Were you a virgin up until you took the marriage sacrament?

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Seaborgium

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Were you a virgin up until you took the marriage sacrament?

I’m wondering how many catholics actually live by the moral guidelines?

I plan to, but I’m just waiting for ‘the one’. It’s been a long wait lol.
 
My husband and I were both virgins, but we married outside the Church (he was not Catholic, and I was not confirmed and not practicing). We had our marriage convalidated 7 years later (shortly after he became Catholic). So I guess that wouldn’t actually “count” for your question. 😃

That said, I don’t think it matters how many couples do or don’t wait (and whether or not they regret their choice later). Wrong in majority is still wrong, and right is still right no matter how few follow it. Right is definitely not always easy, but it’s always worth the effort. (Now I just have to remember to follow my own advice at the right times!) 😉

You are right to wait until marriage, even though it’s probably hard sometimes. It will be better for you, for your future spouse, and for your marriage. 👍
 
Don’t base your morality on what others did or didn’t do, but on what you know to be right.

It also doesn’t matter what your past was - what counts is how you live the now and the future.

Here’s a cliche, but it’s true: “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
 
triumphguy said:
Don’t base your morality on what others did or didn’t do, but on what you know to be right.

It also doesn’t matter what your past was - what counts is how you live the now and the future.

Here’s a cliche, but it’s true: “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
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that is true we all have pasts and a future, heck, even saints had some iffy pasts but they saw their mistakes and corrected that.
Having said that, uts ok to know your partners past, I mean what if they have some sort of STD. you have every right to know
 
Please don’t base what you consider to be moral on a majority. With that, I was a virgin. My husband was not, not even a little bit. But he was forgiven of his past sins, and I was humbled and ultimately strengthened in some ways through his testimony.
 
I wasn’t, but then again I wasn’t a practicing Catholic at the time. I would likely do things differently if I had to do it all over, but then again I’m looking at it from a more mature mindset.
 
We both were, but I think the other posters are right when they say that right and wrong isn’t to be voted on. It doesn’t matter how many are or aren’t. Lots of people change their ways throughout their life. If you know that abstaining until marriage is the right thing to do, what does it matter if someone else doesn’t?
 
Seaborgium said:
Were you a virgin up until you took the marriage sacrament?

I’m wondering how many catholics actually live by the moral guidelines?

I plan to, but I’m just waiting for ‘the one’. It’s been a long wait lol.
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That is none of your business, that’s between them and God! I grew up in an era when being a virgin until marriage was the norm, today it’s sad but just the opposite. God Bless, Memaw
 
My husband and I were both virgins until our wedding day (not without difficulty, to be sure!!). This was 2 years ago. We were both 20. Everyone thought we were crazy. I never had a doubt. Good luck!!
 
triumphguy said:
Don’t base your morality on what others did or didn’t do, but on what you know to be right.

It also doesn’t matter what your past was - what counts is how you live the now and the future.

Here’s a cliche, but it’s true: “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
Click to expand...
You are SO right. Please people don’t ever live in the past. If you do…it will haunt you!
If you have done something wrong in the past ask or seek forgiveness and MOVE ON.
 
Ophelia23 said:
Please don’t base what you consider to be moral on a majority. With that, I was a virgin. My husband was not, not even a little bit. But he was forgiven of his past sins, and I was humbled and ultimately strengthened in some ways through his testimony.
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Yes we were the same. I was my husband had strayed but had repented, which strengthened his resolve that we should wait.
 
We were, and I would be proud to tell anyone. As others have said - not that if you have a past it makes you less of a person - but for our relationship with each other and with God, it was the best thing, and we are happy.

As far as the part about being unmarried and it being difficult, I did not realize how much trouble it was for my husband before we were married, but he persevered by setting rules and lines not to cross - maybe it wasn’t the most “fun” way to date, but it was the perfect way to get to know each other as people and to see if we would be compatible for a lifetime, without all the physical issues getting in the way.
 
triumphguy said:
Don’t base your morality on what others did or didn’t do, but on what you know to be right.

It also doesn’t matter what your past was - what counts is how you live the now and the future.

Here’s a cliche, but it’s true: “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
Click to expand...
Agree with this.

Not that many people ask me this question in real life, but when they have, I’m honest with them, although I’m usually a “None of your business” kind of gal. The reason why is that I want to show those who have asked me (usually people I love and care about and are sincerely trying to figure out their way) that it is actually possible to wait before marriage. My husband and I were both virgins. We were in our mid to late 20s when we married. It was difficult, but we made it through and we were together for 6 years before making our vows.

My sister, although no longer a practicing Catholic, actually followed my advice and waited until marriage. She didn’t do it because of religion or faith because she is an agnostic, but because of the morality and specialness of saving oneself for someone who deserved it and was willing to wait till marriage. Our parents were also very open about waiting until marriage… they were both virgins on their wedding day. I think having my parents as role models and being open to talking about it was extremely helpful in keeping strong. I know for my sister, having them and my husband and I as role models were helpful for her.
 
We both were but we usually don’t talk about it like it’s a noble thing. If I were an atheist, I’d do it all over again.

My husband was an agnostic who acknowledged 1.) the dual purpose of sex and 2.) that it’s easier to fight a craving when it’s something you’ve never tasted. Waiting was kinda a no-brainer for him. All that STUFF you don’t have to worry about. Pregnancy, diseases, potential guilt, the work of hiding it from family who would be scandalized, birth control, making a hypothetical break up even more difficult, learning how to have a good time without it. Life was just so much easier.
 
I wasn’t a virgin and neither was my husband. I was raised Lutheran, him Catholic. We met in our mid- twenties. I’d had multiple sexual partners and I’d also been previously married. He had never been married, but had also had multiple sexual partners. I wish we’d have met earlier and both been virgins when we married each other, but the past cannot be changed and it is what it is. We have had problems that we had to work through with jealousy and insecurity because we both had sexual pasts.

I greatly admire people with the self control and discipline to wait to have sex until marriage and who wait to marry until they find the right person. You’re doing something that amazes and inspires.

For those that say it’s no ones business, I agree. If someone thinks this is too personal then they shouldn’t answer. I also think, though, that proudly saying you were a virgin until marriage is a great way to help others struggling with the wait. Those that weren’t virgins and have regrets can also help those struggling by giving them more reasons to continue abstaining.
 
MJJean said:
For those that say it’s no ones business, I agree. If someone thinks this is too personal then they shouldn’t answer. I also think, though, that proudly saying you were a virgin until marriage is a great way to help others struggling with the wait. Those that weren’t virgins and have regrets can also help those struggling by giving them more reasons to continue abstaining.
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I completely agree. Discussing one’s personal experience can be very helpful in guiding another person on the correct path.
We have had problems that we had to work through with jealousy and insecurity because we both had sexual pasts.
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People’s experience with this varies greatly. While I wasn’t a virgin, I was not promiscuous either. My wife has more experience, but jealousy and insecurity never entered my mind. The reason is because we’re both different people than we were, and we’re done with that nonsense. And we have well over a decade of marriage to demonstrate that.
 
This seems like a thread that could have used an anonymous poll at the top. 😊 😛 :o

I always remember my high school theology teacher’s answer to this (inevitably asked) question. She said that what she did or did not do had no impact on whether the Catholic teaching was right. And it is right. She also turned it around and asked that, if she divulged that info, then would they also be comfortable divulging that info about themselves to her? 😛

I can certainly see the value in role models. It is valuable to have people to look up to who have been through these things. But I always think back to this example and it makes me think twice about opening my mouth. :o
 
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