What can you say to a family member who says they are Spiritual, but not religious?

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synjay23

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My brother and I got into a discussion about Catholicism - why our family practices the faith, and why we want to engage others to become Catholic. He grew up as a Catholic, but has since fallen away from the faith (possibly because his wife grew up in another Christian denomination). He and his wife have claimed to be spiritual, and not religious. He had other arguments to say why he has accepted not being a Catholic with the ones outlined below:
  • We all have our ways of being spiritual, and it doesn’t have to be Catholicism or relied upon a religion.
  • We aren’t going to hell just because we don’t follow the Catholic faith.
  • It’s hypocritical to tell people their sins are not forgiven or they are less likely to go to Heaven because they are not Catholic – How can God not love or forgive someone who tries to be good who isn’t Catholic or practicing a specific religion?
  • We’re private about our faith, and I don’t feel like there’s anything wrong with that - we don’t have to tell others about it. Just because you believe it’s the Truth, doesn’t mean it’s Truth, and therefore, who are you (I think he meant all Catholic’s here) to tell us what’s wrong and what’s right?
  • We believe we’re going to Heaven because we’re good people (I believe they are in my personal opinion).
  • It comes off as disrespectful when you (my family members and I) talk about the Catholic faith to us (he and his wife), and are not welcoming in conveying your message of the reasons for being Catholic. You’re putting too much faith in a dogmatic religion rather than God and Faith.
While I didn’t say anything at the time, my family members didn’t like the idea of him not getting married in a Church, not practicing the faith more by going to mass, receiving the blessed sacrament, confession, etc.
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So, this Christmas I tried to convey my message to help him better understand why those things were important in order to show how much we love God. We’re fairly close, but it seems that he’s simply accepted that it’s great my family and I want to do these things, but he prefer’s his own ways of thinking.

I did buy him a “Why Were Catholic” book by Trent Horn because I think that would help his understanding a lot better than what my family members and I could say or do, but in the case he doesn’t read it, what else could I say at this point?

Thanks, and God Bless!
 
While I can’t say for sure what else they do in their lives when it comes to anything related to God because I’m not around them enough, but they say they pray to God when needed, and confess to God his / her sins through prayer alone – I guess that’s their meaning of being spiritual.
 
synjay23 said:
While I can’t say for sure what else they do in their lives when it comes to anything related to God because I’m not around them enough, but they say they pray to God when needed, and confess to God his / her sins through prayer alone – I guess that’s their meaning of being spiritual.
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So spiritual does not include obedience, such as Jesus Christ and his mother observed, to the commandments? Also the new commandment Mark 12:30-31. When we love one another we do not scandalize others.
 
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This is textbook modern relativism.

Sadly, it seems that your brother has not had the example of disciples in his life and was never invited to become a disciple.

Did he and his wife marry in the Church or with dispensation to marry outside the Church?
 
I feel that religious/spritual beliefs are personal so I refrain from imposing my beliefs on others.
 
synjay23 said:
but in the case he doesn’t read it, what else could I say at this point?
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Something like, “How are you doing? Nice to see you!”

Because it isn’t like you are going to argue him back into Catholicism…
 
That might be true when you say he didn’t really have a disciple in his life to help him, but I would say neither did I, and somehow I found my way.

I don’t believe they got a disposition from the church for marriage.
 
I don’t think it’s matter of imposing because I’m not one to force beliefs on others, but rather have a discussion on why I believe what I believe, in hopes they would realize the importance. Maybe it does come off that way of imposing beliefs, but I think that’s a definitely a distinction I should make when evangelizing in the future.
 
I believe they do, but just in a different way - through Prayer. So let’s say they lied, they would probably realize it, and confess to God through prayer in hopes of being forgiven and change their ways. I think they’re obedient to Jesus through prayer and potentially their lives (like I said, I don’t know what they do in their lives to show how much they love God).

Now when you scandalize others you love, what are you referring to in that sense? What examples can you give?
 
You mean like Oprah? She has her own belief system with God that is not tied to any
organized religion, but I am sure she considers herself spiritual.
 
My suspicion then, the grace of his baptism is gnawing at his conscience. It is much easier to talk about no objective sin and not calling people sinners than admitting “I am living in a state of sin”.

Love him, pray for him, be so filled with joy that he wants what you have.
 
synjay23 said:
I believe they do, but just in a different way - through Prayer. So let’s say they lied, they would probably realize it, and confess to God through prayer in hopes of being forgiven and change their ways. I think they’re obedient to Jesus through prayer and potentially their lives (like I said, I don’t know what they do in their lives to show how much they love God).

Now when you scandalize others you love, what are you referring to in that sense? What examples can you give?
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However Jesus Christ was obedient in more than just praying privately, and taught that all should be like him. There is also corporate prayer (e.g., every Sunday and holy day) and acts of charity, supporting the Church, etc…

To give scandal means to set a bad example.
 
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