Went to confession and nobody was home

[Mijoy2]

For the second time I went to my relatively large parish (not sure how big but there is over 1000 kids of sunday school age so i’d imagine a few thousand parisheners at least) and the doors to the church were locked and the parking lot empty.

The church bulletin states this time for the sacrement of reconciliation. Wednesday evenings from 6:30 - 7:00

I’m not looking to make a stink about the fact that the pastor was not there, I can either find another place to confess or I can go to the saturday morning time and try again.

What I find disturbing, what passed through my mind was my speculative answers to the question; why was both the pastor not there and why was I only one who was looking to get in?

Apparently the answer to the fact that I was the only one there is as simple as nobody else in the entire parish was going to confession. The fact the pastor was not there is very possibly because he grew tired of sitting in the confessional all alone week after week with nobody coming in.

I think it is safe to conclude that very few people in my parish (and there is no reason to believe my parish is unlike any other) go to confession on any sort of a regular basis. I’d think that even if one or two people showed up for the Wednesday evening sacrament that that would be enough to insure the pastor was there. Apparently nobody ever goes.

This upset me. I believe the sacrement of reconciliation is considered a trivial matter that rarely enters the mind of not some, not most, but virtually all (save a few) catholics.

Unfortunatley, statistically speaking, my data point proves it.

I’d be interested in know the experiences of others in the forum. I could use a lift.

Some of you may be wondering why I am just noticing this. I used to work in the city of Boston and had the wonderful pleasure of being walking distance to St. Anthony’s Shrine, a truly magnificient place run by Franciscan Friers who are gifts from God. Since I’ve come back to the faith about 3 years ago, I’ve been going to confession there on or about my lunch hour. There, the pews are always full and there is always a waiting line for the Sacrement.

 

[Ave_Maria_1]

Which comes first: the priests available for convenient confession or the lines of penitents? From what I have seen–when I travel as no priest in the parishes here would do this–those places that have nearly daily confession, have many people that GO TO CONFESSION!

Where confessions in a 2000 family parish are 45 minutes on a Saturday, there are generally few penitents.

And I have seen where a priest will come and if there are one or two waiting, they will be heard and then the priest does not stick around and just up and leaves!

I am fortunate in that I have a regular confessor in a “retired” priest who hears confessions every Saturday morning. This priest often has more sacramental duties at age 83 than the two 40 something aged priests put together. They like vacations and my confessor likes being a priest.

But I sure have heard it from others who have sought confession at a promoted time and found everything dark. It happens. This sacrament is little appreciated, sometimes even by the confessors to the great tragedy that this is.

Ave Maria!

 

[LilyM]

Well there is a chicken-or-egg question here. You may see lots of people in line at a church that has frequent confession. Are they at that church because they feel the need to confess and that’s the church that has the time that suits them, or are they all people from that parish who are moved to go by the fact that it’s available?

From my own experience, if I am aware of a mortal sin on my soul I often choose to make an extra effort to get to the parish that has the next do-able scheduled confessions. I consider it my obligation to do so, and don’t feel easy until I’ve confessed. If you ask people in line at a parish with frequent confessions it’d be interesting to note how many of them may not be from that parish at all.

 

[jmcrae]

I had something similar happen to me in a small town. (I live in a big city and I’m used to being able to go to Confession pretty much any time I want.)

The sign said that Confessions were heard for half an hour before Mass on Saturdays, but there was no one in the Confessional when I got there, and I couldn’t tell which one (if any) was the priest in the group of people who were chatting on the front step. (I figured out which one was the priest after he put on his Mass vestments, but by then it was too late to go to Confession.)

After Mass, I mentioned to the priest my disappointment about not being able to go to Confession, and he said, “Oh, well, people just come and get me, and then we do it.” So the next weekend, I thought I’d try that, but this time, I couldn’t catch his attention for anything - I even followed him around and tugged on his sleeve for a while, but he kept saying, “Excuse me, I’ll see you in a few minutes.” Well, the next thing I knew, it was time for Mass to start, and I was feeling really, really disappointed.

So after the Mass, he said, “What was it that you wanted, earlier?” so I told him I was trying to come and get him for Confession, as he had mentioned to me the previous week. I think he sensed that I was a little upset, so he immediately brought me to the Confessional and heard my confession, and I was able to do a good one - one thing about it was that although it was like pulling teeth to get to go to Confession, once we were actually in there, he didn’t let anything distract him, and he was really thorough about making sure we didn’t miss anything.

But he probably thinks that not very many people want to go to Confession. Not many people are as stubborn as I am, and I’m sure most people just think “forget it” after they notice that he’s hard to get hold of during the posted time for Confessions, and he probably never even knows that people are thinking of going.

In my opinion - and this is just my opinion - priests need to be in their Confessionals with the lights on and the Church door unlocked, during the time that it says on the door that Confessions are being heard. That way, people don’t have to chase after them, and they can preserve their anonymity, should they so choose.

This is how we do it in the city, and this is what I’m used to. It also seems to work really well, since there are always line-ups for Confession.

 

[Mijoy2]

If you ask people in line at a parish with frequent confessions it’d be interesting to note how many of them may not be from that parish at all.

I’ve thought about this. In the area I now work I went for a ride to the two most nearby parishes to check out the times for confession. To my dismay neither parish has confession at all during the week.

Given that I now work 2 hours from home, I am always either commuting or working. Where my parish has it’s doors locked during the time allocated for confessions, I’m finding this a great deal more of a challenge then I ever thought it would be. Discouraging.

 

[Mijoy2]

In my opinion - and this is just my opinion - priests need to be in their Confessionals with the lights on and the Church door unlocked, during the time that it says on the door that Confessions are being heard. That way, people don’t have to chase after them, and they can preserve their anonymity, should they so choose.

This is how we do it in the city, and this is what I’m used to. It also seems to work really well, since there are always line-ups for Confession.

Great point and I fully agree. Where I was going to my own parish I was a bit concerned about anonymity. I was hoping to find him in the confessional with a line outside kneeling in the pews like I have come used to at St Anthony’s.

 

[LilyM]

It’s a tough situation, even in the more traditional set up, since if you’re there at the beginning of the scheduled confession time the priest may well know who you are anyways because he can see you as he walks in!

I guess the potential embarrassment factor is part of the general deterrent effect intended by the practice of Confession to a priest in the first place.!

 

[jmcrae]

It’s a tough situation, even in the more traditional set up, since if you’re there at the beginning of the scheduled confession time the priest may well know who you are anyways because he can see you as he walks in!

At my home parish, we don’t line up until after the priest goes into the Confessional and closes the door. Before he comes, we stay in our pews and pray for the grace to make a good Confession. So, although he may have noticed some people in the Church (he usually doesn’t even look - he just goes from the Sacristy straight to the Confessonal without looking to the left or right), he has no way of knowing who’s going to be first in line.

 

[LilyM]

Hehe, the place I go usually has healthy lineups, so you’d probably get some most un-Christian fights breaking out if people didn’t stake their spot out before hand …

 

[jmcrae]

Hehe, the place I go usually has healthy lineups, so you’d probably get some most un-Christian fights breaking out if people didn’t stake their spot out before hand …

If there are a lot of people, our associate pastor will also come out and hear Confessions in the confessional on the other side, so we’ve never had a problem with people not being able to have their confession heard. (There is a camera in the church, and they can look at the video monitor in the Rectory to see how many people are waiting.)

There are also three other churches near by, so if it looks like the crowd is going to be ridiculous, it’s pretty quick (5 minute drive) to get to one of the other parishes.

 

[maryj]

the light on our confessionals are always lit when the sign out front says such and such a time. once I was leaving Adoration and went into the main church for confession. The priest was just walking out the side door and I actually yelled to him “Father am I too late” he responded “it’s never too late” We are blessed with three fabulous priests. So in response to your post, I would deffinately call your parish center and ask to speak with your pastor, or perhaps stop by and meet with him personally, and tell him of your concerns. Sounds like you come from a large parish, He must be very busy, perhaps you could offer some kind of assistance also while you are there. Just a thought.

 

[JimG]

I think it is safe to conclude that very few people in my parish (and there is no reason to believe my parish is unlike any other) go to confession on any sort of a regular basis.

Well, it’s unlike mine in at least that respect. We have confessions six days a week and usually there’s a line.

 

[edward_george]

I am in college at Belmont Abbey College in Belmont, NC, and I have to say that the Sacrament of Penance is readily available here nearly every day, and there are a lot of people making use of it, which should carry a small bit of hope for those worried about this discordant generation. The confessors are great too–they’re Benedictines, and they’ll keep you in there for a good while. This is truly an enriching place to receive the Sacrament of Penance, much better than my home parish. My parish priest back home was the king of the twenty second speed confession before Mass (Every confession I’ve had with him has been done properly, just rushed). It’s nice to actually have a little bit of time to be properly confessed here, as well as to get decent penances–my parish priest gave the standard “do something nice for somebody” penance, which is far too vague.

Pax Domini Sit Semper Vobiscum
-ACEGC

 

[Fitz]

I had a problem with my parish not having confession very often and when they had it, it was at a time that was inconvenient. So I went online and made myself a list of all the neighboring parishes between home and work. I made a list of all their confession times. I now choose the place by the time I have available.

I vacationed in NYC this summer. It was awesome. I went to several parishes and they have confession all day log every day. Awesome for sure!

Listening to Relevant Radio last week I heard a parish priest from Lafayettee Indiana and he says they have confession very often and it is very crowded. He has made this a priority and the people have responded to it very well. So getting to the point of what comes first, the priest or the people- I will have to say I think it is the priest making it very easy to go to confession and then also instructing people to the availablity and the need. It wasn’t until I listened to Relevant Radio on a regular basis that I began to use the sacrament more often. I had fallen into some very lazy and bad habits. I now love going to confession and I feel the grace.

 

[proudnifi]

My local parish has confession scheduled for an hour once a week. There has been a line each time I have gone. In fact, I have gone twice without getting to go to confession.
So, people are still going. : )

 

[ElizabethPH]

Hi,

Today I went to the 5:30 Wednesday confession. And there was no one there! Not even the priest. So I know how you feel. I just took a week away from home, a short vacation. When I returned, I went to confession today to find that the priest was out of town. No confession today and no Mass. I had waited an hour doing various things in that part of town as at the price of gas I found it hard to go home and then come back; and then to find no one was there afterall. I called different parishes in other communities and they all only have Saturday confession. With the exception of the Wednesday one; and then there was a no show. I called a parish about 20 miles from here and the priest (Monsignor) actually called me…and told me the times he does confession which was only twice a week…and if you want you can call for an appointment. But it’s so far away, I can hardly afford gas as it is. And then I do like the privacy of the confessional, opposed to an appointment.

I know I should have lifted it up today But I did become rather irrate to say the least. But now as a little time has passed, I have prayed about it, and will just have to wait till Saturday.

Thanks for reading

Elizabeth

 

[paramedicgirl]

At our parish, which is very small, we just ask the priest to hear our confessions, and he does. Often, people will notice he has gone to the confessional and a small line will form, usually on Sunday after Mass. We don’t have scheduled times.

When I go to St. Anthony’s in Calgary to the TLM, there are long lineups before Mass, and the priest will announce he is hearing confessions after the Mass, and another long line will form. I wish I lived closer, as I love that Mass!

 

[palmas85]

For the second time I went to my relatively large parish (not sure how big but there is over 1000 kids of sunday school age so i’d imagine a few thousand parisheners at least) and the doors to the church were locked and the parking lot empty.

The church bulletin states this time for the sacrement of reconciliation. Wednesday evenings from 6:30 - 7:00

I’m not looking to make a stink about the fact that the pastor was not there, I can either find another place to confess or I can go to the saturday morning time and try again.

What I find disturbing, what passed through my mind was my speculative answers to the question; why was both the pastor not there and why was I only one who was looking to get in?

Apparently the answer to the fact that I was the only one there is as simple as nobody else in the entire parish was going to confession. The fact the pastor was not there is very possibly because he grew tired of sitting in the confessional all alone week after week with nobody coming in.

I think it is safe to conclude that very few people in my parish (and there is no reason to believe my parish is unlike any other) go to confession on any sort of a regular basis. I’d think that even if one or two people showed up for the Wednesday evening sacrament that that would be enough to insure the pastor was there. Apparently nobody ever goes.

This upset me. I believe the sacrement of reconciliation is considered a trivial matter that rarely enters the mind of not some, not most, but virtually all (save a few) catholics.

Unfortunatley, statistically speaking, my data point proves it.

I’d be interested in know the experiences of others in the forum. I could use a lift.

Some of you may be wondering why I am just noticing this. I used to work in the city of Boston and had the wonderful pleasure of being walking distance to St. Anthony’s Shrine, a truly magnificient place run by Franciscan Friers who are gifts from God. Since I’ve come back to the faith about 3 years ago, I’ve been going to confession there on or about my lunch hour. There, the pews are always full and there is always a waiting line for the Sacrement.

Just an opinion mind you, but it appears that when the Sacrament is reduced to one hour per week or less, at fairly inopportune times, few people willt take advantage of it. Couple that with the apparently prevailing view that few if any people would knowingly commit a sin that would cut them off from God and you have the situation where no one needs to confess because no one commits mortal sins. All very modern, man centered and non judgemental.

In the past several years though some churches have started instituting confessions prior to mass. In at least two Churches here in San Diego, confession is offered prior to every Mass:thumbsup: , every day, and people are encouraged to go…

Guess what?

They have lines of people waiting every day to confess.

The Father at one of the Churches said he had always felt that most people have an interior need and desire to confess and if given the urging and opportunity to do so, they will.

 

[Tabitha]

Just an opinion mind you, but it appears that when the Sacrament is reduced to one hour per week or less, at fairly inopportune times, few people willt take advantage of it. Couple that with the apparently prevailing view that few if any people would knowingly commit a sin that would cut them off from God and you have the situation where no one needs to confess because no one commits mortal sins. All very modern, man centered and non judgemental.

I’ve had a priest tell me that most sins are not mortal. Just ones like murder and even then it depends on the circumstances. He’s the biggest reason I don’t like going to confession locally. He said no one is “worthy” to take communion anyway even if you just came from confession before Mass so why bother confessing when all your sins will be wiped away anyway after Mass? His words, not mine.

 

[LilyM]

I’ve had a priest tell me that most sins are not mortal. Just ones like murder and even then it depends on the circumstances. He’s the biggest reason I don’t like going to confession locally. He said no one is “worthy” to take communion anyway even if you just came from confession before Mass so why bother confessing when all your sins will be wiped away anyway after Mass? His words, not mine.

:nope: :crying: :banghead: :nope: unbelievable!