What comments have you gotten when your second child is born?

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Ryan1

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So no sooner was my second child born, when we started getting inundated with questions/ suggestions such as:

“Are you going to stop at two?”

“This is your second? Then you’re all set!”

or worse:

“I hope you are all done.”

How do you respond charitably to what, worded more bluntly, would be an encouragement to contracept? Such responses aren’t much different than saying “Are you going to contracept from here on out?” is it??
 
I typically just say something along the lines of “We’ll see what happens”.
 
Should we ignore the suggestion to sin by contracepting? Should we talk about about being open to life?
 
I honestly don’t think either thought is their business, so I wouldn’t get into it. It is your private life. You are not asking for their opinion, so you are allowed to not answer their questions.
 
Ryan1 said:
“Are you going to stop at two?”
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Maybe, “Why would you ask that?”
Ryan1 said:
“This is your second? Then you’re all set!”
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Maybe, “Why would you say that?”
Ryan1 said:
“I hope you are all done.”
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Probably nothing nice… I’d have to default to the “Why would you say that?” response.

Or, go with what @Irishmom2 said. I’m not one to like people prying into my personal life…
 
I’d smile and nod and keep on walking with “have a nice day”.

No need to stop in the middle of the mall or the grocery or wherever strangers offer unsolicited advice in order to get in a theological/philosophical discussion.

Your family and friends are happy for you (if they make such rude comments, it is time to re-evaluate those relationships).
 
My first was a son, second a daughter. Even strangers would say, “How wonderul! So you’re done” not ask, just say.

I usually just said “done is a very modern concept” and left them puzzling.

Now with four relatively little ones, strangers do it less. They fear meeting my gaze 😆. And relatives know better.

When people do the old “You know what causes that right?”

I say: “God is good and my husband is good looking.”

I’ve been trying to counter “you’ve got your hands full” with the most genuine smile and “better than empty”

And lastly, I’m grateful to explain I do not know if we are done. My friend just had her tubes tied sort of against her will during her last csection. It isn’t something she tells everyone so these kinds of “are you done?” questions I imagine are a fresh dagger wound to her heart.
 
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DisorientingSneeze said:
I’ve been trying to counter “you’ve got your hands full” with the most genuine smile and “better than empty”
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I would reconsider this response. Never know if someone struggling with infertility might be around.
 
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Thanks. You’re right. Its usually older people and about half the time they seem to be saying it in a less than kind way. But you’re absolutely right. They may have struggled all their life. It could even be why they approach me a stranger to sound less than thrilled rather than walking by.

It’s a good thing thats one I’ve been trying to respond with but rarely succeed. Usually I only manage a frazzled and unenthusiastic “Haha yeah”

I guess the desire to seem joyful and grateful in my response comes from how often I’m probably not looking joyful and probably not a good advertisement out in public for have a couple kids, its great.
 
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Sorry, hit kind of a sore spot. My brother is a family of 8, so getting my wife to go out in public with them takes a lot of coaxing. But I know where you’re coming from. I’ve heard people ask them the same silly questions. Like it’s any of their business. Be proud, show them babies off. Even on those days you think you look like your avatar picture😀
 
humbleseeker said:
Never know if someone struggling with infertility might be around.
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Yes. My wife and I tried to have children for years. We tried everything natural that did not require medical intervention such as in vivo fertilization. We would never dare go to more extreme measures. Alas, us having children apparently not in God’s plan for us. It was sad and took a long time to reconcile ourselves with this…

So, embrace what God provides you. It truly is a gift.
 
I had a son then a couple of years later a daughter ,and I do remember some people exclaiming "Oh! You have your ‘pigeon pair’ …as if I would stop at that for some unknown reason.We went on to have four in all.
 
Comedian Jim Gaffigan has five children. He still gets “aren’t you done.”

Sometimes people don’t notice what comes out of their mouth. It’s like a burp but it’s words instead.

In the meantime, since I don’t have kids, you can have my share. 😄
 
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