…she’ll try to get me to wear halter tops, tank tops or bikinis and I just don’t feel comfortable wearing any of those things. now that I’m seventeen, she’s trying to get me to dress more “grown up”. But I just don’t like what she considers grown up. Any help with this?
When I was seventeen I was a senior in high school, getting ready to go off to college. My parents (mom especially) started getting me things – nail clippers, luggage set, shoe shine kit, a really big teddy bear, OK, I asked for that one
– some of which were kind of odd, but it made sense that they were cramming in the belongings AND SKILLS I would need once I was off on my own in the world.
Planning a wardrobe is one of those skills you’ll need someday, if not just yet. You see what your dresser and closet hold, give away any clothes that don’t fit or (be honest) that you’re never going to wear because you don’t like them, and you look at what remains. Let’s say you need about ten tops, including a couple fo blouses and nice sweaters, about ten “bottoms”, including a few skirts and dresses for church, dressy family occasions like weddings or anniversaries, maybe a date on the fancy side, etc.
Many teens tend to own and wear all casual clothes, but at some point you should own a variety of colors, fabrics, and levels of formality so you have something appropriate and attractive for any likely occasion. You may soon be visiting college campuses and interviewing admissions representatives, or you may be interviewing for a job, for example. Besides color and fabric type, the fit matters: super tight and super baggy are extremes that may not be the most flattering or attractive fits for any given body type.
I don’t know about the “halter tops, tank tops, or bikinis,” but maybe your mom is just trying to help you build a more well-rounded, more mature wardrobe before you go off into the world on your own. Do you ever watch The Learning Channel’s “What NOT to Wear?” Its premise may sound frivolous and superficial, but since you have to wear clothes anyway
why not choose them so as to be attractive and flattering to your coloring and figure type? This is a skill that few are born with, but it can be learned with a little effort and attention to detail. Dressing attractively can help you feel good and confident about yourself as you go off into unfamiliar situations like interviews, the working world, etc. and people may treat you more respectfully as a result, too.
I guess we can’t really know what your mom is thinking unless you ask her.
Some young girls rebel against this without realizing that they are going to far the other way.