Were you adopted?

[nobody]

contemplative:

I don’t really care much for the term ‘adopted’. It carries with it a certain stigma.

That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that. I’ve been an adoptive mother for several years, I’m in the midst of a second adoption now, I’ve volunteered for years with children in the “system”. To those children in group foster homes, “adopted” is a GOOD word. All adoption agencies are still called just that - adoption agencies. I’ve read many books on adoption - none of them say it’s a negative word.

I can’t find the chapter and verse now, but doesn’t the Bible say we are the adopted children of God?

 

[nobody]

contemplative:

One thing that might help me and others with negative attitudes is to remember we are all adopted sons and daughters of God.

Rom 8:14-16
14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are SONS of God.
15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of ADOPTION by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God

We were replying at the same time. Thank you for the chapter & verse!

 

[Fashina86]

nope… but a good friend of mine was… and she loves her family

Laura

 

[BenedictCthlc]

I am adopted, along with my 3 older brothers.

We all came from different families, only my oldest brother was old enough at adoption, to have known his birth family.
He was traumatized by a system that at the time, 1962, thought it was best for children to be separated from “former” siblings, adopted seperately, maintaining only minimal contact if neccesary. (This according to my Mom)

My bro. had been the oldest child of 5, and basically the “parent” to his siblings, and then was torn from them, and never saw any of them except one brother again. He never got over it, and sadly was a terrible parent to his own 5 children. He was a mess when he finally committed suicide 5 years ago, at age 50. (please pray for Tony Robinson everyone!)

Truly, I believe that all four of us where a disappointment to my parents. My Mom used to say she loved me, but didn’t like me, and my Dad had been abused, and since he only beat us occasionally when we deserved it, and we had all the neccesities he never had, that was PLENTY good…

anyway I guess the best advice for adoptive parents would be make sure you really want kids, allow them contact with their biological family if possible (if they are of an age and desire to) and don’t expect them to “fulfill” you, because you never know when you will end up with a fat, too tall daughter that will NEVER make you “proud” in front of your peers.

Peace,

SusanandCo

 

[Fashina86]

BenedictCthlc:

I am adopted, along with my 3 older brothers.

We all came from different families, only my oldest brother was old enough at adoption, to have known his birth family.
He was traumatized by a system that at the time, 1962, thought it was best for children to be separated from “former” siblings, adopted seperately, maintaining only minimal contact if neccesary. (This according to my Mom)

My bro. had been the oldest child of 5, and basically the “parent” to his siblings, and then was torn from them, and never saw any of them except one brother again. He never got over it, and sadly was a terrible parent to his own 5 children. He was a mess when he finally committed suicide 5 years ago, at age 50. (please pray for Tony Robinson everyone!)

Truly, I believe that all four of us where a disappointment to my parents. My Mom used to say she loved me, but didn’t like me, and my Dad had been abused, and since he only beat us occasionally when we deserved it, and we had all the neccesities he never had, that was PLENTY good…

anyway I guess the best advice for adoptive parents would be make sure you really want kids, allow them contact with their biological family if possible (if they are of an age and desire to) and don’t expect them to “fulfill” you, because you never know when you will end up with a fat, too tall daughter that will NEVER make you “proud” in front of your peers.

Peace,

SusanandCo

How awful! That is terrible! I send prayers…
Laura

 

[Giannawannabe]

BenedictCthlc:

anyway I guess the best advice for adoptive parents would be make sure you really want kids, allow them contact with their biological family if possible (if they are of an age and desire to) and don’t expect them to “fulfill” you, because you never know when you will end up with a fat, too tall daughter that will NEVER make you “proud” in front of your peers.

Peace,

SusanandCo

I am so sorry for your pain, and the pain of the other posters on this thread who had horrible experiences. You’ve all helped me. I love my children (all adopted) with all of my heart and soul. With all of your comments and those of the others here, I have been making a very concerted effort that my children know how much I love them. I’ve been hugging them more, telling them how proud I am of them, how special they are, how lucky I am to have them. Thank you all for sharing. It’s a shame that your parents were not what they should’ve been for you. You’re all in my prayers.