Weekend fairs, festivals, etc. and fitting in Mass

[Secret_Square]

My husband, daughter and I have started a small business in which we sell self-published books. We attend various fairs, festivals and “cons” as vendors. Several times a year we participate in events that cover both Saturday and Sunday, and thereby create possible conflicts with attending Mass.

We have an event coming up in two weeks, for which the vendor hours are 10 am to 5 pm Saturday and Sunday. It is out of state and we will be staying in a motel. There is a Catholic parish in town with Mass at 5:30 Saturday and 8 and 10:30 Sunday. The first Sunday Mass looks doable, except that my husband will not go, and he will probably insist on going to our tent to set up around 8:30 or 9 at the latest. (It’s an outdoor event and we have to pack up our stuff each evening.) Last year, when we did this event for the first time, the weather was extremely hot and humid, we were all exhausted and stressed out (but did make lots of sales!) so I skipped Mass in order to avoid any further cause for stress. However, I don’t want to make that a regular habit if wer’re going to do this event every year.

I’m more concerned about an event we have coming up in October. It’s a fall festival that covers two successive weekends and we are supposed to be vending from 9 to 5 both Saturday and Sunday. It is in a small town with an irregular Mass schedule, and the next closest town with a Catholic parish is about 15 miles away. Long story short, making it to Mass during this festival would mean either shutting down early on Saturday or opening up late on Sunday, and my husband will not do either. So I and my daughter may end up missing Mass two weekends in a row because of it.

So my questions are: how far am I obligated to insist that my daughter and I, at least, go to Mass if DH would rather we don’t when the time comes? If my daughter, who is autistic and easily stressed out, does not want to go, can I let her skip, if it lessens everyone’s stress level? Finally, is it wrong of us to sign up for an event every year if I know it will interfere with my Mass attendance?

 

[alphomega]

CCC 242 states “You shall attend Mass on Sundays and on Holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor”. If you miss Mass without being dispensed by your Priest I believe you would be putting yourself in peril. This is a conversation you should be having with him.

Good luck.

 

[CatholicRaven]

My dd and I have run a booth at craft fairs, but we generally have more options (as well as friends to help out), so I haven’t run into this problem yet. I’d speak with my husband about it, respectfully letting him know that I’d really like to find a way to do both since they are both important to me, and asking him for ideas.

I might suggest a trade with him, with one of us closing up Saturday evening while the other is at Mass, and then that one opening up Sunday morning while the first is at Mass. Dd would probably go with whomever attends early Sunday Mass, so she could be there to help with closing up the booth (which always seems to take us more time than set-up). In my area, attendance at these craft events is usually lower in the early morning than near closing time, so we’d probably need her help more then, anyway (though it depends somewhat on the event).

If husband was not going to Mass, I might ask if he would go set up and get started on Sunday while dd & I attended Mass, and we’d take over for him after the early Sunday Mass so he could take a break (actually, in our case, we’d probably bring him something to eat, and then he’d go home while dd and I run the booth the rest of the day).

If husband wants to attend Mass but feels it’s a just reason to miss for these events (as it’s a source of income), I’d consider that. Though I’d probably ask my parish priest if I was concerned about it, since you do have a little time to plan ahead.

 

[1ke]

except that my husband will not go, and he will probably insist on going to our tent to set up around 8:30 or 9 at the latest.

You don’t really give context. Does your husband attend Mass regularly when you are home? Is he a Catholic?

making it to Mass during this festival would mean either shutting down early on Saturday or opening up late on Sunday, and my husband will not do either. So I and my daughter may end up missing Mass two weekends in a row because of it.

And why does what your husband does or doesn’t do mean YOU can’t go to Mass? You aren’t Siamese twins. Get a cab, drive two vehicles to these festivals, take the vehicle while your husband stays at the booth… whatever… I mean, I am not seeing why your husband’s decision to not go to mass means YOU can’t go to Mass?

So my questions are: how far am I obligated to insist that my daughter and I, at least, go to Mass

You are obligated to attend Mass.

Your daughter’s obligation, we can’t really comment on-- we don’t know her age, you’ve mentioned autism but not at what level she is operating on emotionally, socially, cognitively, etc.

if DH would rather we don’t when the time comes?

Again, I don’t really understand this. He would “rather” you not go. So, the discussion in my house would go thus:

If you want to do this as a family, we will make time to go to Mass together during the festivals, I will go to Mass while you man the booth, or we will just have to stop doing this as a family. I’m not missing mass for this when I can very well go.

If my daughter, who is autistic and easily stressed out, does not want to go, can I let her skip,

That’s a question for your pastor. We don’t know anything about your daughter.

Finally, is it wrong of us to sign up for an event every year if I know it will interfere with my Mass attendance?

There isn’t a single answer for this.

This is not your livelihood, right? This is a hobby?

Mass is readily available-- not a hundred miles away or something-- so I would say that yes you have an obligation to try to go to Mass. I would say you do have an obligation, as opposed to when you CANNOT go to mass because you are sick, one is not available, etc.

You can certainly ask your pastor for a dispensation from attending Mass before you go to the weekend event. He can guide you on whether this is reasonable in your circumstance.

 

[Neofight]

Well, if you’re looking for good old fashioned Catholic guilt, you seemed to have stumbled into the right room!

Disregard all you’ve heard here…You know the “rules”, and don’t need to be beaten over the head by anyone.

Talk to you your priest, and/or a spiritual advisor if you have one.

God bless you.

 

[Rosebud77]

**

Well, if you’re looking for good old fashioned Catholic guilt, you seemed to have stumbled into the right room!

Disregard all you’ve heard here…You know the “rules”, and don’t need to be beaten over the head by anyone.

Talk to you your priest, and/or a spiritual advisor if you have one.

God bless you.**

Isn;t that the truth!! Saddened by some of the answers.

OP; this is your work and I know from years of trading that it is hard work and unusual problems.

You care enough and are responsible enough to be facing the real issues; great!

Your situation is no different from eg nurses, drs,and shift workers whose work means they sometimes cannnot get to Mass at a weekend, and for you this is a rare occurrence.

Been there.done that and missed Mass sometimes when having to travel to a distant venue means it is not possible

I have a regular annual three day event, late October. And I know I will not make it to Mass. That event is a real earner for our work for abandoned babies and the homeless as yours is for your family to live I told someone once who criticised that I am sure Jesus would not want me to feast while others starved.

All needs a sense of proportion. There is a huge huge difference between missing mass through being lazy and not caring and what you are thinking. A HUGE difference.

But this is an issue for so many who work weekends at unsocial hours; there are many threads on this and some compassionate replies.

pm if you want to and blessings and peace

 

[Reuben_J]

My husband, daughter and I have started a small business in which we sell self-published books. We attend various fairs, festivals and “cons” as vendors. Several times a year we participate in events that cover both Saturday and Sunday, and thereby create possible conflicts with attending Mass.

We have an event coming up in two weeks, for which the vendor hours are 10 am to 5 pm Saturday and Sunday. It is out of state and we will be staying in a motel. There is a Catholic parish in town with Mass at 5:30 Saturday and 8 and 10:30 Sunday. The first Sunday Mass looks doable, except that my husband will not go, and he will probably insist on going to our tent to set up around 8:30 or 9 at the latest. (It’s an outdoor event and we have to pack up our stuff each evening.) Last year, when we did this event for the first time, the weather was extremely hot and humid, we were all exhausted and stressed out (but did make lots of sales!) so I skipped Mass in order to avoid any further cause for stress. However, I don’t want to make that a regular habit if wer’re going to do this event every year.

I’m more concerned about an event we have coming up in October. It’s a fall festival that covers two successive weekends and we are supposed to be vending from 9 to 5 both Saturday and Sunday. It is in a small town with an irregular Mass schedule, and the next closest town with a Catholic parish is about 15 miles away. Long story short, making it to Mass during this festival would mean either shutting down early on Saturday or opening up late on Sunday, and my husband will not do either. So I and my daughter may end up missing Mass two weekends in a row because of it.

So my questions are: how far am I obligated to insist that my daughter and I, at least, go to Mass if DH would rather we don’t when the time comes? If my daughter, who is autistic and easily stressed out, does not want to go, can I let her skip, if it lessens everyone’s stress level? Finally, is it wrong of us to sign up for an event every year if I know it will interfere with my Mass attendance?

I would say it is not wrong for you to sign up for the event which is a good source of income for your business. You need to grab the opportunity as your business depends on it. You are a conscious Catholic and the fact that you post here about your work/life and want to do the right thing, reflects that. Remember that the Lord wants mercy, not sacrifice. You are not attending mass for a good reason.

You can always confess missing the mass just for assurance, if that makes you feel better. But remember that we can miss mass with good reasons. And only you know that reason. We do not live your life. By putting importance in not missing it, God will surely bless you for it.

And I agree that there are advice here that bothers on legalism. They miss out on the spirit of the Sacraments and the love of God.

I would not counsel people very strongly based on legalism. It is a different matter if we talk exclusively on theory but with real people in real life, well, these are people, it has to be seen with compassion because God is a compassionate God.

 

[Rosebud77]

I would say it is not wrong for you to sign up for the event which is a good source of income for your business. You need to grab the opportunity as your business depends on it. You are a conscious Catholic and the fact that you post here about your work/life and want to do the right thing, reflects that. Remember that the Lord wants mercy, not sacrifice. You are not attending mass for a good reason.

You can always confess missing the mass just for assurance, if that makes you feel better. But remember that we can miss mass with good reasons. And only you know that reason. We do not live your life. By putting importance in not missing it, God will surely bless you for it.

And I agree that there are advice here that bothers on legalism. They miss out on the spirit of the Sacraments and the love of God.

I would not counsel people very strongly based on legalism. It is a different matter if we talk exclusively on theory but with real people in real life, well, these are people, it has to be seen with compassion because God is a compassionate God.

 

[Isca]

I’ve had dispensation to miss Mass more than once from priests, simply because we would be on various cruise holidays at the time. I think attending an important event for your family business is more worthy than any holiday. You have done your best to try to work out a solution. God knows what’s in your heart.

Just speak to your priest about it in advance, I’m sure you’ll get an understanding response from him. Incidentally, when I mentioned to a cradle Catholic friend that the priest had given me dispensation to miss Mass, she was astonished. She said she would never think of asking - if she couldn’t go, she couldn’t go and that was it.

 

[Rosebud77]

I’ve had dispensation to miss Mass more than once from priests, simply because we would be on various cruise holidays at the time. I think attending an important event for your family business is more worthy than any holiday. You have done your best to try to work out a solution. God knows what’s in your heart.

Just speak to your priest about it in advance, I’m sure you’ll get an understanding response from him. Incidentally, when I mentioned to a cradle Catholic friend that the priest had given me dispensation to miss Mass, she was astonished. She said she would never think of asking - if she couldn’t go, she couldn’t go and that was it.

---

I agree with her totally on that. And do the same

 

[LiamQ]

So my questions are: how far am I obligated to insist that my daughter and I, at least, go to Mass if DH would rather we don’t when the time comes? If my daughter, who is autistic and easily stressed out, does not want to go, can I let her skip, if it lessens everyone’s stress level? Finally, is it wrong of us to sign up for an event every year if I know it will interfere with my Mass attendance?

In order to answer those questions, I think you need to ask yourself the following: am I asking these things because I want to seek the way to please God the most for His greater glory, or am I just trying to avoid going to Holy Mass because of mundane reasons of convenience, to earn some money and to have some fun, all while getting myself off the hook and not having any sort of guilty feelings afterwards?

Obviously, we can’t decide that for you, but I think answering that question is your first priority.

Also, someone mentioned legalism.

I define legalism like the Catholic Encyclopedia does with reference to the Judaism of Christ’s day, namely a “mere[ly] external compliance with ritual observances … .” It is not legalism to consider one’s obligation to attend Holy Mass on Sunday to in fact be quite serious, and that one should have equallt serious and grave reasons, as determined by rightly ordered prudence, in order to avoid going. That’s just basic Catholicism.

We can be far too guilty these days of thinking that God’s love and His mercy imply that He has a low standard for us, and that He is in fact quite indifferent if we are pleased at following Him and loving Him in the least and most comfortable way we can muster—so long as those things don’t interfere with loving ourselves and pleasure—if only we are “trying” in some sort of way. I think that view is erroneous, and I think it’s a symptom of our pleasure-seeking society moreso than it is a result of solid theology.

God desires all of us to be Saints. He desires us to put Him first above absolutely everything else in this world, which is so often our real god. He wants that for us, and many of us are completely at ease with mediocrity, including myself.

If we have that attitude, let’s stop encouraging it in others, hm? Let’s cooperate with His grace to root it out, rather than continuing to spread it amongst other Catholics.

 

[buc_fan33]

I’m going to take a rather different approach to this question, and I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way. Obviously, I don’t have all the relevant facts. For instance…

1. Is this your and your family’s primary source of income?
2. Is this a NEEDED source of income (even if it is a secondary source)?
3. Are there any alternatives available to you? For instance, other Masses offered close by?
4. Is there any particular reason why the 8:00 Mass won’t work? You said your husband would like to go set up at 9:00 at the latest. But, in my experience, Mass rarely takes more than an hour (especially the first Mass of the day). But, let’s say that it took exactly an hour…even accounting for drive time, let’s say you arrive to set up at 9:15. That still leaves you 45 minutes before the opening of the event. Let’s say you don’t get FULLY set up until 10:30. How much business are we talking about losing?

OK…as I said, I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way. Please know it’s only indirectly directed at you. I think we are all too quick to find reasons to not make it to Mass. For those who don’t know, I’m a priest, and I’ll never forget once in seminary, I was speaking with my spiritual director. A few friends and I had been in the habit of leaving town early on Saturday (our day off) to go on some excursions and beat traffic. This meant that we missed daily Mass on Saturday. He just looked at me, and very nonchalantly, said, “Oh, you mean you love something more than the Eucharist.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. As it turned out, a priest on our staff was an early riser himself, and was more than willing to offer Mass for us at 5:00 A.M. on Saturday. We were still able to get to Mass and enjoy the entirety of our day.

So, ask yourself…do you love something more than the Eucharist? I don’t say this to brag about myself (I do say it to brag about my parents though). In all my years, my family has missed Sunday Mass once, and that was only because the time printed in the bulletin was different from the time when Mass was actually celebrated. When we traveled, the very first place my parents went, every single time, was the local Catholic Church to find a bulletin and figure out when we were going to get Mass in. I have no doubt that the seeds of my vocation were planted by my parents when they insisted that the first priority was ALWAYS Sunday Mass.

Obviously, sometimes things come up. People get sick. There’s no priest. Mass was at a different time than what was in the bulletin. There are a myriad of reasons. Is what you present here one of them? Perhaps. I can’t make that call. But think of this story from Scripture. Remember when Christ cured the Gerasene demoniac? He sent the demons into the swine. The pigs all ran down a hill and died. On one level, there is the obvious message that Christ is the Divine Physician and heals us, even of things like demonic possession. But, there is a deeper meaning. The Israelite people were forbidden from owning swine in the first place. Pigs were unclean. The deeper message of the story is that they had prioritized money above even the covenant.

Part of the covenant means keeping holy the Sabbath day. For us as Catholics, that means Sunday Mass…every Sunday…without exceptions (within reason). Again, is this a reasonable exception? You need to be the judge of that. I would just caution you to be sure you are not prioritizing money over the Eucharist. Remember, God is never outdone in generosity.

 

[Rosebud77]

I’m going to take a rather different approach to this question, and I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way. Obviously, I don’t have all the relevant facts. For instance…

1. Is this your and your family’s primary source of income?
2. Is this a NEEDED source of income (even if it is a secondary source)?
3. Are there any alternatives available to you? For instance, other Masses offered close by?
4. Is there any particular reason why the 8:00 Mass won’t work? You said your husband would like to go set up at 9:00 at the latest. But, in my experience, Mass rarely takes more than an hour (especially the first Mass of the day). But, let’s say that it took exactly an hour…even accounting for drive time, let’s say you arrive to set up at 9:15. That still leaves you 45 minutes before the opening of the event. Let’s say you don’t get FULLY set up until 10:30. How much business are we talking about losing?

OK…as I said, I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way. Please know it’s only indirectly directed at you. I think we are all too quick to find reasons to not make it to Mass. For those who don’t know, I’m a priest, and I’ll never forget once in seminary, I was speaking with my spiritual director. A few friends and I had been in the habit of leaving town early on Saturday (our day off) to go on some excursions and beat traffic. This meant that we missed daily Mass on Saturday. He just looked at me, and very nonchalantly, said, “Oh, you mean you love something more than the Eucharist.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. As it turned out, a priest on our staff was an early riser himself, and was more than willing to offer Mass for us at 5:00 A.M. on Saturday. We were still able to get to Mass and enjoy the entirety of our day.

So, ask yourself…do you love something more than the Eucharist? I don’t say this to brag about myself (I do say it to brag about my parents though). In all my years, my family has missed Sunday Mass once, and that was only because the time printed in the bulletin was different from the time when Mass was actually celebrated. When we traveled, the very first place my parents went, every single time, was the local Catholic Church to find a bulletin and figure out when we were going to get Mass in. I have no doubt that the seeds of my vocation were planted by my parents when they insisted that the first priority was ALWAYS Sunday Mass.

Obviously, sometimes things come up. People get sick. There’s no priest. Mass was at a different time than what was in the bulletin. There are a myriad of reasons. Is what you present here one of them? Perhaps. I can’t make that call. But think of this story from Scripture. Remember when Christ cured the Gerasene demoniac? He sent the demons into the swine. The pigs all ran down a hill and died. On one level, there is the obvious message that Christ is the Divine Physician and heals us, even of things like demonic possession. But, there is a deeper meaning. The Israelite people were forbidden from owning swine in the first place. Pigs were unclean. The deeper message of the story is that they had prioritized money above even the covenant.

Part of the covenant means keeping holy the Sabbath day. For us as Catholics, that means Sunday Mass…every Sunday…without exceptions (within reason). Again, is this a reasonable exception? You need to be the judge of that.

I would just caution you to be sure you are not prioritizing money over the Eucharist.

This last sentence makes me sad. We all need money to live. Period, We all need to work to earn money. I also trade at craft fairs and if they are at some distance, given that I live deep rural, then it becomes impossible to attend mass. I trade to “feed the hungry.”

As does the OP to support her family.

I had a friendly discussion with the PP once at a fair; he was off across the road to mass and wanted that i join him. I could not leave the stall unattended,. He understood.

While there are doubtless some who miss mass too easily the OP is certainly not one such.
Do you say this also, and I speak in deep respect, Father, to shift workers in eg medicine or fire fighters? Should they not work?

 

[Secret_Square]

Just to clarify some things, this is not a main source of income for us, it’s more of a hobby. The difficulty with going to Mass is that my husband refuses to attend – he’s been a lapsed Catholic for about 15 years now — and he sees my insistence on attending Mass in these circumstances as me placing an extra “burden” on us. It’s mainly a question of balancing the obligation to attend Mass against the risk of starting the day with an argument and putting everyone in a bad mood when we have to face the public. If he were in full agreement with me and supportive of making Mass a priority, this would’nt be a problem.

 

[buc_fan33]

buc_fan33;14126084:

This last sentence makes me sad. We all need money to live. Period, We all need to work to earn money. I also trade at craft fairs and if they are at some distance, given that I live deep rural, then it becomes impossible to attend mass. I trade to “feed the hungry.”

As does the OP to support her family.

I had a friendly discussion with the PP once at a fair; he was off across the road to mass and wanted that i join him. I could not leave the stall unattended,. He understood.

While there are doubtless some who miss mass too easily the OP is certainly not one such.
Do you say this also, and I speak in deep respect, Father, to shift workers in eg medicine or fire fighters? Should they not work?

Hi. Thanks for your response. Let me preface this by saying that EVERYTHING I’m going to write in this response will be of a generic nature. Nothing refers to the OP either directly or indirectly.

First, I’m not sure what the PP is. Parish priest? If you could clarify that, it would be helpful.

Second, let me just address your overarching point…namely, that sometimes work necessitates missing Sunday Mass. I will grant that sometimes this is the case. I would certainly say it is the case for emergency personnel whose service to the community is needed on Sunday. People don’t stop getting sick, having car accidents, etcetera simply because it is Sunday. So, certainly, there will be times when police officers, fire fighters, EMTs, doctors, nurses, etc. will need to work on Sunday.

However, even in these cases, I’ve had police officers come to Mass during their lunch break. If they get a call in the middle of Mass, they sneak out the back door. In a previous parish assignment, the fire chief was a faithful parishioner. He was at Mass every Sunday and had a pager on him. He would, on occasion, also have to leave in the middle of Mass. I’ve had a police officer who would drive 60 miles round trip after his shift ended to attend an evening Mass in the nearest city.

I’ve known plenty of factory workers who explain to their supervisors that they would like to go to Mass and if possible, would like to take their lunch hour at a time when Mass was offered. I’ve never heard of someone making this request being refused. (I’m in the United States…it may be different elsewhere, I’ll grant you.)

Speaking personally, while in high school and college, I worked at a job that had me working on Sundays. Likewise, I would always inform my supervisor that I needed to get to Mass and Mass times were 9:00, 10:30, and 12:00 let’s say. Not one single time was I ever refused my request. Not once. Now, granted, sometimes it meant going to the Spanish Mass at the parish, and yeah, I didn’t understand a word, but it was still Mass. My parents frequently found themselves in the same boat. Again, never once missed Mass.

I don’t say this to put either my parents or myself on a pedestal. Believe me…they, and I, have plenty of faults.

Again, this isn’t referring to the OP (or you for that matter) either directly or indirectly. It’s referring to what I see as a growing issue in the Church of people using work to justify missing Mass. Like I said above, sometimes this is the case. I readily acknowledge that. But, in my pastoral experience, often times people are using this as a convenient excuse while still having plenty of time to get to soccer, basketball, football, volleyball, baseball, Boy Scouts, whatever.

Part of my assignment is high school ministry, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had high schoolers tell me that they don’t go to Mass because they have to work on the weekend. It’s funny…I’ve NEVER had one of them tell me that they had to miss their football game because they had to work.

I suppose more could be said, but hopefully, this will suffice for now. I’d be more than happy to engage you in a larger discussion around this very key element of our faith.

Blessings to you!

 

[Rosebud77]

Rosebud77;14126208:

Hi. Thanks for your response. Let me preface this by saying that EVERYTHING I’m going to write in this response will be of a generic nature. Nothing refers to the OP either directly or indirectly.

First, I’m not sure what the PP is. Parish priest? If you could clarify that, it would be helpful.

Second, let me just address your overarching point…namely, that sometimes work necessitates missing Sunday Mass. I will grant that sometimes this is the case. I would certainly say it is the case for emergency personnel whose service to the community is needed on Sunday. People don’t stop getting sick, having car accidents, etcetera simply because it is Sunday. So, certainly, there will be times when police officers, fire fighters, EMTs, doctors, nurses, etc. will need to work on Sunday.

However, even in these cases, I’ve had police officers come to Mass during their lunch break. If they get a call in the middle of Mass, they sneak out the back door. In a previous parish assignment, the fire chief was a faithful parishioner. He was at Mass every Sunday and had a pager on him. He would, on occasion, also have to leave in the middle of Mass. I’ve had a police officer who would drive 60 miles round trip after his shift ended to attend an evening Mass in the nearest city.

I’ve known plenty of factory workers who explain to their supervisors that they would like to go to Mass and if possible, would like to take their lunch hour at a time when Mass was offered. I’ve never heard of someone making this request being refused. (I’m in the United States…it may be different elsewhere, I’ll grant you.)

Speaking personally, while in high school and college, I worked at a job that had me working on Sundays. Likewise, I would always inform my supervisor that I needed to get to Mass and Mass times were 9:00, 10:30, and 12:00 let’s say. Not one single time was I ever refused my request. Not once. Now, granted, sometimes it meant going to the Spanish Mass at the parish, and yeah, I didn’t understand a word, but it was still Mass. My parents frequently found themselves in the same boat. Again, never once missed Mass.

I don’t say this to put either my parents or myself on a pedestal. Believe me…they, and I, have plenty of faults.

Again, this isn’t referring to the OP (or you for that matter) either directly or indirectly. It’s referring to what I see as a growing issue in the Church of people using work to justify missing Mass. Like I said above, sometimes this is the case. I readily acknowledge that. But, in my pastoral experience, often times people are using this as a convenient excuse while still having plenty of time to get to soccer, basketball, football, volleyball, baseball, Boy Scouts, whatever.

Part of my assignment is high school ministry, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had high schoolers tell me that they don’t go to Mass because they have to work on the weekend. It’s funny…I’ve NEVER had one of them tell me that they had to miss their football game because they had to work.

I suppose more could be said, but hopefully, this will suffice for now. I’d be more than happy to engage you in a larger discussion around this very key element of our faith.

Blessings to you!

I hear you but I do not fully agree., Father! But you know that by now! Yes PP is parish priest… I had not realised it was an Irishism , sorry !

Difference is between making an excuse and a sincere situation and it seems as if you prefer to see only the former? Which is surely judging and being unfair? Your penultimate para says it all does it not?

I do not go to Mass in person any more. WIth a severely damaged immune system it is a real danger, After one epsiode of six week in bed very ill after braving it? My advisers made it an obedience matter . I also have a serious systemic illness which makes getting there etc a major trauma and an endurance test that leaves me drained for days . I am heading for 80 and honestly feel agreeing with my directors that this is unwise . BUT such was the guilt put upon me… has taken me many months to shed it I catch mass live on the internet etc.

You cannot compare this or the OPs situation with school children !

Each case is different; I am not one for totally rigid rules, And if I manage the craft fair later this year ( and it will be my last as I am retiring totally from this active work) I will wish the mass goers well.

I had years living where it was not possible to get to mass; small island. And there are many such in remote places. Jesus is my Life, my Lord, my all wherever I am. Mostly abed these days !! Prayer table at the bottom of my bed…

be blessed in all you do Father, but please… a little mercy and kindness for those in difficult situations, The OP is a conscientious Catholic agonising over this, We are not all “heroes”… far from it… well we are but in different ways., “IN thy wrath remember mercy?”

 

[exnihilo]

**
Your situation is no different from eg nurses, drs,and shift workers whose work means they sometimes cannnot get to Mass at a weekend, and for you this is a rare occurrence.
**

There is certainly essential work that can and should be done on Sunday’s. But not all work is that kind of work. Health care, utility, lodging and restaurants would certainly seem to me to be more of the essential kind of work. But lots of people working aren’t engaged in this kind of work. I’m old enough to remember when our local grocery store was closed on Sundays. We survived. We didn’t starve and we still had work. Our modern society’s drive to have everything available at all times is ultimately dehumanizing and leads us away from God. We should do all that we can to oppose that.

 

[Secret_Square]

Also to clarify, our daughter is a young adult but because she is autistic, talks and acts more like a grade school age child would. She comes with us to the events mainly because we have no other caregiver for her. She helps us out to some extent with setting up and taking down the tent but generally just sits quietly most of the time. If she gets too tired or stressed out, however, she may act out a bit – another reason why starting off the day with a argument about going to Mass may ruin the entire day.

 

[Rosebud77]

There is certainly essential work that can and should be done on Sunday’s. But not all work is that kind of work. Health care, utility, lodging and restaurants would certainly seem to me to be more of the essential kind of work. But lots of people working aren’t engaged in this kind of work. I’m old enough to remember when our local grocery store was closed on Sundays. We survived. We didn’t starve and we still had work. Our modern society’s drive to have everything available at all times is ultimately dehumanizing and leads us away from God. We should do all that we can to oppose that.

A custom here for mass goers to nip into the shop for something they have forgotten on their way home… So many have no belief; up to us to keep Sunday holy each as we believe. I hate shopping on Sunday and have only ever done it in dire need eg when the weather has been too bad to be out.

Each to his holiness.And by example

 

[buc_fan33]

I hear you but I do not fully agree., Father! But you know that by now! Yes PP is parish priest… I had not realised it was an Irishism , sorry !

Thanks for the clarification. You’re from Ireland? Wonderful! Beautiful land.

Difference is between making an excuse and a sincere situation and it seems as if you prefer to see only the former? Which is surely judging and being unfair? Your penultimate para says it all does it not?

With respect, madam, I don’t think you’re being fair here. I think I’ve said a number of times that there are sincere situations. But, to be clear, I’ll say it again…yes, there are sincere situations where one has no obligation to attend Sunday Mass. These certainly include but are not limited to: absence of a priest (obviously, you can’t go to Mass if there is no Mass), illness, caring for a sick child/parent, advanced age, inclement weather, and yes, needed work.

I would say that my penultimate paragraph is not being judgmental, but rather recognizing the reality for what it is.

I do not go to Mass in person any more. WIth a severely damaged immune system it is a real danger, After one epsiode of six week in bed very ill after braving it? My advisers made it an obedience matter . I also have a serious systemic illness which makes getting there etc a major trauma and an endurance test that leaves me drained for days . I am heading for 80 and honestly feel agreeing with my directors that this is unwise . BUT such was the guilt put upon me… has taken me many months to shed it I catch mass live on the internet etc.

Certainly your situation falls under what I outlined above…illness. My dear, you have no need to feel guilty about not attending Mass in your situation! I will offer a prayer for your health today.

Each case is different; I am not one for totally rigid rules, And if I manage the craft fair later this year ( and it will be my last as I am retiring totally from this active work) I will wish the mass goers well.

I think this depends on what you mean by “rigid rules.” Because, at one level, I agree with you. We ought not be legalists. Jesus doesn’t want this. On the other hand, if we think the moral law is merely a set of guidelines that can be dispensed with whenever we feel like it, we’re making a mistake in the other direction.

With respect to Mass, I really wish we would do away with the language of “Sunday Obligation” and “Holy Day of Obligation.” “Obligation” has a very negative connotation, implying somehow that Mass is a burden. Far from it! Mass is a joy and if we have the proper disposition should be the highlight of our week! In an ideal world, we wouldn’t be at Mass out of any obligation, but rather because we love Jesus and we want to give Him the opportunity to love us in return.

I had years living where it was not possible to get to mass; small island. And there are many such in remote places. Jesus is my Life, my Lord, my all wherever I am. Mostly abed these days !! Prayer table at the bottom of my bed…

I have no doubt about this. And please, don’t take anything I’ve said to imply in any way whatsoever that you do not deeply love our Lord. I have no doubt that you do, and likewise the OP. The fact that she asked the question in the first place implies that!

be blessed in all you do Father, but please… a little mercy and kindness for those in difficult situations, The OP is a conscientious Catholic agonising over this, We are not all “heroes”… far from it… well we are but in different ways., “IN thy wrath remember mercy?”

Thank you, madam, for your concern. I sincerely hope that I haven’t given the impression that I’m either not merciful or unkind!

Blessings to you!