Great tips from RosyAnne.
I would say is that you need to look for information that will make you understand how we love others like yourself, and then see things that state what is love, so that we can act love with others, but loving like He does (following scripture).
A good start is the book “Love and Responsibility” by Karol Wojtyla and maybe then “Theology of the Body” by John Paul II. Love is not about our “instincts”, in the means you get lost in them, you need to tell yourself, you are being enslaved by them.
The first thing I would think is necessary, is prayer, then the sacraments, confession and the Eucharist as often as you can or need them.
Analyze this scripture , and pray to the Virgin Mary, meaning love the Virgin Mary.
“25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her26 to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, 27 that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. 33 In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.” Ephesians 5, 25-33
Our “psychological profile” needs to be subordinated to the objective profile of love, the affirmation of the value of the person.
This is what a Spanish father wrote:
{“
If when loving a person is impossible to leave aside the physical giving, there are enough motives to ask if the predominance belongs to affection or to sex.
The one that is not able to love in continence, there is no reason to believe he can love in matrimony.
You don’t impose love. You give and you gain it cultivating it every day.
“John Paul II said: “Love according to Christ is a difficult and demanding path. To be what God wants, demands an effort that is patient, a struggle with ourselves. You want to shut oneself up in the circle of your instincts? In man, unlike animals, instinct doesn’t have the right to have the last word.
”} To Save Yourself by Fr. Jorge Loring
In the means you follow pleasures as north, you will be a slave of them. This goes with what the scripture states, your heart will be where your treasures are. What does it matter if you win the world but you loose your soul. The way to get to Him is by self denial and the carrying of the cross there is no other way for love (Gods love that is).
“19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be. 22 "The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light; 23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be. 24 "No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. “ Matthew 6, 21-24 (Mammon is an Aramaic word meaning wealth or property. [22-23] In this context the parable probably points to the need for the disciple to be enlightened by Jesus’ teaching on the transitory nature of earthly riches.)
“38 and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10,38
“23 He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.” 24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life? 27 For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory, and then he will repay everyone according to his conduct. “ Matthew 16, 23-27
The ones who will be first will be the ones who serve, the ones that act like “slaves”. To be the slaves of God we need to negate to be slaves on anything else, a man can’t have two masters. Like scriptures states you are either a slave of sin or a slave of God. You either obey “yourself” or obey His way.
“Do you not know that if you present yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?” Romans 6, 16
“By obedience you give great glory to Me and gain merit for yourself.”
— Jesus to St. Faustina (Diary of St. Faustina, 28)
“13 No one experiencing temptation should say, “I am being tempted by God”; for God is not subject to temptation to evil, and he himself tempts no one.14 Rather, each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire conceives and brings forth sin, and when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death.” James 1, 13-15
We need to work firstly on our soul and spirit, strengthening them so that our “eyes” (our senses, our body) can always keep looking towards God as north. We need to learn and work to understand love, so that if Gods will is that we get married, you love your spouse the way He wants, not the way we want.
Love (Gods love) gives the responsibility to be sure, you surely are loving, for that’s the way we are going to be judged.
