What am I doing wrong?

[fin]

I am a practicing Catholic and I love my Faith. I go to daily Mass, pray the daily Rosary and other devotions including praying the Healing of the Family Tree prayer, monthly Confession, go to Adoration, make use of sacramentals. I try to avoid committing sin and don’t engage in practices that are contrary to the Catholic faith. I also had Masses and votive lights offered, using my own money for these, which wasn’t easy, since I have used up a considerable amount for stipends and donations. I didn’t tell anybody about this, and I probably don’t want to, because they might think it’s imprudent to be donating such an amount, given the amount of money I have and am capable of giving out. I am willing to make these sacrifices, because I want my family tree to be healed. I also pray for other people’s intentions and for the holy souls in purgatory, for the Pope, conversion of sinners etc.

My family members except for my brother, are nominal Catholics and don’t go to Sunday Mass, etc. I’m also praying for their conversion and placed Green Scapulars among their belongings and praying the daily prayer.

I emailed a ministry, asking if the novena and triduum of Masses I requested last year had been carried out? I have been thinking of writing to them for some time now, but I was undecided because I don’t know if it would be appropriate. However, with all the things that are happening, it seems I am compelled to really ask questions.

I requested Masses because I want my family tree to be healed. Like in the Family Tree Healing prayer which I pray regularly, some things happen because of one’s own fault, some aren’t. I was hoping to see improvements in my family and in our lives. However, I’m not really sure if there are any. If I could enumerate the current problems we have (lawsuits, business problems, people problems, car got hit by a bus the other day, relationship problems,abusive sister, sister with compulsive shopping problem blah blah blah) The other day I checked I prayer request I sent dated 2011 and guess what, those intentions are something I still pray for until now. I don’t know if I should be surprised or not.

Like I said, I’m a practicing Catholic and family isn’t. So maybe some of the things that are happening occur because they’re not practicing their faith, which is of course a sin. And they’re probably engaging in some things contrary to the Catholic faith. Again, I can’t force them to do something; all I can do is pray for their conversion, which I am already doing. So maybe it’s kind of like a punishment; I honestly don’t know.

I know that holy Mass is the best and most perfect form or prayer. I have also prayed many prayers and novenas for good resolutions to our various problems, submitted prayer requests to many websites asking for the intercession of others etc. It seems I have done everything I could. I honestly do not know what I am doing wrong, or what else should I do. Some of the novenas that I have said or am saying are Holy Cloak Novena to St. Joseph (prayers are pretty long for 30 days), Mary Undoer of Knots novenas, 54 day rosary novenas, and many many more. I also offer up sacrifices and sufferings for the holy souls in purgatory.

Please let me know what else I should do in order that we may be healed, and that our family tree may be healed, and for good resolutions to all our current problems.

I already prayed to God to tell me if I should stop praying for these intentions. If I should, then I will stop. It is better for my to spend more of my time praying for the Pope, the Church, conversion of sinners, the holy souls, rather than waste my time praying that the lawsuits be dismissed, for my sister to stop being abusive, for my sister to be healed from compulsive shopping blah blah blah.

I also know that we should be thankful for all blessings we have. And I am, I really am. I know that we should not treat God as an ATM machine. His will, not mine, and I do pray that always. And yet here I am, feeling frustrated and I-don’t-know-what-I’m-feeling-anymore. I keep on asking God to help us and to solve our problems, because honestly, I can’t solve them, we can’t solve them. And I am really giving God the driver’s seat. I’m not in charge.

So what am I doing wrong? Is this God’s way of telling me that I should stop praying for these requests, and use those time instead praying for the Pope, the Church, souls in purgatory (which I’m already doing by the way)?

 

[Regina_Love]

We all feel frustrated at times that things aren’t going the way we want. It is true that we all have free will, and some will continue to make terrible choices at times. I do believe that your prayers help. You may have changed the course of history for the better, but don’t know about it. Often our prayers don’t change things just the way we want. We are not in control, and that’s probably a good thing. I find I am the most frustrated when I try to control things. Our Priest used to say, *“When you have a care, take it to Jesus, and leave it there.” * That means that we have to let it go. We have to trust God to do what He can with those we are praying for. Thank you for being so loving to pray for those in need.

 

[Lasting_faith]

You are not doing anything wrong, what you do is too much. I understand you goal, and that it is very important for you, and so should it be. But we often overdo things, and don’t be offended, sometimes less is more, and this could be such occasion? God bless you.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

I don’t see that you’re doing anything wrong, but God knows what is best and He operates on His own schedule. St. Monica prayed fervently for St. Augustine to change his ways. She never gave up on him and he finally did change…after seventeen years!

As for whether you’re doing too much, that I cannot say. Do you have a spiritual director? The questions you ask are ones I would take to my own if I were in your place. Only you, (s)he and the Lord can determine whether your efforts are excessive or misplaced.

The only advice I can offer is to persevere in your prayers, continue to trust God, let Him be in control, and never give up hope. I know this is difficult—my own family counts just two practicing Catholics and has a host of frustrating challenges, both internal and external. But if I don’t pray for them, who will?

God bless you for caring so much about your family. I will include you and them in my prayers as well.

 

[RoseMary131]

praying the Healing of the Family Tree prayer

God’s blessings to you dearest Fin. What a beautiful and loving heart you have in your love for God and for others - especially your strong love for your family.

Mother Teresa’s Lay Missionaries of Charity (LMC) are called to serve the poorest of the poor - beginning with our own families. With that we are called to serve our own family first.

You are doing that by offering your prayers.

hoping to see improvements… not really sure if there are any. …enumerate the … problems

When we work with God through prayer, we can not always see our results. Your prayers do affect your family. Place your Trust in God.

Everyone can make a list of problems and focus on them. God does not call us to do so. Do not carry all your family’s or personal problems as an enumerated list. It will take away your peace. Your focus will be on the “problems”. Notice the joys and good of the day.

You can offer your prayer in a simple way. “Dear Lord, you know the areas our family needs healing. I ask you to heal us. I ask you to allow our hearts to be open to you. Thank you Lord for your Love.”

engaging …things contrary … I can’t force … all I can do is pray …maybe it’s … like a punishment

You have a wonderful understanding here. The only person you can control is yourself. You offer to God the simple - powerful prayer - “For the conversion of my family” and “let it be.”

We pick our own path, our own choices. When we do things contrary to God, we reap the effects. If a person in your family chooses not to follow God, it is their choice.

Your prayers are helpful. It is their hearts that make the decision. We can not by prayer or force change them, they change themselves. Your prayers help. Do not dwell on their issues. You are not responsible for their changes or poor choices.

You are not being punished.

We can follow God and still face problems. Being faithful does not mean no problems, like the car hit by a bus.

what else … family tree may be healed, …good resolutions

Simply pray - and you already are doing so. You do not need to add one more prayer, novena, Mass offering, one more devotion. God does not heal based on one more. You can offer ONE prayer each day for all intentions.

“Today Lord, I offer you my whole day, my rosary, my Mass intentions, my work for: My family - that we may have healing, for good resolutions with issues, for a conversion to the faith. For the Pope’s intentions, those in Purgatory, and all those I wish to pray for their personal intentions.”

Remember when we** simply pray.** God hears us- and we can Pray Simply - we do not have to add one more novena, rosary, one more devotion, or a stipend for one more Mass. Our prayers can be simple.

I already prayed to God to tell me if I should stop praying for these intentions.

You can continue to offer prayers for these intentions - roll it into a simple prayer intention and focus on trusting God, not obsessing and adding one more devotion or Mass offered. You can offer your Mass for your whole intention, without paying the stipend for another Mass.

There are priestly orders that offer Perpetual Masses. You can enroll your family. There is a suggested donation. You can give less. In this, you know that your family is perpetually in Mass offerings. God does not want you to spend money you do not have for a stipend.

I also know that we should be thankful for all blessings … And I am … I know that we should not treat God as an ATM machine. His will, not mine,…feeling frustrated … I keep on asking God to help us and to solve our problems, because honestly, I can’t solve them, we can’t solve them. And I am really giving God the driver’s seat. I’m not in charge.

He pours His graces and love to each of us. We decided when and how much we want to receive and when we want to take our own path. Many things are not going to “be solved” or not “solved perfectly”. Focus on the blessings, not on the negative. When our family makes poor choices - the results will be poor. You can not change them - they must open their hearts.

You are not responsible for their changes. You are not responsible for offering “just one more prayer” to change them. Your number of prayers and devotion is not what God needs. God only wants you to offer your prayer, not even a list of all the things you want answered - just laying “My Family’s Needs” at the Foot of the Cross.

See how you roll up the Pope’s intention into “the Pope’s intentions” - do that for your family. “Dear Lord, I offer you my prayers and actions throughout this day for my family’s healing and needs.”

So what am I doing wrong? Is this God’s way of telling me that I should stop praying for these requests,… instead praying for the Pope, the Church, souls in purgatory (which I’m already doing

Roll all your prayers together: “Dear Lord, Today my rosary, my daily Mass, my actions, I offer you for my family’s healing, my family’s needs, the Pope, the Church, and Souls in Purgatory. Thank you Lord for your many blessings upon each of these intentions.”

May God bless you dearest Fin with His Almighty Peace. May you feel His loving arm around you and your dearest family. May you trust that God hears your cries, knows every intention in your heart, and pours His blessings upon your intentions.

May you have peace.

 

[RoseMary131]

I I also had Masses and votive lights offered, using my own money for these, which wasn’t easy, since I have used up a considerable amount for stipends and donations. I didn’t tell anybody about this, and** I probably don’t want to,** because they might think it’s imprudent to be donating such an amount, given the amount of money I have and am capable of giving out. I am willing to make these sacrifices, because I want my family tree to be healed.

Please speak with your parish priest, your confessor, or your spiritual advisor on this monetary donation aspect of your prayer life. If you already see that it might be imprudent to be spending so much money - on donations for prayer candles and Mass stipends… maybe you are donating unwisely.

Remember that God does not hear our prayers based on the number of prayer candles and Masses we offer. Since these are using your money as donation - maybe your focus can be on ways to pray without donating money for the prayer candle and Mass stipends.

The fact that you do not want anyone to know of your donation, may be a clue that you need to speak with your priest for guidance.

You can make an appointment with the priest to discuss this overwhelming issue with donations for prayer candles and Mass along with the focus on one more devotion for the healing of your family tree.

 

[paseo]

Hi fin :console:

Please don’t be sad you’re not doing anything wrong! You seem to be carrying so much all on your own. I’ve been facing some family things too that I’ve been praying for the past few years. Recently, another problem came up that pretty much threw me to the bottom of the barrel. A friend that I was confiding in then said to me that I needed to give it up to God.
I guess my friend’s suggestion was because it seemed I’ve been doing everything I possibly could in my power to help with my family’s situation. Praying, fasting, working, worrying etc. He said, if I don’t leave it to God, how can God do anything for me. That’s when I started this thread, asking about how exactly do I give things up to God.
I’m not sure if this would help you at all, but I just wanted to share it on the off chance that it does.

God bless you and I will continue praying for you and your family!

 

[RoseMary131]

Another thought on your donations for prayer candles, make a donation budget for prayer candles. Maybe you light only one prayer candle a month and offer it for all of your intentions together.

You can even choose for it to be lighting one of the smaller candles that has a suggested donation of a smaller amount.

For Masses, think about enrolling your family as a whole in one Perpetual Mass Enrollment from one of the religious priestly orders. You can do so with a lesser amount than the suggested donation.

If you want a Mass offered at your parish - create a budget for Mass stipends. You can offer 4 or less Masses a year and make it for all of your intentions rolled into “Special Intentions of Fin”.

May God give you peace.

 

[Robertanthony]

Fin,
most likely, nothing. Rome was not built in one day and some people are so messed up, their issues run so deep that their healing is very much akin to the actual building of Rome. Entanglement in sin, unforgiveness, bitterness, anger etc. can be tough to undo. And I’m giving you a straight to God answer here, people have free-will, and I think it is possible for some people to resist God’ s promptings for a long time, some may never yield to God, they’ve closed their hearts for good. God’s will is mysterious, it was God’s will that Augustine would convert and become a bishop, but what if Monique had stopped praying for him after 12-14 years? (not trying to lay a burden of guilt on you, just sort of thinking aloud) If I wanted say, to mend a relationship, on top of praying for that intention, I’d ask God what is it that he wants me to do, how does he want me to act with that person etc.? Good luck.

 

[Ophelia23]

After reading your post, this is the thought that comes to my mind. It seems you may be too focused on the question of ‘Why’. Why are these things happening? Is it because my family is nominally Catholic at best? Where is God’s will?

I personally find it more useful to forget all about that pesky question of Why. Maybe try instead to focus your intentions into an ongoing novena with St. Monica to pray for your families conversion. Or perhaps to pray for peace in your heart as opposed to outward peace. Just a few suggestions.

 

[Origen52]

Remember in the our father we say “thy will be done” before we petition God for our needs. The “fiat voluntas tua” is definitely the hardest part of prayer for me to accept. At time it has downright frightened me. When I was asking from physical healing from cancer, I often fought with god openly telling him I was terrified of his will being that I not be healed. Submitting to the will of god can be hard. One of the things I learned in my battle with cancer, is that instead of just asking for healing I began to ask for strength to change my diet, exercise more, helping myself to heal. I found it easier to pray for small steps. I have received healing and am presently cancer free. I always give thanks to God, but I realise I have not been given a miracle. My cancer was at an early stage, I was blessed to be treated in an excellent cancer centre, and received the best care medical treatment is able to give. What prayer gave me was the strength not to fall into despair and it improved my courage. I found the rosary the prayer which helped me the most. There were days when the only way I was able to calm my terror was to clutch my rosary and pray. Our blessed mother spent many a day holding me in her arms.

I guess what I’m saying is that God doesn’t always help us in the way we want, but he always helps. Hard as it is to bear sometimes the answer is no. Even Padre Pio was not able to heal all who came to him. Sometimes he had to sadly explain that that was not God’s plan for the individual. All prayer ultimately must end with “fiat voluntas tua” hard as that is.

I wish you peace.

 

[RoseMary131]

rather than waste my time praying that the lawsuits be dismissed, for my sister to stop being abusive, for my sister to be healed from compulsive shopping blah blah blah.

So what am I doing wrong?

Dearest Fin,

Its okay to not dwell on your family’s issues. It okay to release their problems to one simple prayer each day.

I looked over your many other posts and notice you seem very anxious about the family members troubles.

Anxiety can cause us to be unhealthy in our thoughts and even physically.

Its okay to release all your concerns… and just Lay them at the Foot of the Cross.

From your own words above “rather than waste my time”… it can show that you have done what is your part - you have prayed - and it may be time to release yourself from feeling it is your responsibility. When we do something out of “an obligation”, we can begin to resent our own actions.

This does not mean stop all prayers - but put your prayer intentions for your parents/ siblings in a balance.

You can talk with your priest about all your anxiety. You can also speak to a therapist on how to change thoughts of anxiety - worry - and release your thoughts, especially if all these family members problems creep into your own peace.

Its not the number of prayers you offer or the sacramental that you use, that will change the course of the lawsuit or stop your sister from having abusive behavior or stop your sister from compulsive actions.

God hears your prayer - even if offered as one simple prayer: “Bless my family today.”

Your own increasing prayers may actually be a tendency toward OCD / anxiety - hoping one more prayer, devotion, use of sacramental will be the one that stops the other person’s poor behavior.

There are so many wonderful prayers, novenas, sacramentals to help us on our journey to God. Different ones fit into the lives of different people. Using them should bring us peace. From your posts, it looks to me as if you are not at peace.

You do not have to follow a ritual to get God to hear your prayers - use of sacramentals, novenas. You can use them - if the bring you peace. Use them in balance with your day.

Acceptance is important… not that you “like” the person’s poor choices, not that you like there is a lawsuit - but accepting it.

Here is a prayer for you to feel God’s peace.

                     **     Serenity Prayer **

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.

 

[Country_Gal]

Here’s my take on it. You sound like a wonderful, dear soul. I applaud you for your faithfulness.

Your family sounds toxic. I think you should pray for help in assisting you to deal with this fact. I think you need to let go and let God. Don’t give up praying, but don’t obsess over it, like it appears from your post. Start focusing on how you can build up and heal yourself so you can find peace.

I’ve personally been very disappointed by my family. My father is a toxic person who was a damaging person in my life. Other family member are all at odds with one another. My mother has been dead for years. I did, finally, find healing of the relationship with my Stepfather after many years of distance, when he was elderly enough to have reassessed and apologize for his harmful actions. But, for the most part I’ve found it healthier for myself to have a lot of distance from them all.

 

[Lady_Love]

I am paraphrasing this statement made by Fulton Sheen, “The just attract trials the way mountaintops attract storms.”

You have nothing to worry about. You are a faithful disciple. One thing I learned in the last few years is that God IS AT WORK. Not a single prayer of yours has gone unnoticed or unanswered. He is in the process of answering all your prayers right now but sometimes he has to dig up the soil, plant the seed, and wait for the seed to grow. Learn to be patient like the gardener who waits for his crop to bear fruit…it just takes time.

The other thing I would say to you is this: You don’t have to earn God’s favors. God gives freely and generously to His children. No amount of manipulation is going to change God. Spend you days from now on praising and thanking Him for all His goodness toward you.

Whatever trials the good Lord sends your way is to perfect you in love. How is someone going to become patient without having to wait? How is one to gain fortitude without opportunities that challenge us? How are we to grow in any virtue unless God creates scenarios for us to practice them? It sounds to me like God is very alive and active in your life, active perfecting your virtues. Praise God!

 

[lifelessons]

I don’t believe u are doing anything wrong. Please don’t stop praying for your familys conversion. My mother raised my siblings and me as Catholic. As soon as we reached adulthood we all turned away from the church. My mother has prayed every single day for us to all return to Church. She has been praying for over 20 years ! I have finally come home. So , don’t give up, it is a beautiful thing u are doing.

 

[fin]

Hi everyone and thank you for the advice.

I have enrolled myself and my family already in various Perpetual Masses such as the Purgatorian Archconfraternity, SVD Mission Mass League, St. John Cantius Perpetual Mass Association, St. Dymphna League, Masses offered through the Mary’s Way website, Comboni Mass Association. Previously I also had votive candles lighted for various intentions for one year. I didn’t renew them because I was concerned about the amount of funds I have put into all these, as good as they are. Lately I have not had Masses or candles lighted for any intentions and just simply pray for them.

Thank you for your kind words and the advice. I guess with all the graces available, I was hoping that even just a tiny amount would trickle down to me and my family to assist us in our problems. If there are problems because of our own faults, then okay that’s understandable. However the problems we have right now like the lawsuits are because of that ill intentioned person and some others, for whose conversions I am praying for, for them to stop bothering my Dad. After all, I also desire their eternal salvation and want them to be with God in heaven after their earthly life.

I desire the good not only of my loved ones, but also those bothering my Dad and us. I have several reasons why I want our problems to be resolved, one of them is because my parents are elderly and I want them to enjoy their lives. God knows they have been through a lot and I was hoping they could at least be happy and enjoy their lives. For them to be undergoing these problems through no fault of their own is painful. Just awhile ago my sister called up my mom crying because our other sister bullied and scolded her again. My mom said lately she has difficulty sleeping at night because of the problems. When they suffer, I suffer. Lord Jesus, help us carry our crosses.

I am focusing on the positives and the blessings and the good, I really am. But lately I don’t know, new problems came up to the ones that are already there. I also say affirmations and I encourage them to be positive too.

Again I thank you all for the good advice and insights. If anyone here is willing to be my prayer partner just let me know. You would pray for my intentions. I, instead of praying for my own intentions, would pray for yours.

Another thought on your donations for prayer candles, make a donation budget for prayer candles. Maybe you light only one prayer candle a month and offer it for all of your intentions together.

You can even choose for it to be lighting one of the smaller candles that has a suggested donation of a smaller amount.

For Masses, think about enrolling your family as a whole in one Perpetual Mass Enrollment from one of the religious priestly orders. You can do so with a lesser amount than the suggested donation.

If you want a Mass offered at your parish - create a budget for Mass stipends. You can offer 4 or less Masses a year and make it for all of your intentions rolled into “Special Intentions of Fin”.

May God give you peace.

 

[RoseMary131]

I have enrolled myself and my family already in various Perpetual Masses such as … Previously I also had votive candles lighted for various intentions for one year. I didn’t renew them because I was concerned about the amount of funds I have put into all these, as good as they are. Lately I have not had Masses or candles lighted for any intentions and just simply pray for them.

Dearest Fin,

Keep in mind that Perpetual Masses are perpetual… you and your family are included in the prayers offered at those Masses - continuously.

So, really while it may seem today that you are “just simply praying for them”, in reality, you and your family have these beautiful Perptual Mass enrollments lifting up your intentions to Our Heavenly Father.

It sounds like you noticed your donation amount used for this worthy request was more than you were able to donate. It is good that you realized the need to adjust your budget.

Know that it is very acceptable to “just simply pray for them”. God never calls us to donate our money for Masses and prayer candles. While those are good options to add along with our prayers, prayers alone are very acceptable to our Dear Lord.

I pray that you are at peace with your decisions to adjust your donation budget.

Thank you for your kind words and the advice. I guess with all the graces available, I was hoping that even just a tiny amount would trickle down to me and my family to assist us in our problems. If there are problems because of our own faults, then okay that’s understandable. However the problems we have right now like the lawsuits are because of that ill intentioned person and some others, for whose conversions I am praying for, for them to stop bothering my Dad. After all, I also desire their eternal salvation and want them to be with God in heaven after their earthly life.

See, not just a tiny amount of graces trickling down… but I believe many, many graces are poured abundantly upon you and your family.

Graces give you strength, endurance, patience, blessings, God’s Love, God’s Peace, God’s Protections.

Problems come to everyone of us - sometimes because of our own choices, sometimes because of someone else’s choosing, sometimes as natural consequence.

The fact is there is a lawsuit against your dear Dad. Most likely the person will “stop bothering” your dear Dad when the lawsuit has ended. In the meantime, notice the graces that are upon you and your dad while this lawsuit remains open. Graces that help you and your father and mother to deal with the very fact that there is a lawsuit. Graces that your father’s lawyer is able to assist your father.

Maybe the graces are affecting the person who has placed the lawsuit - it is something you may never be made aware of your prayers for his acceptance of God’s many graces in his life.

I desire the good not only of my loved ones, but also those bothering my Dad and us. I have several reasons why I want our problems to be resolved, one of them is because my parents are elderly and I want them to enjoy their lives. God knows they have been through a lot and I was hoping they could at least be happy and enjoy their lives. For them to be undergoing these problems through no fault of their own is painful.

You have beautiful intentions for your parents. Even amid the lawsuit and other problems, your parents truly can be happy and enjoy their lives in the fullest.

Problems in our lives exist. We accept them. We do what we can to change what is possible for us to change. We can remain happy. We can enjoy our lives that God has blessed us with, not a perfect, problem free life, but a wonderful life.

Our happiness and enjoyment of life is not based on other people. It’s internal.

If we can only find happiness and enjoyment if our problems go away, we have allowed ourselves to be “a victim” of the situations or a victim of others.

God’s graces are poured upon us. It is up to us to accept them.

This applies to His graces poured upon us for us to be happy and enjoy life - even among our problems.

Yes, problems are painful - even problems we feel are inflicted upon us through no fault of our own. Yet we can accept that the problem is in our life and choose to be happy with life.

I’m sorry your father and your family are suffering because of the lawsuit. I pray each of you will find peace.

 

[RoseMary131]

Just awhile ago my sister called up my mom crying because our other sister bullied and scolded her again. My mom said lately she has difficulty sleeping at night because of the problems. When they suffer, I suffer. Lord Jesus, help us carry our crosses.

Maybe you can help set up some boundaries with your family. A grown woman does not call her mother to “tell Mom that Sister bullied and scolded me”.

Mother has no need to hear such issues that belong private between two sisters who are adult women. The adult sisters need to learn to solve their own issues without causing problems for their dear mother.

Your mother may want to speak with her doctor if stress, worry, or/ and anxiety are adversely affecting her sleep. She may find help from a therapist or other professional on how to manage anxiety or stress - so as to be a peace even among difficulties.

God sometimes helps carry our crosses by helping us to know how to carry the crosses.

Having set boundaries (for what is appropriate for how your sisters deal with their squabbles) is one way God can help us carry our crosses.

Helping your mother to know if her daughters do not respect boundaries and insist on bringing her into the middle of their issues - that she has the right to say, “I will not listen” is another way God gives us help carry our un-necessary crosses.

Learning how to cope with stress, worries, and anxiety - so as to remain at peace - is yet another way our Dear Lord has blessed us so that are crosses are lighter.

Maybe you would find comfort in taking a class that focuses on dealing with such stress, worry, and anxiety while remaining calm in mind, body, and spirit. Your doctor may know of such program in your area. You may find a self-help book at the library.

You may find learning how to relax and let go of worries a great relief from the problems in life. We will always continue to face issues - we want to learn how to receive God’s Peace among the trials we experience.

I am focusing on the positives and the blessings and the good, I really am. But lately I don’t know, new problems came up to the ones that are already there. I also say affirmations and I encourage them to be positive too.

Again I thank you all for the good advice and insights. If anyone here is willing to be my prayer partner just let me know. You would pray for my intentions. I, instead of praying for my own intentions, would pray for yours.

This post from Regina Love is wonderful.

Our Priest used to say, "When you have a care, take it to Jesus, and leave it there." That means that we have to let it go. We have to trust God to do what He can with those we are praying for.

Origen’s post is another reminder of how God gives us strength to carry our crosses - by giving us strength to do “something” that **helps change our cross. **

When I was asking from physical healing from cancer, I often fought with god openly telling him I was terrified of his will being that I not be healed. Submitting to the will of god can be hard. One of the things I learned in my battle with cancer, is that instead of just asking for healing I began to ask for **strength to change **

my diet, exercise more, helping myself to heal. I found it easier to pray for small steps.

What prayer gave me was the strength not to fall into despair and it improved my **courage. **

I guess what I’m saying is that God doesn’t always help us in the way we want, but he always helps.

I wish you peace.

May God give you strength to accept your crosses and courage to change what you can in your crosses.

One thing you can change is how the crosses make you feel, how you can be at peace even among the crosses, how you can let go of anxiety, worry, and stress while you carry your cross.

** Serenity Prayer **

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.

 

[fin]

Hi, actually those are my words. Our sister is an emotional vampire and manipulative. I have already started a thread about this before. My sister who called up my mom has many times resisted and avoided telling mom about the bullying, but for the times she cried and could not take it anymore, called up my mom and me. I am concerned for her mental and emotional well being. The emotional vampire didn’t only bully the other sister, but also me before, my brother, my dad, my mom. In her past work places before she always complained that so and so was mean to her blah blah blah. She is very negative and complains about a lot of things. We later guessed that she (the one who bullies) is the one who probably has the mental and personality problem. I could go and on about it but I digress.

I know that being enrolled in perpetual Masses means we are included in prayers. So I continue to trust God that He hears and answers our prayers, and that we can finally see and experience those graces.

Thank you so much for the advice and the fervent prayers.

 

[RoseMary131]

So I continue to trust God that He hears and answers our prayers, and **that we can finally see and experience those graces.
**
Thank you so much for the advice and the fervent prayers.

What would it look like to you if you and your family “can finally see and experience those graces”?

(You don’t need to share the answer. It might be a question that you ponder for your own feelings of Peace.)

May you feel God’s Peace today - this very minute - and each minute of today and tomorrow.