We're supposed to stay away from things that could get us sexually aroused, but just talking to a beautiful woman gets me sexually aroused. What shou

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When I have to talk to a beautiful woman what am I supposed to do?
 
What about fortitude? Maybe you could see this as an exercise in strengthening your fortitude and learning to “do the right thing”. Wasn’t it CS Lewis who said that we never know how hard it is to be good until we try??

First of all, I think we all need to pray more and God’s will give us grace to be stronger and wiser. After all if we are weak and defenseless almost anything can be an occasion of sin. For example, I work with a bunch of men who I swear could turn The Hail Mary into a dirty joke. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with The Hail Mary. (this is true, I’m not making it up)

Its a matter of accepting that we are human and we are going to have these problems - I know that I do. But God does not want us to hide out in our homes in fear. God gave us a brain and he expects us to use it. We have our free will and God expects that we are going to make better decisions than cats and dogs do.

Keep trying and you’ll be stronger - no one is perfect so don’t expect perfection out of yourself.

Just my thoughts

Terri
 
keep your eyes focused on hers. If you are still feeling aroused, say a silent prayer & ask for the grace to overcome it.
 
Practice controling yourself and make yourself stronger within yourself.
 
Snap, Snap! Eyes up here! 😃

Strange thought, but try thinking about the person inside…think about her brain.

Works for me. 🤷
 
livingoutloud said:
When I have to talk to a beautiful woman what am I supposed to do?
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I identify with you, here. What has worked for me is to realize that there is no disconnect between beautiful girl, daughter, wife, mother, nun. They are all (possible) sides of the same woman. If I find myself dwelling on lustful thoughts, I just start to picture her in a home setting teaching her children, or in a habit praying the rosary, or at the altar getting married, or in a hospital praying at the bed side of her sick husband. There are many other situations that I can mentally conjure up to make me realize who she was/is/will be. This helps me take away from my immediate thoughts.

Now, sometimes, I can’t seem to picture these things. I then say to myself, “How would I feel if someone was thinking that of my wife or my mother or my daughter?”.

Before any of this, I pray, confess, and hope for a change in my thinking. This works great, although I have to continue to be diligent in my prayer.

I will pray for you on this.👍
 
Do your best to dismiss those thoughts and start studying Theology of the Body.
 
Hi,

Actually, I believe there is nothing wrong with being aroused… it is a normal body function that was designed.

It is when we start to take sinful reactions from being aroused that it really becomes sinful.

I believe it was Aquinas who said there are levels
  1. Thought (Fantasized) but is immediately rejected by will. (Ok)
  2. Thought is entertained but does not go to action ( venial )
  3. Thought is entertained, and goes into sinful action ( mortal )
I might be wrong in the details, but I believe that is the gist.

God bless!
 
Do the opposite of Homer Simpson:

“Homer, my eyes are up here.”

Homer: “I’ve made my choice.” (still looking down) 😃

All joking aside,

As others have said, just look into her eyes. You can see the inner beauty of a person through his/her eyes. It takes you beyond the sexual attraction of a person. I’m a woman, so I fortunately don’t have the same kind of trials as a man, but I believe my husband will do that - just look at the woman’s eyes, not even focusing on the rest of her features.
 
Try to concentrate on what she is saying… and think of a sour lemon
 
The whole “look deep into her eyes” thing doesn’t help me much; I consider the eyes one of the most beautiful/sexy parts of a woman. 🤷

As somebody said, you can’t stop birds flying over your head, but you can stop them making nests in your hair. Impure thoughts will come; you must train your will to reject them rather than meditate on and indulge them. Prayer is essential-- don’t kid yourself, you won’t be able to overcome without God’s grace. Good luck and pax tecum, Phil
 
Sarabande said:
I’m a woman, so I fortunately don’t have the same kind of trials as a man, but I believe my husband will do that - just look at the woman’s eyes, not even focusing on the rest of her features.
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Woman here 👋

Woman can have the same problem!
Guard your eyes. Try your best to keep the ol’ flat fish eye appearance if you must look.
What works best for me? Avoid all situations that might tempt the eye.
I rarely allow myself to face another man other than my DH and I don’t even wear a burka and no I’m not a recluse.
 
jabelltulsa said:
I identify with you, here. What has worked for me is to realize that there is no disconnect between beautiful girl, daughter, wife, mother, nun. They are all (possible) sides of the same woman. If I find myself dwelling on lustful thoughts, I just start to picture her in a home setting teaching her children, or in a habit praying the rosary, or at the altar getting married, or in a hospital praying at the bed side of her sick husband. There are many other situations that I can mentally conjure up to make me realize who she was/is/will be. This helps me take away from my immediate thoughts.

Now, sometimes, I can’t seem to picture these things. I then say to myself, “How would I feel if someone was thinking that of my wife or my mother or my daughter?”.

Before any of this, I pray, confess, and hope for a change in my thinking. This works great, although I have to continue to be diligent in my prayer.

I will pray for you on this.👍
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Your answer is really beautiful. Great attitude!
 
livingoutloud said:
When I have to talk to a beautiful woman what am I supposed to do?
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If I remember right from my high school religion classes, this is step one in God’s procreation plans. Do you wish to go to step 2? or better yet, CAN you go to step 2 without sinning or stepping in on someone else’s territory? 🙂

On the other hand, if it’s work related, then the work should absorb your “perverted” thoughts, so just do your job and play cool. (My father’s favorite reply to many of his kids’ problems was “Stay cool.” Good words.)

I think we’ve all been there. The thoughts and feelings are quite normal, no need to blame the devil and all that, but never forget God in the equation. When God is recognized, the thoughts should not overwhelm you.
 
nichjake said:
Practice controling yourself and make yourself stronger within yourself.
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I’m perplexed. I would affirm that not lusting upon women is wrong because ultimately God says it is wrong because He tells us it harms us and can put us into eternal death.

However, with all due deference why to you would lusting be wrong if there is no God?
 
There is nothing wrong with you, as long as you don’t start lusting.

Inevitably if there is a beautiful woman, you will get aroused 90% of the time. I do a lot, but I don’t lust, plus in the teenage years, it happens a lot, randomnly, even when there is nothing to be aroused of.

Just don’t lust.
 
Bishopite said:
I’m perplexed. I would affirm that not lusting upon women is wrong because ultimately God says it is wrong because He tells us it harms us and can put us into eternal death.

However, with all due deference why to you would lusting be wrong if there is no God?
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BIG TYPO HERE on my part.
I meant to say "I affirm that lusting upon women is wrong."
**Sorry.😊 **
 
Confused_1 said:
There is nothing wrong with you, as long as you don’t start lusting.

Inevitably if there is a beautiful woman, you will get aroused 90% of the time. I do a lot, but I don’t lust, plus in the teenage years, it happens a lot, randomnly, even when there is nothing to be aroused of.

Just don’t lust.
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I agree with this and frankly am confused why it seems that many people have assumed that there is a lust issue when the original question says nothing at all about lust, just arousal.
 
CuriousInIL said:
I agree with this and frankly am confused why it seems that many people have assumed that there is a lust issue when the original question says nothing at all about lust, just arousal.
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Difficult to distinguish between the two. Both are created by chemical reactions within the body. Once started, they become very complex and one can easily become obsessed by the process, which in itself is very natural and normal. The important thing is to recognize that is a gift from God and be positive. To tell someone NOT to think about something only drives that person to think about it more. Prayer is positive as is working on some other matter. It’s the idle mind that is most vulnerable.
 
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