What are some things people have said to you for having a big family? and how did you handle it

[Gardening_Mommy]

No, dafalax, you aren’t crazy. As others have said, yes, people assume you’re contracepting when you have just two. Eyebrows start getting raised at three, and people start making comments that open all sorts of doors for evangelizing!

As for those who might feel guilty, that’s society or your family talking, not God. Actually, that’s the misinformed segments of society; Malthus predicted there would be widespread starvation and wars over food by 1980. It didn’t happen; the “population bomb” was an absolute fizzle. But the 9th grade CCD kids I had last year still insisted that the world is “overpopulated.” Why? Because that’s what the public schools told them. sigh

Smithsonian magazine just had an article (ok, it was from October 2006; I’m way behind on my magazines!) on the U.S. reaching a population of 300 million. smithsonianmagazine.com/issues/2006/october/presence.php
Most of the article was about why this was such a good thing, considering the economic and social nightmares that Europe, China, Japan, etc. are racing into with their rapidly greying population and low, low birthrates. I was amazed to see this in a secular magazine.

Even the UN is starting to admit that there are millions and millions of “missing” girls in India alone because of sex-selection abortions. And what happens when those millions of men realize they will never have a wife because the few women that were left have married the rich guys?

 

[PilgrimSong]

I had a midwife for Baby #7 (the midwife also had seven children, and then had another and a set of twins). I told her about getting the comment, “Don’t you know what causes that?” She said she tells the person, “Well, we THOUGHT we did, but if that were the case, we’d have thousands of 'em by now.” (said with a puzzled look)

 

[JLCecilia]

Hah! I heard a comedian spout a line about having 5 children of her own: We’re determined, we’re going to keep trying until we get one we like! I am the youngest of 6 and my husband’s sister-in-law is the youngest of 8 or 9 and we just joke that our parents finally got a ‘good’ one when they had us, so they could quit trying.

Just a lighter note.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I told her about getting the comment, “Don’t you know what causes that?” She said she tells the person, “Well, we THOUGHT we did, but if that were the case, we’d have thousands of 'em by now.” (said with a puzzled look)

I have to remember that one!

 

[VstandingstillV]

It’s been so interesting reading all these posts because coming from Utah (or at least a smaller town in Utah) all these snide remarks about large families are practically nonexistant. In fact, it’s almost the opposite, if you have only two children people wonder about you. I come from a family of 6 and I love it. My family’s size is around the normal range here. I have many friends who come from anywhere between 5 and even 20 children (of course the last number was helped by multiple wives but that is the rare exception nowadays). One thing I have gotten from growing up in a large family is simply being confused as a good Mormon but that opens up a conversation where hopefully they realize that Catholics aren’t all cannabalistic, evil, power mongers. Another is when we go on trips outside of the state. I can always feel the eyes of people staring at us six kids following our mom and dad which is a very weird experience.

One response my mom gives to people outside of Utah is “Well, Utah has fertile soil.” And then she just smiles a smile that says ‘you have no idea what blessings they bring me.’ *

• this does not occur during moments of complete chaos, headaches, or shopping trips. Other responses are used.*

 

[VstandingstillV]

Hah! I heard a comedian spout a line about having 5 children of her own: We’re determined, we’re going to keep trying until we get one we like!

I really like this one!

 

[JLCecilia]

Yeah, I realize that as the baby of 6 I may have a far different outlook on babies than my older siblings who had to change my diapers - so far, besides one nurse at work, 2 of my 3 brothers have been the only ‘opposition’ I’ve encountered. BTW, my husband’s and my 2nd anniv. is in August, our first just turned 1 and we are expecting again this Christmas.

After thinking about one brother’s response ‘don’t you know what causes this,’ I want to say, ‘you know, a lot of people have been asking me that and it sounds to me like everyone just hasn’t figured it out yet!’ That or, ‘yeah, we’re just waiting for everyone else to figure it out!’ And then the other brother says to me, ‘can’t you control your hormones?’ Yeah, a lot more than everyone who’s on the pill!!! Or, ‘yeah, just not at the right time!’

I guess I am just being oversensitive b/c we have not ‘planned’ either of our pregnancies in conjunction w/ NFP. Like I said, I think back to my childhood w/ all those big brothers who were like my heroes and I just have these wide-eyed nostalgic memories - bring on the babies!