What can I do?

[RileyG]

Hello!!!
My brother is an active homosexual. I cannot and will not approve of his lifestyle that he chose. He wants me to be “ok with it”. I cannot because I will lose my own salvation…

He always talks about gay pride events that he attends, and about his sex life (very explicit for that matter… )

He thinks "God knew he was going to me gay, and he was “born” gay, God made him gay " etc

He has had health scares with HIV and so forth and I pray that he will eventually accept his cross and give up the gay lifestyle. I feel so helpless. My mother isn’t much help, she won’t intervene because she says “it’s not my life”. I fear exceeding so.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

Hello!!!
My brother is an active homosexual. I cannot and will not approve of his lifestyle that he chose. He wants me to be “ok with it”. I cannot because I will lose my own salvation…

He always talks about gay pride events that he attends, and about his sex life (very explicit for that matter… )

He thinks "God knew he was going to me gay, and he was “born” gay, God made him gay " etc

He has had health scares with HIV and so forth and I pray that he will eventually accept his cross and give up the gay lifestyle. I feel so helpless. My mother isn’t much help, she won’t intervene because she says “it’s not my life”. I fear exceeding so.

Ignore him as much as you can, don’t pal around with him. If you are living on your own, there is no reason you have to associate with him. Tell him you don’t want to talk about that stuff and if won’t behave, cut him off.

Linus2nd

 

[pianistclare]

Don’t cut him off. He is your brother.
Continue to love him and pray that one day, he will inquire about what the Church teaches on the subject.
He’s seeking something that unfortunately will elude him.
His SSA is something difficult to understand and live with. He needs your prayers more than ever. Ask the Holy Spirit to open his eyes to the evils of promiscuity.
You don’t have to condone his behavior, but you cannot abandon him.
One day, he may need you more than ever.

 

[sscott]

He didn’t choose to be gay, he was born that way. Many people who have what the church calls same sex attraction say they knew when they were children that is how they felt. When you were young you had opposite sex attraction. You are obviously angry that he chooses to live a gay lifestyle. From his point of view it’s no different from your living the heterosexual lifestyle. Aside from the fact the church condemns this at this time, he is your brother. Didn’t you love him the second before he told you he is gay? He hasn’t changed, only your perception has. If you can’t love him for who he is then don’t associate with him. I think it is fair to tell him not to discuss his sex life. I tell that to people all the time, whether they are straight, gay or anything else. That should be private. You can pray for him but I wouldn’t hold my breath for a change.

 

[RileyG]

He didn’t choose to be gay, he was born that way. Many people who have what the church calls same sex attraction say they knew when they were children that is how they felt. When you were young you had opposite sex attraction. You are obviously angry that he chooses to live a gay lifestyle. From his point of view it’s no different from your living the heterosexual lifestyle. Aside from the fact the church condemns this at this time, he is your brother. Didn’t you love him the second before he told you he is gay? He hasn’t changed, only your perception has. If you can’t love him for who he is then don’t associate with him. I think it is fair to tell him not to discuss his sex life. I tell that to people all the time, whether they are straight, gay or anything else. That should be private. You can pray for him but I wouldn’t hold my breath for a change.

It’s not right to say anyone is “born gay”. IMHO.* It’s just a cross one must bear.* Also, keep in mind, that yes, indeed he has changed ever since living the lifestyle, it’s like his whole personality has changed and it fears me so much. I’ve seen what it has done to him…

Yes, I will continue to love him nonetheless, but I cannot, and will not condone such behavior.

 

[RileyG]

Don’t cut him off. He is your brother.
Continue to love him and pray that one day, he will inquire about what the Church teaches on the subject.
He’s seeking something that unfortunately will elude him.
His SSA is something difficult to understand and live with. He needs your prayers more than ever. Ask the Holy Spirit to open his eyes to the evils of promiscuity.
You don’t have to condone his behavior, but you cannot abandon him.
One day, he may need you more than ever.

Agreed…I live with him btw, but not for long…

 

[atheistgirl]

Yes, I will continue to love him nonetheless, but I cannot, and will not condone such behavior.

You’re not required to condone such behavior, in fact the Catechism says as much, but it also goes on to say:

They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.

I’m not sure how cutting your brother off is accepting him with respect, compassion and sensitivity?

Sarah x

 

[Catholic1954]

Hello!!!
My brother is an active homosexual. I cannot and will not approve of his lifestyle that he chose. He wants me to be “ok with it”. I cannot because I will lose my own salvation…

He always talks about gay pride events that he attends, and about his sex life (very explicit for that matter… )

He thinks "God knew he was going to me gay, and he was “born” gay, God made him gay " etc

He has had health scares with HIV and so forth and I pray that he will eventually accept his cross and give up the gay lifestyle. I feel so helpless. My mother isn’t much help, she won’t intervene because she says “it’s not my life”. I fear exceeding so.

Your mom is right, it is your brother’s life to live, good or bad. Love the sinner (he is your brother!), hate the sin and pray, pray, pray.

 

[RileyG]

You’re not required to condone such behavior, in fact the Catechism says as much, but it also goes on to say:

I’m not sure how cutting your brother off is accepting him with respect, compassion and sensitivity?

Sarah x

Hello Sarah,
I NEVER said I was going to cut him off, just to clarify.

 

[atheistgirl]

Hello Sarah,
I NEVER said I was going to cut him off, just to clarify.

I should have been more clear. That was to those who were advising you to ignore your own brother as much as possible and not associate with him.

I’m pleased to hear you continue to love your brother and will not be cutting him out of your life.

Sarah x

 

[mikekle]

It sounds like he is trying to be rebellious, Ive never heard of anyone discussing their sex life with their brother or sister (whether homosexual or hetero)…that is just weird IMO, I would never talk to my brother about my sex life, and he doesnt talk to me about his…It sounds like your brother is crying out, either for help, or trying to rub it in your face.

I would tell him from now on, you dont want to hear ANYTHING about his sex life, his ‘preferences’, etc. Whenever I talk to my brother, we dont discuss personal things anyway, usually just small talk about work, family, etc. I would politely tell your brother you dont want to hear anything about his personal life, and if he continues to talk to you about it, Id definitely say, something is wrong, and he is trying to talk to anyone he can about his problems. Id point him in the direction of the nearest church and leave it at that.

 

[RileyG]

It sounds like he is trying to be rebellious, Ive never heard of anyone discussing their sex life with their brother or sister (whether homosexual or hetero)…that is just weird IMO, I would never talk to my brother about my sex life, and he doesnt talk to me about his…It sounds like your brother is crying out, either for help, or trying to rub it in your face.

I would tell him from now on, you dont want to hear ANYTHING about his sex life, his ‘preferences’, etc. Whenever I talk to my brother, we dont discuss personal things anyway, usually just small talk about work, family, etc. I would politely tell your brother you dont want to hear anything about his personal life, and if he continues to talk to you about it, Id definitely say, something is wrong, and he is trying to talk to anyone he can about his problems. Id point him in the direction of the nearest church and leave it at that.

Thank You. There are other problems as well, but I’m not going to go into that. Alcohol plays a factor, other times he’s completely sober…sigh.

 

[RileyG]

I should have been more clear. That was to those who were advising you to ignore your own brother as much as possible and not associate with him.

I’m pleased to hear you continue to love your brother and will not be cutting him out of your life.

Sarah x

Thank You Sarah. Cutting someone off is not the answer.

 

[janiruchan]

May God have mercy on him. Continue to pray for him. He is your cross. Ora et Labora.
I remember St. John Vianney fasted and prayed unceasingly to convert Ars and St. Monica labored for 20 years for the conversion of St. Augustine. May God have mercy on your brother. Do not lose hope. Keep praying and loving him