Were the Nuns really that bad?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Alex1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
In my Catholic school, they were amazingly gentle. This was in the 70’s. Nearly every nun I have ever met has been a paragon of virtue. I admire them greatly.
 
In my case, it was an awful experience that drove me away from the church for many years. I’ve returned. I have friends who are nuns, brothers and priests. They are wonderful people, but when I went to Catholic school in New York during the 1960s, most of the nuns were downright abusive, sometimes physically and often emotionally. Contrary to what another commenter suggested, it was not necessary. I switched to public school after the eighth grade and was floored by how kind the teachers were. The students did not behave any worse than the Catholic school students. I forgive those nuns for what they did, but it did a lot of damage to me and I will not sit by when people insist that the negative side to parochial school is an urban legend or that abusive behavior was necessary to keep us in line. I was there. You were not. The abusive behavior of the nuns was completely unnecessary as my public school experience in the same town amply demonstrated. And this has nothing to do with misogyny., I have very positive memories and feelings about many female lay teachers I had, both in Catholic school or in public school, and I have very good feelings for nuns I know today.

Recently I found my parochial school class on Facebook. Most of us haven’t been in contact with one another 35 years. What happened at my school isn’t in my imagination. We all remember the truth about what happened to us. Insisting it didn’t happen will not change the truth.
 
In my Catholic school in the 80’s, the nun’s were mostly kind. So kind in fact, that we kids would always ride our bike to the school to play with the nun’s. 😃 The priests and deacon lived in the rectory, and the nun’s convent was on the same grounds as the school and church. We would play at the school, and the deacon would throw ball with the boys, and the nun’s would bake cookies and let us color or (as we got older) help them make stuff for the classroom.

But there was that one awful nun. But the principal kept her somewhat in line (she couldn’t hit us) , and I don’t think it was because she was a nun, it was because she just wasn’t nice. She would just find the meanest thing she could do, and then smile this awful smile while she was doing it.

I think its a shame, none of my children have ever been taught by a nun at the parish school. In fact, up to last year none of them had ever met a nun.
 
I think it should be remembered that in some congregations they didn’t choose to be teachers, they were told they were going to be teachers, or nurses, or whatever. That had to be a real cross to bear if you wanted to be a nurse or if you didn’t like kids. At the local convent, which was also a boarding school for a while, the nuns who couldn’t do anything else were put in charge of the dormitories. There, bed-wetters were abused and humiliated. One relative who, along with his brothers and sisters, was shipped off to the convent as soon as he started school, would often tell the stories and we thought he was exaggerating until his brothers and an aunt, who was doing a commercial course at the same convent, confirmed that he had been abused.

I was the grade one Sister’s pet. I’m 57 now and at home it’s still brought up along nickname it earned me. She was always kind to me but she could be a witch with others.

I’ll never forget the day a 6 year old broke wind in class. She opened the window of our second story class room and sat him on the ledge with his bum hanging outside. How scary and humiliating for that little boy! There was also the day she picked 3 students, including me, to go around smelling the others and report to her whether they smelled of urine or feces. My mother was livid that night but, because of my parents’ policy with us that the teacher was right whether she was right or wrong, never said a word and that kind of thing continued.
 
My Dad was mistreated by the nuns at his school. He was in elementary school in the 60s. He’s left handed but they tied down his left hand and made him write with the right and now his handwriting is atrocious (still left handed). He was also hit with rulers, etc. Large part of the reason he will not return to Catholicism which is too bad. 😦
I’m sure it depends largely on the school or teacher though. But I think it is sad any educator would shame and hit a child.
My mother shared this fate. She went to school in the late 30s. Writing left was not tolerated. She learned to write with her right with poor penmanship, but did everything else with her left.

After his mother died, my father and his two older brothers spent several years at a nearby orphanage here in Baltimore. At age 5, he is separated from his brothers because the dorms are by age group. They would usually be allowed to go home on weekends by walking and taking the trolley. One weekend, his brothers had been told that because of some infraction that they were not allowed to go home. My father, at age 6, made the trip himself. When he returned Sunday evening, a nun took him upstairs to give him a bath. After the bath, she used a cane to beat him black and blue. When he went home a week later, he was still carrying bruises from his middle back to his calves. He expected his father to have done something to defend him against such brutality. He didn’t. I guess having “daycare” was more important to him. My father never forgave him for that.
 
I have a good friend who left the Church largely due to the harsh treatment he received from the nuns . Went to 12 years of Catholic schools, he’s an upright man , just doesn’t want anything to do with the Catholic Church. No reason to doubt any of his stories of their meaness. It seems like someone overseeing the nuns would have to notice abuse going on or excessive discipline. Hopefully things have changed a lot since then.
 
Nuns when I was growing up were much like apostles: 11 out of 12 are saints. But #12, YIKES!

I know too few nuns these days to say if its changed.
 
What about those Irish nuns who ran those sweatshops for women who were raped (assumed to be promiscuous and tempted the men in the first place). I believe there was a film about it, can’t remember what it was called though. Oh yes I do" The Magdeline Sisters.
 
What about those Irish nuns who ran those sweatshops for women who were raped (assumed to be promiscuous and tempted the men in the first place). I believe there was a film about it, can’t remember what it was called though. Oh yes I do" The Magdeline Sisters.
Great film! It portrayed unmarried young women who were pregnant being ‘cared for’ in a convent.The convent schools I went to both Primary School & Secondary were not like that.Yes they were strict but they taught me good things that will stay with me forever.
It is shocking and very upsetting to hear or read of people who have been abused or taken advantage of in any way shape or form anywhere.It certainly makes it much worse if they are people who have dedicated their lives to God.They will be answerable to God if they have indeed hurt either emotionally or physically others in their care and they bring the name of catholicism into disrepute.
 
Great film! It portrayed unmarried young women who were pregnant being ‘cared for’ in a convent.The convent schools I went to both Primary School & Secondary were not like that.Yes they were strict but they taught me good things that will stay with me forever.
It is shocking and very upsetting to hear or read of people who have been abused or taken advantage of in any way shape or form anywhere.It certainly makes it much worse if they are people who have dedicated their lives to God.They will be answerable to God if they have indeed hurt either emotionally or physically others in their care and they bring the name of catholicism into disrepute.
You imply that these women had sinned, some of them were there simply for being deemed “too attractive” (one woman was sent there because some men flirted with her even though she didn’t respond). There was a woman who was raped, so she was blamed for it and sent to this place because she MUST have tempted them. The only way they could leave is if a family member collected them, which was difficult even if they wanted to because the women were moved around so much. Some women escaped and spoke of having their hair ripped out and being blamed for being raped because they must have tempted. There are hundreds of unmarked graves in the old laundryhouse sites which show signs of an unnatural death.

Was there an official response to this when it was uncovered?

Edit: They weren’t schools, they were laundry businesses which told the women that the only way they could repent for their “sins” (some were blameless, but those who did commit sins in no way deserved these places) was to effectively work the rest of their lives in horrdenous conditions while it was reported the nuns were very well-off. It is despicable that they were allowed to continue.
 
Because nuns are sinners and have weaknesses like we all do, there is bound to be some stories that are quite unpleasant.

My beloved Godmother, my aunt Mary, went to parochial school and she remembers being rapped on the knuckles with a ruler when she did not know the answer to a question asked of her. She knows it was unkind and wrong for the nun/teacher to do that, but she never lost her faith over it. She was a wonderful example of a devoted Catholic to her children and all her neices, nephews, and grandchildren.
 
You imply that these women had sinned, some of them were there simply for being deemed “too attractive” (one woman was sent there because some men flirted with her even though she didn’t respond). There was a woman who was raped, so she was blamed for it and sent to this place because she MUST have tempted them. The only way they could leave is if a family member collected them, which was difficult even if they wanted to because the women were moved around so much. Some women escaped and spoke of having their hair ripped out and being blamed for being raped because they must have tempted. There are hundreds of unmarked graves in the old laundryhouse sites which show signs of an unnatural death.

Was there an official response to this when it was uncovered?

Edit: They weren’t schools, they were laundry businesses which told the women that the only way they could repent for their “sins” (some were blameless, but those who did commit sins in no way deserved these places) was to effectively work the rest of their lives in horrdenous conditions while it was reported the nuns were very well-off. It is despicable that they were allowed to continue.
Hi L&L I didn’t mean to imply anything at all.I was just talking about the film in general.I went to catholic convent schools and I was talking about my own experiences.
Back to the film I don’t know how much of it is true and it is deeply shocking if it is.As I said before
"It is shocking and very upsetting to hear or read of people who have been abused or taken advantage of in any way shape or form anywhere.It certainly makes it much worse if they are people who have dedicated their lives to God.They will be answerable to God if they have indeed hurt either emotionally or physically others in their care and they bring the name of catholicism into disrepute. "

Just to clarify I was stating (about the film)that the nuns lived in a convent and thats where the girls were sent,not that it was a convent school.I remember crying when I sam the film (ages ago).I didn’t realise it was true I thought it was fiction
 
Because nuns are sinners and have weaknesses like we all do, there is bound to be some stories that are quite unpleasant.

My beloved Godmother, my aunt Mary, went to parochial school and she remembers being rapped on the knuckles with a ruler when she did not know the answer to a question asked of her. She knows it was unkind and wrong for the nun/teacher to do that, but she never lost her faith over it. She was a wonderful example of a devoted Catholic to her children and all her neices, nephews, and grandchildren.
There are nuns that sin, then there is a massive organised movement of nuns which carry out atrocities and succeed in covering them up on a great scale - the very set-up of these laundry places was evil - why where they allowed to continue for years and years?
 
There are nuns that sin, then there is a massive organised movement of nuns which carry out atrocities and succeed in covering them up on a great scale - the very set-up of these laundry places was evil - why where they allowed to continue for years and years?
I was talking about the nuns that were teachers in parochial schools, I did not know there was another topic being discussed, (the laundry horror stories).

I don’t know much about that, but I suppose it was not well-known by the powers that be that should have known. I hope and pray such a scenario will never exist again.
 
It’s hard to generalize, because orders were different, individual nuns were different, and students were different. But I’ll say this anyway.

I went to a Catholic grade school where the teachers were of an order mainly composed of western and upper midwestern farm girls. Some were extraordinarily kind. Some were on the hard core side, or could be. Most were simply “no-nonsense”, neither unusually kind nor particularly harsh.

They were very serious about what they were doing. You learned. One way or another, you learned. They wouldn’t put up with slacking, and they had a dozen ways to harness you to the education wagon.

They absolutely wouldn’t put up with misbehavior. We had three grades to the room and there was no talking if your class wasn’t in session, and if you did anything but your work, you were called out for it. Astoundingly, in this day of “smaller classrooms” and “lower teacher/pupil ratios”, it all worked. It didn’t matter how poor your English was or how bad your writing was, or anything else. By the time you got out, you could speak impeccable English and write coherent sentences and paragraphs.

If you were a girl, there was really no harshness experienced. The nuns treated them kindly. If you were a boy, you were under suspicion at all times, and for good reason. And you were certainly punished for misbehavior (to which we were given if one tells the truth). There was no Ritalin for hyperactivity. No special classes if somebody thought you were ADHD. You just plain had to behave, study and learn. And we all did, too.

If your behavior was unusually bad, you were sent to the priest’s house. The priest didn’t hit anybody or anything. But compared to his lectures, a smack from a nun’s ruler would have been a blessing.

And your parents supported their decisions, no matter what.

I think maybe my favorite was the convent housekeeper, who was also the cook. She often would recruit a few boys during recess for some kind of lifting or carrying or other heavy work. She paid for it with cupcakes, warm fresh slices of bread with butter, and so on. A wonderful form of servitude, or so we thought, because school age boys are hungry 100% of the time.

Now and then there might be a nutty sister, and I had one of those. But still, she had us doing algebra problems successfully in the eighth grade that I never saw again until late in the public high school, and there was no sentence so complex that the least talented of us could not diagram successfully. When I got to high school, I had the whole literature book read by October, and my Catholic school educated classmates were always high in the public high school rankings.

But even the nutty nun had the most wonderful stories to tell; taught us all how to dance during the noon hours and introduced us to classical music. My parents must have thought I had gone mad when I requested classical records for my birthday or for Christmas.

No, they did all right, those nuns.
 
I went to Catholic school as a child in the 90’s and the worst thing the nuns ever did was make me miss recess. Also they made the noisy kids write “I will not be loud during class” or something to that effect 50 times. There was nothing crazy happening in my school. As for things that happened a long time ago, you have to understand that corporal punishment was okay both in public and private schools back then, and for all teachers, nuns included, it was not unusual for a child to be spanked or have their wrist slapped with a ruler. Any case with abuse or unreasonable punishment was most likely the teacher’s fault, and does not represent teachers or nuns in general. You can’t judge a whole group just by one person. Hope this helps. 🙂
 
I went through Catholic schools all through the 60’s and into the early 70’s with the same order of nuns. Most of them were lovely women except for two with reputations for being uncharitable and mean. One would constantly punish by having you write the Our Father or the Creed, I would say 20 or more times for homework. I once broke my arm and stayed out of school for a week and I got punished because it was not my writing arm so I could have gone to school. But I think my mother called in and complained because after that she was nicer to me.

The sister I really disliked was my 6th grade teacher. I bit my nails and I think she thought she was going to make me stop, so my job in class was to remove the staples from the cork board. Of course I could not do it without nails and I remember standing there crying and crying in front of a whole class. I never did stop biting my nails well into adulthood and still occasionally will bite them if I get nervous (although I do grow them long most of the time) She would also make kids who were caught chewing gum put it on their nose all day. I remember her smacking boys on the head and pulling ears.

I guess the sisters had to be tough with 60 kids in a class, but some of them really didn’t know how to discipline kids correctly and would be brought up on charges today.
 
It’s always wrong to generalize. Priests and nuns are sinners, yes, but I had loving parents who were concerned about my welfare. If anything out of the ordinary occurred at my Catholic school in the 1960s, they heard about it. My mom was friends with a few of the nuns. A convent was on the school grounds. Regardless of what Order the nuns belonged to, the school, even though Catholic, was bound by State law regarding certain things.

Across the street, the local public school was behind us in terms of homework and general academic achievement. A few of them would come over and threaten a ‘rumble’ against us Catholic kids.

Discipline for young people is very important. The nuns, and lay teachers, helped reinforce a strong work ethic and self-discipline in us. I recall one nun telling us in high school regarding homework: “You think this is bad? Wait till you get to college.”

It was the media, through derisive plays and movies, who turned nuns into caricatures and put them down. Yes, a few nuns really struggled to maintain discipline at times. Our class always had a few troublemakers, including myself on a few ocassions. Kids are full of energy but learning to control that energy meant something positive. I still miss that school because we were taught properly, high standards were set and discipline was enforced. By the time I got to college, nothing was that difficult, and everything I was taught was useful.

Peace,
Ed
 
I think you have to put those stories in the context of when they occurred. During that time many of the forms of punishment were common practice in education. I really think Catholic education has slid since there are fewer nuns teaching. Really the whole bad nun thing is blown way out of proportion.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top