Were the Nuns really that bad?

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Technically, I think nuns are in a convent/monastic order and sisters are out in the world. Most of the sisters I had were kind. I have good memories of one who carved musical notes out of wood and gave me one along with the rest of the class, it was a quarter note I think.

However one sister was mentally unstable to the point where she would have screaming fits at the class in general and one day she damaged the doors. The doors to the classroom both had small square glass windows in them. She slammed the doors so hard that she shattered the glass in one of the windows and broke the doorknob on the other one. She really should have been removed after that b/c we were all afraid of her and she risked a breakdown in front of everyone; in fact I think that’s basically what was happening.

However no one else was like that. Everyone was either kind or OK. I think this sister left the order; she was probably encouraged to leave. The one priest I remember who was mentally unstable, same thing, he was encouraged to leave.
 
Paul1961 said:
My mother shared this fate. She went to school in the late 30s. Writing left was not tolerated. She learned to write with her right with poor penmanship, but did everything else with her left…
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My mom was also forced to write with her right hand and suffered left/right confusion her whole life. For instance she couldn’t give directions worth a darn!

I grew up in the 60s and the experiences were not great. There were a few good nuns and plenty of bad, harsh ones. Kids were regularly pulled from class and hit with paddles in the hallway where the whole class could hear and then the kid would come back in crying and kids would laugh at them. Hands were hit with rulers quite often. There was a lot of shaming by nuns and priests alike. But I do remember one kind nun in sixth grade who I think took special efforts to reach out to me. Looking back now as an adult, I wonder why those nuns were so unhappy and why they took it out on little kids.
 
My 84 year old mother is still apologizing to my brother and I for sending us to the Catholic school we attended for 4 years in the 50’s, from my 3rd to 6th grades. She was divorced in 1954–a terrible thing back then–and some of the Sisters never let us forget it. And we weren’t the only ones. I witnessed physical and emotional abuse frequently, directed at those who didn’t quite fit in. The story at the beginning of the thread about the girl who peed her pants made me wonder if we went to the same school, because I witnessed that very same thing. The girl was an immigrant from Poland who was exceptionally poor–didn’t even have central heating, and wore whatever rags her family could scrape up. She was just learning English. It was disgusting. I hated going to that school, and I have never been a trouble maker. I was quiet and well-behaved, but I had more than my share of hair-pulling, the pointer and ruler, and the humiliation, as did my brother. We didn’t dare tell on the sisters, because if you did, there was hell to pay the next day if they found out about it, which happened to me.

I truly have forgiven them, but I am not going to sugar-coat what went on, nor make excuses for them. You just don’t treat human beings that way, whether it was the 20’s, the 50’s or the 90’s. Jesus’ rules for how we are to treat each other have not changed. I will not pass judgement on them as persons, that is for God to do, but I will judge their actions as being wrong. To those who claim exaggeration, all I have to say is–you weren’t there. These things did happen, maybe not where you were at, and maybe not universally, but they did happen, and they happened often enough to be remembered. The best thing that ever happened to my brother and I during our childhood was to be put into the public school system. The teachers were strict, and discipline was strict, but not harsh and not vindictive. If you were disciplined, it was because you deserved it, and it was done privately and in a controlled manner, and the parents were kept informed.

The thing I still don’t understand is that there was no accountability for the cruelty. Not all of the sisters were like this, but the others were well aware of what went on. If the classroom doors were open, you could hear things, the school was small.

Despite this post, I have forgiven these Sisters, and I am sure God has, too. I don’t hold any grudges, and all of the Sisters I know today are kind, loving souls who would never act like this. I pray this is truly a thing of the past.
 
CB_Catholic said:
I truly have forgiven them, but I am not going to sugar-coat what went on, nor make excuses for them… To those who claim exaggeration, all I have to say is–you weren’t there. These things did happen, maybe not where you were at, and maybe not universally, but they did happen, and they happened often enough to be remembered.
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Well said and I completely agree.
 
Alex1 said:
I often hear stories about how harsh Catholic school nuns were in the past. Writer Truman Capote referred to them as ‘Black Widows,’ many others have said recounted instances of harsh treatment.

My limited experience with nuns, three in grammar school, was positive. However, this was in the late 70’s.

What’s the truth of this?
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I remember the nuns that taught me in catechism classes, and helped prepare me for first holy communion were very strict. One nun at the start of the class told us the rules and one of them was no talking unless you were called upon. My friend Mike tested out this rule and she came straight across the room grabbed him by his ear then took him to a closet in the back of the room and made him face the wall with the door open, so he would hear her while she taught the class. We all learned well in that class and no one talked without first raising their hand and being called upon.
 
Sometimes I forget that she was a nun because she didn’t wear a habit, but this thread made me remember.

This was not long ago; 2006 or so, when I was in high school. This woman was the meanest little old lady I’ve ever met. She berated students for wrong answers. Every day when it was time for her class, I would drag my feet up the stairs to her room with a knot in my stomach, wondering what abuse would ensue that day. The week she got sick and we had a sub, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. She is now retired, from what I understand.
 
SMHW said:
I went to Catholic school from first through twelfth grade. (This was in the 60s and 70s.) The majority of the teachers were sisters. For the most part they were kind, thoughtful women. But I liked some of them more than others. I didn’t particularly like my seventh grade teacher but I think that was more a reflection on what I was going through hormonally than it was on that particular sister.

It was my observation at the time that classmates who found following the rules (no talking, no gum, proper uniform) to be too limiting also found the sisters to be overly strict and too harsh.
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Most of my k-8 education was in catholic schools, met some strict nuns, but like you said if you followed the rules you were fine, this was 1956-1963
 
It’s a mixed bag. My grandmother has stories of great nuns in school, and others that were strict, and then others that were cruel. My father much the same.

I will say, it’s not a thing of the past. A friend of mine in high school around 2001 couldn’t stop loudly hiccuping during a quiz. He was slapped across the face. Given that he was a quieter kid and not one to be a troublemaker, my reaction was :eek:
 
I went to a catholic school in Latin America, though brothers, not nuns, and my mother, aunts , cousins and many of my friends went to nuns schools and this is how they were “harsh”: mini skirts were completely forbidden, skirts had to be at knee level and socks up, is you wore mini skirts they would send you back home, boys were not allowed to have long hair, and we all had to be dressed clean and neatly, please and thank you were a must, you were not allowed to talk when somebody else was talking, you had to wait until one person was done, and then you had your turn, yelling and cursing were not allowed, if they catches you cursing they sent you back home, you had to be respectful towards teachers and other students, bullying was not allowed, respect and discipline were a must and you had to follow rules. Harsh? If you compare it to the United states where many students have zero respect fir teachers and where teachers cannot discipline the kids, yes it is harsh. Is it better? Definitely yes.
 
Alex1 said:
I often hear stories about how harsh Catholic school nuns were in the past. Writer Truman Capote referred to them as ‘Black Widows,’ many others have said recounted instances of harsh treatment.

My limited experience with nuns, three in grammar school, was positive. However, this was in the late 70’s.

What’s the truth of this?
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Just a little information. When you ask about “nuns” I’m thinking that you mean “sisters” nuns are cloistered.

To answer your question. Yes there were (are?) many angry unkind unloving sisters in my life. However there were also kind and dare I say good sisters as well. Its like if you learned about a child being abused by a parent and posted here to ask if parents really are abusive. There is no yes or no answers. Some childred were abused by sisters some were abused by parents. I didn’t abuse my children my sister’s husband abused his step children (my nieces) in a horrible way.
 
My father says the Nuns used to whack students with rulers at his school. Though, he went to school in the inner-city, I don’t know if they felt like they needed to be ‘tougher.’
 
I went to a catholic school in Latin America, though brothers, not nuns, and my mother, aunts , cousins and many of my friends went to nuns schools and this is how they were “harsh”: mini skirts were completely forbidden, skirts had to be at knee level and socks up, is you wore mini skirts they would send you back home, boys were not allowed to have long hair, and we all had to be dressed clean and neatly, please and thank you were a must, you were not allowed to talk when somebody else was talking, you had to wait until one person was done, and then you had your turn, yelling and cursing were not allowed, if they catches you cursing they sent you back home, you had to be respectful towards teachers and other students, bullying was not allowed, respect and discipline were a must and you had to follow rules. Harsh? If you compare it to the United states where many students have zero respect fir teachers and where teachers cannot discipline the kids, yes it is harsh. Is it better? Definitely yes.
 
I suppose it depends on the order and the individual sisters. However, the ones that were in my school were just plain mean. There was 1 nice sister, but the rest could have run the military. I have talked to several other people who either went to the same grade school or had the same group of nuns at a nearby school and all of us have the same impression (and we were quiet, good kids). I remember one sister going off the deep end because I forgot my white round lace headcover and wore a black one instead (8th graders were supposed to wear white ones, 7th graders could wear black ones and the lower grades had to wear beanies). I remember one sister jumping up and down and pounding the desk in the classroom with her fist in response to some boy’s behavior. I remember the sisters making whatever boy she chose in the class to clean up someone else’s puke with sawdust and a small handheld broom. I remember the sisters yelling a lot. I remember listening to sermons in church about love is patient, kind, etc. and thinking that it sounded like science fiction to me because the example wasn’t there.
 
I think it was a lot of people pushing the complete problem of corporal punishment in schools on to Catholic schools.

From what I’ve been told, all schools had problems back then. My dad didn’t go to Catholic schools, but spoke heavily of coming home with welts. My mom did go to Catholic schools until High School and spoke of her early years as typical. The sisters were strict but fair.

By the time I was in Catholic schools it was well into the 90’s. The only sister I knew was the most wonderful teacher. But again she was strict. She always had a smile on her face and would speak very softly. But if you did something wrong she would get a stern look on her face and calming remind you of the rule. My sister didn’t luck out as much she felt like the sister at her High school had it out for her. Honestly I think the poor woman was scared for my sister. My sister had a lot of boy trouble.

marymary1975: The rules you describe are exactly like my Catholic school. We even had an entire class on social edict (like always walk on the right side of a hall) and win/win situations.
 
I only had two sisters for teachers out of six years but they weren’t abusive or harsh. My fifth grade teacher would surprise the class with peanut showers. We would be reading quietly and suddenly there would be the clatter of peanuts in the shell landing on the floor and we would all dive under desks to grab them. When we were younger we couldn’t wait to be in Sister’s class for that reason; we heard the stories. She was sort of strict and had kind of a stern face but she was a good teacher and created a fun memory. She also gave each student a rosary she had made. Or maybe we could buy it but I still have it.
 
I had some old school nuns for catechism for a few years. Wonderful ladies. They may have been a little strict in maintaining order.

A lot of people have a severe aversion to that sort of thing. When I was a manager the employees called me all sorts of names because I didn’t like them lazying about all the time.
 
I think the idea of having discipline taught by the nuns could’ve sparked a myth about mean nuns. Unfortunately I never went to Catholic school (yet) so i don’t know. But my grandpa did and he and his eleven siblings did also and generally have said that they enjoyed it. Even one of my relatives was an Augustinian priest taught aviation at Catholic school.
 
I think that just because you didn’t experience nasty ‘nuns’, you shouldn’t discount the experience of those who did.

Through my school years I only encountered one whom I would consider abusive and it was more psychological than physical. I don’t remember much hitting but I do remember other types of abuse of power as mentioned in a previous post. For all that she could teach very well, she shouldn’t have been around kids.

The sisters I experienced were all from the same congregation and members of that congregation either taught in the schools or worked in the local hospital, which they had founded. The abusive ones were few and far between but when one was she seemed to go all out with gusto. To this day if you say ‘nightmare teacher’ most of the kids who went to the convent school over a 10-12 year period will name the same sister. On the other hand they will name several who were sweethearts.

To be fair, the teacher mom had in the 30s, in a public school, lifted a student by his ear and ripped it partially off. Nothing was done about it. My husband, who also went to a public school, talks about one particular teacher putting a student through a wall and the blackboard in her room bearing the imprint of the various heads she’d smashed into it. Nothing was done about that either.
 
Phemie said:
I think that just because you didn’t experience nasty ‘nuns’, you shouldn’t discount the experience of those who did.

(…)
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I’m leaving that part of your post for emphasis. It’s something to always keep in mind.

But the rest of that post reminded me of another story from my Catholic school days. My 6th grade teacher, a married man, so not a nun, decided to get the attention of a fellow student by whipping a rubber ball at his head. Instead of hitting that boy he nailed me right in the eye. He said “sorry” but also laughed and never checked that I was okay. You
He would have hit the boy on the back of the head only I need to work on forgiving him; because I still refer to him by a word that would probably get me suspended or banned. Also, that kid came from a difficult home. I didn’t know my best friend at the time but she knew him and later told me what he went through. The teachers appeared to have zero empathy for kid and it rubbed off on other students.
 
Alex1 said:
I often hear stories about how harsh Catholic school nuns were in the past.
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I attended Catholic schools for 12 years and had a grand total of two nuns for teachers. They were both very nice women and great teachers. However, it was just luck of the draw that I didn’t end up in “Sister X’s” classroom. My best friend had her for sixth grade. Everyone who ever crossed her path can testify to what a horrible, wretched witch she was. Even after all these years, if my sixth grade best friend and Sister X were to happen upon each other in a dark alley, I wouldn’t want to be Sister X.
 
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