Went to a Baptist service

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I recently went to a Baptist church service with a friend of mine. They were having some kind of community outreach or recruiting drive or something, and he needed someone to bring along. Also, he knew that I was feeling kind of hopeless about dating, and I think he wanted to introduce me to some of the single women from his church.

Regardless, I noticed something very interesting. There seemed to be an environment of warmth and friendliness that seems lacking in all of the Catholic parishes where I’ve attended Mass. Everyone seems to know one another and to be genuinely concerned with each other’s well-being.

Now, of course I’m not going to convert or anything. I’m Catholic because I believe the Catholic Church has the fullest understanding of the Truth, not because I get the “warm fuzzies” every time I walk through the door. Still, I think that community building is one area where we, as Catholics, could learn from our protestant sisters and brothers.

What do you think? Does anyone have any ideas for how a parish could build a more vibrant, friendly community among its congregation?
 
I agree with you they’re much better at local outreach than we are. I think this is a comment on Protestant churches generally.

My wife is Baptist, and they make much more effort to get to know people.

I think “home groups” could be an effective starting point for parishes.
 
JorduSpeaks said : "There seemed to be an environment of warmth and friendliness [at that Baptist Church] that seems lacking in all of the Catholic parishes where I’ve attended Mass. Everyone seems to know one another, and to be genuinely concerned with each other’s well-being."

One of MAIN differences I see between Protestant sects and the Catholic Church is people talking to one another.
In a Catholic Mass, people enter the Church quietly, and don’t talk to others … and sit down …and face front.
This method is conducive to making the Mass a personal experience between me and God.

At a Protestant service, most everybody spends several minutes, going from person to person, and say HELLO, and chat about things.
These people know each other by name, and every week they renew their Sunday relationship with each other.
And the loudness level is consistently high until the service actually starts (by the Pastor asking everyone to be quiet).
This method is conducive to making the people attending the service a significant part of the experience, which leaves LESS attention for God.

So, if you prefer socializing, then Protestantism is certainly the easiest way to have that.
I have known several Catholics (over the years) who have chosen to take that other Path.
Good for them. They found a place they feel is Home.

Catholicism is more focused on having a personal experience with God.
This can feel lonely to some people.

There is something for everybody.
I want to have the privacy to be alone with God.
He is a Righteous Dude.
 
@4love2God:

Obviously, that is a false dichotomy. We can have a personal relationship with God and still be a community of worshipers.

I would also point out that privacy is not normally sought out in a room with 50-100 other people.

I’m not saying that a spirit of reverence should not be observed within the sanctuary. What I am saying is that communion with God should not be seen as a substitute for communion with others.

Still, I greatly appreciate your comment for giving me insight into why some people might resist making the Church community a more social experience.
 
Bob_Crowley said:
I agree with you they’re much better at local outreach than we are. I think this is a comment on Protestant churches generally.

My wife is Baptist, and they make much more effort to get to know people.

I think “home groups” could be an effective starting point for parishes.
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👍
 
JorduSpeaks responds : "Obviously, that is a false dichotomy. We can have a personal relationship with God and still be a community of worshipers."

I did not announce a dichotomy
I simply said (or intimated) that when you have just socialized with other people for 20 or 30 minutes before a service, you are (at that time) thinking about those people, and less of your attention is focused on God.
To wit, "This method is conducive to making the people attending the service a significant part of the experience, which leaves LESS attention for God."
I did not say NO attention to God … or, just a little attention available to give to God.
Most people can quickly re-focus on God when the service begins.
But, still, those people will not immediately be close to God.
That closeness comes more-and-more as they stop their thinking about the others there in Church with them, AND focus instead onto Jesus Christ, our Savior.

But, if I walk into a Church, almost-Totally focused on Jesus Christ, that focus will fade away when I talk about earthly things.
For me, I cannot bring myself back to my PEAK level of Spirituality after discussing mundane issues.

What I did NOT say is : If people chat with each other for a few minutes, their minds are CLOSED to God.
 
I am a former protestant and totally relate to what you are saying. I sometimes miss the open friendliness and sharing that I once had. It’s much harder to get to know people in the Catholic church. I have found the only way to do that is to get involved in some group or class. If you just go to Mass, you won’t get to know anyone. That being said, I like the quiet reverence I find in the Catholic church and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love being Catholic!

God Bless You All!
 
I see your point about the lack of initiative at Mass for people to know each other in regards to a Protestant service. But I think that is were we truly differ. A Protestant service is done for the person, a Mass for God. A Protestant service might make people feel welcomed, but remember we have the Mass, the Real Presence, that beats any socializing event.
 
True worship is a faith community coming together to give glory and praise and thanksgiving to our God. Did you find a true worship service at the Baptist church? Baptist services I have attended (quite a few due to extended family of DH) revolve around social activities, the views of the particular preacher and his sermon, singing a few songs and taking up a collection. sometimes, there is an “altar call” although there is no altar. the people are clueless for the most part about what true worship of God really is. It is more of a social club that anything. Of course, they are going to try and recruit more members based on friendliness alone. They really have little else to offer. I always feel sad for the people when I leave. They are truly sincere in their efforts to follow the Lord, but have no idea how to do that, really.
On the other hand, I belong to a very welcoming parish that has a very active social life in the PARISH HALL after Mass. If your church is not welcoming, remember you are the church. Get involved, don’t wait for someone else to do something. Be the change you wish to see. God bless you.
 
BLP said:
I am a former protestant and totally relate to what you are saying. I sometimes miss the open friendliness and sharing that I once had. It’s much harder to get to know people in the Catholic church. I have found the only way to do that is to get involved in some group or class. If you just go to Mass, you won’t get to know anyone. That being said, I like the quiet reverence I find in the Catholic church and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love being Catholic!

God Bless You All!
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👍
 
JorduSpeaks said:
What do you think? Does anyone have any ideas for how a parish could build a more vibrant, friendly community among its congregation?
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Besides being active in CYO I think there is one big way this can be accomplished:

Become involved with you parish council and urge them to do more to increase “fellowship.” Most parish councils are filled with people who are happy with the status quo. This is not a knock on them at all. They ran for their own reasons and focus on those reasons (i.e. Because they are good with money, or wanted to improve CCD or hospital ministry, etc). That’s simply human nature. Join the parish council and make fellowship your personal focus.

Another way is Daily Mass, prayer groups (which discuss prayers before or after) and/or Bible Studies. I find that when I attend these people will open up more because it is a smaller setting.

One major difference to keep in mind between a Catholic parish and a Baptist community is at the Catholic Mass, you might have only 1/8 or 1/10 of the Parish at that mass (because 1: we have many Masses each weekend and because of the sheer number of Catholics who do not attend Mass regularly). Also, not everyone sits in the same pews each week. But if you sit in the same pew each week, in the front, you will eventually meet like minded people on Sundays too.

God Bless
 
JorduSpeaks said:
@4love2God:

Obviously, that is a false dichotomy. We can have a personal relationship with God and still be a community of worshipers.

I would also point out that privacy is not normally sought out in a room with 50-100 other people.

I’m not saying that a spirit of reverence should not be observed within the sanctuary. What I am saying is that communion with God should not be seen as a substitute for communion with others.

Still, I greatly appreciate your comment for giving me insight into why some people might resist making the Church community a more social experience.
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It’s not a false dichotomy. There is a balance during Mass between the prayers going from the people to God and the interaction of the people with each other. One Catholic speaker made the analogy of a cross. The vertical piece of the cross represents the parts of the Mass directed at God. The horizontal piece represents the parts of the Mass directed at the community. The balance is always making sure that the horizontal piece is longer than the vertical one. 🙂
 
Perhaps organizing some kind of after-mass social event with free coffee and donuts in the parish hall might be a good idea. Have the priest announce it one week prior in his announcements so people can plan ahead. If the turnout is good, make it every other week. If turnout is STILL high, make it weekly.

I personally don’t socialize BEFORE mass because I am on my knees praying within 2 minutes of my arrival. AFTER mass when I’m finished singing and the mass is concluded, the only ones left to chat with are my wife, the organist, and the priest. 🤷 But that’s another issue…

If you want to socialize, organize something in your parish. Take the bull by the horns. Bring your Baptist friend to mass if you want company. He might really like it! AND if he REALLY likes the mass, he can take a class that will teach him how he can FULLY participate! It only takes a year, no tuition, all applicants accepted into the class, AND very rewarding!
 
Corki said:
It’s not a false dichotomy. There is a balance during Mass between the prayers going from the people to God and the interaction of the people with each other. One Catholic speaker made the analogy of a cross. The vertical piece of the cross represents the parts of the Mass directed at God. The horizontal piece represents the parts of the Mass directed at the community. The balance is always making sure that the horizontal piece is longer than the vertical one. 🙂
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Did you write the part in bold backwards accidentally? The Mass is primarily and essentially worship of God, not a community gathering. We can have community fellowship without proper worship (eg sporting events, coffee shops, parties, Protestant services) but we cannot have the Sacrifice of the Mass without proper worship. The Mass is meant to be a transcendent moment where we forget ourselves in the presence of the Almighty God. It goes back to the Temple liturgy in the OT. There, again, the focus was on the God being worshipped, not on the people doing the worshipping.

We come together to worship Christ in person in the Mass. If Christ were to appear without the mask of bread and wine would we focus on Him or would we want to make sure “the horizontal piece is longer than the vertical one”?

The proper time and place for the “horizontal” dimension of Catholic life is *outside/I] the Mass. It is once we are sent, Ite missa est - go the Mass has ended - that we are to gather in community and focus on the horizontal bar. The sad fact is that too many Catholics are too eager to rush out of the parking lot, when there ought to be time after Mass outside the sanctuary (where people might well still be in prayer) to socialize and build the bongs that actualize the reality of us becoming “one body”.

Sorry for the rant if you just wrote that wrong, but the attitude that we need to focus on us during Mass is the root of all evil in the Church. That’s not hyperbole. For self-worship is the grossest form of idolatry, which is the worse sin we can commit. I’d take a pagan worshipping a golden statue over a congregation worshipping themselves (with amble applause no doubt) seven days a week.*
 
BLP said:
That being said, I like the quiet reverence I find in the Catholic church and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love being Catholic!

God Bless You All!
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I agree 100%!! The quiet reverence one of the many beautiful aspects of going to Mass, assuming people aren’t actually socializing in the pews! While I understand what the OP is talking about in general, the sanctuary should be quiet and reserved for prayer and worship of God. One evening after Mass concluded one of the EMofHC began a conversation about brewing beer right in the pews to another person while people were trying to pray!!! :eek: Certainly should NOT be done. The Protestant churches I went to growing up, the preacher would have to yell to the congregation that the service was beginning and sometimes it was like hearding cats to get everyone back into the pews!

On the other hand, I would settle for people simply being polite and civil to one another before/ after Mass instead of being rude, pushy and nasty as soon as the walk out of the sanctuary into the Narthex. The Narthex (if your church has one) is really where the socializing and greeting should take place. That being said, it is difficult to meet people and establish friendly casual & social relationships with others in the passing thru of the Narthex. As others have posted, a bible study group or other activity focused group would be the way to go. 👍
 
All being said, i agree that Mass is indeed a time of reflection and examination, prayer and seriousness. But much can be said from the protestant churches going more out of the way to welcome each other as their brothers and sisters in Christ and love of neighbor.

Now i don’t want to offend anyone on here but think of a non-catholic coming to Mass for the first time, alone and doesn’t know anyone. Anxiety through the roof, nervous, scared and then have no one welcome the person, acknowledge their presence, or go out of their way to make them feel at ease in any way. After my first Mass i went home in tears.

There must be a way to integrate new people quickly and make them feel welcome and at ease in the catholic family or the Catholic Church loses some of those souls walking through the doors in search of the Real Presence.
 
Having been a former Protestant I agree with you, when I first starting going to Mass with my husband I had similar thoughts, “Would it absolutely kill these people to at least smile and say hello?” There is a parish in our city of prominent wealthier citizens and if you’re not one of the elite, you might as well just go sit in a corner by yourself. You might feel the love of the Lord while you’re there but you’re not going to feel it from your fellow parishioners. The parish we go to now isn’t like that at all, it’s smaller and the people are just as friendly as any church I’ve been to. They have little social gathering at times and lots of ways for a person to get involved. I agree with some of the other posters you have to get involved in the ministry, just going to Mass isn’t really a social event. Personally, I like the quiet reverence as well.
 
dee_burk said:
All being said, i agree that Mass is indeed a time of reflection and examination, prayer and seriousness. But much can be said from the protestant churches going more out of the way to welcome each other as their brothers and sisters in Christ and love of neighbor.

Now i don’t want to offend anyone on here but think of a non-catholic coming to Mass for the first time, alone and doesn’t know anyone. Anxiety through the roof, nervous, scared and then have no one welcome the person, acknowledge their presence, or go out of their way to make them feel at ease in any way. After my first Mass i went home in tears.

There must be a way to integrate new people quickly and make them feel welcome and at ease in the catholic family or the Catholic Church loses some of those souls walking through the doors in search of the Real Presence.
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Sure there is a way. But it’s not a Catholic vs. Protestant thing. At my parish, anyone who is not recognized will find several people greeting them when they arrive. The ushers make sure everyone has a missalette and hymnal since we don’t keep them in the pews. Father will also greet them after Mass, find out if they are new or just visiting, etc. And they will almost assuredly be “dragged” over to the coffee area. 😃 If it’s the Mass our secretary attends, she will make sure they know how to register and if it’s the Mass our DRE attends, you won’t get out without her having the names and ages of your kids.

But note – ALL of this happens in the hall that you pass through before you enter the nave where we maintain respectful silence until Mass begins.

Our parish is small so this effort is ad hoc but in larger parishes, there is often a welcome ministry whose job it is to greet and acclimate newcomers. If they don’t have that at your parish, offer to start one.
 
I work two jobs a full time and a part time. Sometimes I have to work Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings with the second job and can’t get to mass. But when I do sometimes after mass at my parish they have juice;coffee;and donuts.
The few times i went with a friend to a couple of things it did seem that people were more welcoming or made the effect to at least smile and say hello.She is not a catholic; and these were activities at her church not a regular service.
It seems that if people personally know you or you belong to some group like ladies altar society;Kof C or have kinship through blood or marriage that people gather together in cliques.That is what I think the poster is talking about. It might be nice to have a Welcome Committe’like the old Welcome Wagon to welcome new people to the parish.
Have maybe some people who could rotate the job and bring them information about the parish and the community they just moved to. I think you get what I mean.
Like if there are any young people who belong to the parish who are good baby sitters what activities like CYO etc.there is for kids;even secular activities like YMCA and Baseball and other youth groups.What there is for adults within the parish and where they can go for help if needed.
 
BLP said:
I am a former protestant and totally relate to what you are saying. I sometimes miss the open friendliness and sharing that I once had. It’s much harder to get to know people in the Catholic church. **I have found the only way to do that is to get involved in some group or class. If you just go to Mass, you won’t get to know anyone. ** That being said, I like the quiet reverence I find in the Catholic church and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love being Catholic!

God Bless You All!
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Exactly, join a Bible study or other social group. Go to coffee and donuts (if offered) after mass. Attend parish functions and fundraisers, etc.
 
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