Weight Struggles - Maybe God's path for me is to NOT be thin?

[lola5555]

Hmm, okay, you are not fat at all. God has made you a perfect size. I’m 5’3", too. I’ve weighed 130 lbs and 105 lbs and been pretty healthy at both weights (and in between).

There will always be people who are bigger and smaller than you. Their ideal weight is not your ideal weight. I have a tiny little Asian frame…when I gain weight it’s chub, not my natural healthy weight. Most people have larger frames than me and if they weighed what I weight, they’d be ill and look it. Do not compare yourself with others about size or things in general. It’s a recipe for sadness and disaster. Let them be their best selves and you go be your best self.

As far as any guy saying something so stupid, that should cure you of caring about his opinion. He’s immature and needs to grow up. Do not give him a second thought. Let me offer you my mother’s advice- A man should think you are the best thing since sliced bread. It’s true. Do not bother harboring feelings for some guy who doesn’t think you are fabulous. I’ve always said the cure to a crush is realize the other person doesn’t feel the same way.

It’s sounds like you are young. If so, please realize that people your own age will sometimes say dumb things that they will later regret. Don’t hang onto those dumb things.

 

[Chayla]

Thanks for all of your responses.

I weigh 126 pounds and I’m 5’3’’. I feel like I’m the fattest person around because a girl told me that she’s 5’3’’ and 106 pounds and another girl told me she was 5’5’’ and 110 pounds. Also, a guy that I liked as more than a friend stopped talking to me because he thought I was too fat.

Yes, I do follow a vegetarian diet and by “normal portion” I mean the same that others eat. I never use sugar in my cooking and haven’t had fast food or anything but water for years.

I use the fitness pal forums.

Your body mass index (BMI) is normal.

For more on BMI, please check out the link:

caloriecontrol.org/healthy-weight-tool-kit/body-mass-index-calculator

 

[Linusthe2nd]

Thanks for all of your responses.

I weigh 126 pounds and I’m 5’3’’. I feel like I’m the fattest person around because a girl told me that she’s 5’3’’ and 106 pounds and another girl told me she was 5’5’’ and 110 pounds. Also, a guy that I liked as more than a friend stopped talking to me because he thought I was too fat.

Yes, I do follow a vegetarian diet and by “normal portion” I mean the same that others eat. I never use sugar in my cooking and haven’t had fast food or anything but water for years.

I use the fitness pal forums.

Phewee! You are not fat! You are just fine, forget what those idiots are telling you. That guy is an idiot. I am 5 ’ 8 " and I weigh 190 and I am not fat, just around the middle a little. So what? Just watch your sugar intake, use Stevia or honey instead of sugar and stay away from alcohol, white bread ( home made whole wheat or rye is better ) and soft drinks, read labels for hidden sucross etc, eat lean meat. I woudln’t advise a vegetarian diet because that may indeed make you crave stuff that would be fattening. Get regular exercise but don’t go nuts. And stop worring, and stay away from people who are always picking at you, most people are absolute morans anyway, so why worry about what they think about anything?

I had an aunt who was always slimming and you know what? She contracted T.B. at 18 and died when she was 19. But my Mom, a year younger, always ate like a horse - and she did not contract T.B and she lived to 87 and died from gall bladder complications and a botched .operation.

Linus2nd.

 

[Writer2014]

Also, I feel fat because I am thinking about the woman at Dior who was rude to me yesterday. I told her that I wanted to try on eye shadow and asked if I could use one of the brushes. She told me in a mean voice “that’s eye shadow, not a brush.” Well, obviously. Then she finally let me try it on with a stick but the whole time she was talking in a rude way. I explained to her that I can’t see what it’s supposed to look like, so next time I will bring my makeup brush and try it on. She asked me in an angry voice if I wanted to buy it and I said no, I’m going to bring my brush next time. She told me that next time she will charge me to try makeup on, even though it’s free to try on makeup.

 

[mrsjennymulhall]

Also, I feel fat because I am thinking about the woman at Dior who was rude to me yesterday. I told her that I wanted to try on eye shadow and asked if I could use one of the brushes. She told me in a mean voice “that’s eye shadow, not a brush.” Well, obviously. Then she finally let me try it on with a stick but the whole time she was talking in a rude way. I explained to her that I can’t see what it’s supposed to look like, so next time I will bring my makeup brush and try it on. She asked me in an angry voice if I wanted to buy it and I said no, I’m going to bring my brush next time. She told me that next time she will charge me to try makeup on, even though it’s free to try on makeup.

Good Grief!!! Please, please, please, PLEASE tell me you didn’t just leave the store? At the very least, please tell me you complained on their Facebook page for all to see??

When faced with rudeness like this in the future, smile politely, apologise for taking up their time and ask for their name. Then get onto FB and complain. They’ll hurry to respond to FB complaints because they are out there in public for other customers (and potential customers) to see.

You poor thing! Don’t let that hard-nosed missy make you doubt yourself. She was just having a horrible day and took it out on you. Never be minding. x

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Thanks for all of your responses.

I weigh 126 pounds and I’m 5’3’’. I feel like I’m the fattest person around because a girl told me that she’s 5’3’’ and 106 pounds and another girl told me she was 5’5’’ and 110 pounds. Also, a guy that I liked as more than a friend stopped talking to me because he thought I was too fat.

Yes, I do follow a vegetarian diet and by “normal portion” I mean the same that others eat. I never use sugar in my cooking and haven’t had fast food or anything but water for years.

I use the fitness pal forums.

Three points.

First, 5’3" and 126 pounds is not fat. At all. I know this because I am 5’2" and have dieted a lot, and am very familiar with the weight charts. I don’t know how old you are, but for an adult, according to pretty much all the charts out there, 106 pounds is underweight for a person who is 5’3", and 110 is underweight for 5’5. Whether those girls are healthy or not is between them and their doctors, and whether they are being truthful about their weights wouldn’t be certain unless you watched them weigh themselves, but please don’t compare yourself to weights that are definitely not considered within the normal range of weights. If you look up BMI charts online, you’ll see that you have to be much heavier to be considered overweight, and even more to be considered fat (obese would be the correct term). Now, every person is built differently, and those BMI charts are not perfect. Many people are very healthy and weigh more than what the BMI chart says they should weigh. I don’t know if the same is true about people who weigh less. If you aren’t sure what your ideal weight ought to be, talk to your doctor - they will help you get a good perspective on it.

Second, it is very possible that with all of the extra exercise that you are doing, that you are building muscle, which weighs more than fat. So you could very well be leaner than before, but not lighter, kwim? Again, whether you should even be losing fat is a question for your doctor. Women need a certain amount of fat to be healthy, and developing teens need not to be underweight either.

Third, God wants you to be healthy and to take care of your body. I don’t think God wants people to be morbidly obese or dangerously thin, but you are neither of those things. In general, exercise is good for you, but obsessive exercise can be dangerous for your body, mind, and soul. Having good eating habits is one thing - focusing too much on being “perfect” or on not being thin enough, can also be dangerous for the body, mind, or soul. The questions I would encourage you to pray about are - am I taking good care of my body in the way I am exercising and eating? Am I respecting it as a temple of the Holy Spirit? Am I exercising obsessively, or focusing too much on my weight? Am I putting too much importance on being “perfectly thin” - am I being vain? Am I pushing my body TOO hard to lose weight (which is another way of not respecting your temple of the Holy Spirit), when it is already fine the way it is? Am I concerned with being like those around me, or being the person God wants me to be?

 

[Vim71]

Also, a guy that I liked as more than a friend stopped talking to me because he thought I was too fat.

Then he’s not a real friend. A real friend wouldn’t stop talking to you over something like that. Surround yourself with people who do treat you as a human being and with respect, and not a number of scale.

 

[Writer2014]

Thanks for the encouraging comments…but I still think it is quite possible that God has called me to be fat. Yesterday night I only slept 4 hours, falling asleep at almost 7 am, felt like a zombie all day but had to do the Insanity workout because I don’t want to be fat and if I miss a day I’ll be fat. Sweating like a pig haha. I still have to do the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels level 2 soon. I wish I could just sleep but it’s not like I’ll fall asleep anyways. I have struggled with falling asleep at night ever since being molested less than 3 weeks ago and last night thinking about how the woman at Dior thought I was fat and worthless prevented me from sleeping as well. I called the customer service at the mall but she said it was impossible that the woman had been rude to me because all their employees are friendly. Guess she could tell I was fat even over the phone, which in her mind, makes me a liar. I don’t know what to do. Is there a Catholic or a Christian hotline that one can call to talk to? I don’t feel comfortable telling people that I know.

 

[Cat]

OP, your issue isn’t weight. Your issue is self-esteem. You hate your body and you are lacking confidence about other aspects of life as well.

Even if you weighed 95 pounds, you would still doubt your worth.

I suggest counselling to help you build up your self-esteem and learn to love yourself. A good counselor will help you to change your thought patterns so that you don’t constantly judge yourself lacking.

And enough with the exercise. Pick a good workout routine, do it for an hour each day, or less if you can, and do other things with your life rather than obsessing about your body. If you have time to workout, then you have time to get involved with your church and community in various volunteer projects. Working with these will help raise your self-esteem and actually help you to focus less on yourself and more on God and other people.

Good luck to you.

 

[PaulinVA]

Writer, perhaps you could go to Catholic Charities in your area and see a counselor about body image, as Cat said.

You are weight appropriate for your height. You are not even approaching being overweight, much less “fat”, whatever that is.

God does not “call” us to a certain health. We are biological beings, and each of us has a certain potential. Some of get sick, some of us are healthy; some of us have chronic problems, some don’t. It’s just the human condition, not a calling from God.

Be happy with yourself. God loves you.

 

[Kamaduck]

Thanks for the encouraging comments…but I still think it is quite possible that God has called me to be fat. Yesterday night I only slept 4 hours, falling asleep at almost 7 am, felt like a zombie all day but had to do the Insanity workout because I don’t want to be fat and if I miss a day I’ll be fat. Sweating like a pig haha. I still have to do the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels level 2 soon. I wish I could just sleep but it’s not like I’ll fall asleep anyways. I have struggled with falling asleep at night ever since being molested less than 3 weeks ago and last night thinking about how the woman at Dior thought I was fat and worthless prevented me from sleeping as well. I called the customer service at the mall but she said it was impossible that the woman had been rude to me because all their employees are friendly. Guess she could tell I was fat even over the phone, which in her mind, makes me a liar. I don’t know what to do. Is there a Catholic or a Christian hotline that one can call to talk to? I don’t feel comfortable telling people that I know.

Woah woah woah woah woah.

You are not fat. 0% of your problems are due to being fat. None of them. Nobody is mean to you because of that, because you are NOT fat. People are mean to you for their own reasons, which may have little to do with you.

You are already a healthy weight. This is a FACT. You are hurting yourself by exercising excessively, and if you keep this up, you will become very UNhealthy.

Please seek help before your health deteriorates. Any doctor will tell you that you are healthy weight. And please seek help for your sleeping habits, too, and counseling if you cannot sleep because you were molested! There are lots of things going on here, and 0% of them have anything to do with your weight. Your weight is fine. You do not need to do intense workouts every day, especially if you are already having trouble sleeping.

Please talk to a doctor or therapist if you do not believe me. You sound like you are going through a lot, and your idea of what constitutes “fat” is already incredibly distorted. You might be at risk of developing an eating disorder, and those can be deadly. Please find a counselor and tell them about your concerns- about your weight, about your self-esteem, about being molested, and about anything else that is negatively impacting your life. You need a more objective observer here.

 

[SushiFan]

Woah woah woah woah woah.

You are not fat. 0% of your problems are due to being fat. None of them. Nobody is mean to you because of that, because you are NOT fat. People are mean to you for their own reasons, which may have little to do with you.

You are already a healthy weight. This is a FACT. You are hurting yourself by exercising excessively, and if you keep this up, you will become very UNhealthy.

Please seek help before your health deteriorates. Any doctor will tell you that you are healthy weight. And please seek help for your sleeping habits, too, and counseling if you cannot sleep because you were molested! There are lots of things going on here, and 0% of them have anything to do with your weight. Your weight is fine. You do not need to do intense workouts every day, especially if you are already having trouble sleeping.

Please talk to a doctor or therapist if you do not believe me. You sound like you are going through a lot, and your idea of what constitutes “fat” is already incredibly distorted. You might be at risk of developing an eating disorder, and those can be deadly. Please find a counselor and tell them about your concerns- about your weight, about your self-esteem, about being molested, and about anything else that is negatively impacting your life. You need a more objective observer here.

Agreed with this all.

You are projecting your distorted body image onto other people’s intentions. The lady at the makeup counter does not think you are fat, nor did she treat you the way she did because of weight. That is your mind making that up. This is why you need to see a counselor ASAP.

Definitely find a counselor, immediately. Are you a student? If so, you can start with the school counselor, but definitely find someone. TODAY. Skip the second workout and use that time to make the phone calls to find the counselor.

 

[smichhertz]

Thanks for the encouraging comments…but I still think it is quite possible that God has called me to be fat. Yesterday night I only slept 4 hours, falling asleep at almost 7 am, felt like a zombie all day but had to do the Insanity workout because I don’t want to be fat and if I miss a day I’ll be fat. Sweating like a pig haha. I still have to do the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels level 2 soon. I wish I could just sleep but it’s not like I’ll fall asleep anyways. I have struggled with falling asleep at night ever since being molested less than 3 weeks ago and last night thinking about how the woman at Dior thought I was fat and worthless prevented me from sleeping as well. I called the customer service at the mall but she said it was impossible that the woman had been rude to me because all their employees are friendly. Guess she could tell I was fat even over the phone, which in her mind, makes me a liar. I don’t know what to do. Is there a Catholic or a Christian hotline that one can call to talk to? I don’t feel comfortable telling people that I know.

Writer2014,

You need to speak to a therapist. This is REALLY serious! You have a terrible body image that (I believe) most likely came about from being molested. You can’t just ignore this, you have to see someone about this!

I’m so sorry to hear about your experience and I can’t even imagine the pain you are going through. You need more help that can be offered on an internet thread. You need to go see a therapist and talk to them!

Above all else, be at peace and know that God loves you! I will pray for you!

 

[KathyA]

If you want to exercises, please do it rigt. What you are doing now is not a correct approach, and you could injure yourself (or perhaps already have) and probably also need to add proper strength training to your regmine.

Yes to this. When I first read this post, the level of strenuous exercise struck me. I have been a dedicated exerciser for several years and use some of the DVD’s the OP mentioned. They are difficult, but offer modified examples for those who are not ready to go full tilt. You can expect to be ‘slightly sore’ from working out, especially when you start. However, to be sore to the extent that you are describing tells me that you are WAY overdoing it. I appreciate that you are motivated to make changes and that you want to include exercise as part of those changes, but remember, slow and steady wins the race.

Once you have worked out consistently for several weeks, you will want to push yourself a bit harder to build up strength and stamina, but again, this should not leave you feeling so wiped out you can’t go up and down the stairs.

There are so many benefits to exercise, but you’ll miss them all if you don’t take the time to learn how to do it safely.

Good luck!

Kathy

 

[holyrood]

((((Writer))))

My prayers are with you. Some people are rude and mean. It doesn’t matter how they excuse it, they’re just rude and mean, and that’s their problem.

I’m wondering if you were heavier in the past, that you still think you’re fat?

As others have said, you aren’t, and the real problem is your thoughts and insecurities.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

My experience with weigh loss is to start with calorie counting (weight watchers is great). Stop all exercise and focus on calorie counting. Once you loose 10% of your body weight, slowly add in exercise.

This works because when you try to incorporate too many strategies at once, you can’t master one piece. Focusing on calorie intake will have your muscels go flabby, and the weight loss will then focus on the fat (not muss el). If your. BMI is 27-34 a doctor may give you a good diet pill which helps greatly with calorie counting.

IMO "thin"only attracts men who objectify women; and the women usually subconsciously, expects objectification. So, you have to ask yourself why “thin” is your goal.

 

[Kamaduck]

My experience with weigh loss is to start with calorie counting (weight watchers is great). Stop all exercise and focus on calorie counting. Once you loose 10% of your body weight, slowly add in exercise.

This works because when you try to incorporate too many strategies at once, you can’t master one piece. Focusing on calorie intake will have your muscels go flabby, and the weight loss will then focus on the fat (not muss el). If your. BMI is 27-34 a doctor may give you a good diet pill which helps greatly with calorie counting.

IMO "thin"only attracts men who objectify women; and the women usually subconsciously, expects objectification. So, you have to ask yourself why “thin” is your goal.

Writer’s BMI is, like, 22 (5’3" and 126 lbs). Smack dab in the middle of the healthy zone. She’s nowhere near needing to lose weight.

I mean, I agree that she needs to stop this exercise level. She’s hurting herself. She needs to be focusing on her mental health, meaning getting therapy. The best things she can do for herself are seek help from a mental health professional and give her body a rest, so it can heal.

She does not need to start counting calories. I know you mean well (because it was assumed that the OP had a realistic body image), but now that we’ve established that she is already a healthy weight, we know that decreasing calorie intake is not going to help the OP. It will make her sick.

 

[Writer2014]

You guys are right but I feel like I HAVE to exercise. I’m already fat WITH exercising, if I missed one workout, I will be like a sumo wrestler. I truly believe that because of my weight, most people I meet will hate me. I wish I could see it otherwise but I believe that people hate me. I have seen a therapist 3x after being molested, but I don’t think that will solve anything. I’ve had friends who have been seeing a therapist they describe as very nice and understanding for years, but they are still as depressed as they were years ago.

I walked on the treadmill briskly for 2 hours today and have blisters on my feet. Now I’m in the middle of Insanity but I have paused it since it is very difficult for me to do all those pushups. I am in the gym of a hotel and I am not going to let myself leave until I am done. When I go home I am still going to have to do the 30 day shred.

The one good thing is that I now apparently weigh 123 pounds as opposed to 126, but I haven’t eaten today so that could be why. (too busy exercising to eat, I’ll eat something later) But 123 pounds still sucks because I remember the gloating girls who told me they weighed much less than that.

 

[Kamaduck]

You guys are right but I feel like I HAVE to exercise. I’m already fat WITH exercising, if I missed one workout, I will be like a sumo wrestler.

This is wrong. This is just factually wrong. Please get help. Please stop hurting yourself. Contact someone you trust and tell them what the situation is. Tell them you are in pain. Have them help you figure out how to get help.

People with eating disorders often feel that they are much much bigger than they really are, and drastically over-estimate their size. You’re already a fairly small person. You do not have a future as a sumo wrestler.

Once more: You are not overweight. This is a FACT.

I truly believe that because of my weight, most people I meet will hate me. I wish I could see it otherwise but I believe that people hate me.

That is IMPOSSIBLE. Because you are NOT overweight. Not even close.

I have seen a therapist 3x after being molested, but I don’t think that will solve anything.

Tell them about your weight concerns. This is of the utmost importance.

I’ve had friends who have been seeing a therapist they describe as very nice and understanding for years, but they are still as depressed as they were years ago.

Eating disorders are much more dangerous than depression. They have the highest fatality rate of any mental illness. Do not underestimate this enemy.

I walked on the treadmill briskly for 2 hours today and have blisters on my feet. Now I’m in the middle of Insanity but I have paused it since it is very difficult for me to do all those pushups. I am in the gym of a hotel and I am not going to let myself leave until I am done. When I go home I am still going to have to do the 30 day shred.

What you are describing is the opposite of healthy. This behavior is going to make you sick. If you’re not going to stop, then at least tell people what you’re doing so that they can help you.

The one good thing is that I now apparently weigh 123 pounds as opposed to 126, but I haven’t eaten today so that could be why. (too busy exercising to eat, I’ll eat something later) But 123 pounds still sucks because I remember the gloating girls who told me they weighed much less than that.

No no no that is NOT good. You need to eat. Your body has a physical need for food. You will die without it. Please eat something.

In fact, call someone first, and explain the situation, and ask for help. I promise you there is help for all of this, but I can’t get it to you over this forum. I need you to pick up the phone yourself and get help from someone who knows you in real life.

And then eat something. Please.

And if you’re not going to do that, then would you be comfortable telling us how old you are and whether you’re in school? That might make it easier for you to get resources. If we know a bit more about your situation, I know that people older and more experienced than me will be able to give you more exact practical advice.

I wish I could hug you, Writer. I wish I could give you a hug through this computer and tell you that you are already healthy on the outside, it’s your expectations that aren’t healthy.

I suppose this will have to do. :hug1:

 

[Cat]

Assuming that this is a real poster, not someone just having a good time at our expense, this person needs a lot more help than any of us can give her. She needs professional intervention.

I don’t plan to post anymore in this thread because I think it is fueling the OP’s sense of superiority over all of the rest of the “fat people,” and this sense of being “superior” makes her continue her destructive course of not eating and exercising. Right now, she is gloating over her ability to exercise for many hours and eat nothing while all of us are fat and out-of-shape, based on our posts about eating normally and exercising moderately. She is using our posts as an impetus to continue exercising even more and and eating less. She doesn’t want to end up like all of us–eating “normally” and exercising “moderately,” because to her, we are not eating normally and exercising moderately. She can’t see it because she is ill and needs help.