What are your parents like as they are older?

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my parents are really funny:D dad is a goofy person:D he pretends he is grumbling when he is not:D just don’t know if he is serious or not that’s the kicker:D

mom, well, she has this funny trait of correcting me even though iam 41:D i let her do it because she is right. oh yeah, mom likes to wonder if i made frank his coffee. lol!!! umm yeah mom, every morning:)

then mom likes to tell me, well honey, this is the way it is. hee hee hee. yup, she is definitely a sweetie pie even though she is set in her ways. she corrects us even though we are adults.

dad, well, he just is plain funny. he makes me laugh. he likes to think he’s got one over on me, but i know what he is up to. i never tell him though… hee hee hee. what are your parents like?

oh yeah! mom called me a chatterbox!!!😃 lol!!!
 
My parents weren’t “social” much when we were kids, so I never saw much adult interaction with my parents other than with other family members. Now that I am an adult, we have lots of get togethers with close friends, and my parents are usually invited as well. Never knew it, but my Dad is very funny, and extremely social! It is hard to put the two “Dads” together.

He’s also a great writer and public speaker, which I didn’t know until his retirement party!

Oh! And while he usually had a beer or two around the house when I was a kid…when we have a party, I never see him empty handed. :cool:

My mom cracks me up. My parents travel a lot, and when they return, I get a blow by blow account of their trip. I mean every minute detail…from the tablecloths at the restaurants they dined in, to the trial size soaps in the hotels. :whacky:

I am very thankful for them! They have been our child care system since my oldest was born 10 years ago. My children and I are blessed!
 
**I’m only twenty five and my parents are in their sixties! So, they have always been kind of “older” compared to my friends’ parents. But, even so, they’ve always had LOTS of energy and did many exciting things with us. They were (and are) really great parents, always there for us, and “home” still has wide open doors should we ever need them.

The past about 8 years or so they have really started to have more health issues, and are lots lower on energy. The only other thing that has changed now is that they no longer seem to respond to “mom” or “dad” but “grandma” and “grandpa.” That’s my nieces and nephews doing! ;):p:D
**
 
My father was a mean-tempered man, but he has mellowed a lot in his old age, thanks be to God. At 87 he is still quite independent, but he has slowed down due to his arthritis. He doesn’t hear very well even with his hearing aides, and it makes me sad to see him missing out on family conversations when the rest of us are laughing and having a good time. You have to sit right across from him (so he can read your lips) and speak distinctly in order for him to hear you very well. 😦 But he is still completely “with it,” intelligent and articulate as ever. He no longer feels as if he needs to be the stern father-figure, and I have gotten to know a light-hearted, humorous side of his personality which I never knew existed. 🙂

My mother is 80 and she has become more withdrawn. She is afraid to drive anymore except for short, simple trips in low-traffic areas. She spends a lot of time sitting quietly in her chair or lying on the sofa, off in her own world. Many things that she used to care about are of little interest to her anymore; it’s as if her world gets smaller and smaller. Her own mother was the same way, so maybe she thinks this is what you’re supposed to do when you get old. 🤷

One thing which has been kinda hard has been the role-reversal which inevitably takes place as our parents grow old. Mom and Dad were the center of the family, the strong ones. Now I’m the strong one, taking them to doctors’ appointments, making sure things are taken care of, planning the holidays, etc. It’s a natural part of the life cycle, but that doesn’t make it easy, knowing that your parents are aging, becoming frail, and that your remaining time with them on this earth can be measured in months rather than decades.
 
CarrieH said:
My father was a mean-tempered man, but he has mellowed a lot in his old age, thanks be to God. At 87 he is still quite independent, but he has slowed down due to his arthritis. He doesn’t hear very well even with his hearing aides, and it makes me sad to see him missing out on family conversations when the rest of us are laughing and having a good time. You have to sit right across from him (so he can read your lips) and speak distinctly in order for him to hear you very well. 😦 But he is still completely “with it,” intelligent and articulate as ever. He no longer feels as if he needs to be the stern father-figure, and I have gotten to know a light-hearted, humorous side of his personality which I never knew existed. 🙂

My mother is 80 and she has become more withdrawn. She is afraid to drive anymore except for short, simple trips in low-traffic areas. She spends a lot of time sitting quietly in her chair or lying on the sofa, off in her own world. Many things that she used to care about are of little interest to her anymore; it’s as if her world gets smaller and smaller. Her own mother was the same way, so maybe she thinks this is what you’re supposed to do when you get old. 🤷

One thing which has been kinda hard has been the role-reversal which inevitably takes place as our parents grow old. Mom and Dad were the center of the family, the strong ones. Now I’m the strong one, taking them to doctors’ appointments, making sure things are taken care of, planning the holidays, etc. It’s a natural part of the life cycle, but that doesn’t make it easy, knowing that your parents are aging, becoming frail, and that your remaining time with them on this earth can be measured in months rather than decades.
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well, no one knows how long or short ones life is on earth. that is known by God alone. what we can do in the meantime, is give glory to God and live the best earthly life possible, and live it to please Him.

my parents have funnied in their old age. dad is almost 80, and mom is 77. they truly have gone from being strict to being way more mellow. my pop is funny. no 2 ways about it. he thinks that he is getting away with something and he isn’t.😃 he likes to do funny things. they are sweet too. like at my beloved brothers funeral in june, my dad was grieving badly, but he did something so loving and funny that i didn’t let him know i saw him do it.

he took his cane and he tapped my foot really lightly, he put it on my foot and looked away real quick. like it never happened. i saw him do it, and my brother in law was standing next to me, and i said to my brother in law, oh you stepped on my foot! i looked at dad and then at my brother in law and he smiled knew my dad was being goofy.

i never let dad know that i knew what he was up to. he is a sweetie pie. he really is. mom calls me a chatterbox when she is with me, she means it too. i tend to get so excited because i don’t get to see her often, and i tend to talk alot and mom calls me a chatterbox. and she looks away smiling, thinking i never heard her. hee hee hee. i did. and i smile:D

my mom is still strict but not like she was. she is truly a lovely woman. dads are just plain cool. 😃
 
TraditionalCath said:
my parents are really funny:D dad is a goofy person:D he pretends he is grumbling when he is not:D just don’t know if he is serious or not that’s the kicker:D

mom, well, she has this funny trait of correcting me even though iam 41:D i let her do it because she is right. oh yeah, mom likes to wonder if i made frank his coffee. lol!!! umm yeah mom, every morning:)

then mom likes to tell me, well honey, this is the way it is. hee hee hee. yup, she is definitely a sweetie pie even though she is set in her ways. she corrects us even though we are adults.

dad, well, he just is plain funny. he makes me laugh. he likes to think he’s got one over on me, but i know what he is up to. i never tell him though… hee hee hee. what are your parents like?

oh yeah! mom called me a chatterbox!!!😃 lol!!!
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Can your mom and dad adopt me??? I would make a really nice sister for you…promise!

My dad died 16 yrs ago and my mom isn’t a nice person… I truly believe she is narcissistic personality disorder… So I moved across country… gosh I wish my kids had a grandmom like the nice ones you see on TV…
 
My parents divorced when I was 10. They had me when they were young, so we are only 16 & 17 years apart, my dad was older. So we are growing old together I guess you could say, which is pretty cool.

My dad is getting into grampa mode lately, my step sister had a baby, so he is totally into that. He’s mellowed a LOT since he retired and battled a horrible period of depression, and is still at the outer edges of it. I just love him so much, he is such a wonderful daddy to me. He may not be quite the life of the party he used to be, but he has his Faith back and that is more important than anything to me.

My mom is my “cosmic cupcake”. An atheist, and I pray every single day for her conversion. She is a flower child of the baby boom age. We are more friends than we are mother daughter actually, but I like it that way, and have a hard time relating to her in that really super close mother daughter way some women can. As she is getting older she seems to forget things, which is scary to me because she’s only turning 60 in January. But she is finally I think going to quit smoking this time, and I’m so very glad for that. She can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but I do love her dearly. God help me when she really gets old - we may just kill each other! 😊

~Liza
 
BlestOne said:
Can your mom and dad adopt me??? I would make a really nice sister for you…promise!

My dad died 16 yrs ago and my mom isn’t a nice person… I truly believe she is narcissistic personality disorder… So I moved across country… gosh I wish my kids had a grandmom like the nice ones you see on TV…
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sure! welcome to the funny farm! <---- joke😃
 
BlestOne said:
Thanks I feel right at home…
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tell ya what, if you can handle alot of laughing, fun, silliness, good times together as a large family, and tons of caring, then your more than welcome to join my family!👍
 
My dad is pretty funny. He was an engineer for Chrysler before he retired. Very straight-laced, suit and tie, conservative and then he retired…and bought a motorcycle, leather jacket and biker boots -haha. My dad was 41, mom was 43 when I came along so they have been older for a long time, but nobody would guess their age. I was 19 when dad retired, I’m now 35. With the motorcyle thing, dad bought it used so thankfully the thing broke down right after he bought it and he never did get it running again.
My dad wears weird things just to get on my mom’s nerves I think. Bright patterned shirts, funky hats -things I’d never have seen my dad wear growing up. And he refuses to trim his eyebrows which have decided to become feelers, so now he has long, wirey, gray eyebrows which also drives my mom nuts. Again I think it’s on purpose.

My mom well you could say she’s mellowed some. She has mental issues. My teen years were horrible. I think she is nicer to me because she needs me more. My dad bought a second house to take off to when she gets in a fit. She can’t alienate both me and him at the same time because she doesn’t drive.And I think she doesn’t quite have the energy to scream for three hours straight anymore

Some annoying stuff she has always done has become worse. Repeating the same thing 16 different ways especially on the phone for example. She does this a lot.

Example Mom calls
(MOM)“I tried to call you earlier but it was busy”
(ME) “Yes well I was on the phone with xxxx.”
“I kept trying to call.”
“Sorry I was on the phone.”
“We wanted to take (my daughter’s name here) to (such and such place) tonight.”
“Well tonight she has catechism so she can’t anyway, maybe next time.”
“I called five or six times but I couldn’t get through. Are you sure nothing is wrong with your phone?”
“Nothing is wrong with the phone mom, I was talking to xxxx.”
“But I tried calling many times. I needed to talk to you because they are only open until 8 and we wanted to take xxxx with us.”
“Mom, she has catechism tonight. She can’t go anyway.”
“They said in the paper they were going to have special things for Halloween, she would like it.”
“Sounds like fun, too bad she can’t go.”
“Yes, that’s why I kept trying to call. It’s only from 5 until 8.”
“Mom she has catechism she can’t go.”
“She has catechism?”
“Yes.”
“Oh well, the paper said they’d have animals and crafts, that’s why I was trying to call you but I couldn’t get through.”
“Yes, you said that.”
“It’s from 5 until 8.”
“Mom she has catechism, she’s not here.”
“Oh ok, she has catechism tonight?”
“Yes mom, every Wednesday.”
“Oh ok, you know I can’t remember her schedule. Daddy (she calls my dad that) saw it in the paper yesterday, that’s why I was trying to call. Your phone was busy a long time. I couldn’t get you.”

Aaahhhggg. Can you say :banghead: ? I had this conversation two days ago. Translation of all this: I think you took the phone off the hook on purpose because you didn’t want to talk to me. Which of course is completely reasonable because I’m psychic and always know when my mother is going to call. :rolleyes: At least she didn’t say “We could be dead for days and you’d never know”, which is the usual comment I get for such trangressions.

One thing my mom has helped me to learn is patience. I don’t always succeed but I’m getting a lot of practice.😉
 
Please don’t ask my kids what I am like. I might not like what they say. 🤷

Kathy
 
Katie1723 said:
Please don’t ask my kids what I am like. I might not like what they say. 🤷

Kathy
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well if you were to ask mine what she had to say about her ma, well, she’d likely tell you iam a worry wart, that i say i love you to much, and that i get cranky to much (true because the aches and pains of daily life for me are horrendous) so yup, she’d tell you iam often cranky, tired, and worry alot. she would be right too. have i mellowed in my mid life? no. not by a long shot. it took my dad decades to mellow and mom too. so likely, i’ll follow suit.
 
CarrieH said:
One thing which has been kinda hard has been the role-reversal which inevitably takes place as our parents grow old. Mom and Dad were the center of the family, the strong ones. Now I’m the strong one, taking them to doctors’ appointments, making sure things are taken care of, planning the holidays, etc. It’s a natural part of the life cycle, but that doesn’t make it easy, knowing that your parents are aging, becoming frail, and that your remaining time with them on this earth can be measured in months rather than decades.
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Yes, I know exactly what you mean!! My parents had a wonderful, loving marriage for sixty years. After my mother’s death, Daddy coped fine for a few years, but as he got into his late 80s, age started catching up with him, and the last year of his life (he died at 91) he was bedridden at my house. Now I see the same cycle starting with me and my kids–I can’t drive any more, so my independence is gone, and the way my health has been I know they are wondering how much longer I’ll be around. I feel badly for them, because I know how hard it is…
 
TraditionalCath said:
actually, no i wasn’t kidding. and yes, i read the thread. sorry to hear of your sons broken wrist and concussion, i pray he heals well. God bless you all.
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Thanks… My kids are big jokesters… They are all very much like me. We love a good laugh. Son is healing fine BTW… but the “allergic reaction” on dd’s face comes back every time she works…hehehehehe!!!

The only thing missing from my family is a great set of grandparents and a few more aunts and uncles… I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters but 1 brother and 1 sister are just like my mom so we no longer communicate since I have decided not to be their scapegoat anymore. The sad thing is that after I dropped out, they turned on my 1 sister and she had to dissociate as well…now we fear for the youngest brother, since it seems they need someone to hate. Overall, as sad as it has been… we are much better off this way. I just feel guilty that my kids don’t have the benefit of grandparents in their lives.
 
I had many, many issues with my parents–mainly due to their alcoholism. When I started a family of my own, I don’t know why I expected them to morph into “Grandma & Grandpa” mode and be different people. Sadly, they didn’t take to it very well. I don’t think they really knew how to let my kids get close to them–they were always too busy to interact with them very much, although they dutifully provided gifts at birthdays and Christmas. As my kids got older, they seemed to feel a little more comfortable and would occasionally initiate contact with them. My dad, in particular, finally started reaching out to my son and including him in some “fix-it” projects around the house. He even let my son (then 10) drive his pick-up out on the country roads near here!:eek:

When my kids were 13 & 15, we added a new baby to the mix. Although my parents both referred to our angel boy, Gabriel, as an “oooops” baby :mad: , they did so many things differently than with the older two. For example, my mom used to always call up and say “What would _____ like for her birthday?” I’d provide a list and she would buy from that list without any deviation. With the baby, she seemed to go out of her way to find the perfect toy/gift without consulting me at all. And you know what? She did GREAT!

When Gabe was 5 months old, in July 2005, my dad suffered a stroke. He is now confined to a wheelchair and lives in the Veteran’s Home 70 miles away. He is 77. My mom died from throat cancer this past June at age 66.

It has been difficult to navigate these past couple of years. I don’t know how I would have made it without the precious gift of our little son. God sent me an angel, of that I’m sure!

I’ve realized that many of my mom’s faults remained with her to the end. Somehow, through all of that, God gave me the grace to realize that none of us love perfectly and while my mom made mistakes, she DID love me the only way she knew how. I got to know a side of my mom that was hiden after her death, as many people shared stories of her in their sympathy cards. My much older cousin told about the first time she saw my mom (who was only 9 years older than my cousin). She wrote, “She was walking down the hall with her poodle skirt and ponytail swinging. I thought to myself wow! a teenager.” 🙂

My dad, always strong and independent, is a broken man. It tears me up to see him this way, but again, I cannot question God’s plan. Dad now takes a lot of joy in the little things that would have gone right by him before. He’s commented that he “has a lot of time to think about things”…time he would never have taken when his health was good. Now it’s up to us to give him lots of great things to think about!

Kathy
 
My parents, and my husband’s mother, are constant in their inconsistencies, and secure in their idiocsyncrasies.

My husband’s father is dead, but he was not a whole lot different from when he was younger. He liked the ladies, he liked selling things (toward the end, real estate), and he liked things formal and private.
 
Well… My 77 year old mom just told me tonight she is “seeing” someone from her senior center. My father passed away 14 years ago. This is quite a shock to me, after all she really didn’t socialize much in my childhood and now she has friends at the senior center and a boyfriend?!
This is all too much for me to deal with. I have two teenage daughters who can’t keep up with granny these days when it comes to having a good time.
I don’t mean to sound bitter or resentful, but like I said this is all too much for me.
 
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