What am I doing wrong?

[8isgr8]

Is it safe to assume there are many here who say the Rosary?

From all I’ve read, it seems that many people get deep spiritual satisfaction out of saying the Rosary. After 12 or more years of saying it, many of those years saying it daily, sometimes 10 or 15 decades a day, and for several years almost nightly with my children-- it is still a huge struggle for me.

In the beginning, it was a huge struggle to get through it. My mind would wander constantly, to the point that I forget I’m even saying the Rosary, and sometimes remember to come back to it hours later. It could take most of the day to get through 5 decades. At the end, I feel nothing at best, exhausted and beaten down by the effort at worst.

I’ve kept trying, I’ve taken the advice to not worry and get upset but just to keep coming back to it, I’ve prayed that it would get better… but years later, nothing has changed.

This can’t possibly be how saying the Rosary is for everyone? Any more advice? Should I just accept that this is how it’s going to be and quit expecting anything?

Thanks.

 

[b_justb]

8isgr8:

Should I just accept and quit expecting anything?

I altered your last question to make the answer “yes.”

Work without thought of gain. Adore Christ for His sake, not yours. Prayer is sacrifice. People have huge blessings from prayer, but that is not its purpose.

Make a choice to devote, whether you see or feel the blessings from that devotion doesn’t matter.

Keep in mind eternity. Your blessings await you, don’t worry about it. Simply keep your own promises (devotions).

 

[Seamus]

When I first began praying the Rosary on a daily basis, it was more of a chore than anything else. Now I very much look forward to praying it. The Rosary, and the time I spend in prayer to and with Our Blessed Mother, are very much a special part of my day. I’d sooner miss a meal than I would miss out on praying the Rosary.

Why the change in attitude? I guess there are a few reasons, two of which I will mention here. First, I started praying the Rosary at night and while walking around the neighborhood. For some reason, I find that I am far less distracted when I am walking and praying than I would be on, say, the train into Manhattan. Secondly, I remind myself of what Father Corapi and others have said about the Rosary. The Rosary is powerful. More importantly, Our Blessed Mother will rescue you from whatever moral swamp you find yourself in and deliver you to her son. The latter may not mean much to some folks, but for a sinner like myself, it means a great deal. Ask Our Lady to make praying the Rosary joyful for you.

For what it’s worth, I hope that helps. Please know that you are in my prayers. God bless.

 

[dulcissima]

I would pick a time and place where you are not distracted. I usually will either tell everyone I am going upstairs to pray, then lock my door so I don’t get any interruptions, or I will try leaving early when I have to pick the kids up somewhere, and just sit in the car praying the rosary while I wait for them. Another nice idea is to take a walk and pray the rosary.

As far as your mind drifting, in a way, I think that is one of the blessings of praying the rosary. My mind pretty much always does wander off in unexpected ways when I am praying. Sometimes I will be thinking about new intentions I hadn’t thought about and sometimes I will be relating the mysteries to my own life experiences. I think in a way that is what makes the rosary such a powerful prayer, because Mary will intercede for us in ways that we hadn’t considered on our own and will lead us closer to her Son.

 

[8isgr8]

Seamus:

. Ask Our Lady to make praying the Rosary joyful for you.

Yes, I’ve done that, for years.

I would pick a time and place where you are not distracted

It is my own mind spinning in circles, that distracts me. Worse yet, when I’m praying for help with a certain situation, I just end up getting progressively more angry about that situation, to the point where I feel it’s better not to even try to pray for help in that matter.

 

[dulcissima]

You get angry while praying the rosary? Maybe you need to spend some time forgiving those people who have wronged you. Why don’t you make some of your intentions focussed on asking for the strength to forgive others and let go of your anger?

 

[8isgr8]

dulcissima:

You get angry while praying the rosary? Maybe you need to spend some time forgiving those people who have wronged you. Why don’t you make some of your intentions focussed on asking for the strength to forgive others and let go of your anger?

I have asked myself this numerous times. I think I have asked several times for the ability to forgive. I have forgiven other people easily and completely. I think it’s because it’s an ongoing situation and I feel that the anger is the only thing protecting me from being completely run over and taken advantage of. I feel that if I forgive, this person will take it as a sign that the way he has behaved is fine and an admission that I actually DID something to deserve it.

I’ve practically made a lifelong study of forgiveness, and I can’t seem to get past this stumbling block in my perceptions.

 

[Dorothy]

All of us have to deal with distractions in prayer, whether we are praying the Rosary or other forms of prayer. It is the going back to the prayer and focusing on the Lord that pleases Him. That shows we are choosing Him and not the distraction and He honors that as a prayer.

To get back to the Rosary, I find it very helpful to use the Scriptural Rosary book, where there is a line of Scripture to focus on before each Hail Mary. That helps me to keep my mind focused on the prayer.

It is also very effective in a large group praying the Rosary, if the participants are all willing. The first time I ever heard the Scriptural Rosary prayed in public is when a priest led it, and he stopped for about five seconds of silence after saying the Scripture line, and then began the Hail Mary which we all responded to. It was very powerful, and I have been promoting it ever since.

 

[Hawthorne]

I have a problem with my thoughts gaining a life of their own and dwelling on things to the point that I sometimes can’t sleep. What helps me is chamomile. You can get it in pill form and it is not addicting or narcotic. It helps me let go of each thought instead of holding them and mulling them over. Might help you focus in prayer.

 

[TinaK]

I have the same problem with the Rosary. Either my mind runs in circles and I can’t focus, or I fall asleep. Doesn’t matter what time of day. I’ve tried books, tapes, etc, and just can’t do it.

Ever read Story of a Soul? St. Therese had the same problem.

…but when alone (I am ashamed to admit it) the recitation of the rosary is more difficult for me than the wearing of an instument of penance. I feel I have said this so poorly! I force myself in vain to meditate on the mysteries of the rosary; I don’t succeed in fixing my mind on them. For a long time I was desolate about this lack of devotion that astonished me, for I love the Blessed Virgin so much that is should be easy for me to recite in her honor prayers which are so pleasing to her. Now I am less desolate; I think that the Queen of heaven, since she is my MOTHER, must see my good will and is satisified with it. (Story of a Soul, trans. John Clarke, OCD, published by ICS Publications)

Maybe some of us get this as a penance. When I really got frustrated and went to the Divine Mercy chaplet, the same thing happened to me. So I just plug away at it, and hope my good will suffices. (and maybe you need to talk to a priest about it. Maybe he could help you.)

TinaK

 

[8isgr8]

TinaK:

I have the same problem with the Rosary. Either my mind runs in circles and I can’t focus, or I fall asleep. Doesn’t matter what time of day. I’ve tried books, tapes, etc, and just can’t do it.

Ever read Story of a Soul? St. Therese had the same problem.

Maybe some of us get this as a penance. When I really got frustrated and went to the Divine Mercy chaplet, the same thing happened to me. So I just plug away at it, and hope my good will suffices. (and maybe you need to talk to a priest about it. Maybe he could help you.)

TinaK

Tina, what you quoted (and somewhere in my distant past, I have read some or all of Story of a Soul) is EXACTLY what I feel, except that I can’t claim to have the depth of love and devotion she did.

Strangely, when I say the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, it is easy to remain prayerful and focused, to hear and mean every word. I have wondered at times if God wants me to be saying this instead, but I always read the Rosary is the most powerful prayer, and so I keep going back to it.

 

[dulcissima]

8isgr8:

I have asked myself this numerous times. I think I have asked several times for the ability to forgive. I have forgiven other people easily and completely. I think it’s because it’s an ongoing situation and I feel that the anger is the only thing protecting me from being completely run over and taken advantage of. I feel that if I forgive, this person will take it as a sign that the way he has behaved is fine and an admission that I actually DID something to deserve it.

I’ve practically made a lifelong study of forgiveness, and I can’t seem to get past this stumbling block in my perceptions.

It is interesting that you would post this, because that is pretty much something that has been on the forefront of my mind lately since I am in a similar situation, where being forgiving and understanding only seems to be putting gas in the tank of the car that is about to run me over. So, in my particular situation, I have come to realize that the answer is to understand, to forgive, and then to do something - like get myself in a place where that car can’t get at me, and if it wants to crash and burn, there really isn’t a whole lot that I can do for it. I just don’t want myself or my children to crash and burn with it.

 

[dulcissima]

8isgr8:

Tina, what you quoted (and somewhere in my distant past, I have read some or all of Story of a Soul) is EXACTLY what I feel, except that I can’t claim to have the depth of love and devotion she did.

It is funny, I was just reading St Josemaria Escriva less than an hour ago, and this is what he said:

Don’t ask Jesus to forgive only your own faults: don’t love him with your heart alone.

Console him for every offense that has been, is, and will be done to him. Love him with all the strength of all the men who have loved him most.

Be daring: tell him you are carried away with more love than Mary Magdalene, more than Teresa and little Therese, more carried away than Augustine and Dominic and Francis, more than Ignatius and Xavier.

Be more daring still, and whenever you need anything, mindful always of “Fiat” - “Your will be done” - don’t ask, tell him: “Jesus, I want this or that.” For that’s the way children ask.

 

[Corki]

Have you tried one of the Rosary recordings? There is one available from Catholicity that is just the prayers - no music or meditations - that is very nice (and free). It really helped me when I was coming back into active practice of my faith. I just let them lead the prayers and I said the responses (just like saying the Rosary in a group). If I got distracted, the CD kept going and I didn’t have to struggle to find my place.

As an aside, I don’t find the Rosary particularly peace inducing myself. Rather, I am a bit of a type “A” personality and it is a way of “doing” something especially at times when I am feeling helpless or need to let go of the control. Just my own experience.

 

[Dorothy]

TinaK:

I have the same problem with the Rosary. Either my mind runs in circles and I can’t focus, or I fall asleep. Doesn’t matter what time of day. I’ve tried books, tapes, etc, and just can’t do it.

Ever read Story of a Soul? St. Therese had the same problem.

Maybe some of us get this as a penance. When I really got frustrated and went to the Divine Mercy chaplet, the same thing happened to me. So I just plug away at it, and hope my good will suffices. (and maybe you need to talk to a priest about it. Maybe he could help you.)

TinaK

Distractions in prayer is universal, we all have to deal with it. And, if we keep plugging at prayer and focusing on the Lord the Holy Spirit will lead us to the ways to pray that is best for us.

Of course, the worst thing we can do is stop praying, or pray less, because of the distractions.

Thanks for that great quote from St. Therese!

 

[puzzleannie]

It has been many years since I had “deep spiritual satisfaction” or any kind of gratification at all from daily prayer, Mass participation, LOTH, rosary, adoration etc. I know intellectually and through their fruits that adherence to my duty in prayer is beneficial and necessary, but all I have acheived is faithfulness. Fortunately the saints, most recently Mother Teresa, assure us that is all that is necessary.

 

[TamaraS]

Have you ever tried praying the Rosary with a scriptural rosary booklet? You can find them at a good Catholic book store. I myself am constantly “wandering” or distracted when praying the rosary. The scriptural rosary helped me a lot. It takes a little bit longer because before each Hail Mary is said, there is a short scripture verse you say. There are books that give you a verse before each decade, but I am such a wanderer that I like the books that have a scripture before each Hail Mary.
-Tamara