What about staying in a marriage that may not have been sacramental

[KathieAnn]

I have wondered for some time about whether my marriage was sacramental. I was pregnant and my husband and I got married 2 months after finding out. Though we dated for a long time, it was rocky and we’d not talked about getting married. I was unsure whether he was ready to marry me at that point but my parents were pressuring me to get married. I had no idea there was any other option and no one ever said “why don’t you just have your baby and take your time with the decision.” It was a very stressful time and though I really loved him, we were both immature about what marriage was all about. I truthfully don’t know his mindset on that day.

Anyway, we have come a long way in our faith - we are now expecting our 9th child. Though things have not been easy and we’ve, not surprisingly, had rough times, we are both committed to marriage now. We wish we’d had better guidance back then. I am wondering if the marriage was not sacramental then, are we missing out on any grace?? SHould we renew our vows? Maybe I’m hoping there’ll be a sudden shower of graces when we sacramentally renew our vows. I’ve never heard this type of question asked when the topic of non-sacramental marriages comes up.

 

[Jim_Blackburn]

If you married validly and you both have been baptized, then your marriage is already sacramental. *Code of Canon Law * states, “…a valid matrimonial contract cannot exist between the baptized without it being by that fact a sacrament.” (CIC 1055 §2)

If, because of the circumstances you describe, you have doubts about the validity of your marriage, you should presume, as the Church does, that your marriage is valid. Canon law confirms this: “Marriage possesses the favor of law; therefore, in a case of doubt, the validity of a marriage must be upheld until the contrary is proven.” (CIC 1060)