Sometimes people pray particular prayers for a certain length of time. Novenas go for nine days; thirty-day prayers go for thirty days; and so on.
It’s not really a magical formula or anything; the motive is for consistency and focus. You sit down and you pay attention to who you’re talking to, rather than just saying words in the air, and you think about that person you’re talking to, and how their situation on earth might have been similar or worse than something you’re dealing with, and you connect with them.
So, for example, one popular thirty-day prayer to St. Joseph begins–
Ever blessed and glorious Joseph, kind and loving father, and helpful friend of all in sorrow! You are the good father and protector of orphans, the defender of the defenseless, the patron of those in need and sorrow. Look kindly on my request. My sins have drawn down on me the just displeasure of my God, and so I am surrounded with unhappiness. To you, loving guardian of the Family of Nazareth, do I go for help and protection.
Listen, then, I beg you, with fatherly concern, to my earnest prayers, and obtain for me the favors I ask.
And so while you’re saying the words, you need to be thinking about what you’re talking about in your heart. And you repeat it for thirty days, trying to grow in your meditations upon and relationship with St. Joseph.
Usually, the best kind of prayers are “please help me do God’s will in x” rather than “please change that person” or “please do this specific thing that I really want.” Because the people in heaven are united with God, and aren’t going to weigh in on doing x, y, and z if it’s contrary to the will of God… but if you ask for the graces you need to cooperate with God, then that sort of prayer is far more likely to get results.
But you can’t just sit on your hands and say, “God, take care of this, okay?” Because sometimes he does… but more often than not, your cooperation is a necessary element. So just like I can pray, “Dear God, please give me a clean kitchen—!” I’m not going to hold my breath for my 5-yo to suddenly start doing the dishes.
And likewise, I’m not going to have much luck if I pray, “Dear God, I do all the work around here, can you get my family to help out?”
But if I pray, “Dear God, please give me the graces I need to play my role better, so that my husband isn’t stressed by my clutter, and my children have a better environment in which to grow—” and then I focus on setting aside extra time for doing what needs to be done— and I ask for God’s grace to keep going, instead of changing for a week, and then falling back into old habits— then that’s the sort of prayer that is better. But it still requires effort… change doesn’t happen without work, unless you’re getting into miracle change-of-heart territory.
