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jman507
Guest
If you can make it in your family you can make it anywhere in the world. In a way at least in the world you have a greater chance of going into a group that thinks like you. In the family its completely random.
People usually don’t start fights, unless it has already started in their own heart. Maybe at times you might feel happy, then you want to be with other happy people. If you feel upset at a situation, perhaps you’ll want others to be upset too. So if another starts a fight, try to let go of your anger as soon as you can, and try to start loving them as soon as you can. If that only means pray and forgive them do that.
Maybe even if they do that infront of your children, maybe try to use that as a teaching situation. Maybe it’ll teach them, that their own outbursts doesn’t seem like the right choice. It probably won’t be the only fight they see.
It is good to let go of the pride that comes with anger, and embrace humility. If some don’t believe you, remember your Lord sees all. Where you are wronge, your Lord will be in joy, if you let go your proudness and confess. After that embrace Jesus’s commandment, love your neighbor as you do yourself. Perhaps it’s better if you don’t see each other, so just forgive and pray. If you can see them, forgive and pray, and then just try to help them out. It is better to be hurt again than to harden your heart. Oh and if it helps you to tell the story to another, do that too. Make sure your honest where you didn’t handle things properly.
For me, I’ve gotten in a fight with my brother, and I’m sure we both thought we were right. We didn’t talk for a couple years. When I thought about it, it always made me mad. It was not good, nor was I the person I wanted to be. A harden heart might protect you, but it isn’t going to make you a person who you like. But now, even though we don’t talk to often, being that we don’t have much in common, when we do see each other there is love there. Our differances pale in comparisin to the need to care for each other. Not to say that I’m always perfect when it comes to that.
People usually don’t start fights, unless it has already started in their own heart. Maybe at times you might feel happy, then you want to be with other happy people. If you feel upset at a situation, perhaps you’ll want others to be upset too. So if another starts a fight, try to let go of your anger as soon as you can, and try to start loving them as soon as you can. If that only means pray and forgive them do that.
Maybe even if they do that infront of your children, maybe try to use that as a teaching situation. Maybe it’ll teach them, that their own outbursts doesn’t seem like the right choice. It probably won’t be the only fight they see.
It is good to let go of the pride that comes with anger, and embrace humility. If some don’t believe you, remember your Lord sees all. Where you are wronge, your Lord will be in joy, if you let go your proudness and confess. After that embrace Jesus’s commandment, love your neighbor as you do yourself. Perhaps it’s better if you don’t see each other, so just forgive and pray. If you can see them, forgive and pray, and then just try to help them out. It is better to be hurt again than to harden your heart. Oh and if it helps you to tell the story to another, do that too. Make sure your honest where you didn’t handle things properly.
For me, I’ve gotten in a fight with my brother, and I’m sure we both thought we were right. We didn’t talk for a couple years. When I thought about it, it always made me mad. It was not good, nor was I the person I wanted to be. A harden heart might protect you, but it isn’t going to make you a person who you like. But now, even though we don’t talk to often, being that we don’t have much in common, when we do see each other there is love there. Our differances pale in comparisin to the need to care for each other. Not to say that I’m always perfect when it comes to that.
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Celia
Guest
Well, my sister didn’t show up on Sunday because as she told my mom, “she’s too tired to deal with that right now.” 
Whatever.
I just hate that I know she thinks she’s making some big statement by not showing up when really, I’m starting to not care and I was ready to just forget all about it. But she wants to keep the drama going as much as possible. Well, I refuse to be a part of it. When she’s ready to act like the almost-28-year-old that she is, we’ll talk.
Sorry to be venting all over the place but this is really my only outlet for this. thanks
Whatever.I just hate that I know she thinks she’s making some big statement by not showing up when really, I’m starting to not care and I was ready to just forget all about it. But she wants to keep the drama going as much as possible. Well, I refuse to be a part of it. When she’s ready to act like the almost-28-year-old that she is, we’ll talk.
Sorry to be venting all over the place but this is really my only outlet for this. thanks
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OutinChgoburbs
Guest
Here is a safe place to vent. I know that place from which you come.
If I was to list all the verbal and physical family battles I have witnessed or to which I have been a party, I would have to get my own web site, with many, many megs of space, perhpas even gigs. It would be longer than any Greek epic. It would list such weapons as thrown plates of spaghetti, a Pepsi bottle (sixteen-ounce, glass, leaving an imprint in the victim’s lip that read “asu” from the bottom of the bottle), chairs, TV remote controls, air popcorn poppers, and cast-iron skillets. I would have to list my own high school class ring worn on my hand, over a stupid pink sweater that no longer matters or even exists. I have heard loved ones called names I never even heard in the Navy, and were unaware existed. I have watched individuals tear into each other with seething hatred, even people who are relatives and love each other.
I can only say I do my best to control my anger, and to avoid such conflicts whenever possible. I have not been a participant of these knock-downs in decades. I refuse to play mind games as well. This means I have to avoid the triggers. I KNOW my parents will choose my sibs’ side. My mother chose my ex’s side, who was lying in his teeth! Sometimes, people think I’m cold or stand-offish. I’m really very extroverted. I just can’t stand fights and avoid them like the plague!
I walked away from one about five months ago, when a school parent decided to blame me for all her problems. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. She screamed and yelled, and I ached so to tell her what I thought of her. When she reached out to what appeared to me to slap me, I left the room. This person has spread rumors about me. I’ve wanted to tell her off, or even better, punch her one. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is weekly confession, and in my mind’s eye seeing our Lord on the cross. I realize we are occasions of sin for each other, and regrettfully but sensibly avoid her.
It’s conquerable. It just takes time and prayer.
If I was to list all the verbal and physical family battles I have witnessed or to which I have been a party, I would have to get my own web site, with many, many megs of space, perhpas even gigs. It would be longer than any Greek epic. It would list such weapons as thrown plates of spaghetti, a Pepsi bottle (sixteen-ounce, glass, leaving an imprint in the victim’s lip that read “asu” from the bottom of the bottle), chairs, TV remote controls, air popcorn poppers, and cast-iron skillets. I would have to list my own high school class ring worn on my hand, over a stupid pink sweater that no longer matters or even exists. I have heard loved ones called names I never even heard in the Navy, and were unaware existed. I have watched individuals tear into each other with seething hatred, even people who are relatives and love each other.
I can only say I do my best to control my anger, and to avoid such conflicts whenever possible. I have not been a participant of these knock-downs in decades. I refuse to play mind games as well. This means I have to avoid the triggers. I KNOW my parents will choose my sibs’ side. My mother chose my ex’s side, who was lying in his teeth! Sometimes, people think I’m cold or stand-offish. I’m really very extroverted. I just can’t stand fights and avoid them like the plague!
I walked away from one about five months ago, when a school parent decided to blame me for all her problems. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. She screamed and yelled, and I ached so to tell her what I thought of her. When she reached out to what appeared to me to slap me, I left the room. This person has spread rumors about me. I’ve wanted to tell her off, or even better, punch her one. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is weekly confession, and in my mind’s eye seeing our Lord on the cross. I realize we are occasions of sin for each other, and regrettfully but sensibly avoid her.
It’s conquerable. It just takes time and prayer.
C
Celia
Guest
I appreciate your story. Sometimes it’s just too much…
My best friends 23 year old sister died in October in a car crash. (apologies to the forum members that have heard me talk about this before). I had told her about the fight with my sister and she rolled her eyes and said, “that’s ridiculous.” Today she asked me if we still weren’t talking. I told her we weren’t.
She looked down and shook her head, and when she looked up, she looked almost teary-eyed. She just said, “Celia…you shouldn’t…it’s not worth it.” I was like, “I know, J. I know.”
So, now I feel even worse, because I’m still a little angry, over something so dumb…
I’m hoping to get a chance to go to confession soon and speak with a priest, too. I think maybe it will help if he has advice.
I again want to say thanks to those that have helped me along with this…it’s much appreciated.
My best friends 23 year old sister died in October in a car crash. (apologies to the forum members that have heard me talk about this before). I had told her about the fight with my sister and she rolled her eyes and said, “that’s ridiculous.” Today she asked me if we still weren’t talking. I told her we weren’t.
She looked down and shook her head, and when she looked up, she looked almost teary-eyed. She just said, “Celia…you shouldn’t…it’s not worth it.” I was like, “I know, J. I know.”
So, now I feel even worse, because I’m still a little angry, over something so dumb…
I’m hoping to get a chance to go to confession soon and speak with a priest, too. I think maybe it will help if he has advice.
I again want to say thanks to those that have helped me along with this…it’s much appreciated.
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allhers
Guest
I have 8, count em, 8 older brothers and sisters and 6 of them are sisters!! Fortunately, only one is a source of grief, and I avoid her like the plague. I pray a lot, and I have found that it is very difficult to dislike someone if you pray for them. I love her, but I don’t like her.
I am sorry to hear about your grandmother, perhaps this is just a difficult time for all involved, and perhaps too, she is very jealous of the fact that you have someone to share your grief with.
Who knows, most of the time I can’t figure out my own sister,
)she just seems very unhappy, and I want all the best for her.)
I think the best advice I heard on here was to offer it up, great idea, thank you!
Let’s all pray for one another, and our siblings.
I am sorry to hear about your grandmother, perhaps this is just a difficult time for all involved, and perhaps too, she is very jealous of the fact that you have someone to share your grief with.
Who knows, most of the time I can’t figure out my own sister,
)she just seems very unhappy, and I want all the best for her.)I think the best advice I heard on here was to offer it up, great idea, thank you!
Let’s all pray for one another, and our siblings.
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Fashina86
Guest
The best advice ever. We are here to let you vent, and to listen intently, but you do need to forgive and let God take care of the rest.
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Fashina86
Guest
I am sorry… yes I too have fought numerous times with my family memebers (esp my siblings) and know the pain. The lack of trust, however is not there. I am sorry this ended so terribly. I will pray for you!
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