What can I do with my parents?

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Teeliumtrozzle

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My father and mother are not married and do not even love each other. I think they dont even want me. My father never goes to mass,and yet utters filthy, common, disgusting blasphemy, which sometimes makes me cry.What right has he to blaspheme our Lord, who was so brutally crucified???Its NOT FAIR and theres nothing I can do.My mother is better but is still not a good parent at all. I can’t help disliking them.They simply expect me to- put up with them- just like that, and I just can’t do that.I have as little to do with them as possible and ignore they’re stupid rules, because they just don’t deserve to have me for a daughter, and I cant stand either of them.I thought adults were supposed to be goodand clever.How is it, then that I, who am not even fourteen years old, can know better then them?🤷
 
I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time right now and I pray things turn out better soon.

I’ll admit it - parents are sometimes not perfect. We make mistakes, sometimes big mistakes. But try to concentrate on the sin and not so much the sinner. I hope you love them, but don’t like the way they treat you or each other.

I suppose you could ask your Mom to go to mass with you. Or you could lead by example and go to mass with friends or other relatives if you can. Pray that they find guidance where needed. It’s a heavy cross to bear being so young. Try to find an adult or good friend who understands or a youth organization to help you sort out these issues. Be patient, be prayerful and hopefully things will get better soon. God Bless.
 
for the next few years you will need to throw all your burdens on the Mother Jesus gave us all. Think about a Consecration to Mary–look it up on Google, it will give you peace and strength. Your parents may not deserve a daughter as good as you, but you may also be the only hope your parents have! You may be the one who touches their hearts and they convert! This may be your Cross to bear, your Ministry! Pray pray pray! The rosary–everyday! Give it all to Mary and she will protect and guide you.
If it is still unbearable when you get a little older you may have to spearate yourself from them, but where would you go? A convent maybe? I know what it is like to grow up with bad parents. I am 45 years old now and it still hurts me. My father has been estranged for more than 20 years, and my mother I see maybe once a year. She is old now, 79 years old and sickly. And I know there is not much time left for her to change her heart. I pray for it everyday. Perhaps I could have done more for them when I was younger, I don’t know. But I have hope as long as she is still living.
Be active as you can be in your parish, volunteer to help the elderly and find an older woman who can mother you. Help the children and learn how to be a good mother yourself. (It does not come automatically!)
God Bless.
Ravyn
 
May I recommend completing a 30 consecutive day novena of Holy Communions for each parent? It takes some real discipline, but is highly effective.

Jesus promised, in a private revelation, the following:

Likewise, each individual who will receive Holy Communion worthily for 30 consecutive days, and will recite one Our Father and Hail Mary for the welfare of the Holy Catholic Church, will receive for himself and one other soul selected by him, the assurance of eternal salvation.

You can find additional information at this link:

www.catholictradition.org/Christ/divine-promises.htm

The great thing about doing this is you not only secure your own salvation through the mercy of Jesus, but each time you complete a 30 day Communion cycle, you secure the graces for the salvation of someone else.

I will be praying for you - may the grace of God be your comfort.
 
Thanks so much to everyone who replied!:o Im going to do that 30 day Communion Novena and say the Rosary more!
 
Teeliumtrozzle said:
Thanks so much to everyone who replied!:o Im going to do that 30 day Communion Novena and say the Rosary more!
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I am curious as to how you came to be such a devout Catholic with your parents giving such poor example. 🙂

Pray for them, for whatever reasons God chose these parents for you, use your sufferings to grow in holinesss and humilty.
 
Teeliumtrozzle said:
Its NOT FAIR and theres nothing I can do.
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Where on earth did you get the idea that anything in this life should be fair??? Being an adolescent is difficult. Being an adult is more difficult. Your parents are who they are and you are not going to change them so don’t worry about it. Get on with your own life being as obedient to them as you can. You don’t have to agree with their rules, but they are your parents. When you are an adult is time enough to set aside their regulation of your life.

Matthew
 
Teeliumtrozzle said:
My father and mother are not married and do not even love each other. I think they dont even want me.
. . . .I thought adults were supposed to be goodand clever.How is it, then that I, who am not even fourteen years old, can know better then them?🤷
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you cannot change your parents, you can only change yourself. while you are living under their roof, obey them in anything that is sinful, and work on your own spiritual growth and moral behavior, since you are doing so without the parental support you have a right to expect. try to understand their point of view even when their actions are hurtful and offensive. in most cases, their motives are good, and they do love you and wan you in their own way, but cannot express it properly–probably because no one ever taught them how or modelled good parenting.

if you are in a real abusive, threatening situation, tell some trusted adult such as another relative, teacher or counsellor and get help. Your parents are shaped by their experiences, but ultimately responsible for their own behavior and its consequences. So are you, so try not to use bad parental example as an excuse to go of the rails yourself. Look for other adults who live the way you admire, and model them, and find mentors there in spiritual growth and moral life. Pray the rosary every day, go to Mass on Sunday whenever it is possible, even if you have to make sacrifices to do so, and receive the sacraments as often as possible. a good book on dealing with family is Search and REscue by Patrick Madrid.
 
Teeliumtrozzle said:
My father and mother are not married and do not even love each other. You cannot judge this. I think they dont even want me. You dont know this either. My father never goes to mass,and yet utters filthy, common, disgusting blasphemy, which sometimes makes me cry.What right has he to blaspheme our Lord, who was so brutally crucified???Its NOT FAIR and theres nothing I can do. LIfe is not fair. My mother is better but is still not a good parent at all. I’m sure she is doing her best. You little people do not come with instructions! I can’t help disliking them. I’m sorry about that. Try harder. They simply expect me to- put up with them- just like that, and I just can’t do that.I have as little to do with them as possible and ignore they’re stupid rules, Do NOT ignore parent’s rules. because they just don’t deserve to have me for a daughter, and I cant stand either of them. It is not godly to be bitter and full of vengence. Your parents have obviously brought you up to be a believer, so they are trying. I thought adults were supposed to be goodand clever. Says WHO??? How is it, then that I, who am not even fourteen years old, can know better then them? You, at 14, do NOT know better. You are being brought up BY YOUR PARENTS to be faithful daughter, whether you recognize that or not. So they ARE doing something right. Stop being a bitter daughter and try some love. A bitter vengeful daughter is not godly or reverent. Obey your parents. Respect your parents (even if it is hard). Mature and grow up and see what they are doing. No, they are not perfect, but I can guarantee you they DO LOVE YOU. Stop fighting them. What would Jesus do? Hate his parents? No!!!🤷
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Teeliumtrozzle said:
My father and mother are not married and do not even love each other. I think they dont even want me. My father never goes to mass,and yet utters filthy, common, disgusting blasphemy, which sometimes makes me cry.What right has he to blaspheme our Lord, who was so brutally crucified???Its NOT FAIR and theres nothing I can do.My mother is better but is still not a good parent at all. I can’t help disliking them.They simply expect me to- put up with them- just like that, and I just can’t do that.I have as little to do with them as possible and ignore they’re stupid rules, because they just don’t deserve to have me for a daughter, and I cant stand either of them.I thought adults were supposed to be goodand clever.How is it, then that I, who am not even fourteen years old, can know better then them?🤷
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Families are a mixed bag - unfortunately we can’t send our parents back to the shop when they ain’t working properly :nope:

Pray - especially to St Dymphna who lost her mother at a young age and had all sorts of problems with her father afterwards.
 
rayne89 said:
I am curious as to how you came to be such a devout Catholic with your parents giving such poor example. 🙂
rayne89;2378017:
I used to be a terrible Catholic.Then one day I realized how unfair and hypocritical sin is(especially since Jesus was Crucified) and how good Catholichism is, and so I decided to follow Jesus properly.:bible1:
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Catholic90 said:
My father and mother are not married and do not even love each other. You cannot judge this. I think they dont even want me. You dont know this either. My father never goes to mass,and yet utters filthy, common, disgusting blasphemy, which sometimes makes me cry.What right has he to blaspheme our Lord, who was so brutally crucified???Its NOT FAIR and theres nothing I can do. LIfe is not fair. My mother is better but is still not a good parent at all. I’m sure she is doing her best. You little people do not come with instructions! I can’t help disliking them. I’m sorry about that. Try harder. They simply expect me to- put up with them- just like that, and I just can’t do that.I have as little to do with them as possible and ignore they’re stupid rules, Do NOT ignore parent’s rules. because they just don’t deserve to have me for a daughter, and I cant stand either of them. It is not godly to be bitter and full of vengence. Your parents have obviously brought you up to be a believer, so they are trying. I thought adults were supposed to be goodand clever. Says WHO??? How is it, then that I, who am not even fourteen years old, can know better then them? You, at 14, do NOT know better. You are being brought up BY YOUR PARENTS to be faithful daughter, whether you recognize that or not. So they ARE doing something right. Stop being a bitter daughter and try some love. A bitter vengeful daughter is not godly or reverent. Obey your parents. Respect your parents (even if it is hard). Mature and grow up and see what they are doing. No, they are not perfect, but I can guarantee you they DO LOVE YOU. Stop fighting them. What would Jesus do? Hate his parents? No!!!
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I suppose your right Catholic90:bible1:
 
LilyM said:
Pray - especially to St Dymphna who lost her mother at a young age and had all sorts of problems with her father afterwards.
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I think I read something about St. Dymphna…is it true her father beheaded her?
:eek:
 
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