Well, just got in a BIG fight

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Celia

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Anyone here ever get into a big, screaming fight with a family member? 'Cause I did tonight. I’m talking, another family member holding the person I was fighting with back, screaming at the top of my voice fighting here. Over something really, really stupid that was took the wrong way. I know that I was right, but I eventually managed to control myself and speak at a normal level and apologize for any hurt feelings. To which the other person replied, “Yeah? well, you should be sorry”, then proceeded to throw a piece of paper in my face and walk out. Afterwards the family members I was there with attempted to make me feel better and agreed that not only was I right but said it was commendable that I tried to be the better person. Which made me feel a little better, but now I feel more angry than I did when it happend. I feel like the other person was being incredibly immature, dramatic and overreacting. It upset my parents and was embarrassing in front of my husband to be fighting like that. I feel so, so furious right now at the way this person acted and I cannot stop thinking about it, it’s keeping me awake…
I feel that as a Christian I should not be feeling this way. I feel like I’m getting more mad by the minute. It’s one of those fights over something really dumb and then the person starts yelling very hurtful insults that have nothing to do with the subject at hand (I was called “worthless” and a “spolied brat” as well as a few expletives I can’t put on here.) I cannot get over it. I tried to pray and I can’t focus.
I guess besides needing to vent, I need some advice. I feel sooo mad. And I feel like a bad Christian. And my feelings are hurt, very badly. This has been such a stressful week, my Grandma dies last saturday, I’ve been sick, I’ve been traveling across the state all weekend, and now this.

I’m sorry this is so long. I hope y’all made it through. What do you guys think of my situation?
 
About all I can do is pray for you. Vent here if you feel you must, but then let go and let God.
~ Kathy ~
 
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Celia:
I’m sorry this is so long. I hope y’all made it through. What do you guys think of my situation?
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No problem with it being long.

Anger is a problem for many. It is a shame considering what Christ taught about anger. So the question is, so what to do?

Your anger is fueled by one or more the energy centers of the false self, which are 1) security/comfort, 2) affection/esteem, and 3) power/control.

When your security of comfort is threatened, and/or when your image is at stake, and/or if you feel less power/control than you wish you had (like most of us) then you will become angry.

A lot of times it’s about power/control. The other person just won’t concede and listen to and obey me. In this case, recognize that the world feeds our emotional reflexes such that we tend to react with anger. This is a lie, however, because what happens when you get angry is you actually give up control.

If a person can get me angry, then that person can control me by yanking my emotional strings and I’ll let it happen. It is NOT about the other person deserving it or not, or about how they’re being. When you get mad, you are offering your opponent a ticket to ride roughshod on your heart, thus you lose control further, thus you get madder, and oh dear pretty soon you’re screaming at a family member.

Robert Conklin has a great chapter about anger in his book How to Get People To Do Things. He explains just how it is that people resist, and shows exactly how becoming angry actually gives up control. Getting angry is a learned response to lack of control. Personally I think our adults and leaders when we are little teach us to be angry whenever somebody is out of line. Well we get to reacting this way ourselves, and find that unless we have a big enough stick, getting angry just doesn’t threaten the other person into compliance; it just makes them more stubborn, often defiant, hurt, and angry back at you.

Once you have established firmly that anger does exactly the opposite of what it is “supposed” to do, and that it is for your benefit and not your opponent’s to maintain control, there are lots of things you can do from there.

One place to start is to make sure that even in times when loved ones say something mean or challenging, they still are loved ones and hopefully we can assume that neither they nor I are actually out trying to see the other be miserable. Also, consider your own “importance” as more or less than the other, than this will breed resentment either way. In other words, “I’m OK, you’re not OK,” or “I’m not OK, but you’re OK” breeds resentment toward the one who has the image of being OK. Once you have established “I’m OK, you’re OK” then you’re good to move on.

The next thing is to learn assertive ways to handle situations. Assertive does not mean aggressive as many seem to think; it means appropriate. Very briefly to summarize an eight week private course I took from a psychologist, if someone does something I don’t like, it is either because 1) it causes me a problem “you’re standing on my toe” or 2) it creates a needs conflict “if you take the car how will I get to work” or 3) it creates a values collision. There are ways to respond to these situations that tend to defuse, rather than fuel, the fire.

This post is long enough so I quit now. 🙂

Alan
 
Hi Celia,

Yes. I’ve gotten into a BIG screaming fight with my mother, at my nephew’s birthday party no less. My mother has some kind of personality disorder (narcissistic/borderline). When I arrived to the party, I could tell she was sniffing around for a fight. I told my sister and dh that I was worried that she was going to start something. Sure enough, she approached me like a dog with a bone who wouldn’t let go. I kept telling her that it was neither the time nor the place, etc. etc. Right in front of all my sister’s in-laws and everything, she followed me wherever I went and then let it out on my dh. We ended up leaving. I remember just feeling stunned, and couldn’t even say anything to my dh when we left. I just felt that whatever relationship I had with my mother had just been completely destroyed.

I went to confession as I , like you, became angrier and angrier the more I thought about it. Father told me that anger is a feeling, and we can’t help what we feel. Our personalities are formed by God. He told me that I CAN control the outward expression of that anger though. So, I tried offering up my anger for my dearly departed dad. In this way, I did not dwell on it forever and did some good for Dad in the process.
 
I agree with Giannawannabee to “offer up” your anger to a saint or a departed relative. I’m a father and I don’t like to show my anger and frustrations in front of my family, so I’ve had the bad habit of driving in my car and talking to myself—which looks so stupid. Plus, nobody listens.

I was only vaguely aware that I was angrily talking to myself—the venting felt so good. But then I had a relative laughingly tell my wife that they saw me driving around town talking to myself with a deep frown on my face—and that it was just another example of how loony I was.

I get so mad sometimes. I get angry with people who are so shallow and superficial. Yet, it’s best to “offer it up”. Say a prayer…say another prayer. I can’t help getting angry, and I still catch myslef talking to myself in my car.

We are all works in progress.

“Pray, hope, and then don’t worry about it”
Saint Padre Pio
 
My mother is also probably a narcistic/borderline. She is amost impossible not to argue with. Perhaps this story will make you feel better because I doubt that anyone on this site has had a more dumb arguement with their mom. I can find humor in the below situation but at the time…oh, was I mad.

The worst and silliest arguement that I ever got into with her was over a dandilion. Yes, a dandilion. She had come to stay with me while my husband was on tdy to another state.(He is military) She was *supposed *to help me and be company for me. It did not work that way. From the moment that she entered my house, she told me how much sweeter my sil was too her and what better food my cousins made for her. My cooking was either too bland, too spicy, too full of garlic, too rich, too full of cholesterol…I had tried to take the criticisms with a smile, but my temper was pretty worn.

One day we went for a walk. She saw a dandelion and immediately told me that NC-I lived in Iowa at the time-didn’t have such flowers. I was a bit surprised and assured that everywhere has dandelions. I had grown up in NC, so I knew that NC had dandelions.

She was adament. No, there were no such flowers in Nc and could I tell her what they were called. I was not angry at this point, just confused. I told her that they were dandelions. This went on for a few minutes. I was not angry at her, just amazed that she couldn’t tell that the flowers were the same. She suddenly ran ahead of me and went storming into the house. I had no idea what was wrong. I thought that we were having a very nice discussion.

WHen I got in the house, she was crying. According to her, I should have out of respect simply agreed that there were no dandelions in NC. So, hoping to stop an arguement, I volunteered that I was wrong and offered to apologize. At this point she burst into harder tears and accused me of patronizing her. Ahhh…!!!

For three days, she would alternate between tears and fussing. I thought, well if it takes two to argue, then I will not argue. I explained in forced calm tones that I would not argue. I picked up a book and forced myself to read when she went into arguement overdrive. So, she began to call me cold and unfeeling. I had never loved her or anyone. If I left the room, she followed me.

When the kids came in the room, she stopped and was unusually sweet to them. WHen the pastor came over, her arguements stopped and she was very, very nice. As soon as she had me in the room alone, she started back up. Finally, I erupted. I told her that she was going to have to leave my house. I couldn’t take this insane argueing. I was very angry at this point.

She looked me calmly in the eye and said,“Why are you argueing? I haven’t lifted my voice. You are very difficult to have a discussion with. You really need to control your temper.”

Now, I can laugh at the situation. At the time, I had serious difficulty not shaking her.
 
Thank you for your thoughtful responses. I still am angry today, maybe a little less than last night. I think today I will at least be able to pray about it without getting mad all over again. (hopefully…)

I guess I could expand a bit more on what happend. Well, I was fighting with my sister. She is very…loud and bossy and says what she thinks no matter what. (kinda similar to my mom, i think) whereas I usually keep my thoughts to myself. (kinda like my dad). She tries to find drama when there isn’t any all the time, like in this matter. I won’t get too into it for sake of post length, but I told her half jokingly that she could have gotten something back to me that I had lent to her, becuse I needed it that week and she knew it. I didn’t really care, I was just making a comment. Well, this added fuel to her fire. Thus began the “I work 70 hrs a week” (which she doesn’t, she works quite a bit, but not 70) and “I don’t have time to sit around all day, I work, I don’t have anyone to take care of me, (meaning my husband) blah blah blah.” She makes small comments to this effect all the time but I usually just ignore it. This time, I couldn’t. I told her that I didn’t care and it would have been common courtesy to call me. And that I work too (part time, but I also go to school and do all of the cleaning/cooking). She then started literally screaming at the top of her lungs that I was a worthless spolied brat. My mother grabbed her by the shoulders and then she started screamimg at her to let her go, then began yelling more insults at me. I had had enough and yelled at her to get out of my face. More screaming. Then I attempted to reason with her. I told her (pretty much through gritted teeth) that if I offended her then I was sorry, it was only a comment, and was not meant to be taken in that way. And y’all know the rest of the story.
By the way she screamed her way right into the drive way and into her car. What a class act. (Lord forgive me, I am still angry.)
Afterwards my parents (who were trying to console me seeing as I burst into tears as soon as she left…i’m not good with confrontation, I guess) told me that she is overworked and stressed and mad at herself and jealous as all heck of me. (I’m 6 yrs younger than her, I’m married, I’m going to school, my husband has a good job) That it wasn’t my fault, etc.
She tries to blame everyone but herself for her problems but when you look at her it is only her fault. And I am sick of being called lazy and worthless because I got married. She moved in with her drug dealing boyfriend at 19. Then proceeded to move back in with my parents the next time he stole from her only to move back in with him again. She did this 4 times, it put my parents through hell.
But that’s why she is in the situation she is in. She is jealous and always thinks she is right and I am having a hard time forgiving her for this. She really hurt my feelings with the things she called me and I don’t know if I am ever going to forget that.

Alan, I think I understand your post about yanking on the emotional strings. It’s very true. She sure knows how to get right at me. And I hit her right where it hurts too, I guess.
(It’s funny, I was having flashbacks during the fight to when we were little and would have screaming fights about, “you’re on my side of the room!” or something stupid. Nothing ever changes. I’ve always been worthless, stupid, lazy, “dad’s favorite”, etc., etc…)
Deb, you mentioned having a dumb fight, believe me, I could so see your story happening in my family.
and Giannaw., I understand what you mean when you say that you felt like your relationship was destroyed. I feel that way now.
Thanks to others for your thoughts and prayers. It is much appreciated. I’m going to work on that “offering up” stuff…
 
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AlanFromWichita:
No problem with it being long.

Anger is a problem for many. It is a shame considering what Christ taught about anger. So the question is, so what to do?

Your anger is fueled by one or more the energy centers of the false self, which are 1) security/comfort, 2) affection/esteem, and 3) power/control.

SNIP

This post is long enough so I quit now.

Alan
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WOW, that has to be one of the most helpful things I’ve ever read. 🙂
 
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Celia:
I guess besides needing to vent, I need some advice. I feel sooo mad. And I feel like a bad Christian. And my feelings are hurt, very badly. This has been such a stressful week, my Grandma dies last saturday, I’ve been sick, I’ve been traveling across the state all weekend, and now this.

I’m sorry this is so long. I hope y’all made it through. What do you guys think of my situation?
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Well, when it rains, it pours, doesn’t it? I would recommend giving it some time to cool down, pray, possibly go to confession, and maybe write a little sorry note. It doesn’t have to be long, but just reiterate that you are sorry and you hope it won’t continue to come between you two. It will go a very long way. Sometimes people just need a bit of time to calm down, and when times are stressful, people can react in unexpected ways.

Eamon
 
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deb1:
My mother is also probably a narcistic/borderline. She is amost impossible not to argue with. Perhaps this story will make you feel better because I doubt that anyone on this site has had a more dumb arguement with their mom. I can find humor in the below situation but at the time…oh, was I mad.

The worst and silliest arguement that I ever got into with her was over a dandilion. Yes, a dandilion. She had come to stay with me while my husband was on tdy to another state.(He is military) She was *supposed *to help me and be company for me. It did not work that way. From the moment that she entered my house, she told me how much sweeter my sil was too her and what better food my cousins made for her. My cooking was either too bland, too spicy, too full of garlic, too rich, too full of cholesterol…I had tried to take the criticisms with a smile, but my temper was pretty worn.

One day we went for a walk. She saw a dandelion and immediately told me that NC-I lived in Iowa at the time-didn’t have such flowers. I was a bit surprised and assured that everywhere has dandelions. I had grown up in NC, so I knew that NC had dandelions.

She was adament. No, there were no such flowers in Nc and could I tell her what they were called. I was not angry at this point, just confused. I told her that they were dandelions. This went on for a few minutes. I was not angry at her, just amazed that she couldn’t tell that the flowers were the same. She suddenly ran ahead of me and went storming into the house. I had no idea what was wrong. I thought that we were having a very nice discussion.

WHen I got in the house, she was crying. According to her, I should have out of respect simply agreed that there were no dandelions in NC. So, hoping to stop an arguement, I volunteered that I was wrong and offered to apologize. At this point she burst into harder tears and accused me of patronizing her. Ahhh…!!!

For three days, she would alternate between tears and fussing. I thought, well if it takes two to argue, then I will not argue. I explained in forced calm tones that I would not argue. I picked up a book and forced myself to read when she went into arguement overdrive. So, she began to call me cold and unfeeling. I had never loved her or anyone. If I left the room, she followed me.

When the kids came in the room, she stopped and was unusually sweet to them. WHen the pastor came over, her arguements stopped and she was very, very nice. As soon as she had me in the room alone, she started back up. Finally, I erupted. I told her that she was going to have to leave my house. I couldn’t take this insane argueing. I was very angry at this point.

She looked me calmly in the eye and said,“Why are you argueing? I haven’t lifted my voice. You are very difficult to have a discussion with. You really need to control your temper.”

Now, I can laugh at the situation. At the time, I had serious difficulty not shaking her.
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OMG!!! deb1, I think your mom and my mom are the same person;)
 
I had a problem with a sister-in-law years ago when my daughter was a teen(age 16) I forbid her to see a certain boy. My sister-in-law went behind my back with the lie that my daughter is babysitting her children. Unknown to me, my daughter went out on a date with this person, I got a call from the police:eek: that my daughter, although not in trouble, is there because her boyfriend was pick up for drunken driving. After I picked her up and she told me what happened, I went over to my sister-in-law in the morning, she said I was a bad mother for judging people:confused: and I should allow her to experince life:whacky: Then I asked her why she went against my wishes and she reponded by cursing at me and punching me in the mouth. I tried on several occasions to say I was sorry for not understanding her point of view, but she told me to_____ off. I have not seen her in years, they moved out of state. I have since forgiven myself and her in my heart even though she will not accept my apology. There is nothing you can do if a family member will not respond.
 
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Giannawannabe:
OMG!!! deb1, I think your mom and my mom are the same person;)
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Well, if your name is Kristie and you have an older sister named Debbie then…Hey, sis!😃

The even more funny part-funny in a horrible way-is that I threatened to call the cops on her. I wanted her out of my home. I could not handle this insane determination of hers to argue. So, I informed her that for the sake of our relationship, I was sending her back to NC.

Very smugly, she told me that I couldn’t make her leave my own home. Nope. SHe was staying put, despite the fact that I wanted her to go. So, I threatened to call the cops and have her removed.

Can you imagine what the conversation with the police would have been like, if I had called?. Me: My mother won’t stop argueing. I need to get her to leave. Cops: What exactly started this arguement? Me: Dandelions.

The police would have thought that I was the one in need of a stay at the loony bin.:bigyikes:
 
Hey Celia ~

No great wisdom here. Just wanted to co-miserate with you. I too am the spoiled-brat, dad’s favorite, lazy, lucky, little sister of an overly emotional drama-queen of an older sister who is a professional victim. She is an expert at putting me down, picking fights, insulting me, and designing the whole affair to look like the world is against her.
I can relate. Hang in there.
 
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ridesawhitehors:
Hey Celia ~

No great wisdom here. Just wanted to co-miserate with you. I too am the spoiled-brat, dad’s favorite, lazy, lucky, little sister of an overly emotional drama-queen of an older sister who is a professional victim. She is an expert at putting me down, picking fights, insulting me, and designing the whole affair to look like the world is against her.
I can relate. Hang in there.
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Thanks. Gosh, you hit it right on the head. That is exactly what my sister is like.
I won’t be seeing her again until probably Sunday. We’ll see how it goes. She has a tendency to either drag things out for way too long or forget about it a couple days later. I’m so stressd out over it.
Anyway, good to know I’m not the only “spolied” little sister out there, bent on the ruin of the older sister…:rolleyes:

And thanks to everyone else for their advice. Maybe I’ll post an update after Sunday.
 
Amazing what jealousy can do to people.

I’m surrounded by in - laws who are very jealous…it’s really hard to be yourself around them for “fear” of what will come out of their mouths next.

Sorry for your problems with sis…but it’s all jealousy…which you probably already knew!
 
I got in a huge blow out with my dad recently over the phone at 7:30 am when trying to get 3 kids out the door and to school. Wow! It was huge, I was screaming, he was screaming. It was ugly to say the least. I was so angry when I hung up I could have spit nails. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought that no matter what, right or wrong, I handled it very poorly. I talk to my dad, apologized for my actions, with no excuses and agreed to disagree - and yes, went to confession for dishonoring my dad.
 
There’s one in every family! I think the more we pray for them, the easier it is to see how awful it must be for them to have to walk around in their skins. One of my five siblings lives a life of misery of her own making. While our parents were alive we kept the peace for their sake, (and by their direction) but by her own mouth she alienated virtually her entire family. We still include her in family invitations, but because she continues to “keep score”, she can never participate in family gatherings because someone has said something to which she has taken offense. It’s sad, really. When someone takes offense where none is intended, the consequences are feelings hurt all around, but there is nothing to be done about how someone decides to take a remark. We can only try to keep our side of the street clear. I have found peace by prayer for her intentions. That’s another thing to remember - the one who keeps score loses.
 
Yeah. I basically don’t think I would even have that much contact with my sister if it wasn’t for my parents. They like to have us all together every now and then. My brother, on the other hand, is a lot like me and we get along pretty well, just a couple spats over the years. But my sister…well, try as I might, we just don’t get a long very well. I love her, of course, but she has a tendency to be very hurtful and spiteful when she isn’t totally happy with any situation…

Anyway, I was at my mom’s yesterday and answered the phone at their house, when she called. (they don’t have ID, so I didn’t know it was her.)
Kind of went like this:
“hello?”
(pause.)
“hi.”…
(pause.)
“how are you?”
“fine…how are you?”
“fine…is mom there?”
“yeah. hang on.”
sooo…at least the lines of communication are open, but who knows, with her. I won’t know till tomorrow night, we’re all supposed to have dinner at my parents.
Hooo buddy. This should be fun.
I’ll let you know how it turns out. 🙂

and thanks for letting me vent, everyone :o
 
I went home last year for my cousin’s wedding (ten hour drive from where we live) with my three children. My youngest sister has had some serious issues with depression/ anxiety/ anger. I was having a disagreement with my mom about her discilpining my 8 yr old child when my sister jumped in and started saying awful things about me, my parenting, etc. I looked at her calmly and asked if she had taken her Lexapro, an anti-anxiety drug she is on but had been laxed in taking. I could tell that her behavior was not normal. This must have been the wrong thing to say be cause she began screaming, saying the “f” word and calling me the “b” word at the top of her lungs in front of my children. After trying to calm her down and asking my parents to remove her (she is 25 and lives at home) I just ignored her and, put my children in teh van and began to quickly pack everthing I could into my suitcases, etc. It became much worse when my mom decided to start saying hateful things to me and I just kept telling them if they could just leave me alone and let me get all my stuff they would never have to see me again. My mom forbid me to go to my cousin’s wedding. My sister was following me around the house while I gathered my stuff, screaming horrible things at me. They were very angry that I asked about my sister’s medication. (my sister elaborated when she told my mom what I said about her medicine) While I was passing through the garage to my van, my sister began threatening me physically and I said “What are you going to do, hit me or something, you need to just go in the house and calm down. You are not acting normal!” She picked up a broom and began charging me with it. She hit the broom so hard on the floor that the head broke off ! I grabbed the broom handle and threw it to the side of the garage and blocked a punch she threw at me and shoved her away. I mean, what else could I have done? She started screaming “She hit me!” Apparently when I grabbed the broom she was swinging at me, the handle hit her in the mouth and her lip was bleeding. I was sure my parents would never believe her, but they did. My mom threatened to call the police on me, my dad and mom both thought I punched her. I woudl NEVER do anything like that! I think that is what hurt the most, that my parents woudl actully think I would hit my sister. As I was leaving my mom said that the police were after me. I believed her. My children and I were terrified. My mom was worried because my sister told her I pushed her to the ground and was beating her in the face. My sister had a headache, was disoriented and nauseous, (the way someone would feel after screaming and crying in a fit of blind rage) so my mom acutally took her to the ER for a CAT scan! I tried to tell my dad that she absolutely did not hit her head, but they would not believe me. My dad called later that day to say that my sister didnt’ have a concussion, big surprise. I learned alot about my parent’s loyalty to me that day. Since then, my sister has continued to struggle with her problems. We “made up” and we went to her wedding last month. I will never fully trust my family again. My mom has apologized. She saw the mood problems my sister was having after the incident. She was having angry outbursts over little things, etc. It was a nightmare. I went for over a year without going to my hometown, I just feel like I can forgive my family but have to protect my children. It is a bad situation to be in. So yes, I have had awful times with my family, which is why I live ten hours from them. I worry about my sister, she has a good heart, there is something wrong with her. She is on medication now, but I worry b/c I have seen the way she treats the man she just married and I am also afraid she will have bad post partum depression.
 
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Peace-bwu:
I went home last year for my cousin’s wedding (ten hour drive from where we live) with my three children. My youngest sister has had some serious issues with depression/ anxiety/ anger. I was having a disagreement with my mom about her discilpining my 8 yr old child when my sister jumped in and started saying awful things about me, my parenting, etc. I looked at her calmly and asked if she had taken her Lexapro, an anti-anxiety drug she is on but had been laxed in taking. I could tell that her behavior was not normal. This must have been the wrong thing to say be cause she began screaming, saying the “f” word and calling me the “b” word at the top of her lungs in front of my children. After trying to calm her down and asking my parents to remove her (she is 25 and lives at home) I just ignored her and, put my children in teh van and began to quickly pack everthing I could into my suitcases, etc. It became much worse when my mom decided to start saying hateful things to me and I just kept telling them if they could just leave me alone and let me get all my stuff they would never have to see me again. My mom forbid me to go to my cousin’s wedding. My sister was following me around the house while I gathered my stuff, screaming horrible things at me. They were very angry that I asked about my sister’s medication. (my sister elaborated when she told my mom what I said about her medicine) While I was passing through the garage to my van, my sister began threatening me physically and I said “What are you going to do, hit me or something, you need to just go in the house and calm down. You are not acting normal!” She picked up a broom and began charging me with it. She hit the broom so hard on the floor that the head broke off ! I grabbed the broom handle and threw it to the side of the garage and blocked a punch she threw at me and shoved her away. I mean, what else could I have done? She started screaming “She hit me!” Apparently when I grabbed the broom she was swinging at me, the handle hit her in the mouth and her lip was bleeding. I was sure my parents would never believe her, but they did. My mom threatened to call the police on me, my dad and mom both thought I punched her. I woudl NEVER do anything like that! I think that is what hurt the most, that my parents woudl actully think I would hit my sister. As I was leaving my mom said that the police were after me. I believed her. My children and I were terrified. My mom was worried because my sister told her I pushed her to the ground and was beating her in the face. My sister had a headache, was disoriented and nauseous, (the way someone would feel after screaming and crying in a fit of blind rage) so my mom acutally took her to the ER for a CAT scan! I tried to tell my dad that she absolutely did not hit her head, but they would not believe me. My dad called later that day to say that my sister didnt’ have a concussion, big surprise. I learned alot about my parent’s loyalty to me that day. Since then, my sister has continued to struggle with her problems. We “made up” and we went to her wedding last month. I will never fully trust my family again. My mom has apologized. She saw the mood problems my sister was having after the incident. She was having angry outbursts over little things, etc. It was a nightmare. I went for over a year without going to my hometown, I just feel like I can forgive my family but have to protect my children. It is a bad situation to be in. So yes, I have had awful times with my family, which is why I live ten hours from them. I worry about my sister, she has a good heart, there is something wrong with her. She is on medication now, but I worry b/c I have seen the way she treats the man she just married and I am also afraid she will have bad post partum depression.
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What an awful experience! :nope: And all in front of your children, too. I’m glad your speaking now but, I can imagine that it’s going to be very hard to cultivate a trusting relationship after that. Actually, it sounds a lot like how my fight got started…a comment taken the wrong way. It’s sad, really. Best of luck and prayers for you, hon.

I’m glad there’s other people out there with the same kind of problems. Sometimes I feel like my family is so bizarre…
 
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