What are some dos and don'ts of visiting friars in discernment during a time not a come and see weekend or retreat?

[foolishmortal]

I would guess that you don’t complain about anything. What about taking hot showers (should you take the in-and-out kind of military shower)? What about proper or improper clothes (like, are knit shirts, if warm, and slacks proper or should you wear a tie all the time or for anything in particular)?

Does it depend on how primitive an observance it is (in estimating income from apostolates or donations only)?

I don’t want to come off as spoiled, though I do have a gut I never lost. Still, I can walk for hours (with water, if it’s warm outside) and my room has been cold on cold nights and I haven’t complained.

What’s a suggested donation for a week’s stay if the community has a media apostolate? What if it has nothing of one (like the FPO)?

Thanks!
Phil

 

[Trishie]

Phil, be authentic. Be yourself. It’s you whom God calls, is He calls you. Take guidance from them. May the Holy Spirit guide both you and them. I would think, dress comfortable and respectably.

God bless you.

 

[foolishmortal]

Thank you and God bless you too!

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

I would guess that you don’t complain about anything. What about taking hot showers (should you take the in-and-out kind of military shower)? What about proper or improper clothes (like, are knit shirts, if warm, and slacks proper or should you wear a tie all the time or for anything in particular)?

Does it depend on how primitive an observance it is (in estimating income from apostolates or donations only)?

I don’t want to come off as spoiled, though I do have a gut I never lost. Still, I can walk for hours (with water, if it’s warm outside) and my room has been cold on cold nights and I haven’t complained.

What’s a suggested donation for a week’s stay if the community has a media apostolate? What if it has nothing of one (like the FPO)?

Thanks!
Phil

I would not worry overmuch over the clothes issue. You are not an actual part of the community so with the given that your clothes are in good taste don’t let it worry you at all,( Perhaps pack clothes that can do double duty in other words you might pack lightly.) Dress Comfortably and appropriately for the weather and for any activities you may be involved in (For instance when I visit the Sisters in Spokane I take one set of clothes for mass as well as an outfit or two to wear around the guest house and then one set for when I am helping with cleaning and gardening) Basically there is no hard and fast rule.
I would not worry about the hot shower issue either. Most communities have rooms or areas for non members and wish them to be comfortable. If you are worried at all about the “etiquette” why not ask the person who is acting as your liason or guest master? If money is tight for them or if they are in midst of drought they may appreciate the thought behind the “quick” shower. Basically connect with your Liason. Ask questions that is what you are there for. As for appropriate stipends?? why not ask? Gifts would vary depending on their needs and your pocket book … trust me they won’t mind your asking…

Blessings on Your Discernment *