Were there any lonely saints? With no friends

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My understanding is that St. Jerome wasn’t exactly a social butterfly either.
 
a good topic , helpful replies, one I am sure many will relate to. Me for one! May God be with us!
 
I’d like to share that I have found one I can relate to. St. Zélie Martin, mother of St. Thérèse whom I love very much. I’m frankly amazed that I found someone so quickly, I don’t remember how but once I started reading her letters (someone posted a free link to it in my other post) one in particular froze me because she was describing me, rocking her baby until her back hurt (that’s me) and the baby crying so much her husband barely ate (that’s us too partly) … She also worked and wasn’t always with her children which really was the kicker because that’s where my heart hurt the most. I’m 43 and I believe this was my first Divine help that maybe obvious, I’m sure the Lord works in my life in ways unbeknownst to me. It’s like the Lord was sending me a friend I could relate to. Oh trust me I know I don’t deserve it and I long for other things I’ll never have that perhaps some of you may, I only share this because I’d like you to never give up hope that Heaven may stoop to grant us a gift, and quickly.
I’m still lonely at times, but I don’t think I’m alone, I am believing that verse of the cloud of witnesses, I think the saints in heaven do see us and with the Lords permission, help us and keep us company.
 
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Life is lonely. I’ve never felt lonelier than at a party with a lot of people, including close friends. There’s something existential about it. It’s good that you don’t compromise your virtue for people, but friendliness is a virtue as well. I googled “loner saints” and found a short list here.

I’d recommend C.S. Lewis’s book The Four Loves — he has some profoundly insightful things to say about friendship, loneliness, and God.
 
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Amen. Thank you for sharing, I will be rereading your post to reflect on. I was thinking of Jesus alone in the garden today and offered up my anticipated loneliness in caring for a newborn in union with his suffering loneliness there.
 
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Thank you so much. I wish Four Loves were free online… I’m wishing everything were free these days, I had to tell my older teen children that this world is backwards and we are in a little bit of strains because I’m being punished by having a baby so I don’t get paid a red cent from my job to care for my newborn. I digress, thank you for the recommendation I’m sure I have a collection book of his in my bookshelf I will look for it!
 
Keep in mind, too, that Our Lady may not have had any close friends other than Joseph when Our Lord was young. She gave birth as a poor migrant relegated to a barn and then had to flee to Egypt–I’m doubting that she knew a lot of Egyptian! She’d have been poor and a foreigner all that time. Even when the Holy Family went back to Nazareth, there may have been some people who were too good to associate with someone who “seemed so good” but then (whisper, whisper) went to “visit a relative” and seemed to have gotten pregnant while she was on her trip.

You sound like an experienced mom; you know it won’t be long before you’re back out and about. Hang in there! Your family loves you and you’re going to do OK. In the meantime, it is OK to go to Our Lady and confide that things are very tough!! She’s been there! She’s been short on money and short on friends with skin on, other than her husband. She’ll understand!!
 
Wow. This is amazing, I feel like I’ve been blessed twice in so short a period. You wouldn’t know that I’ve been asking our Blessed Mother to please help me feel closer to her. I often pray to her but I’m not captivated the way I am when I think of Jesus, it doesn’t take much for my heart to soar when I think of Him. But your message was not only timely but you must be close to her perhaps because I feel she asked one daughter to encourage another. Thank you, I believe she is answering my prayers and I can’t wait to love her as much as I love Jesus.
 
How wonderful, thank you so much! I’m so looking forward to an opportunity to read this uninterrupted and will save it on my phone right now! Thank you for your kindness.
 
MarthaSo said:
Wow. This is amazing, I feel like I’ve been blessed twice in so short a period. You wouldn’t know that I’ve been asking our Blessed Mother to please help me feel closer to her. I often pray to her but I’m not captivated the way I am when I think of Jesus, it doesn’t take much for my heart to soar when I think of Him. But your message was not only timely but you must be close to her perhaps because I feel she asked one daughter to encourage another. Thank you, I believe she is answering my prayers and I can’t wait to love her as much as I love Jesus.
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It is funny but Monday was an existing feastday newly placed by Pope Francis on the general calendar as an obligatory memorial for the day after Pentecost: The Memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of the Church. I was at Mass on Monday and the priest explaining the memorial increased my desire to be closer to Our Lady. Your reply is an encouragement to me, too!
 
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Reminds me of that quote by La Rochefoucauld: “However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship.”
 
St Jacinta and St Francisco of Fatima. Sr Lucia of Fatima also had to live her life waiting a little longer.
 
I can relate to the loneliness, I feel it’s the hardest cross of all. My thoughts are with you. I hope everyone’s prayers can unite
 
Get on the daily Mass circuit. And ask Jesus to make you His best friend. Then wait.
 
Hello, please do not give into sadness, which loneliness can lead you toward. Although not a sin per se, it makes us vulnerable to fall into depression or excessive sadness which Satan loves to prey upon. We are then more likely to mortally sin.

God realized we needed companionship (“It is not good for the man to be alone” Genesis 2:18)

Although I am also not a social phenomenon but have a group of friends who frequently see each other.

Finding a good friend is indeed a great blessing, however we must we wise with our friendships. Good friendships should bring us closer to God and bad friendships do the opposite.

For me, a great way to expand my social group was Bible Study group at the local parish (although other voluntary activities or evangelization could also work out for you). We all love Sacred Scripture and enjoy debating and understanding difficult passages of the Bible.

Often we also share our problems and concerns (as much or as little as we each feel comfortable to do so) and others give their opinion and knowledge so we all feel more connected and supported. Plus you get great ideas on how to approach a specific problem.

One thing the Church excels at is bringing people together, rather than dividing them apart.

Most of the saints I have read seemed to be very social people, partly because of the miracles attributed to them, their joyfulness, amazing sermons and charity when dealing with others. Although some of them decided to become hermit and some religious people decide to stop living for the “world”. They still interact with other people and each other as a community.

After all we cannot do charity and practice other virtues if we are completely alone. Having God also brings great joy and prevents us from feeling lonely.

Many saints warned us not to give in to sadness, but on the contrary encouraged us to be joyful.

One man found the secret of true happiness. His name was St. John Bosco. He was a man who experienced many trials, but who also lived a life full of gladness and joy. St. John Bosco was so happy that he could hardly contain it. “Dear friend,” he wrote to an associate, “I am a man who loves joy and who therefore wishes to see you and everybody happy. If you do as I say, you will be joyful and glad in heart.”
 
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Thank you. Sometimes the cross with the tears gets very bad but even then, maybe especially then I’m never angry at God. I always cry out in anguish though and tell Him I miss Him. I find it odd even within myself that I should say “I miss You” so much to Him over the years…as if I were with Him before at some point. The feeling is real but I don’t understand it very much and wonder if anyone feels the same and what you make of it.
 
Gosh I used to go to daily Mass, I can’t any longer as I have a newborn and can’t make Sunday’s because no one can watch my 2 month old as my husband works all day weekends.
 
What a very thoughtful post. Thank you so much for the time you took to write it. When you mentioned joy,…that is the one thing I have asked, begged God for years. Only recently I am getting a small taste of acceptance that I may not be ever granted that favor. It’s a gift I’m guessing? I always thank God for every blessing in my life, there are so many!!! I would never dare not thank Him because I am very grateful. Sometimes I say that He has given me a heart at peace instead of joy. Of course there are times I laugh, and often on occasion but I always retreat to a despondent nature that I have no control over but this nature keeps me going to God in prayer. I’ve noticed.
I am caring for a newborn with no friends or family to help, no there is no one at Church with a group for mother, there are no groups in my vicinity and I don’t want to travel too far with an infant. I am ok often enough, I will go back to work soon and the world will hit me like a ton of bricks and I will miss my little one so much. Another melancholy season ahead. I’m so used to feeling this sadness it is almost a friend in itself. But despair is something I never want to fall into and have come close to after my child was born, I thank God and my husband I am not feeling that any longer.
 
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Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices. - St Teresa of Avila
 
Thanks for your post.

I am sure God wants you to be happy and joyful. The only one who want us to feel depressed is Satan.

St. Don Bosco said: “a sad saint is a sorry saint”. For him holiness consisted in being cheerful.

“Here”, Don Bosco said, “holiness consists in being always joyful”.

See also Philippians 4: 4-9. Here, Paul tells us: “I want you to be happy, always happy in the Lord; I repeat what I want is your happiness. Let your tolerance be evident to everyone, the Lord is very near. There is no need to worry…”.
 
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