"What Catholics should know about divorce: does it define you?" A Catholic article

[mdgspencer]

http://www.heraldmalaysia.com/news/...now-about-divorce-does-it-define-you/42299/14

“The label “divorced” does not define a person. It’s an event that happened — terrible as it is — but it in no way is the sum total of who a person is. You may feel like you’re walking around with a big “scarlet ‘D’” on your forehead for all to judge you by, but what you need to focus on is how God sees you. He sees you as his beloved”…

This article does some other things, offering more advice and explaining the difference between divorce and an annulment.

This article, which first appeared in American magazine, has been widely republished.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Good article and I agree with it.

JIm

 

[Mtdobbs]

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[stpurl]

I have often thought that there should be a new term that can applied regarding definition of one’s ‘marital status’.

Currently we have Single, Never Married, Married, Separated, Divorced, and Widowed.

Single, that’s self explanatory. Never married, again, reasonable. Married, ditto. Separated, ok. Widowed. . fine.

But 'divorced"? Think about it.

You’re single. You get married. You stay married, and your spouse dies, you’re widowed.

You’re single. You get married. You get divorced.
You can’t be ‘single’ again. You get to stay’ divorced even after your spouse dies.

I say there should be a word for a person who WAS divorced and whose former spouse has died.

I mean, if there are three parties, say Joe and Amy, and Joe and Amy divorce and Joe marries Candy, then it’s fine for Joe and Candy to be “the married” and Amy to be ‘divorced’ (from Joe). But when Joe dies, Candy is ‘the widow’ and Amy is still ‘the divorced.’

Hey, guys, the marriage is over now for BOTH women (one through divorce, one through death).

It’s time to let the divorced partner be acknowledged with a new status. It’s ridiculous to be defined by the termination of a marriage no longer to a living person, for the rest of one’s OWN life.

I say the surviving spouse should be a surdif (survivor divorced wife) or a surdus (survivor divorced husband). Two nice, simple terms.

Anybody with me?

 

[PetraG]

Maybe for adults it ought to just be “married” or “unmarried.” Anyone who needs to know more about your marital history or freedom to marry can just get to know you better. It won’t kill them.

 

[stpurl]

It would be easier but unfortunately a lot of institutions demand that kind of status ‘choice’ above. (I’ve even seen slots with “Civil Union” as a choice, but that of course was in Vermont!)

 

[7_Sorrows]

i like that idea. i am divorced and am confused if i should check divorced or single, because i am both!

 

[PetraG]

It would be easier but unfortunately a lot of institutions demand that kind of status ‘choice’ above. (I’ve even seen slots with “Civil Union” as a choice, but that of course was in Vermont!)

Which institutions get to ask? Honestly, whose business is it? Maybe the census, and they probably don’t want to fool with sorting out which of the divorced people even know if their former spouse is alive or dead.