What are my options?

[Olive_Asthworth]

I would like to explain my situation and maybe someone can help me figure out where to go from there.

In 1966, I was baptized a Roman Catholic when I was an infant, but then my parents stopped attending Catholic Church when I was a baby. I was raised basically an atheist, with no religious upbringing at all.

In 1986, when I was 20 years old, I married a guy. We divorced in 1989. It was a civil ceremony at the courthouse. As far as I know, he was also an atheist. We had no contact at all after that and I do not even know this man’s whereabouts or indeed if he is even alive. At this time, I do not have any paperwork that shows my marriage to this man. But my current marriage certificate shows the date of the divorce from this man.

In March of 2000, I remarried and am happily married to a Mormon man (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). At the time of my marriage to my current husband, I was still a baptized but non-practicing Catholic, and he was a baptized Mormon (though non-practicing at that time). Our marriage was civil.

In April of 2012, my mother died. I was at her side as she died and this started me thinking about God and the afterlife. So I started to investigate religion, but I didn’t know much about anything as far as Christianity, and, to be honest, I didn’t really know there was much difference in the various Christian groups.

In February of 2013, I decided to investigate the Mormon Church since my husband was raised a Mormon. However, he had been inactive in the Mormon Church for about 25 years, so we decided to attend together. Eventually he became an active Mormon again and baptized me into the Mormon Church. However, I believe Catholics do not recognize this as a true baptism since Mormons are non-trinitarian.

In April 2013, I had a personal conversion experience where I believed strongly that God existed and that Jesus loved me, and I considered myself a true Christian from then on. Very early on in my Mormon experience I realized that I disagreed with the teachings of the Mormon Church.

In May of 2015, I stopped attending the Mormon Church and have not returned since. At this time I completely reject that church and all its teachings, and I accept the Catholic doctrines. At that time started praying DAILY on a Catholic Rosary, as well as the Chaplet of Divine Mercy several times a week, and these have CHANGED MY LIFE!!!

In June 2015, I began to attend a nearby Methodist Church. The basic theology of Methodism and Catholicism are actually quite similar. Because of that, I remembered that I still had my Catholic baptismal certificate and wanted to start researching my Catholic roots. However, Mormons do not like Catholics and believe they are a false church (and vice versa). So I did not get much support in the way of wanting to explore the Catholic faith, and, in fact, my husband prefers I attend the Methodist Church instead. But the fact is, I AM A BAPTIZED CATHOLIC, and I reject the Mormon faith completely, and I never officially rejected nor accepted the Catholic faith because I have never even been instructed in it and knew nothing about it and, therefore, could not officially reject or accept something I know nothing about. I saw a few “Catholics Come Home” videos that moved me to tears and decided to investigate the Catholic Church and consider “coming home.” Also, the fact that the Mormons freak out so much about Catholics makes me wonder why, and perhaps the Catholic Church is the one true church on earth and the Mormons are threatened by that.

So I would like to know the following:

1. Exactly what steps are necessary, based on my situation as described above, for me to become a Catholic in good standing?
2. I understand there would be a Catholic annulment process. Exactly what papers are necessary and what is involved in this process? How much does it cost?
3. Would my current marriage also need to be blessed in order for me to receive communion? I do not know if my husband would want anything to do with being involved in that. If he does not want the blessing, does that mean I can still not receive communion unless my marriage is blessed?
4. Can I still talk to a priest at any time, i.e., give confession, or must I wait for some reason? Just in case I want to go to confession, do I have to wait?
5. Can I currently attend mass and live my daily life as a Catholic but NOT receive communion? I am willing to do that and could still consider myself a Catholic since I believe in the doctrines and I feel drawn to Pope Francis. (I pray for His Holiness and his intentions daily on the Rosary as well.) However, I am curious about becoming a Catholic in good standing. I can always receive communion at the Methodist Church, although I understand it is not quite the same thing.
6. Can I start taking RCIA classes in the middle, or must one wait until the beginning of the classes, usually the summer?
7. Can I still participate in every part of Catholic life, i.e., various ministries, EXCEPT receiving Eucharist? Am I welcome to attend Mass indefinitely and still NOT receive communion?
8. Where does confirmation fit in for me?

Sorry for the long post but I appreciate anyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[Casilda]

1. Exactly what steps are necessary, based on my situation as described above, for me to become a Catholic in good standing?

my advice, make an appointment to speak to a priest at your nearest Catholic church

1. I understand there would be a Catholic annulment process. Exactly what papers are necessary and what is involved in this process? How much does it cost?

a priest is the best source of advice

1. Would my current marriage also need to be blessed in order for me to receive communion? I do not know if my husband would want anything to do with being involved in that. If he does not want the blessing, does that mean I can still not receive communion unless my marriage is blessed?

***you can still be a Catholic, in the fullest sense, even though your spouse doesn’t convert

---

1. Can I still talk to a priest at any time, i.e., give confession, or must I wait for some reason? Just in case I want to go to confession, do I have to wait?

***now that’s a tricky question. Technically you are Catholic, just not a sacramentalized one. I got that one thrown at me. I was baptized a few years earlier than you, my parents left the church forever shortly after I received first holy communion. I kept the faith, even though we didn’t go to any church. As a teen and just recently, I could not get an appointment with a priest and the one I tried making a confession to refused to hear it. I hope you have better luck than I did. ***

1. Can I currently attend mass and live my daily life as a Catholic but NOT receive communion?

YES

I am willing to do that and could still consider myself a Catholic since I believe in the doctrines and I feel drawn to Pope Francis. (I pray for His Holiness and his intentions daily on the Rosary as well.) However, I am curious about becoming a Catholic in good standing. I can always receive communion at the Methodist Church, although I understand it is not quite the same thing.

1. Can I start taking RCIA classes in the middle, or must one wait until the beginning of the classes, usually the summer?

oh boy, another tricky question. I am just being honest, because people here will generalize and I have found where I live things are much contrary. The bigger parishes have their set schedules, so not much help with deviations to them. Try finding a smaller parish, much better luck with actually speaking with a priest and maybe having one on one faith classes.

1. Can I still participate in every part of Catholic life, i.e., various ministries, EXCEPT receiving Eucharist? Am I welcome to attend Mass indefinitely and still NOT receive communion?

technically, yes

1. Where does confirmation fit in for me?

well, you are in my youngest sister’s boat. You need to start from almost scratch. You need instruction to receive first holy communion, at which time you will also be confirmed. You still will not be able to receive communion, because of the sacrament of marriage issue. So all those should happen at once. To get the ball rolling, see a priest. Welcome home!

Sorry for the long post but I appreciate anyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[St_Francis]

Definitely speak to a priest who will be able to sort out your situation. Some priests are not helpful (some are very busy), so persevere!!!

Sometimes the best thing to do is to wait til most of the people have said hello to Father after Mass (out front) and then approach him and ask for the best way to have an appointment is–he may be able to make an apointment right then or tell you a good time to call for one.

Mondays are often the priest’s day off; don’t call on Monday! And small parishes sometimes have limited office hours so look on the bulletin or listen for the office hours on the recording.

In the meantime, Jesus will be delighted for you to go to Mass without receiving–you can make a Spiritual Communion until you can receive Communion.

And here is information about contrition and the Act of Contrition (prayer).

How wonderful that you have received and responded to this grace from God!

 

[St_Francis]

A couple more answers:
You will need to wait until you have sorted out your marriage situation to receive confession as well as Communion, and the priest may also want you to receive instruction before that as well.

You might go ahead and start getting your paperwork together: baptismal certificate, both marriage certificates, and divorce decree. You may need more than those or you may not, bit you will probably need those to start with.

You may definitely attend Mass without receiving Communion for as long as it takes to sort your situation out, and probably to volunteer in projects which are not related to the sacraments, so you could volunteer at the St Vincent de Paul Society but not read readings at Mass.

 

[Catholic1954]

You need the advice of a wise and holy priest. Starting checking out your local Catholic churches and attending Mass on Sunday (no communion, please, you have not received all the sacraments yet). When you find a priest that you are comfortable with, call that parish office and ask to make an appointment to speak with him, and he will guide you through the process. The Holy Spirit is calling you back into the Catholic Church; it may take a year or two (and lots of paperwork) but hang in there; it will be worth the wait to be able to receive Jesus in the Eucharist (every day if you want!) Welcome Home! :grouphug:

 

[wild_thing]

I agree with the other posters- your best bet is to call the priest of your local parish and explain everything you posted here. He’ll be able to help you out. Welcome Home!

 

[Magdalen2013]

Actually, most RCIA groups begin in September/October, so if your priest agrees, you could start immediately.

 

[Olive_Asthworth]

Thank you very much for all the helpful advice!

I found this article which is also enlightening:

canonlawmadeeasy.com/2007/08/09/cath_noncath_marriage/

 

[Phemie]

Thank you very much for all the helpful advice!

I found this article which is also enlightening:

canonlawmadeeasy.com/2007/08/09/cath_noncath_marriage/

There is a good chance that your marriage situation may be rectified easily – or more easily than you think.

You never officially defected from the Church, therefore, because you didn’t have a dispensation to marry outside the Church, neither of your marriages would be considered valid. That means that no annulment should be required, just paperwork. As St. Francis said in a post above, get all the paperwork together: your Certificate of Baptism, your marriage registration for your first marriage, your divorce papers, etc.

Once that first marriage is dealt with, you will have to convalidate your second marriage. That will mean getting a dispensation to marry a non-baptized person (the priest does that, not you) and either a simple convalidation which is really a wedding in the Church or a radical sanation (healing at the root) which is paperwork done by the priest and the bishop that renders your marriage valid without you and your husband having to have a ceremony. Radical sanation is the convalidation process used when one of the parties refuses to go through a Church ceremony.

Now, make sure you give your husband a chance to agree to a wedding, don’t just assume he’ll say “NO!” But if he does say “no,” you know that there is another option.

Keep going to Mass, don’t receive Communion, learn your prayers and maybe buy a Youcat, the Youth Catechism of the Catholic Church. Since you haven’t been catechized it’s a good place to start. It’s in a question and answer format but with explanations. It’s simple but not childish and because it links its answers to specific articles in the large Catechism, you can always go read in more depth by going to the online Catechism.

 

[dcs]

You never officially defected from the Church

The “formal defection” “loophole”(? – for lack of a better word) was removed by Pope Benedict XVI. So whether one formally defects from the Church has no bearing on the (in)validity of marriages contracted outside of the Church.

 

[Phemie]

The “formal defection” “loophole”(? – for lack of a better word) was removed by Pope Benedict XVI. So whether one formally defects from the Church has no bearing on the (in)validity of marriages contracted outside of the Church.

It doesn’t now but it did when the OP got married the first time.

 

[HelenRose]

Actually, most RCIA groups begin in September/October, so if your priest agrees, you could start immediately.

RICA classes are open for anyone in my Church. There are life long Catholics who attend to learn more and there are those who attend who are just asking questions.

 

[FrDavid96]

I would like to explain my situation and maybe someone can help me figure out where to go from there.
…

Here’s the bare bones answer:

You can go to any priest for confession at any time. As long as you were baptized Catholic, you can do this.

As for the marriage situation and the other sacraments, you need to speak to the pastor of the place where you live. He is the only one who can answer your questions–not anyone on the internet.

Don’t hesitate to contact him.

 

[mamlukman]

I’ll add my 2¢ worth, although most duplicates the responses of others:

1. Exactly what steps are necessary, based on my situation as described above, for me to become a Catholic in good standing?

It seems you’ve never received First Communion, gone to confession, or been confirmed. You would probably have to go through RCIA (or some alternative approved by a parish).

1. I understand there would be a Catholic annulment process. Exactly what papers are necessary and what is involved in this process? How much does it cost?

You were never married in a Catholic ceremony. So as far as the Catholic Church is concerned, you were never married. No annulment needed; it’s not necessary. It’s only necessary if you were married in a Catholic ceremony, or a ceremony where you had permission or dispensation (as another person explained in detail).

1. Would my current marriage also need to be blessed in order for me to receive communion? I do not know if my husband would want anything to do with being involved in that. If he does not want the blessing, does that mean I can still not receive communion unless my marriage is blessed?

Yes. But as another person responded, there is a provision if your partner refuses to participate in a ceremony. Until then, you should not go to Communion–not just for this reason, but because you need more instruction–see question #1.

1. Can I still talk to a priest at any time, i.e., give confession, or must I wait for some reason? Just in case I want to go to confession, do I have to wait?

Pick up the phone. I would suspect a priest would prefer an appointment to discuss your situation rather than springing it on him in confession, where he might have limited time. You may or may not have to shop around for a sympathetic priest.

1. Can I currently attend mass and live my daily life as a Catholic but NOT receive communion? I am willing to do that and could still consider myself a Catholic since I believe in the doctrines and I feel drawn to Pope Francis. (I pray for His Holiness and his intentions daily on the Rosary as well.) However, I am curious about becoming a Catholic in good standing. I can always receive communion at the Methodist Church, although I understand it is not quite the same thing.

“Not quite the same thing” indeed! Which goes back to the two paragraphs where you talked about praying the rosary, etc. and then started the next paragraph by saying you went to a Methodist church. To me that’s sort of like saying “I like to eat steak every night, but I’ve been a vegetarian for the last six months.” Wha??? If you want to be a Catholic, you don’t go to the Methodist church–certainly not for communion.

1. Can I start taking RCIA classes in the middle, or must one wait until the beginning of the classes, usually the summer?

Each parish is different. Ask. You might have to shop around a bit if there are several parishes nearby. I know my own parish accepted two new RCIA members last week, even though it was week #5.

1. Can I still participate in every part of Catholic life, i.e., various ministries, EXCEPT receiving Eucharist? Am I welcome to attend Mass indefinitely and still NOT receive communion?

Sure. Except confession–I think they would want you a bit formally prepared for that. And there are certain things reserved for Catholics–like being a lector at Mass.

1. Where does confirmation fit in for me?

You would have to have confession and communion first. The bishop (he can also delegate a priest) has to perform confirmation. That would be a different ceremony, but it could follow confession and communion very quickly–depending on the parish, again.

 

[Phemie]

Sure. Except confession–I think they would want you a bit formally prepared for that. And there are certain things reserved for Catholics–like being a lector at Mass.

You would have to have confession and communion first. The bishop (he can also delegate a priest) has to perform confirmation. That would be a different ceremony, but it could follow confession and communion very quickly–depending on the parish, again.

No reason she couldn’t be confirmed and receive Communion in the same ceremony if the priest delagates Confirmation to her pastor.