the Church suggests that having children is an important part of married life), but can’t afford to live in a bigger apartment in a nice neighborhood, or lose mom’s salary. The big wedding looks a lot less important then. As a new mom, if I discovered I had to put my young baby in care because I had a student loan, and I had blown a lot of money on a big wedding, I would be devastated.
Also, I think couples should consider what kind of funds they give to the Church and to charity. It’s hard to give a figure, but I like C.S. Lewis advice - if you can live at the same level as your peers who do not give, you are likely not giving enough. I think that can be a useful thing to consider when spending so much on what is essentially a totally unnecessary event. To be married actually only requires a few hundred dollars - it’s the rest that gets expensive.
In general, I think from a religious point of view, we would be better off to lose the big wedding. Even with the best intentions, people lose the impact of the sacrament and focus on the dinner or dancing or the dress. Why not have a retro wedding, and wear a nice new dress that will be good for later use, use seasonal flowers, and have punch and crustless sandwiches in the Church Hall after? Take a nice weekend or week in a nearby vacation spot, give a donation to an appropriate charity, and pay off some debt?
I think there are a few downsides to the large wedding.
One is do you really need the money for other things? What is the message or implication of spending so much - what we spend money on can be a good indicator of what we think is important. Are we being influenced/manipulated by the wedding industry? Are we putting too much emphasis on things? Are we bowing to pressure and expectations of friends, family, and society?
In a lot of cases, a better idea for a young couple would be to use the money for something in their new life together, like paying off a student loan. Money is one of the biggest stressors in a marriage, and young couples get so frustrated when they find that they want a child (and the Church suggests that having children is an important part of married life), but can’t afford to live in a bigger apartment in a nice neighborhood, or lose mom’s salary. The big wedding looks a lot less important then. As a new mom, if I discovered I had to put my young baby in care because I had a student loan, and I had blown a lot of money on a big wedding, I would be devastated.
Also, I think couples should consider what kind of funds they give to the Church and to charity. It’s hard to give a figure, but I like C.S. Lewis advice - if you can live at the same level as your peers who do not give, you are likely not giving enough. I think that can be a useful thing to consider when spending so much on what is essentially a totally unnecessary event. To be married actually only requires a few hundred dollars - it’s the rest that gets expensive.
In general, I think from a religious point of view, we would be better off to lose the big wedding. Even with the best intentions, people lose the impact of the sacrament and focus on the dinner or dancing or the dress. Why not have a retro wedding, and wear a nice new dress that will be good for later use, use seasonal flowers, and have punch and crustless sandwiches in the Church Hall after? Take a nice weekend or week in a nearby vacation spot, give a donation to an appropriate charity, and pay off some debt?
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celticsfan1983
Guest
Everyone who has replied has done a phenomenal job with their answers 
My mom owns a flower shop, and there are times she is so bewildered by someone who will spend gobs of money on flowers for a 15 minute ceremony.
I have to agree: If you can afford the nice wedding go for it. But if you are sacrificing your financial future, I’d steer clear. Oh, and keep the focus on the union and God. He’s kind of the reason why you’re at the altar to begin with
My mom owns a flower shop, and there are times she is so bewildered by someone who will spend gobs of money on flowers for a 15 minute ceremony.
I have to agree: If you can afford the nice wedding go for it. But if you are sacrificing your financial future, I’d steer clear. Oh, and keep the focus on the union and God. He’s kind of the reason why you’re at the altar to begin with
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NoWhereMan
Guest
One time a Priest friend of mine told me that these big expensive weddings were such a waste, I agree with him. The industry way overcharges for what You get. But, different strokes for different folks!
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CountrySinger
Guest
I’ve been to all my friends weddings, as a bridesmaid (ugh). Always a bridesmaid, never a bride has never been truer. If I ever got married (snort) I would be the biggest party ever! 
I can’t have kids and student loans are paid off, so no financial stressors there. So why not celebrate finding someone you want to spend your life with (or on the less sentimental note, or settling for the first guy who asks? <---- more realistic).
I can’t have kids and student loans are paid off, so no financial stressors there. So why not celebrate finding someone you want to spend your life with (or on the less sentimental note, or settling for the first guy who asks? <---- more realistic).
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puzzleannie
Guest
I think God is a lot more concerned about marriages than weddings.
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NoWhereMan
Guest
Good Answer!
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