What am I missing?

[Skyhighblue34]

Hi
I’ve been trying my hand at being a devout Catholic for a little over 3 months now. I now own a bible and a rosary, and I’ve used both to further my faith. One of the biggest boosts of my faith so far has been reading the diary of St. Faustina. I was intrigued and mind blown at her journey with the Lord, but I must admit, I was a little jealous. I really wished I could have such a close relationship with Jesus, being able to talk to him and actually hear his responses. So what I want to get at here is, what am I missing? I just recently went to confession and cleared myself of a mortal sin that’s been a thorn in my side for a long time now. I’m sure that it definitely kept me cut off from God in some way. I still feel like I’m missing something though… I’m not sure if it’s just God hasn’t entered my life yet, or I haven’t committed myself enough maybe. I was kinda expecting to have some feeling of being guided toward what God wants of me, but nope. I haven’t really experienced God in a way that specifically tells me “there’s no doubt that was him.” The only thing so far has been answers to my questions that appear randomly during Mass. I often worry that I don’t have enough faith, and have trouble putting solid certainty in encounters with him. Recently I had been thinking that I probably have such a hard time having faith because I have never really had a faith experience with God, something to really set it in stone. Ironically, God decided to answer that during yesterdays mass. The story of Thomas the Apostle, or “Doubting Thomas” came up. Jesus answered my question when he said “blessed are those that have not seen, and yet have believed.” If that’s true, then how are people able to believe without seeing? Why is it so hard for me? I try to tell myself that I believe, but I don’t feel it. Btw, sorry for the long read… Just venting…

 

[otjm]

Hi
I’ve been trying my hand at being a devout Catholic for a little over 3 months now. I now own a bible and a rosary, and I’ve used both to further my faith. One of the biggest boosts of my faith so far has been reading the diary of St. Faustina. I was intrigued and mind blown at her journey with the Lord, but I must admit, I was a little jealous. I really wished I could have such a close relationship with Jesus, being able to talk to him and actually hear his responses. So what I want to get at here is, what am I missing? I just recently went to confession and cleared myself of a mortal sin that’s been a thorn in my side for a long time now. I’m sure that it definitely kept me cut off from God in some way. I still feel like I’m missing something though… I’m not sure if it’s just God hasn’t entered my life yet, or I haven’t committed myself enough maybe. I was kinda expecting to have some feeling of being guided toward what God wants of me, but nope. I haven’t really experienced God in a way that specifically tells me “there’s no doubt that was him.” The only thing so far has been answers to my questions that appear randomly during Mass. I often worry that I don’t have enough faith, and have trouble putting solid certainty in encounters with him. Recently I had been thinking that I probably have such a hard time having faith because I have never really had a faith experience with God, something to really set it in stone. Ironically, God decided to answer that during yesterdays mass. The story of Thomas the Apostle, or “Doubting Thomas” came up. Jesus answered my question when he said “blessed are those that have not seen, and yet have believed.” If that’s true, then how are people able to believe without seeing? Why is it so hard for me? I try to tell myself that I believe, but I don’t feel it. Btw, sorry for the long read… Just venting…

Venting is OK!

The vast, alsmost extreme majority of Catholics since the time of Christ have not had God (the Father, Christ, or the Holy Spirit) speak to them. You are in good company.
Apoint to consider: John Paul 2 said that there are no cooincidences with Christ. That is worth keeping in the back of your mind.

God gives us direction; through Scritpture, and through the teaching of the Church; officially, and through the saints. We may not get a message that is loud and clear; but the messages are there.

For example, everyone has talents; some more than others, and often different from others. Those talents are something God gives us; we are not forced to use them, but most certainly invited to. One may have a talent for drafting; that does not mean they need to become an architect, but it would certainly be easier to become one if one had that talent! Another may have a talent for helping others who are in difficulty; that may not lead to the job they choose, but may be used elsewhere.

In both cases, God is “talking” to those people.

And understand; sometimes God’s answer is not what we want to hear; and sometimes, it seems to be silence. Both have a purpose, one we may never understand. Our problem is not to understand every lst thing’ it is to have faith and trust, and do what appears obvious. God also is the source of common sense.

Then again it was Volatire who siad that common sense is not all that common…

 

[sirach2v4]

In non-Catholic churches, there seems to be an emphasis on getting some emotional experience to really convict you of your faith.

As a Catholic, you should be approaching the Mass and the Eucharist with the greatest investment of your heart, soul, mind, and strength. The Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith.

In the Eucharist, NOTHING stands between you and Jesus Christ.

You should not worry too much about someone of excess spirituality such as Sr. Faustina.

You are not required as a Catholic to believe “private revelations” such as Faustina’s. It may help you, but you should not let it alienate you.

I’ve just been reading commentaries by the early church fathers on the gospel of Luke.
In Luke 3:8, John the Baptist is preaching “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance”

Your baptism should result in “fruit” such as good works towards the poor, seeing Jesus in the poor, and the like. What I suggest is that you simply look for the opportunities around you to live out that faith, in love of God and love of neighbor.

Pope Benedict xvi wrote that we have a duty and a right to ask God for our needs. Be sure you are doing that and also counting your daily blessings (to see how much work God is doing in your own life).

What are you missing? Don’t miss these things.

In Jewish commentaries, they remind us that God is so close to us to hear even the faintest prayer we speak. Don’t miss the opportunity to converse with God often.

 

[JoyfulRC]

Don’t be dismayed. Some people get feelings of closeness to God and others don’t. I’m in the “don’t” group. And like you, sometimes I wondered whether there was something wrong, but then I’d just happen to be listening to or watching a catholic program and the speaker would say he did’t get “feelings” either. And these people, in my judgment, were WAY farther along the path to holiness than I am. So I have stopped wondering if there is anything wrong, for a while anyway.

 

[Journey322]

I think it is good that you are pursing God and desire a closer relationship with Him. Be patient though and enjoy the journey. Do your part to cultivate that relationship, but don’t expect your relationship to be just like anyone else’s. He relates to us in a very personal way, a way that is tailored to our own personalities, needs, etc.

 

[corsair]

I think that one must try to encounter Christ with all his/her faculties. Most importantly is the intellect. It can’t be all emotion or feelings. Intellect must lead the way; followed by the others.

 

[ccmcmg]

I also posted something similar recently. I feel I’m even more devout in many ways than I have been in my life, yet I don’t ‘feel’ that deep, spiritual connection I long for, and, through His Grace and the Holy Spirit, experienced in 1999. I thought it was ‘doubt’, but I don’t think it is, now. I believe. I BELIEVE. I believe now more than ever. Deeply! It’s much easier to believe when you are “Thomas” and have been shown and proven His sacrifice. A real test is believing even when you don’t have the proof that you think you deserve! Yet, if we look around, He proves Himself all around us. The ‘questions’ that come to my mind, seem to want me to doubt, and no, many things don’t make ‘sense’ to this mere human. But I know they are real and true…because I believe!

I don’t have all the answers…or any of them. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=769441, which reassured me greatly, and might help you as well.
God Bless.
Christina

 

[Bob_Crowley]

Hi
I’ve been trying my hand at being a devout Catholic for a little over 3 months now. I now own a bible and a rosary, and I’ve used both to further my faith. One of the biggest boosts of my faith so far has been reading the diary of St. Faustina. I was intrigued and mind blown at her journey with the Lord, but I must admit, I was a little jealous. I really wished I could have such a close relationship with Jesus, being able to talk to him and actually hear his responses. So what I want to get at here is, what am I missing? I just recently went to confession and cleared myself of a mortal sin that’s been a thorn in my side for a long time now. I’m sure that it definitely kept me cut off from God in some way. I still feel like I’m missing something though… I’m not sure if it’s just God hasn’t entered my life yet, or I haven’t committed myself enough maybe. I was kinda expecting to have some feeling of being guided toward what God wants of me, but nope. I haven’t really experienced God in a way that specifically tells me “there’s no doubt that was him.” The only thing so far has been answers to my questions that appear randomly during Mass. I often worry that I don’t have enough faith, and have trouble putting solid certainty in encounters with him. Recently I had been thinking that I probably have such a hard time having faith because I have never really had a faith experience with God, something to really set it in stone. Ironically, God decided to answer that during yesterdays mass. The story of Thomas the Apostle, or “Doubting Thomas” came up. Jesus answered my question when he said “blessed are those that have not seen, and yet have believed.” If that’s true, then how are people able to believe without seeing? Why is it so hard for me? I try to tell myself that I believe, but I don’t feel it. Btw, sorry for the long read… Just venting…

I suppose in the early days of my Christian faith, I was a bit like you. I had my first “double whammy” (like a breath going through you in waves from head to foot) at a time when I was wondering “How do I know this is real, and not just a psychological crutch?”

However I wasn’t expecting anything, and when it happened, I nearly fell off the chair I got such a shock. It happened twice more over the next few months, maybe a year, but between the second and third occasions I had so many demonic counterfeits that I was feeling quite cynical by the time I got to the third. What had been an enthralling contact byh the divine had become an occasion for feeling of cynical scepticism.

I can also assure you that even if God makes it very clear to you that He exists by some direct experience, succeeding circumstances, God Himself and the Devil can, between them, make youi feel quite disillusioned with HIm, even though you’ll know beyond doubt that He exists.

If God does give you some clear indication He’s there, don’t think that from there on in the path will be a bed of roses. I’ve got no doubt Mother Teresa had many intimations that God existed, but she herself admitted that she spent years in a “dark night of the soul”. There she was giving her all in His service, and all she seemed to be getting back from HIm was rejection.

I know this much - if a “double whammy” or something else comes your way, you won’t expect it. It’ll happen when you’re not even thinking about it. And it will be very, very clear. You’ll know.

But if God does something like that in your life, it seems to give the devil some sort of legal right to start game playing with your spiritual discernment. It’s a mixed blessing at the best of times. Eventually you develop a sort of immunity but at the cost of enthusiasm.

 

[WaitingForJesus]

Hi
I’ve been trying my hand at being a devout Catholic for a little over 3 months now. I now own a bible and a rosary, and I’ve used both to further my faith. One of the biggest boosts of my faith so far has been reading the diary of St. Faustina. I was intrigued and mind blown at her journey with the Lord, but I must admit, I was a little jealous. I really wished I could have such a close relationship with Jesus, being able to talk to him and actually hear his responses. So what I want to get at here is, what am I missing?..The only thing so far has been answers to my questions that appear randomly during Mass… Just venting…

A couple of things. St. Faustina’s relationship with the Lord developed over many, many years. The main thing you need to do is pray and read scripture every day. You may or may not receive the special graces Faustina received…not all people are of the right disposition for that. Don’t worry if you don’t. The Lord knows what is best for you. And, if you do seek him with all your heart, mind and soul, He will respond. But, you must watch closely and attune yourself to the ways in which he is speaking to you. For instance, the answers to your questions that “randomly appear” at mass are not random at all. It sounds as if you have only been at this a few months. Be patient. You will begin to see other ways in which He is communicating with you.

 

[ajecphotos]

We all search for God in our lives. I for one yearn for him in my life. I would love to feel him more closely in my life. I would love to have him in my life like S Faustina did but we are all different and I guess God has ideas for all of us.

All I know is that to be as one with God as is humanly possible is the only way forward. I wish for more but have to accept what he asks of me. I aim to get closer to him as much as is possible.

 

[CatholicRaven]

One thing I was told is that, “faith isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice.” That’s true, but it’s generally also a choice based on reasonable evidence–or if it’s based only on feelings, then when the good feelings subside, we begin to question and/or lose our faith. Sometimes, we trust the person who tells us, so our faith is based on their word. But like Thomas, sometimes we need more than someone else’s word in order to believe. See, we sometimes forget that even though Thomas didn’t believe Jesus had risen until he saw Jesus for himself, Thomas still became a saint!

IME, faith is often based on personal experiences or evidence that can’t be adequately explained to others, and can’t generally be proved by tangible or verifiable evidence. For me, it’s in lots of “little things,” that God grants to me, or “little prayers” that He answers. Some people would say that’s definitely not enough evidence (especially separately), but for me, each little answered prayer or small blessing renews my faith and reminds me that God loves me. I know that God exists, but I could not prove it to someone who doesn’t know me or doesn’t trust that I’m intelligent enough to analyze my experiences.

As for wanting to have a closer relationship with Jesus, it might help to remember that it takes time and effort to build relationships–and maintenance to keep them strong. Jesus is a Person with Whom we have a relationship. It takes our effort, trust, time, sacrifice, and love for that relationship to become closer. He has given us the things we need to get to know Him (the Church, the Commandments, the Scriptures, prayer, the Sacraments, etc.), so it can be done, and it sounds like you’ve got a good start. Keep it up! And give it time.

 

[aspirant]

I’ve been trying my hand at being a devout Catholic for a little over 3 months now. I now own a bible and a rosary, and I’ve used both to further my faith.

Others have voiced welcome and encouragement-- allow me to add my own voice, too. Welcome!

I was intrigued and mind blown at {St. Faustina’s} journey with the Lord, but I must admit, I was a little jealous. I really wished I could have such a close relationship with Jesus, being able to talk to him and actually hear his responses.

I can understand that. It’s OK to feel that way, and to acknowledge and even vent those feelings, especially to Jesus.

Try to remember, at the same time, that Jesus engaged St. Faustina in a way that Jesus knew would be most appropriate, best suited, to Faustina herself (and even that changed over the course of her life). Her journey with Jesus is uniquely hers.

I mean this: he does not engage each of us in the same way, but engages each of us in the way most appropriate and best suited to each person. Though we travel together and truly need one another, each of our experiences in the journey with Jesus is our own. Jesus engages Faustina in a “Faustina way”; Jesus engages Skyhighblue34 in a “Skyhighblue34 way.” So while the feelings you describe above may be understandable, remember that Jesus has a way better suited to Skyhighblue34 than Faustina’s way would be suited to Skyhighblue34. Therefore yearn to communicate with Jesus through the way he engages you, and not through the way he engages someone else: it’s personally tailored to you, because he loves you as you and wants you to become a radiantly holy Skyhighblue34, not a copy of St. Faustina.

St. Faustina is totally awesome, and we rightly thank Jesus for her, but Jesus has St. Faustina and doesn’t want another. He wants a St. Skyhighblue34. We want and need a St. Skyhighblue34. Only you can become that saint.

The vast, alsmost extreme majority of Catholics since the time of Christ have not had God (the Father, Christ, or the Holy Spirit) speak to them. You are in good company.

To choose an extreme example: Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, founder of the Missionaries of Charity. Who among us does not see God’s life radiating from her? And yet she wrote: “the place of God in my soul is blank-- There is no God in me… Sometimes-- I just hear my own heart cry out-- ‘My God’ and nothing else comes-- The torture and pain I can’t explain.” Hers is not a life filled with consolations and a sense of God’s presence. Yet God is present.

God gives us direction; through Scritpture, and through the teaching of the Church; officially, and through the saints. We may not get a message that is loud and clear; but the messages are there. For example, everyone has talents… God is “talking” to those people.

And understand; sometimes God’s answer is not what we want to hear; and sometimes, it seems to be silence. Both have a purpose, one we may never understand. Our problem is not to understand every lst thing’ it is to have faith and trust…

I think it is good that you are pursing God and desire a closer relationship with Him. Be patient though and enjoy the journey. Do your part to cultivate that relationship, but don’t expect your relationship to be just like anyone else’s. He relates to us in a very personal way, a way that is tailored to our own personalities, needs, etc.

 

[ccmcmg]

I suppose in the early days of my Christian faith, I was a bit like you. I had my first “double whammy” (like a breath going through you in waves from head to foot) at a time when I was wondering “How do I know this is real, and not just a psychological crutch?”

However I wasn’t expecting anything, and when it happened, I nearly fell off the chair I got such a shock. It happened twice more over the next few months, maybe a year, but between the second and third occasions I had so many demonic counterfeits that I was feeling quite cynical by the time I got to the third. What had been an enthralling contact byh the divine had become an occasion for feeling of cynical scepticism.

I can also assure you that even if God makes it very clear to you that He exists by some direct experience, succeeding circumstances, God Himself and the Devil can, between them, make youi feel quite disillusioned with HIm, even though you’ll know beyond doubt that He exists.

If God does give you some clear indication He’s there, don’t think that from there on in the path will be a bed of roses. I’ve got no doubt Mother Teresa had many intimations that God existed, but she herself admitted that she spent years in a “dark night of the soul”. There she was giving her all in His service, and all she seemed to be getting back from HIm was rejection.

I know this much - if a “double whammy” or something else comes your way, you won’t expect it. It’ll happen when you’re not even thinking about it. And it will be very, very clear. You’ll know.

But if God does something like that in your life, it seems to give the devil some sort of legal right to start game playing with your spiritual discernment. It’s a mixed blessing at the best of times. Eventually you develop a sort of immunity but at the cost of enthusiasm.

For me, He arrived as the Holy Spirit during Mass, when I least expected and least deserved ANY Graces. I was in a pit of darkness, not even having faith, but going through the motions; not wanting or asking to believe or be shown a sign. I was truly in despair.

I was blessed, that I KNEW It was Him. And yes, the devil does work to get you back. We seem to accept the devil’s temptations in our life easier than we accept His Love and Grace. I was tempted to steal, of all things, or tempted to lie…on things just as simple as a piece of candy, or almost as simple as what I had done that day or what time it was! Things that even when I was in the devil’s ‘backpocket’ as I called it, had never tempted me! It was like I truly did have the devil on my shoulder. But I had God’s full Grace and Spirit in me and easily resisted those things. After a couple weeks, the Spirit changed in me, and I was on my own, so to speak, to find my way on His path; He was with me, but in a different way. The devil got me back, somewhat, a few years later, by working on me through others, and I didn’t see it coming; I accept full responsibility for it, but now I can see how it happened.

Since returning to Him and the Faith, I’ve yearned for, longed for, that wonderful Joy and Grace He shared with me. I will get it, by His Grace, in Heaven. From posts on here, and Gospel readings, and sermons, I’ve had some changes in how I view it. I believe; I know Him, although I’m a sinner and not worthy. How great is it that we can believe without those ‘signs’ that we long for?! Thomas did not believe until he saw Him with his own eyes, but Jesus would not have appeared to him if He had not wanted that for Thomas. Blessed are those that have not seen, yet still believed.

It does reassure me that Mother Teresa and others have had those ‘dry’ periods where they believed with all their heart and soul, but did not feel Him back. Yet, remember…those footprints on the sand? The one path was when He was carrying you…

C

 

[Skyhighblue34]

We all search for God in our lives. I for one yearn for him in my life. I would love to feel him more closely in my life. I would love to have him in my life like S Faustina did but we are all different and I guess God has ideas for all of us.

All I know is that to be as one with God as is humanly possible is the only way forward. I wish for more but have to accept what he asks of me. I aim to get closer to him as much as is possible.

I’m with you there buddy. Amen brotha!