A
anilorak13ska
Guest
I have a couple of questions regarding modesty. It seems that various groups, cultures, and religions have their own definition of what clothing constitutes modest apparel, and I’m quite confused. I want to make some adjustments to my wardrobe to be more modest, but I am at a danger of falling into a very flabby, androgenous look without proper guidance.
If I were starting from scratch, I might not have such a hard time with this - I’d just err on the side of caution and go with the more modest alternatives. But I can’t afford a brand new wardrobe, and I’m only going to be buying a few key pieces to complement (layer, etc) what I already have, which is why I need to know for instance, if my sleeveless tanks will ever see the light of day again
Even on some Catholic sites, I’ve seen that we as women should dress “Mary-like”, which honestly from their descriptions sounds very reminiscent of Little House on the Prairie. I don’t want my modesty to be the cause of standing out. I just want to blend in, but with my dignity as a lady in tact.
I can’t use the “grandmother” test, ie. see how my grandmother would feel if I showed up wearing X, bc she is quite the liberal when it comes to what’s appropriate for ladies to wear. The sexier, the better, frankly, so I don’t have a very clear frame of reference there.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and offer your suggestions!
- Should there be a different standard for what’s appropriate for church and what’s appropriate outside of church? Or is something is not modest enough for church, should it be avoided elsewhere in public as well?
- How tight is too tight for clothing in the torso region? I know not skin-tight, but is it reasonable to assume that if a woman has curves, they will inevitably show through the clothing? Or should every effort be made to minimize this, as is common in Muslim circles?
- Is it modest to have uncovered arms? Ie. are sleeveless tops ever appropriate? What about the back?
- I know not to show cleavage, but where is the cut-off? If I look down and see a hint of a shadow between the girls, is that showing too much?
- Swimwear - is a one-piece with regular-cut holes for the legs appropriate? Does it need to have ruffles or be cut more like shorts at the bottom? What about the top? I’m not a big fan of the wet t-shirt look.
- How much attention is too much attention paid to my hair? What constitutes a modest hairstyle? I have long, straight, fine hair, no bangs (cowlick). I usually wear it in a bun or a high ponytail, but honestly, this makes me feel a bit frumpy. I don’t want to distract, and I certainly don’t want to spend more time than absolutely necessary on my hair (ie - I don’t do hairspray), but I would like my hair to look modest-yet-still-nice.
- Are any height heels ever appropriate? I’m trying to find a pair of comfortable flats that go with skirts, mainly for comfort reasons, but does this mean that my open-toed 2inch heels and boots are out of the question?
If I were starting from scratch, I might not have such a hard time with this - I’d just err on the side of caution and go with the more modest alternatives. But I can’t afford a brand new wardrobe, and I’m only going to be buying a few key pieces to complement (layer, etc) what I already have, which is why I need to know for instance, if my sleeveless tanks will ever see the light of day again
Even on some Catholic sites, I’ve seen that we as women should dress “Mary-like”, which honestly from their descriptions sounds very reminiscent of Little House on the Prairie. I don’t want my modesty to be the cause of standing out. I just want to blend in, but with my dignity as a lady in tact.
I can’t use the “grandmother” test, ie. see how my grandmother would feel if I showed up wearing X, bc she is quite the liberal when it comes to what’s appropriate for ladies to wear. The sexier, the better, frankly, so I don’t have a very clear frame of reference there.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and offer your suggestions!