Well, somebody has to be judgemental in the family!

[chabula]

Okay, now. Are we ready?

Yes, Mirdath makes a good point and you made it even clearer.

What the others are saying, and I’m assuming here, is that when you are a devout Catholic, you are called to defend the faith out of love for God. One should do this in a loving way only. Not a condemning way.

Peace!

 

[Light_Seeker]

What the others are saying, and I’m assuming here, is that when you are a devout Catholic, you are called to defend the faith out of love for God. One should do this in a loving way only. Not a condemning way.

That is, by far, the best thing posted in this thread!

 

[Truly_Beloved]

One should do this in a loving way only. Not a condemning way.

I agree 100%, and I believe most of us indeed try to do it this way, which is why it is very hurtful when someone (especially someone who doesn’t know us ) assumes otherwise.

In my particular case, I only give brief, quiet answers when directly confronted. I have never met a fellow Catholic who actively searches for wayward relatives, hoping to catch them unaware, and whack them over the head with the biggest, heaviest Bible they can get their hands on. uch:

My experience may be limited; this is just what I’ve noticed.

 

[duskyjewel]

Well, to clarify one point, my brother brought up the girlfriend (in a previous call) and wanted me to be happy for him. I’m sorry, but I truthfully couldn’t do that. He knew that I was not thrilled, but we were still talking. I did not condemn him.

During the course of our conversation, I asked him only about how he was doing and how things were going concerning his access to the kids. I was trying to support him in whatever way I could. He brought up the girlfriend, saying things were going really great with her. I said, not enthusiastically, “that’s good.” He said he knew that I didn’t approve. I said, you’re right, and was ready to move on. Then he brought up the visit, and I asked about whether that was his time not having the kids, and then it went from there as I described. I did not bring up the girlfriend. I was content to say nothing if it was not brought up to me. I do not go around looking for things to judge him or anyone else on.

As for the “holding the moral line” comment…if no one else in this whole family will tell him his behavior is wrong and is even supporting it, well then, either I am supposed to join them or I am being prideful and elitest? I guess I’ll take prideful and elitest, then, so at least someone is speaking to the interests of those children. If he wants to spend his FREE time with a girlfriend, and spend himself into bankruptcy (again) in order to do it, that is his business, I suppose. But when he is actually robbing his children of time with their father, when it has become so limited, in order to nurture a relationship with a girlfriend, that is wrong, and if he insists on telling me about it, I will respond.

Oh…and my apologies to the mods who edited the title of the thread. Didn’t mean to offend…

 

[burnside]

I know i won’t be allowing myself to be put off by judgemental types who have a habit of accusing other people of the exact same thing.

 

[duskyjewel]

You misunderstand…I do not think I am being prideful and elitest. I meant that I will take the namecalling from others if that is what I have to suffer in order to stand up for the needs and rights of my nieces and nephew.