Forgive my ignorance but I have limited experience with them and they seem so standoffish and intimidating. I grew up in a small Protestant church. The minister played games with the kids, knew everyone’s name, made house calls and hospital visits, and always tried to hug/handshake and greet everyone. Are priests the same? I’ve worked with a few when doing community outreach, but it was in a professional/organizational setting, so I didn’t really see them with their parishioners, but they seemed nice enough.
You’re getting a number of catholic responses, so let me provide you with a non-catholic perspective. My extended family has many catholic members so over the years I’ve had occasion to interact with a number of priests. I’ll mention 5 that stand out. Two were active 20-25 years ago and were warm and friendly, eager to engage with those outside the church, cared deeply about their parishioners and enjoyed sports and social activities and were very much in the “going my way” style of priest. Both were also considered to have great integrity, and were knowledgeable in their faith (although I wasn’t able to assess that at the time I knew them).
Two others I knew from 5-10 years ago were also considered to have great integrity, and were said to be knowledgeable in the faith and very devoted to their parishioners. I, as did others in the family who were not catholic, found them to be cool, and somewhat standoffish, as you put it. When I was considering catholicism, both were asked by my relatives to discuss things with me, and both declined, one stating that my only being willing to give an open mind to the faith wasn’t sufficient, that he wouldn’t talk to me until I was “broken” and “ready”.
There seemed to be a shift from open engagement with those outside, to a focus on those inside (a small sample I admit, but in brief interactions with priests since then, I’ve found this coolness to be the default mode with people who aren’t deferential to them.
The fifth was active 40+ years ago and was a favourite of the community. My relatives attended his parish, and he was involved with numerous civic endeavours and community causes. When my family attended events where he was as well, he never failed to speak to my parents and spend some time fussing over me. While we were encouraged to become catholic by the other family members, it never quite happened and I grew up attending another denomination. Years later, after his passing, it became known that he had “intimate friendships” with a number of teen boys in the parish (including two of my relatives) who had all kept quiet out of feeling like they were the only one and the guilt of possibly offending the tremendous love that was felt for him. While he did tremendous good, and was very open to other people, I can’t help but feel I dodged a bullet by our not becoming catholic.
So my wish has always been that there would be more priests like the first two, who could find common ground with people and interact in spite of differences, but I seem to only meet ones like the latter two these days. I can only hope that we’ll reach a point some day where no one has to experience a priest with the dark side of the 5th one, only the good side.
Hope that helps.
] invited them to family gatherings and parties with friends - and just over for lunch … out to dinner or Pizza . everything I would do with any other friend really …
), but he’s very knowledgeable about the faith. The other, the youngest, is a more philosophical daydreamer type.