"Well, that went well. NOT! How to deal with family not supporting your conversion

  • Thread starter Thread starter Cairisti
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Cairisti:
Well, I wasn’t planning on telling my family this early about my RCIA classes, ect as I knew that they might be slightly negative. (My dad’s cousin converted in the 1940’s and my sister is married to a laspsed Catholic… And even though their best friends are Catholic…). Figured I’d let them know when I was sure I’d convert at Easter. However, accidently let it slip and you’d have thought I confessed to converting to the Moonies and was a serial killer.
Got the whole… "why? Just go to the Episcopalian/Lutheran Church. We need to discuss this before you do anything. (uh, I"m an adult last time I checked) Who is influencing you. This is so disappointing. Yada yada/ " And this was just my parents. My two brothers are the worse!

Tried to explain the whole RCIA process, that I felt that I am being led by a Higher Authority to look into the Catholic Church and my attraction to the historical Church. Sadly, they were rather deaf to all I said. (Figured since they are Southern Baptists, they might be sympathetic to the “being led” thing. Wrong. May work for others, but guess when it’s your youngest…)

Anyway, rather discouraged right now. Anyone have similar reactions? Any postitive reactions to your telling your family?
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I’d like to extend you an early welcome to the Persecuted Church.
 
My father proudly said, "I raised 5 children in the Episcopal Church. Today, none of them are Episcopalian but all of them are Christian.

When I converted, I told my parents this (the Catholic Church) is where I found God.
 
Here’s a quote from our Pope that helps me when others do not understand my Faith.:
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“We will go throughout the city, we will pass among the people assailed by thousands of everyday problems, we will go to meet these brothers and sisters of ours and we will show them the Sacrament of Christ’s presence to all: ‘Behold the bread of angels, the bread of pilgrims; the true bread of children.’ In this bread the Almighty, the Eternal, the thrice-Holy has made Himself close to us, has become ‘God-With-Us,’ Emmanuel.”
:gopray2:
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And our resounding–:amen: !:amen:! :amen: !

Pio
 
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Cairisti:
Tried to explain the whole RCIA process, that I felt that I am being led by a Higher Authority to look into the Catholic Church and my attraction to the historical Church. Sadly, they were rather deaf to all I said. (Figured since they are Southern Baptists, they might be sympathetic to the “being led” thing. Wrong. May work for others, but guess when it’s your youngest…)

Anyway, rather discouraged right now.
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You could have told your relatives that you were joining the oldest Baptist denomination, the OHCA Baptist Convention (the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Baptist Convention). 🙂

There are hundreds of Baptist denominations that no one has ever heard of, and since Baptists denominations are all divided over doctrine anyway, you could insist that you are still a Baptist. Why would your relatives object to you joining a Baptist denomination that no one has ever heard about? You are just switching affiliation from the Southern Baptist Convention to the OHCA Baptist Convention, and as long as you are a “Baptist”, it doesn’t really matter what you believe. 😉

Do you want to join the OHCA Baptist Convention? They only have one ordinance necessary to be a member - you just have to accept in your heart everything that the Catholic Church teaches! Can you do that? Good, now you can claim that you are a member of the OHCA Baptist Convention, and your Baptist denomination is just as legitimate as their Baptist denomination. So there. 😛
 
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Matt16_18:
You could have told your relatives that you were joining the oldest Baptist denomination, the OHCA Baptist Convention (the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Baptist Convention). 🙂

There are hundreds of Baptist denominations that no one has ever heard of, and since Baptists denominations are all divided over doctrine anyway, you could insist that you are still a Baptist. Why would your relatives object to you joining a Baptist denomination that no one has ever heard about? You are just switching affiliation from the Southern Baptist Convention to the OHCA Baptist Convention, and as long as you are a “Baptist”, it doesn’t really matter what you believe. 😉

Do you want to join the OHCA Baptist Convention? They only have one ordinance necessary to be a member - you just have to accept in your heart everything that the Catholic Church teaches! Can you do that? Good, now you can claim that you are a member of the OHCA Baptist Convention, and your Baptist denomination is just as legitimate as their Baptist denomination. So there. 😛
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I am still partial to the “First Evangelistic Church of the Nazarene”
 
I have always been LDS, but have not attended the LDS church in a long time. I have chatted about the RCC to my sister, and it is interesting how anti catholic they become and my parents too, when I bring up the subject. I feel drawn to the RCC even though ive had some issues with it for years. It’s like being a closeted catholic, and it can be pretty though.
 
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Geocacher:
I have always been LDS, but have not attended the LDS church in a long time. I have chatted about the RCC to my sister, and it is interesting how anti catholic they become and my parents too, when I bring up the subject. I feel drawn to the RCC even though ive had some issues with it for years. It’s like being a closeted catholic, and it can be pretty though.
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Geoff I urge you to listen to that small still voice that is calling. I just started RCIA having been raised by atheists so believe me the voice was persistent! I am so glad I listened.

Lisa N
 
I think it’s probably true for anything, but the right thing to do is usually the hardest thing to do. I have never been in a situation where the easiest path was the “best” path. You will be blessed for whatever persecution you suffer as a result of your faith. Even if you suffer, suffer for Jesus and His Church. I hope that you come into the Church at Easter!

“Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you and revile you, and cast out your name as evil, on account of the Son of man!” LK 6:22
 
I’m so thankful my Baptist in laws didn’t react like this when my wife converted to RCC. After hearing so many stories I know we are blessed. I feel for those that have all this conflict. I pray that you remain strong and follow your heart and mind into the RCC. Confront your objections one by one. Seek the TRUTH.

good luck.
C’mon Geocacher, stop thinking about it and start living it.:cool:
 
When I converted from the Lutheran Church to the Catholic Church I told some people that I did it so that I could be a more fulfilled Lutheran…😉

I would say to pray for your own continued conversion and theirs. Live out your faith. And, the Lord will take care of the rest.

Jeff Schwehm
 
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Geocacher:
I have always been LDS, but have not attended the LDS church in a long time. I have chatted about the RCC to my sister, and it is interesting how anti catholic they become and my parents too, when I bring up the subject. I feel drawn to the RCC even though ive had some issues with it for years. It’s like being a closeted catholic, and it can be pretty though.
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Carefully examine the doctrines of the Catholic church and you’ll see that not one has been or can be changed only developed and understood better over time. Clearly, the same cannot be said about the LDS church - doctrines have changed and have contradicted one another many, many times in it’s relatively short history. Seek and you shall find the truth!
 
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Cairisti:
Well, I wasn’t planning on telling my family this early about my RCIA classes, ect as I knew that they might be slightly negative. (My dad’s cousin converted in the 1940’s and my sister is married to a laspsed Catholic… And even though their best friends are Catholic…). Figured I’d let them know when I was sure I’d convert at Easter. However, accidently let it slip and you’d have thought I confessed to converting to the Moonies and was a serial killer.
Got the whole… "why? Just go to the Episcopalian/Lutheran Church. We need to discuss this before you do anything. (uh, I"m an adult last time I checked) Who is influencing you. This is so disappointing. Yada yada/ " And this was just my parents. My two brothers are the worse!

Tried to explain the whole RCIA process, that I felt that I am being led by a Higher Authority to look into the Catholic Church and my attraction to the historical Church. Sadly, they were rather deaf to all I said. (Figured since they are Southern Baptists, they might be sympathetic to the “being led” thing. Wrong. May work for others, but guess when it’s your youngest…)

Anyway, rather discouraged right now. Anyone have similar reactions? Any postitive reactions to your telling your family?
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My wife and I have sponsored several people through RCIA. Only one had great difficulty with their family. The bad news is, nothing seemed to work to calm the family. The family tried everything under the sun to disuade the conversion from happening. As you might tell, the family was not just non Catholic they were fiercly anti Catholic. But there is good news also. Fast forwarding 5 years, this new Catholic is now sponsoring her sister through RCIA 🙂

It didn’t happen through apologetics. Although our new Catholic was once married to a Baptist minister, and she knew scripture well, she also recognized once away from the anti Catholic rhetoric, that her understanding about the Catholic faith was wrong. The barriers started to drop like dominos. As she lived out her new life in the Catholic faith, her actions spoke volumes to her family. Apologetic conversations and sparring we often find ourselves in, played a tiny tiny role. Oh she had answers to give her family members when they asked questions, answers they couldn’t ignore, but she didn’t go out to try and convert them with her knew enthuiasm. She acted completely opposite to the style she faced with her family. She stayed calm and cool and went about her life. Her example opened the door to her sister entering RCIA.
 
I can so relate! I started investigating the Church 5 years ago and was confirmed 8/2002. I received nothing but negitivity from my Lutheran/Baptist/NoDom family. Often an occasional snide crack about Catholics was, and is, their form of recognition. The most joyful and saddest day of my life was the day I was confirmed in the Church. Each Candidate and Catechumen was reserved a row of seats for their family members. My seats were all empty. For some of us, it is a lonely walk to find Christ but afterwards, joy, because He walks with us each step of the way. The Church is your family. Stay steadfast!

:blessyou:
 
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Cairisti:
Anyway, rather discouraged right now. Anyone have similar reactions? Any postitive reactions to your telling your family?
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I’ve gone through something simular a couple years back. At first they were very actively against a move away from protestantism, just like yours seem to be. Over time it will sink in, and if they love you, they will begin to accept that you aren’t going to see eye to eye with them. After my parents’s intial “shock and awe” period was over, they started to send me books to read. I read them, and they were silly books with poor argumentation and scholarshp for the most part, so I remained unconvinced, and have politely disagreed since then.

Now we don’t talk much about religion, and when we do it is mostly over subjects where we agree, and not disagree. Mostly because I’ve read quite a bit more than they have and am more familiar with the depth of arguments from both sides, and getting into conversation with me frustrates them.

Anyhow, take care and don’t sweat over it too much. Just give it time and think about what you are doing throughly. Be patient and kind with them and try to explain things to them. Do realize that they love you and want the best for you, even if their version of the best and yours doesn’t match up. Mostly importantly however, say much prayer.
  • Cyprian
 
Ah yes family! I am a revert to the faith and my wifes family members are evangilacal protestants. My wife became a Catholic 10 years after we were married.Her family always thought Catholics were going to hell and that we were all being led astray by that antichrist John Paul II. anyway I was challenged by one of my wifes sisters some 7 years ago on a question of faith and it was the catalyst I needed to start looking for answers.
Since then I have read many wonderful books on our faith and as mentioned earlier my wife has become a Catholic and her family has a whole new opinion on what Catholics are. The key is to attend Mass as often as possible, go to confession at least once a month , get a good Priest to be your spiritual director,study the faith and let the Holy Spirit do His thing.Never be afraid to engage your family perhaps you are the instrument chosen to bring them to the fullness of the truth.
Peace
Paul
 
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Meggie:
I can understand now why Catholocism is so hated, becasue even most Catholics do not understand their faith.
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I respectfully disagree. Those who hate Catholicism hold misconceptions about it.

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂
 
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Meggie:
Its terrible what some parents and sibilings say or do when Catholocism becomes the focus of your life.

My parents are Catholic . . . , They were both raised Catholic and both their parents have a greater knowledge then they do, my mom’s parents are liberal and looser about church laws and my dad’s conservitive and my dad’s parents especally are tied to Catholic devotions. My brothers say that the church “dosn’t really mean” that you have to believe what they say about social issues. All of them go to Church every week.

I guess it dosn’t matter who we are or who are parents are, perhaps in their heart they know its the right thing, but to defend themselves they put their childrend down
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Curious, isn’t it that just about the most horrible thing an adult child can do is to be “more” “religious” than his parents? This automatically makes you nuts and a fair target for all sorts of ‘abuse.’
 
I’m not in RCIA myself, but I can sense that the “end is near” in a way. My pastor knows what’s going down, he has probably been preparing and getting advice from presbytery on what to do with me. But here’s what I do:

I pray kind things for those who oppose my study of Catholicism.

I keep in mind that I don’t know everything there is to know, and that I may learn something that will totally turn me from the RCC.

I don’t spread schism in my church. I only answer Catholic questions when I’m asked, or if it pertains to a sermon my pastor just preached.

You’ve got to have a kind attitude towards those in your life that are most antagonistic. You’ve got to be knowledgeable about what you say, and if you don’t know enough to answer a question, simply say you’ll look into it and get back with them on that.

Something Christ told His disciples is very helpful in times like this:

Matthew 10:16
Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; therefore be shrewd as serpents, and innocent as doves.

You can’t help but consider how shrewd the serpent was in Eden towards Adam and Eve. Christ tells us to be shrewd as serpents. KJV uses “wise” so not like evil and deceptive, but wise. And be innocent. The Spirit came upon Christ when He was baptised in the form of, or like a dove (Luke 3:22). Strive to be that innocent!

Also, if you seek to be all secretive in your Catholic endevours, you are departing from the path of wisdom. Remember,

Proverb 18:1 - He who separates himself seeks his own desire, he quarrels against all sound wisdom.

and

Proverb 11:14 - Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory.

It’s neat reading through all these stories! This will be a thread to remember!
 
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