When I first came to Catholicism, understand I came as an ex-fundamentalist. As such, there was an invisible moral leesh, so to speak, I felt I possessed for quite some time. There is no longer a “leesh,” as I no longer allow myself to conform to any moral standard because of societal or religious pressure (which, here in the Bible Belt, is great) but rather out of sincere love. It became meaningless for me, I think, to follow norms and standards promulgated by my Baptist faith solely to be “morally upright.” I couldn’t–and can’t–do it. I really have to be moved out of a sincere love of God.
During the first little bit of my transition from fundamentalism to Catholicism, I was still very much an ardent, puritanical Baptist at heart–without realizing it. I decided then to follow the holy Catholic Church’s teachings without reservation or question. Orthodoxy. Good ol’ orthodoxy. I was really alarmed by Catholics who admittedly struggled with certain Church teachings–however small their concerns might have been. “How can you call yourself a Catholic!” was my internal–never external–reaction.
Well, I get it now. I really do. I’m a 14-year-old living in a region wrought with extremes: all-out puritanism or outright atheism. The latter would be so much more appealing were it not for the sanity I find in Catholicism. I have the media, peer pressure, all that good stuff, to deal with. I also find myself experiencing SSA very strongly. Usually it provokes questions and legitimate concerns rather than all-out faith crises. Still, it’s made me re-examine Church teachings in a great many areas. I never ceased to be amazed by the Church’s rationale–and sympathy–but have become able to interrupt my own biases long enough to also think outside of the Church. I agree it’s her duty to teach on faith and morals and help our consciences become aligned with God’s will, but she cannot force us to accept a single dogma–as it should be.
I’m in love with my new faith but find myself less orthodox at times than I would have liked to imagine myself. I think this has been the experience of all sincere Catholics–I’ve noticed the most devout, incredible people I know in the Church are very open about such struggles.
And the whole thing got me thinking. I want to know: What Church teaching do you have the most trouble with? Why? How has it affected your life?
Please, really, no need to immaculatize your accounts. Just be honest and blunt about your doubts and fears. The makings of any great saint start with a virtue as simple as true vulnerability.
I don’t’ have a problem with much of what you spoke to; I just question this a little…
“I** no longer allow myself to conform to any moral standard …”**
If you have come to Jesus, through reason, to fully trust him, with unwavering belief, into an ever swelling faith , you must now learn how to love God. Walk in his ways, abide by “God’s” moral standards and believe that Jesus is his only begotten son, our Lord. I also say I love God, but I know that it is yet an imperfect love – since I am still learning how to each day improve on that. I am learning his ways, I try to follow them (many times I fall) but I am now committed to never give up again. I will carry my cross, run the race until I’ve passed-on or until Jesus returns - whichever comes first. I hope to one day be able to love God more perfectly, but I know I am far from that right now. But I will never stop walking on the path that I am set on, and which I see more clearly with each passing day.
As far as your immediate question; I don’t have a problem with any of our major Church teachings (catechism) the few that I do have I will sort out eventually; they don’t restrict me from feeling fully part of the Church; and certainly not apart from Jesus. No one is going to have it all neat & tidy like in their minds. (Except a few, Saints, etc that God permits to know more than us )
The principals need to be there though.
Accept Jesus’ sacrifice for us on the cross, that his atonement for our sins paves the way for our salvation. Confess your sin(s) be sincere and contrite when doing so, teach yourself to walk away from your sins (control the sin), ask for strength from the Holy Spirit. Accept only Jesus as Lord; get to know him and his ways like you know yourself, (all of which are the Fathers ways). Give glory and praise and worship and serve only God our father, also our Lord Jesus son who sits at his right hand, and keep asking for the holy spirit to guide you in this. Pray to the Saints & Angels for intercession, but do not worship angels or saints, only regard them as intimate followers of God and as exemplars for us. The Blessed Mother is revered and is our greatest intercessory (behold thy Mother), but not worshiped like some outside our faith have described. Everything else will come and is coming from the little that I can read into from your post. Oh……. and be humble in all that you do, all the days of your life.
Read your Bible, over and over. I find the more I read it …….the more revelations
God Bless you friend!