Hello Robert,
The concept of what it means to be married within the Church involves many aspects. Due to the limitations of the format of this forum, I will not be able to give a very detailed response, but I will also provide links that should be helpful.
Generally speaking, marriage is between a man and a woman who:
- Are of the appropriate age.
- Not related to one another (or at least not closely).
- Free to be married (i.e., neither has a “prior bond” to another spouse, religious vows, etc.).
- Freely consent to be married to one another.
- Convey the proper intentions (i.e., that marriage is a lifelong covenant which requires fidelity and an openness to having children).
- Receive appropriate pre-marriage instructions (so that they understand exactly what they are consenting to).
Moreover, a Catholic is to marry another Catholic and the wedding should take place inside a Catholic church (or other suitable place) in the presence of a member of the Catholic clergy (who acts as the official witness on behalf of the Church) and two other witnesses. The ceremony is to use the Catholic Rite of Marriage. Any deviation from this requires formal permission from one’s bishop, and such permission may or may not be granted depending on the circumstances, the norms of the Church, and/or the policies of one’s diocese. With this in mind, it is possible, for example, for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic, for a wedding to take place somewhere other than a Catholic church, for there to be a non-Catholic minister officiating the ceremony, etc. (so long as one’s bishop has granted approval).
Please keep in mind that more things are involved in wedding preparations and the concept of what makes a marriage valid, and that I am only giving a general overview. Therefore, it is important that Catholics consult a priest or deacon when making wedding plans.
Teachings concerning what constitutes a valid and licit marriage are covered by both the Catechism of the Catholic Church as well as the Code of Canon Law. In terms of the Catechism, the Sacrament of Marriage is discussed in paragraphs 1601-1666 (note, in particular, paragraphs 1621-1637). If you do not have a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church handy, an online version can be accessed
here.
Concerning the teachings of the Code of Canon Law on this subject, the following article gives an overview of it as well as links to the specific canons mentioned:
Catholic Wedding Questions and Answers.
A Catholic who marries outside the Church enters into an invalid marriage and therefore the couple is subjected to grave sin. Please consider the following article by Bishop Michael Sheehan:
Pastoral Care of Couples Who are Cohabitating.
In terms of attending a wedding which is outside the Church, please consult this article by Fr. Francis Hoffman:
”May I Attend the Wedding?”.
The following linked information may also prove insightful to the topic at hand:
May I marry outside the Catholic Church?
United States Conference of Catholic Bishops:
Frequently Asked Questions about Marriage.
