Were there any lonely saints? With no friends

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Hi. I know how important support in the form of friendships are, that we are a community of believers. I don’t have friends and at 43 I’m mostly ok with that, postpartum being a difficult time. I’ve sought and continue to look for mommy group. Mostly I’m just curious if there were any saints known for not having friends.
Many of us feel exiled and lonely in this world.
Just today I was at yet another waiting room where the tv show was so amazingly inane. People idolizing themselves, filthy talk etc…
I feel outcast, most Catholics would deal with that I imagine by talking to their friends.
I don’t have them (except my husband) so I mostly just think about God and go into that inner part of myself so far removed from the world and yearn for God even more, and think about how lost this world seems.
I guess I’m trying to find a saint to relate to , even though I’m a mom St Gianna Molla had more of a social life and definitely as a pediatrician a higher status than my job. I’m more secluded in a big city feeling exiled like I’m sure many of us. Maybe some words to lift my spirits from my online brethren. I have felt this way prior to giving birth as well. Thank you.
 
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There were a number of Desert Hermits who went and lived in isolation in the desert. If I remember correctly, they formed the foundations of what became traditional monastic life.

They lived in exclusion, and only interacted with people to receive food.

I’m sorry that I don’t have any names off hand, hopefully someone else will be able to add more.
 
I can’t think of a saint who experienced exactly the sort of loneliness you describe, but St. Germaine Cousin (also known as St. Germaine of Pibrac) led the life of an outcast from a very young age. She was abandoned, mistreated and/or shunned by everyone. A saint with this sort of experience may not be quite what you’re looking for, but the way she handled it might hold some inspiration for you.

Also, St. Rita of Cascia is a patron of the lonely (among other patronages attributed to her).
 
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Yes, St. Rita, the saint “of the impossible.” Actually quite a number of saints were ostracized, laughed at, and felt alone. It comes with the territory and Jesus Himself experienced loneliness. One of St.Faustinal’s prayers was to Jesus, friend of a lonely heart.
 
I would guess there are many, many saints who didn’t have friends the way we typically conceive of them. After all, most holy souls have had to buck the trends, attitudes and lifestyles of their times, just as we do today. And it’s worth remembering that in this we have a divine role model: in spite of having friends in the Apostles and other early disciples, surely our Lord faced a good deal of loneliness in his life as well. So you can always take him as your patron and friend!
 
St Therese Of Lisieux had a close family circle, but I seem to remember she had trouble making friends with outsiders.
 
I LOVE her and I’m currently reading her mother’s letters. I feel connected to her mother and I believe it was a blessing that I even came across her as an inspiration. I don’t even remember how.
 
My observation is that many people have “friends” the way the character “Jerry Seinfeld” had “friends” on his very successful and popular TV sitcom, “Seinfeld”. That is, a group of people whose conversations consisted in each one talking past the other, each one waiting for the others to stop talking so he/she could resume his own stories and concerns. Their conversations were serial monologues. Such is not friendship, but it is very common - that is why the sitcom was so popular: it was real-life to the absurd extreme, and this made it funny.

True friendships are rare - very rare - because they are of necessity not “all about me”, they are based on true mutual love - which itself must be based on divine love to be be true, and to be mutual. If you have a true loving relationship with your spouse, you are blessed indeed. Such marriages are also rare.

It is more important to be a friend, than to have friends. Jesus was a friend of all - but most wanted Him only for what He could do for them, for their good, their healing, their free lunch. After the Apostles received His Spirit, then they could begin to be a friend of sinners, as Jesus was - a friend who cared about them and their salvation, caring with the love of God for them all.

If we can become a friend to others, as Jesus was and is, then we can find friendship with others who, like us, have become a friend with Jesus. Then we will have that one-another friendship that Jesus commanded - His new commandment - His commandment that created His Church:
John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
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No one individual can do this. It takes at least two to have a one-another love. It is a most beautiful and supernatural reality in this otherwise dark and self-obsessed world. No wonder Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
 
St. John the Baptist. He is like a lone wolf of the NT. Christ is his only friend, but he is Christ and John the believer and the prophet. He just really helped me with this issue when it was severe.
From the OT King David sounded awfully lonely in some of his psalms and of course the lonely Prophet Elli.
 
Although Catholicism has its share of ascetics who, by their nature, were very separate from the world, the Orthodox seem to have a class of saints categorized as “Holy Fools.” So basically, they’re fools for Christ— and are so close to God, and so far from other humans, that they were lonely in the way we think of loneliness— but at the same time, they had everything they wanted despite the lack of creature comforts and sociability that we would expect someone to need for happiness.

For example, there was St. Sophia the Righteous, the Ascetic of the Panagia. I don’t know if she’s the same one I was thinking of— but whoever it was, they called her “Crazy Sophia”— but “Crazy Sophia” was able to address people by name and discuss their problems with them, even if she had never met them before, and interceded for the people around her, often saving lives, such as in storms. There was one anecdote (that I can’t find at the moment) where basically she gets on some childless noblewoman’s case and shouts at her, “What are you doing, standing around doing nothing? Don’t you know that God’s about to give you a son? Go over to [wherever]!” And they go over to the place, and five minutes later, there’s an accident in the street where a woman gets trampled, and her baby is left orphaned, and the noblewoman adopts him.

Anyhow— people like that are on another level from the rest of us! 🙂 I’m sure there’s countless stories about ascetics, and because they don’t tie themselves down with worrying about what other people thought of them in the hopes of getting along or being admired-- and so they were able to use that loneliness/isolation to get way further along their path. 💙
 
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this was very beautiful and inspiring to read, thank you for your thoughtful reply.
 
Sometimes i feel like St. John the baptist at work! Just kidding but he was a great one to mention, thank you. I’m in a very liberal state and feel so much like an alien with my “strange” beliefs. I can’t even have a group of women coworkers to go to lunch with because I don’t like their conversations, making fun of men, bash their husbands… I’d rather be alone of course and I don’t mind my company but sometimes i wish i could meet a sister in Christ who is like me.
 
Maybe find a book club or get involved at your church with some group. Is there a women’s group or a bible study or something you can get involved with?
 
Must be lots among the Carthusians, they’re just not allowed to canonize their own members.
 
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