Well, this sucks

  • Thread starter Thread starter Archus
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

Archus

Guest
I am curious about still feeling sorry for a sin I am certain I was forgiven for. Basically, before I was a catholic, when I was about 14 or 15, I touched up my little cousin. I want to blame it on hormones, but I don’t know, it was years ago.

In confession, I tend to say ‘I commited sinful pleasures’, but that refers to masturbation, and once or twice I said that, but with the above sin in my heart, so the sin has the ‘mask’ of sinful pleasures, but it doesn’t lose any information to God, for he knows my heart.

What I want you to know, is that I am sorry for it, and it still haunts me to this day. When I was confirmed (I was christened an anglican), I went to confession and all of that (man that was scary) and since then in confession this sin genuinely went out of my mind, and thus was lumped into the category ‘and for any that I cannot now remember’.

I still feel horrible about what I did, and I should think if I can resolve it, all will be well. What should I do?
 
first of all you should confess you sins to a priest in the confessional, not on a public forum, and second you should believe and accept the grace of the sacramental forgiveness and absolution. It is perfectly acceptable to confess past sins again if that helps you avoid the temptation in the future, and helps develop proper compunction and contrition for the sin. It is not okay if your peace of mind is disturbed to the point that you cease to believe in the grace of the sacrament. You must also make restitution and reparation, insofar as is possible, and as the priest directs you. another thing that will be spiritually helpful is to watch out for vulgarity in speech and writing.
 
Archus said:
I still feel horrible about what I did, and I should think if I can resolve it, all will be well. What should I do?
Click to expand...
Probably stop diminishing the power of God to forgive your sins, Jesus forgave many, accept that you’ve been forgiven and move on.

If you still meet the other person in everyday life and they remember and bring it up, then apologize, but there is no use in beating yourself up.

If the other person is too young to remember this event then there is no use trying to re-call it to them, and probably a blessing if they don’t remember.

So you’ve been absolved, we have to accept that God forgives, but it sometimes hard to forgive ourselves.
 
Archus said:
I am curious about still feeling sorry for a sin I am certain I was forgiven for. Basically, before I was a catholic, when I was about 14 or 15, I touched up my little cousin. I want to blame it on hormones, but I don’t know, it was years ago.

In confession, I tend to say ‘I commited sinful pleasures’, but that refers to masturbation, and once or twice I said that, but with the above sin in my heart, so the sin has the ‘mask’ of sinful pleasures, but it doesn’t lose any information to God, for he knows my heart.

This sounds like a case for a General Confession. This means serious meditating on the sins of your past life…ALL of them regardless of how embarrassing they be.

This means a thoroughly graphic description of the most haunting sin (the one that has you spellbound) and make an appointment for a General Confession. To do this with an open and honest heart will restore you to the day of your Baptism. You will be completely rid of all guilt and be brand new again. You will walk in the company of your angel and will be filled with inner joy.

I should know…I did it myself.

What I want you to know, is that I am sorry for it, and it still haunts me to this day. When I was confirmed (I was christened an anglican), I went to confession and all of that (man that was scary) and since then in confession this sin genuinely went out of my mind, and thus was lumped into the category ‘and for any that I cannot now remember’.

The great sacrament of Confession makes us one with God.

I still feel horrible about what I did, and I should think if I can resolve it, all will be well. What should I do?
Click to expand...
You can rid yourself of this once and for all. But you cannot be hazy…you MUST be forthright. You will be so glad you did.
 
I sometimes get reminded (by the enemy of Christians) about things that I have done in the past (and have confessed). I need to remind him that (a) I have confessed this; (b) it has been cleaned by Jesus through the Sacrament; and (c) to “get behind me Satan”!!!
 
so… what is a general confession? There are times when the sacrament of reconciliation takes place every saturday, I go every week, is that a general confession, or is it one where I have to set aside extra time other than my usual period of confession?
 
Archus said:
so… what is a general confession? There are times when the sacrament of reconciliation takes place every saturday, I go every week, is that a general confession, or is it one where I have to set aside extra time other than my usual period of confession?
Click to expand...
A General Confession is brought about by a lingering sense of residual guilt of sin(s) of the past that have not been fully confronted and resolved.

It isn’t something one does as a routine but there may be a time in a person’s life and conscience when he/she is troubled by a particular sin or sins. One would have to make an appointment since more time is required. It is a special request but is always available.

It would be a good thing for ALL seminarians before taking their ordination vows to be completely in union with the Blessed Trinity and thereby gain great grace in his priestly mission. It will have a special blessing.

General Confessions make a soul “brand new.” Sometimes I attach Jesus’ words when He says. “…a man must be born again…” This is a “rebirth” from my own experience. It is NOT something that would be discouraged by the Church.
 
Archus said:
I am curious about still feeling sorry for a sin I am certain I was forgiven for. Basically, before I was a catholic, when I was about 14 or 15, I touched up my little cousin. I want to blame it on hormones, but I don’t know, it was years ago.

In confession, I tend to say ‘I commited sinful pleasures’, but that refers to masturbation, and once or twice I said that, but with the above sin in my heart, so the sin has the ‘mask’ of sinful pleasures, but it doesn’t lose any information to God, for he knows my heart.

What I want you to know, is that I am sorry for it, and it still haunts me to this day. When I was confirmed (I was christened an anglican), I went to confession and all of that (man that was scary) and since then in confession this sin genuinely went out of my mind, and thus was lumped into the category ‘and for any that I cannot now remember’.

I still feel horrible about what I did, and I should think if I can resolve it, all will be well. What should I do?
Click to expand...
To gain Peace of soul, if it were me, I would confess the fact that I had touched my cousin improperly when I was about 14years old and had been confessing it as “sinful pleasure” without stating what I had actually done, but still continue to worry about what I did. Then leave the response to Father in Confession.
If I continued to worry about it after that, again if it were me, I would pray to Our Lady to pray for me for the healing of memories and probably seek counselling as well, either from a priest or a therapist. After all a fully confessed sin, even if direly mortal sin, is totally forgiven in Confession. Sure, some of what I have done in my past I still can feel bad about, but it does not torment me … and to feel bad (sorrow) about past sins is not a bad thing, providing one does not torment oneself or feel tormented by what one has done after a good Confession.

God’s Blessings and may He grant you Peace…Barb:)
 
BarbaraTherese said:
To gain Peace of soul, if it were me, I would confess the fact that I had touched my cousin improperly when I was about 14years old and had been confessing it as “sinful pleasure” without stating what I had actually done, but still continue to worry about what I did. Then leave the response to Father in Confession.

Do you believe that would be sufficient to erase the torment in this particular soul? This soul is being nagged and needs to have that vision/haunt ridded once and for all. There is no mild way; it has to be confronted.

Confession is the “baring of one’s soul” to apriest who acts as Jesus Himself. It has been too long.

If I continued to worry about it after that, again if it were me, I would pray to Our Lady to pray for me for the healing of memories and probably seek counselling as well, either from a priest or a therapist. After all a fully confessed sin, even if direly mortal sin, is totally forgiven in Confession. Sure, some of what I have done in my past I still can feel bad about, but it does not torment me … and to feel bad (sorrow) about past sins is not a bad thing, providing one does not torment oneself or feel tormented by what one has done after a good Confession.

IMO, if the guilt is confessed FORTRIGHTLY and descriptively that guilt will be gone FOREVER…it will NOT linger as it has all this time. To confess our most embarrassing sins is NOT cowardice…it is heroic to God and He smiles on that person and brings that person closer to His heart.

This is the awesome nature of the Sacrament of Penance. It allows us all to rest our heads on God’s bosom.

There is no “soft” way to rebuke sin.

God’s Blessings and may He grant you Peace…Barb:)
Click to expand...
Take no offense…please…this is how I see it from my life’s experiences.
 
Archus said:
I am curious about still feeling sorry for a sin I am certain I was forgiven for. Basically, before I was a catholic, when I was about 14 or 15, I touched up my little cousin. I want to blame it on hormones, but I don’t know, it was years ago.

In confession, I tend to say ‘I commited sinful pleasures’, but that refers to masturbation, and once or twice I said that, but with the above sin in my heart, so the sin has the ‘mask’ of sinful pleasures, but it doesn’t lose any information to God, for he knows my heart.

What I want you to know, is that I am sorry for it, and it still haunts me to this day. When I was confirmed (I was christened an anglican), I went to confession and all of that (man that was scary) and since then in confession this sin genuinely went out of my mind, and thus was lumped into the category ‘and for any that I cannot now remember’.

I still feel horrible about what I did, and I should think if I can resolve it, all will be well. What should I do?
Click to expand...
Archus,

Next time you go to confession, don’t lump this sin under the euphemism “sinful pleasures”. Instead, use “sexual sins against myself and against others”. It doesn’t sound as pretty as “sinful pleasures” and it is not supposed to sound pretty. Sin is a terrible thing.
If everytime we sinned we were to contemplate a bloody, bruised, beaten, mangled, nailed and pierced Jesus - as opposed to a glorious, resurrected Jesus, we would place our sins in their true context and consequence.
Your sins, my sins, our sins are horrible.

The Lord will grant you the grace of assimilating His forgiveness when you make a “non-sugar-coated” confession. I promise you.

Please have no doubt that your sin is forgiven! But this is precisely the example of why people who die with the guilt of forgiven sins, go to Purgatory.

Don’t be afraid of openning a can of worms in the confessional. If the priest should ask questions, answer them truthfully. I’m surprised the priest hasn’t asked questions with something as murky as “sinful pleasures”.
My priest wouldn’t let me get away with that kind of wording 🙂

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.
 
There are some sins you will always feel sorry for, even though you know you have been forgiven.

There are sins I’ve committed, where I know I caused great pain to the person I sinned against. Even after going to confession and meeting privately with the person and telling them how sorry I was, and receiving their forgiveness, I still regret the sin I committed.

I don’t think I’ll ever not regret having committed those sins, I don’t think any compassionate human being, will ever forget the sins they committed, especially against other people.

However, it helps me understand how deep the wounds of sin really are. It has helped me to avoid sinning in such a way again.

Jim
 
JimR-OCDS said:
There are some sins you will always feel sorry for, even though you know you have been forgiven.

Remorse is a good thing; it projects what is in the heart.

There are sins I’ve committed, where I know I caused great pain to the person I sinned against. Even after going to confession and meeting privately with the person and telling them how sorry I was, and receiving their forgiveness, I still regret the sin I committed.

I don’t think I’ll ever not regret having committed those sins, I don’t think any compassionate human being, will ever forget the sins they committed, especially against other people.

However, it helps me understand how deep the wounds of sin really are. It has helped me to avoid sinning in such a way again.

Jim
Click to expand...
Well put, Jim. In this case though, it seems like the sin has not been squarely confronted and that is what the lingering guilt is about. Maybe it’s God’s way of directing that soul to come even closer.
 
Being forgiven, sacramentally or not, doesn’t mean you will never ever feel guilt about the sin again. I know from experience that you will… This is possibly your conscience telling you that reparation is needed.

It could be excess scrupulosity - or (most likely) both.

My position is: God forgives; people don’t. At least, people are less capable of 100% forgiveness.

It could be (3rd thing) that you have some kind of pride? I mean, it is awful to think that (as i know so well) that we are capable of this or that sin… & yet, your sins are understood perfectly by the God who created you. He knows the psychological/emotional reasons why you do what you do (or did) even when you do not. (We are fearfully & wonderfully made)

All the psychoanalysis in the world cannot reveal to you why you are who you are, because psychoanalyists are human beings. As you probably know, the greatest psychologist of all is Jesus Christ, therefore my advice is to spend as much time with Him @ the Blessed Sacrament as possible.

I just thought of a 4th thing: The closer a person gets to Christ, the stronger is his/her sense of right & wrong… So I feel you are making more progress, maybe, than you give yourselfe credit for…
Maybe you need a little more patience w/ yourself?

I will keep you in my prayers. Please pray for me also. the thing i most need prayer for is: I need God to reveal his will for me concerning my vocation… (fulfilling it). Thanks. God bless.
 
On the note of general confession, how does one practically confess the sins of over 35 years when one has sinned many times a day on each of those thousands of days?

I hope my confession at the time (after 35 years) sufficed. I confessed the sins that haunted me the most and confessed that my life was sinful for the rest. The priest never suggested I itemize. If he did, I’d still be kneeling in the confessional and that was 5 years ago.

To this day I recall sins I committed that I long since forgotten that I hope I have been forgiven for. I do recall one time saying the the priest that for me to attempt to confess all the sins of my life (since my last confession of 35 years ago), I’d have to write a book as St. Augustine did. After a chuckle, I was assured it was unnecessary.
 
Mijoy2 said:
On the note of general confession, how does one practically confess the sins of over 35 years when one has sinned many times a day on each of those thousands of days?

I hope my confession at the time (after 35 years) sufficed. I confessed the sins that haunted me the most and confessed that my life was sinful for the rest. The priest never suggested I itemize. If he did, I’d still be kneeling in the confessional and that was 5 years ago.

To this day I recall sins I committed that I long since forgotten that I hope I have been forgiven for. I do recall one time saying the the priest that for me to attempt to confess all the sins of my life (since my last confession of 35 years ago), I’d have to write a book as St. Augustine did. After a chuckle, I was assured it was unnecessary.
Click to expand...
It sounds as if you dis as my priest instructed our Candidates for Full Communion …he told them they would know the ‘important’ stuff … the sins that pull at their consciences … no one needs to help you identify those … you know them specifically even if they occurred years ago … for others it is possible to ‘categorizes’ them and not attemtp to number them … after all in a 35 year [to use your example] life time you may know you have spoken lies to numerous to elaborate or individually itemize… you may have used hurtful language with a loved one on far to many occasions … you may even have become conscious of actions that were sinful [that you were not aware where sins when you committed them]…

In the end you know what is necessary to speak out loud and in specifics - the balance you can speak of generally - all are placed before the mercy of God …
 
Mijoy2 said:
On the note of general confession, how does one practically confess the sins of over 35 years when one has sinned many times a day on each of those thousands of days?

I hope my confession at the time (after 35 years) sufficed. I confessed the sins that haunted me the most and confessed that my life was sinful for the rest. The priest never suggested I itemize. If he did, I’d still be kneeling in the confessional and that was 5 years ago.

To this day I recall sins I committed that I long since forgotten that I hope I have been forgiven for. I do recall one time saying the the priest that for me to attempt to confess all the sins of my life (since my last confession of 35 years ago), I’d have to write a book as St. Augustine did. After a chuckle, I was assured it was unnecessary.
Click to expand...
Then why would the Church have a provision for General Confession?
 
johnstown_johnn said:
Take no offense…please…this is how I see it from my life’s experiences.
Click to expand...
Hi JJ…hey! no offense taken:thumbsup: . Most often we all come from and draw from personal experience, and when we do we come from some bias (biased towards our own experience etc) and this is completely normal and to a great degree unavoidable. Bias is not always unhealthy - as for an example I am biased towards the Catholic Church and teaching.

Re feeling sorrow for some particular sin or sins after they have been fully confessed in a good Confession. Sorrow for that sin or sins and particularly if they caused pain or suffering to another can come back at times and this is quite healthy - it does not crush in any way, rather is simply renewed sorrow for past sin and/or the pain brought to another…and other reasons.

Scruples, however, which is a spiritual trial many saints endured can, in part, include crushing guilt for sins confessed fully in a good Confession and a sense of the absence of God’s Mercy despite that confession. This is an interior trial and suffering - and as I stated, endured by many of our saints, although one does not have to be a saint to go through the interior suffering of scruples.

Blessings as this time of Lent draws to its close…Barb:)
 
indeed, for in our greatest darkness lies our greatest hope. Our sins have a mirrored effect: the greater the sin, the greater we realise how wonderful forgiveness is. For every time we stumble from the light, we lose our way; there is nothing to guide us.

Yet, should we stumble and become lost the darkness we ourselves have created, being inclined to such creations, it only makes us realise just how blinding the light really is. We became as lost orphans in that darkness; cold, hungry and unloved. Yet it was only when we looked around us that we realised that we were cold, hungry and inloved. However, our gentle and loving father makes us warm, quenches our thirst, gives us our daily bread, and takes us into his bosom, and with Mary, the sweet and gentle mother who shows us the Way, become reconciled with Christ, who is our brother and redeemer. It is in this that we realise where our heart is - with our family, at home.

If it is to be God’s will for us to go out into that cold, He shall not let us go unprepared. We shall be provided with the gifts and graces necessary to brave the night, and if we become lost, we have only need to cry out, and we will find our way home. In this, our greatest darkness then, lies our greatest hope.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top