What changed your heart?

[nfpworks]

But God had better things in mind. He allowed my fertility to be totally whacky. :whacky: My mom bought me the book, Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition, by Marilyn Shannon. As soon as I found out it was “Catholic” it went to my book shelf and stayed there for about 3 years. I tried to heal my health problems and my spiritual problems in the secular world. I stayed nominally Catholic but kept trying to earn my way out of the Faith. But instead I earned my way back in.

I’m trying to keep this short here so I will cut to the chase. Shannon’s book had a pretty big impact. But I have to say that it was Theology of the Body that brought me back. Not anyone’s particular interpretation of it, but TOB straight up. (I took a class in college from a priest who had heard one of the talks live and was telling about it. I didn’t realize till years later that it was TOB. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Fr. Simeon!!! God rest his precious soul!)

The “nuptial body” was all I wanted to understand…just that, nothing else. I wanted to know who I was in relation to God and what it meant. I had struggled with my health, I had gotten a lot of the wrong kind of attention for the “wrappings” of my body, and I really didn’t understand or appreciate what it meant to be a woman, and specifically what it meant to be this particular woman. I didn’t understand men either.

My female health troubles led me to a deeper understanding of the inner workings of myself. They led me to an appreciation for our amazing and beautiful bodies. TOB brought me over the very large wall I had built for myself. I found out that “one flesh” really means one flesh! He really is the Bridegroom and we really are the bride!!

Amazing. Wonderful!!

I have Marilyn Shannon’s book as well.

I’m thinking that it might not be a bad idea to take all of these books to display there. And, TOB as well.

Hmmm. . .

 

[nfpworks]

Hi NFPWORKS,
After all this geat info I’m reading from everyone here, let us know how your pre-cana talks go, OK?

This is awesome information. I agree.

My husband and I are involved in a couple of programs. And, in all, we probably end up speaking to about 600+ couples in a year.

We don’t always give an NFP witness talk. We give other talks as well. All of this great information can be integrated into ANY talk, really. With a captive audience, we need to find a way to grab the attention of the couples. . . without sounding preachy, judgmental, etc.

But, I know so many people who have changed their hearts. And, I’m always asking. . How? Why? When?

I will let you know some changes we make. . .and what works!

 

[aloejamb]

This is awesome information. I agree.

But, I know so many people who have changed their hearts. And, I’m always asking. . How? Why? When?

These are such good questions. In my journey I kept asking how and why is it that so many Catholics do not know their faith (such as myself). The response I kept getting from cradle catholics in our family and those in our previous parish was that “I knew more than most so don’t worry about it.”

I think when I finally got to the point where I was not going to take “don’t worry about it” for an answer is when I stopped relying on those who I thought were steeped in their faith (note: that I mean no disrespect to these people.) and started reading things like the Catechism, the early Church Fathers etc.
In my case, my faith was challenged by a bible christian family member. I couldn’t defend myself and when I did, it didn’t sound right. Even though I was questioning my faith(starting around the time my son’s catechism classes), I don’t know that I would have investigated my faith to the point that I did without that challenge.
I would like to think that if we had a couple who practiced their faith that we were close to that our perspective would have been different. Who’s to know?
So I want to thank you for doing all of the talks that you give. I would have been thankful to have that sort of experience. If you don’t mind my asking…how did you get involved with doing pre-cana classes?

 

[nfpworks]

If you don’t mind my asking…how did you get involved with doing pre-cana classes?

Honestly. . It’s so amazing how God guides our path.

I taught in a Catholic school before we had kids and I taught CCD . . well. . forever. My husband was very involved in the youth ministry. He was looking for a job at different parishes to be a youth minister (in addition to his “day job”)

So, when we were married, we were looking for a ministry that we could do together. High school / middle school ages weren’t for me. And, he couldn’t teach little ones. So, we saw an article in the local Catholic newspaper looking to train couples to teach NFP. So, we did it!

The ministry in Pre-Cana just naturally followed. While being a full time mom, we needed extra money to make ends meet. So, I took a job with a fund-raising company. Then, the woman who was working(part time) very closely in the Diocesan (Pre-Cana / NFP) program moved. And, I jumped at the opportunity. Surprisingly enough, the financial end was very comparable. I was so happy to get involved with this ministry, as it is so close to my heart.

As much as I would like to not “have to” work outside of our home, I find that working with so many wonderful priests, married couples and engaged couples has really enriched my own marriage. In order to prepare different talks, you really have to communicate and do some soul searching and PRAY.

 

[Lady_D_I]

Amazing. Wonderful!!

I have Marilyn Shannon’s book as well.

I’m thinking that it might not be a bad idea to take all of these books to display there. And, TOB as well.

Hmmm. . .

I think the display of the books is an awesome idea!!! You don’t know what will change a person’s heart.

Also, it is great you are using the prescribing info for the potential abortifacient info rather than a source that some may see as biased. I will be honest, if anyone referred me to ALL, OMSOUL, etc. I stopped listening. These sources had no credibility. Well, and I already knew how hormonal contraceptives worked. Please know these are great resources for many, many people and a great place to send people open to what they have to share.

 

[Lady_D_I]

This subject was my entire hurdle. Not just contraception, but everything about sexuality and the Church. (Except for some bizarre reason I always stayed pro-life even when I didn’t act like it.) I was pro-contraception, pro-women’s ordination, pro-same sex marriage, pro pre-marital sex, (you know you gotta test drive that car before you buy it ) etc., etc., etc… You name it. If it had anything to do with sex or the sexes and it was not in line with Church teaching…that was me.

Hmmmm… I have to admit this was me too. Well, contraception was nearer and dearer to my heart. I really believed I was helping people. I read posts and get the impression people think people working in family planning hate families. Not my expereince. People are misguided.

I don’t know how we got so far off. . .as a Church. Is it the world, our families, catechesis, or lack thereof?

nfpworks, my mother was anti-contraception. She taught me contraception was a mortal sin.

 

[ajcoley1]

My mother taught me anti-contraception also, but after seeing her become worn out from 11 kids, she didn’t teach any sort of family planning either. No WAY was I going to end up like that! I was supposed to automatically know what my body was doing. She would actually say, You know why this is happening, don’t you? And no explanation. I don’t know who she expected to teach me these things-my sisters never did. (I’m 9th of 11.You’d think I’d get some info with mostly girls.) And the kids I went thru CCD with were an exceptionally rowdy bunch; we were sort of shifted on thru.I suppose if I’d married in the church, maybe I would’ve been taught?

 

[Lady_D_I]

My mother taught me anti-contraception also, but after seeing her become worn out from 11 kids, she didn’t teach any sort of family planning either. No WAY was I going to end up like that! I was supposed to automatically know what my body was doing. She would actually say, You know why this is happening, don’t you? And no explanation. I don’t know who she expected to teach me these things-my sisters never did. (I’m 9th of 11.You’d think I’d get some info with mostly girls.) And the kids I went thru CCD with were an exceptionally rowdy bunch; we were sort of shifted on thru.I suppose if I’d married in the church, maybe I would’ve been taught?

It is a great question how we get lost? So many stories… each different from the other. I really don’t know what would have made the difference for me. My parents did so many things right. They even taught me how my body works and why. DH and I were married in the Church. I knew how the pill works. I guess I was just rebellious, which is a funny thing since I am such a rule follower.

 

[nfpworks]

nfpworks, my mother was anti-contraception. She taught me contraception was a mortal sin.

My mom taught me that contraception was wrong, too. She used the rhythm method, but it worked for her. (I’m one of 6 and we are all very spaced apart.)

But. . .although my mom taught me that ABC was wrong and she used the rhythm method, she did not have something to offer me. I went on my own to seek that information. . .

 

[nfpworks]

My parents did so many things right. They even taught me how my body works and why. DH and I were married in the Church. I knew how the pill works. I guess I was just rebellious, which is a funny thing since I am such a rule follower.

Yes, but look at you now. You had to find your way and make it your own. It’s one thing for our parents to do a “great job.” But, it’s another for us to become convicted. Does that make sense?

I remember my husband asking me when I had decided to be a Catholic. I thought that was a crazy question for a cradle catholic who never really strayed from the church. But, he wanted me to p(name removed by moderator)oint when I made the decision to live my life according to the Catholic Church.

It was great. I did so much thinking, reflecting, praying. . .

 

[nfpworks]

I suppose if I’d married in the church, maybe I would’ve been taught?

Unfortunately, not necessarily.

I would think many couples that we see have similar situations or opinions like you did when you were preparing for your marriage. But, they are so busy, overwhelmed, etc., that they just can’t take the time to learn about NFP. . .something that is so “out of the box” and time consuming.

That’s why I’m looking for something to grab their attention.

I have read some fabulous suggestions here.

Thanks so much.

Keep them coming!!!

 

[EvelynEVF]

I started using FAM (as opposed to actual NFP) when I realized how awful the pill was, and that I had other options.

I became convinced of the deep truth of it all, including TOB and HV, when I realized how abusive my marriage was, and how much it was hurting me to submit to demands of sex, contracepted sex.

There is a section of HV that talks about how w/contraception it is possible for a husband to overlook his wife’s nature and turn her into an object of pleasure. BTDT, and I describe it as causing me to unravel around the edges.

Not that pre-Cana couples want to hear any of that, because they all mean well, and they marry for love. But I am sure that in days past, it protected a lot of women who were in arranged or political marriages, who were not expected to be in love.

It also protects those of us married to men who turn out to be mentally ill and/or abusive. I felt such a flood of love for God when I learned all this and realized that it was not His will for me to submit to this kind of abuse, and that He had made rules to protect me long, long ago.