Welcome to the ECA (economically challenged association)

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Am I in??? Totally… we are a military family that just recenlty had baby #3 in May AND moved to SoCal two weeks later. We are so far in credit card debt, school loans and junk it’s unreal. My hubby is an officer and we live paycheck to paycheck. The Army has us living off post because they can’t give us on post housing but the basic allowance for housing is pitiful. It doesn’t meet the housing market at all. Our rent alone is more than our BAH but there is also electric, water, etc. We live 67 miles from post (closest thing to post that didn’t have meth labs and prostitutes all over town along with pedofiles crawling everywhere) so my hubby sold his beautiful truck for an economic car but even with the price of gas, he has to call me to see what credit card he can put it on just to make it home. We feed the kids but we barely eat ourselves, just to make sure they are fed. I switched my baby to cloth diapers (with the help of a friend willing to lend me part of her stash so I wouldn’t have to buy any straight out), I have a cloths line instead of the dryer (by default… didn’t know here in California using an electric dryer is expensive, so they use gas… our house that we’re renting is set up for a gas dryer… I don’t have a gas dryer and can’t afford one). I don’t drive anywhere because I can’t afford it and I’m sorry, I can afford the truck payment so I’m not giving up my 7 passanger Pathfinder. We live too far out in the middle of the desert that if we had to get off the beaten path fast for some reason… I have the ability to do so. (Hey, earthquake hit here and roads are impassible… I’m ok)

Anyway… here are some suggestions… try www.freecycle.com for your area. If you need something or want to get rid of something, post it for your area.

www.worldshare.com (I think that’s it.) It’s a share program that you give about 5-15 hours of volunteer time a month in soup kitchens or something and you get about $50 or more in basic staples of food. If it’s not this site, can someone help me here? I have tried to google it and it comes up with www.worldshare.org but then when I go to that site, I come up with some medical site.

www.money.cnn.com has a debt reducer calculator that can help you plan a time frame to get out of debt. I’ve found that helpful when doing my budget. I have to do it every three months because we still use the credit cards.

Pray. God provides when it’s necessary. I don’t like being in so much debt, but i have to keep reminding myself that it took time to get into debt, it’ll take time to get out of it. I’m going to start selling stuff on eBay then when we finally can move on post next year, I’m opening my house as a childcare center so I can make money without having to put my kids in childcare.

I’ll pray for all of you if you can all pray for me. We are in serious need of help so we’ll just keep at it.

peace,
theresa
 
Dh and I just got a joint account. We have decided after much consideration that DH (who spends more money than he earns) will get a monthly allowence of $120 a month. This covers both gas and whatever else he wants to buy. Our joint account will be used to pay the bills and then whatever is left over gets divided by percentage of income and put into our personal savings accounts. DH said that I had to be the one who dealt with the money and I’m fine with that. Does anyone else do it this way?

We found that just splitting the bills and paying them from our own accounts ended in him spending all his money and me paying all the bills.

I’m also wondering how we can put a spiritual spin on this. Do any of you pray to be less materialistic? Please share…
 
Well, I’ve only been married for a year but we have one savings and one checking account. We have to be considerate in our spendings and consult each other before making any major spendings. So far it has worked well. All money is our money.
 
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sarcophagus:
Dh and I just got a joint account. We have decided after much consideration that DH (who spends more money than he earns) will get a monthly allowence of $120 a month. This covers both gas and whatever else he wants to buy. Our joint account will be used to pay the bills and then whatever is left over gets divided by percentage of income and put into our personal savings accounts. DH said that I had to be the one who dealt with the money and I’m fine with that. Does anyone else do it this way?

We found that just splitting the bills and paying them from our own accounts ended in him spending all his money and me paying all the bills.

I’m also wondering how we can put a spiritual spin on this. Do any of you pray to be less materialistic? Please share…
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Hubby and I have never had seperate accounts. For years hubby did have a kind of allowance because he loved buy a lot of “toys”-electronics, video games ect. Obviously I turned out not to be very good at managing money either. Hubby quit smoking Jan1st and he keeps the money saved for spending money on his toys.

I’m long past the materialistic thing. Seeing all the stupid collectables I thought I needed from hallmark makes me want to gag now. I used to think I needed this stuff to be happy the more expensive clothes, home decorating stuff. I was very influenced by my friends -keeping up with Jones’ kind of thing. We are as broke as we have ever been and I’ve figured out happiness comes from relationships not things. Trust me the stress of all the extras in not worth it. There really is peace in simplicity.

I do have one weakness- someday if/when we’re financially stable I’d love to own a camaro. After all these years of driving used compact cars I’d love to to tool around in a beautiful shiny camaro with Bon Jovi blaring on the radio. 😃
 
My DH and I combined our accounts into two checking (one local, one not) and one savings when we got engaged. We always agreed that I would handle the daily money stuff and we would agree on saving goals together, along with a monthly budget. It’s worked okay so far. We never considered separate accounts. It didn’t make much sense with me planning to stay home. He doesn’t get “an allowance”, but doesn’t spend money without asking me first. He even calls if he wants to go out to lunch. It’s not about permission, just about being in the know as to whether we have the money. Maybe when we have more money we can just set aside money for that stuff, but right now we are just trying not to spend anythng unnecessarily.
 
Have any of you ever heard of the book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”? I listened to it on tape the other day, and it is very interesting. It is about a fellow whose dad, a PhD-educated teacher, never had a handle on money. His best friend’s dad, who only had an eighth grade education, wound up owning a good fraction of Hawaii.

His thesis is that, right or wrong, people who gain wealth (which he measures not as a dollar amount but as how far out into the future you can support yourself!) think about money totally differently than everyone else. For instance, his “poor dad” believed that if you studied hard in school, the world owed you financial security. His “rich dad” knew that financial security as most people think about it is a fallacy of fear and emotion that can be used by others to exploit you.

What was totally surprising to me is that much of what he says about rich people who are like his “rich dad” implies that they are some ways* less* enslaved to money than many other people! I wouldn’t advocate doing everything he says, but he has some points. For instance, his “poor dad” never felt he had enough to give substantial amounts to charity. His “rich dad” maintained that when you felt in need, that was the very time you should be giving. It is an act of faith that your hard times won’t be forever.

He says that the rich look at everything, and especially every purchase, in terms of whether it is a long-term liability or a long-term asset. Assets bring in money, liabilities cost money. When people count up assets, for instance, they usually count their homes and cars. But he says most homes and most cars are liabilities, not assets. They eat up far more money in maintenence, depreciation, property taxes, and loan costs than what they return in appreciation, the facilitation of work, or providing needed shelter for the family.

He also says that if you see something as an asset, you’ll take better care of it, because if you don’t, it will turn into a liability. Your body, for instance, can either be your biggest asset or your biggest liability, depending on how you take care of it. Your car is an asset if you take care of it and if it allows you to work… it will be part of the equation that brings more money in that it costs. If you abuse your use of it or don’t maintain it, though, it will end up costing you more than other transportation (or no transportation) would have. That spells liability. He advocates using wages to buy assets and to only use the income from assets to purchase self-rewarding liabilities. In other words, pay your future first, pay today second. This is how poor immigrants start out living in the back of their stores and wind up owning chains of shopping centers.

If you haven’t read this book, consider looking into it. It was a best-seller for awhile, so many public libraries have it. I think the fellow who wrote it is off on some major points–his attitude towards wage earners is condescending, at the very least, and simply unjust at worst–but he definitely has something to teach about using imagination and initiative in thinking about how money might fit differently into your life. If the book had a more rigorous notion of how spiritual assets and liabilities fit into the picture, it could be on to something.

I would also be interested in hearing how anyone else who’s read it took it, what they got out of it, and what fallacies they found. It really got me thinking, but I don’t feel content that I have a handle on it.
 
As for joint bank accounts… I cannot imagine having seperate accounts.

(Unless of course one person is a very irresponsible spender and it needs to be done in order to keep the family from being homeless.)

Other than that, I think seperate accounts just encourage an attitude of “mine” and “yours”. Where is the “ours”?

If I can share my heart, soul, and body with my spouse, I can certainly share the money, lol.

Hubby and I started a detailed budget a couple of years ago when it was clear that we were poor at managing our money.

Now every paycheck gets divided up into envelopes for different expenses and, when the envelope is empty, there is no more spending. We give ourselves $20 per pay in order to be able to buy something we want without having to consult eachother.

We are so much less stressed about money now. Before, there would be constant tension as we ran short for grocery money or the water bill was higher then the month before…and it really didn’t help when hubby would go out and spend $10 on something frivilous. It led to a lot of resentment.

He felt he should be able to spend $10 after working so hard, I felt like he was disrespecting me…he hated feeling like he had to “ask permission” to buy a coffee. I hated feeling like I had to give him permission.

This budget system has been the best thing to happen to us. I highly recommend it:D

Malia
 
I highly recommend a budget…even though we never seem to stick to ours!

I do think separate accounts making managing the money MUCH easier. There are certain things that my wife is in charge of buying out of the money deposited into her account each week and I am responsible for paying the rest of the bills out of my account. This way seems to lead to fewer bounced checks than in the past!

The sad thing that I have noticed is that we don’t really have anymore money now than we did 10 years ago, even though our income is about 6 times higher than it was back then. I am somewhat resolved to the fact that I am BAD with money…Oh well.
 
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Ham1:
I highly recommend a budget…even though we never seem to stick to ours!

I do think separate accounts making managing the money MUCH easier. There are certain things that my wife is in charge of buying out of the money deposited into her account each week and I am responsible for paying the rest of the bills out of my account. This way seems to lead to fewer bounced checks than in the past!

We just use the envelope system…no need for seperate accounts. But I can see how that would be useful for you.

The sad thing that I have noticed is that we don’t really have anymore money now than we did 10 years ago, even though our income is about 6 times higher than it was back then. I am somewhat resolved to the fact that I am BAD with money…Oh well.

Or it could be that gas prices have more than tripled, food prices have skyrocketed, housing is through the roof…you are probably doing better than you think.

I just wish hubby’s salary would at least keep up with the cost of living. Each year things cost more and more, so we are probably “making” less now than when we married…how sad.

malia
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By request of a few members in another thread, here are some SAHM work ideas:
Makeup, etc
www.marykay.com
www.avon.com

Scrapbooking and Stamping and Crafting
www.creativememories.com
www.closetomyheart.com
www.purpletree.com
www.stampinup.com

Food!
www.tastefullysimple.com
www.pamperedchef.com

Home Decor, etc
www.athomeamerica.com

I’m sure there are plenty more; these are just the ones I know of because I have several friends who are SAHM doing these things. Warning: each does require an initial investment of $$, some more than others. Each varies in the amount of time you spend compared with the return/profit you make. Look around and see what works best!

Also, I am a member of babycenter.com and babyzone.com, and they often have ads and links for staying home and working opportunities.

Hope this helps some of you! 🙂
 
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GinaF:
By request of a few members in another thread, here are some SAHM work ideas:
Makeup, etc
www.marykay.com
www.avon.com

Scrapbooking and Stamping and Crafting
www.creativememories.com
www.closetomyheart.com
www.purpletree.com
www.stampinup.com

Food!
www.tastefullysimple.com
www.pamperedchef.com

Home Decor, etc
www.athomeamerica.com

I’m sure there are plenty more; these are just the ones I know of because I have several friends who are SAHM doing these things. Warning: each does require an initial investment of $$, some more than others. Each varies in the amount of time you spend compared with the return/profit you make. Look around and see what works best!
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Also consider which product is one you can get excited about selling. Selling can be a difficult profession under the best of circumstances… there are ups and downs and many “no thank yous” to be endured without being internalized.

If you don’t believe in the product, you will be both unsuccessful and miserable trying to sell it to others. If you believe you’re doing them some good by convincing them to spend some money on what you’re selling, then you could be on your way.

Also, get to a library and learn what you can about the art of selling. Talk to someone outside your sales area about what they do and don’t like about the company they sell for. You’ll save yourself much grief if you don’t try to reinvent the wheel. I have been told that this is a good reason to favor starting with those companies that really teach you and actively support you in your sales efforts.
 
Has anyone ever refinanced to consolidate their debt? I have put off doing this for years because after several years of trying to consolidate to one credit card and ending up deeper in debt (i.e. open a card, transfer some money from another card, max out the first card again, etc.), I decided that I would never take out a new debt to get out of debt.

But now with gas prices, I don’t think we can stay afloat anymore in our current situation. DH and I both fill up almost two times a week just to get to work and back. (Did I already say that earlier? I apologize if I am repeating myself.) After giving it a great deal of prayerful thought, we are planning to refinance our home, which has appreciated considerably since we bought it. It won’t wipe out our debt completely, but it will eliminate most of the credit cards and give us some breathing room. I keep telling myself that this is a good thing, but I can’t help but be nervous that we are making a mistake.
 
Refinancing can be a good idea.

Make sure that you get a competitive interest rate. Do not borrow more than you need and if at all possible keep the loan at under 80% of the value of your home. This will keep your rate low and avoid private mortgage insurance. Since you haven’t done this before make sure you read the fine print. Many mortgage brokers will try to add excessive points and fees into closing costs etc. and up their profit at your expense.

This can be a great way to get your feet under you!

God bless!
 
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maryalene:
Has anyone ever refinanced to consolidate their debt?
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I understand your hesitation to refinance your home in order to get out from under the pile of other debt. It is something you will need to fully research before doing, but it can be a great idea.

We did it not long after we bought our first home.

We were young and foolish (still young, but not quite as foolish,lol) and bought a home, got married, and ran up over $10,000 of credit card debt all in one year!

At first we consolidated our debt onto a “line of credit”. The interest rate was much lower than our credit cards and we were slowly able to reduce the debt. But it was way too slow. We needed to find another solution.

Like you, we were very hesitant to refinance our home. It just seemed like the wrong thing to do. But now, about 4 years later, I can tell you it was the best decision we could have made.

We had taken our mortgage (originally) for a 25 year ammortization period. We were worried about adding years to our mortgage. But it worked out that we only ended up adding about 6 months to the total term. That was very worth us getting out of the credit card debt!

As long as the amount of your mortgage loan does not exceed the value of your house I think it’s a good idea. After all, if you ever get into big trouble you could always sell. You wouldn’t be any worse off than people who have chosen to rent.

Malia
 
I’m resurrecting this thread because I need to whine for a moment. We did refinance our house which has really helped our budget. However, we are trying to have our first ever credit card free Christmas this year. So earlier this week, I had a rather large bill to pay. I could have used a credit card, but instead I wrote a check knowing that it might clear before my paycheck was deposited today. But we have overdraft protection, and I figured the $25 NSF fee would be a small price to pay to avoid pulling out the credit card and perhaps falling back into the habit of using it. Well, the check did clear yesterday as did a few other small checks written after it. And then for whatever reason, the credit union processed several small debit purchases before processing my payroll check which is directly deposited. So I opened my account this morning to find $200 in NSF fees. I called the bank about the NSF fees for today because I thought deposits such as my payroll were suppose to be processed before debits, but they told me I was out of luck and stuck with the fees. It is totally my fault, and I could just kick myself. One of the fees was for a $2.79 debit that I made at a gas station. I had $2.00 in my pocket and instead of running out to my car for the change, I used my debit card. Oh, it makes me so mad! We were doing so well this year and in the last month, everything has fallen to pieces. I could just cry (well, actually I did). Oh, well…what’s done is done - I just needed someplace to unload - thanks for listening to my pity party.

On the positive side, our parish is offering Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University in January, and we are signed up for that. http://forum.catholic.com/images/smilies/smile.gif
 
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maryalene:
I’m resurrecting this thread because I need to whine for a moment. We did refinance our house which has really helped our budget. However, we are trying to have our first ever credit card free Christmas this year. So earlier this week, I had a rather large bill to pay. I could have used a credit card, but instead I wrote a check knowing that it might clear before my paycheck was deposited today. But we have overdraft protection, and I figured the $25 NSF fee would be a small price to pay to avoid pulling out the credit card and perhaps falling back into the habit of using it. Well, the check did clear yesterday as did a few other small checks written after it. And then for whatever reason, the credit union processed several small debit purchases before processing my payroll check which is directly deposited. So I opened my account this morning to find $200 in NSF fees. I called the bank about the NSF fees for today because I thought deposits such as my payroll were suppose to be processed before debits, but they told me I was out of luck and stuck with the fees. It is totally my fault, and I could just kick myself. One of the fees was for a $2.79 debit that I made at a gas station. I had $2.00 in my pocket and instead of running out to my car for the change, I used my debit card. Oh, it makes me so mad! We were doing so well this year and in the last month, everything has fallen to pieces. I could just cry (well, actually I did). Oh, well…what’s done is done - I just needed someplace to unload - thanks for listening to my pity party.

On the positive side, our parish is offering Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University in January, and we are signed up for that. http://forum.catholic.com/images/smilies/smile.gif
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I feel your frustration. I remember a news story a while ago about this. They were saying how banks will purposely process checks and debits in an order that will cause you to be overdrawn. Very sleezy, but not illegal as of yet. I seem to remember that congress was considering taking it up.
 
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maryalene:
I’m resurrecting this thread because I need to whine for a moment. We did refinance our house which has really helped our budget. However, we are trying to have our first ever credit card free Christmas this year. So earlier this week, I had a rather large bill to pay. I could have used a credit card, but instead I wrote a check knowing that it might clear before my paycheck was deposited today. But we have overdraft protection, and I figured the $25 NSF fee would be a small price to pay to avoid pulling out the credit card and perhaps falling back into the habit of using it. Well, the check did clear yesterday as did a few other small checks written after it. And then for whatever reason, the credit union processed several small debit purchases before processing my payroll check which is directly deposited. So I opened my account this morning to find $200 in NSF fees. I called the bank about the NSF fees for today because I thought deposits such as my payroll were suppose to be processed before debits, but they told me I was out of luck and stuck with the fees. It is totally my fault, and I could just kick myself. One of the fees was for a $2.79 debit that I made at a gas station. I had $2.00 in my pocket and instead of running out to my car for the change, I used my debit card. Oh, it makes me so mad! We were doing so well this year and in the last month, everything has fallen to pieces. I could just cry (well, actually I did). Oh, well…what’s done is done - I just needed someplace to unload - thanks for listening to my pity party.

On the positive side, our parish is offering Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University in January, and we are signed up for that. http://forum.catholic.com/images/smilies/smile.gif
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That is pretty odd that the Credit Union ould not waive the fees…
I use a bank not a credit union but I have had the account for 10 plus years…never bounced a check or got an overdraft…a few years ago I deposited a CERTIFIED BANK CHECK and wrote a check…the depoist did not clear for 3 days:confused: and the check I wrote bounced…UGH!!!..well I called the bank and gave them HELL…they ended up transfering me to the bank manager who reviewed my account and said since I had never had this occur in the past and i was a good customer they would waive the $35. overdraft charge.
Anyway the point being…do you use the overdraft protection often? IF so this is perhaps why they do not want to waive the fees:confused:
 
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Karin:
Anyway the point being…do you use the overdraft protection often? IF so this is perhaps why they do not want to waive the feeshttp://forum.catholic.com/images/smilies/confused.gif
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Yup, this was the reason why. We went almost a whole year without bouncing a check, but we’ve used the overdraft protection about four times in the past month. I understand why they won’t waive the fees, but it’s so depressing. I haven’t been able to get my checkbook to balance this month and some unexpected expenses popped up, and I just can’t seem to pull things back together and get us on track. It all makes me want to throw in the towel, grab the credit card and go on a shopping spree. Fortunately, I don’t have a credit card with me to do that. http://forum.catholic.com/images/smilies/smile.gif
 
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maryalene:
Yup, this was the reason why. We went almost a whole year without bouncing a check, but we’ve used the overdraft protection about four times in the past month.
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😦
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maryalene:
I understand why they won’t waive the fees, but it’s so depressing. I haven’t been able to get my checkbook to balance this month and some unexpected expenses popped up, and I just can’t seem to pull things back together and get us on track. It all makes me want to throw in the towel, grab the credit card and go on a shopping spree. Fortunately, I don’t have a credit card with me to do that. http://forum.catholic.com/images/smilies/smile.gif
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I was always taught that you should have a budget and you should have a savings account (with approx 3 months of wages in it) for emergencies (or a money market account or somehting that earns interest that you can have easy access to) .
It is hard to get the savings account built up but it is possible and this will help when those unexpected things come up.
 
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