What did you spend on your or your daughter's wedding?

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WHEN OUR OLDEST SON MARRIED IN 2000 …

MY DH & I PD FOR 99% OF EVERYTHING; WEDDING, RECEPTION, ITEMS THEY NEEDED TO START MARRIED LIFE WITH. WE SPENT $2,000 TOTAL FOR EVERYTHING:

BECAUSE THE WEDDING WAS ‘MOVED UP’ SIX MONTHS & WE HAD THREE WEEKS TO GET EVERYTHING READY, WE WERN’T ABLE TO MAKE HER GOWN. FORTUNATELY WE WERE ABLE TO RETURN THE FABRIC, BEADS, NETTING, ETC.

WE KEPT THE FABRIC FOR THE MAID OF HONOR / BRIDESMAIDS GOWNS. ONE OF MY H.S. FRIENDS {LIVES NEAR US} & I MADE THOSE. SOME OF MY FRIENDS HELPED US CUT OUT THE FABRICS. THE DRESS MAKING WAS MY FRIEND’S /HER HUBBY’S GIFT TO THE KIDS. SHE SPENT MORE HOURS ON THOSE THAN I DID!! WE WORKED ON THEM AFTER WE FINISHED WORK & ON WEEKENDS.

MY OTHER CO-WORKER FRIEND & I MADE/ DECORATED ALL THE CAKES; ONE 3-TIER & 10 SMALL HEART- SHAPED ONES OF VARIOUS ‘FLAVORS’ [400 GUESTS INVITED … MOSTLY FAMILY!]. MY DH & I BOUGHT ALL THE ITEMS TO MAKE THEM. WITH THIS TOO, TIME AFTER WORK & ON WEEKENDS WAS SPENT TO GET THESE PREPARED. HER DOING THIS WAS HER/HER HUSBAND’S GIFT TO THE KIDS.

I TOOK OUR D-I-L TO GET HER GOWN; WE WERE ABLE TO FIND ONE WITH A 12-FT LONG BEADED TRAIN LIKE THE ORIGINAL ONE WAS GOING TO HAVE; GOT IT FOR $180. GOT HER VEIL AT ANOTHER PLACE THAT MATCHED IT PRETTY GOOD FOR $25. THE SHOES WERE $40 BUT, OH WELL … THEY MATCHED THE GOWN & VEIL WITH ALL THE BEADS ON THEM TOO.

WE HAD OUR SON’S TUX, MY DH’S TUX, & OUR OTHER SON’S TUXES TO PAY RENT ON $75 EACH]. MY MOTHER- OF-THE-GROOM DRESS WAS KNEE-LENGTH [FOR DAY WEDDING] WITH A MATCHING JACKET & WAS BEAUTIFULLY EMBROIDERED ON THE FRONT OF IT FOR $35 AT THE OUTLET MALL. I HAD WORN IT ON A FEW MORE OCCASIONS AFTER THAT. I STILL HAVE IT ;JUST HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT TO FIT BACK IN TO IT! BUT IT IS TOO GORGEOUS TO GIVE AWAY! [ONE DAY … :whistle: ]

WE BOUGHT ALL THE TABLE WEAR / PAPER TABLE COVERINGS / RECEPTION DECORATIONS / ETC. AT A DISCOUNT STORE. FOR THE CENTERPIECES, WE GOT ITEMS THAT WERE ON SALE AT THE ‘MICHAELS CRAFTS’ STORE & HER FAMILY MADE THOSE.

VARIOUS MEMBERS OF HER CLOSE FAMILY DONATED ALL THE FOOD. WE ALSO DONATED A HUGE TURKEY FOR IT THAT WE HAD IN OUR FREEZER. THEY COOKED ALL THE FOOD/SERVED IT. I HELPED SERVE THE CAKE.

WE PAID $350 FOR THE FIRE HALL & DECORATED/ CLEANED IT UP AFTER THE RECEPTION OURSELVES.

WE PAID FOR THE USE OF THE CHURCH THEY WERE MARRIED IN, THE PASTOR’S FEE, & THE ORGANIST’S FEE [HE SANG AS WELL].

THE WEDDING INVITATIONS/ THANK YOU CARDS / RSVP’s WERE IN A KIT FROM STAPLES; WE DID THOSE OURSELVES ON THE COMPUTER. BECAUSE THERE WERE 400 FAMILY … MY MOM HAD 10 SIBLINGS - WHO HAD A NUMBER OF CHILDREN - LOL … / FRIENDS SO THIS EXPENSE WAS LARGE DUE TO ALL THE STAMPS WE HAD TO USE.

WE BOUGHT A NEW BED WITH MATTRESS FOR THEM, A USED CRIB , & USED DRESSERS FOR BOTH THEM / THE COMING BABY.

MY DH’s B-I-L & SISTER TOOK THE PICTURES [AS THEY DID FOR OUR WEDDING!] AND THEIR SON DID THE VIDEO. THESE WERE THEIR WEDDING GIFTS TO THE KIDS IN LIEU OF A WEDDING GIFT ITEM.

THE DJ THE KIDS FOUND. HE WAS $300.

THEY LIVED WITH US RENT/ETC.FREE FOR ALMOST 5 MONTHS AFTER THEY MARRIED. OUR D-I-L,@ 19 YRS OLD, HAD 3 1/2 MONTHS BEFORE GRADUATING H.S., & HAD ALREADY HAD A P/T JOB AFTER SCHOOL FOR A YEAR BEFORE THEIR MARRIAGE. OUR SON JUST HAD RECEIVED HIS A.S. DEGREE DEC. '99 - AND WORKED F/T AT A WALMART AFTER SCHOOL HOURS - AND WAS ABLE TO FIND IMMEDIATELY A [LOW- PAYING] JOB THAT REQUIRED THAT TYPE OF DEGREE.

NOT LONG AFTER THE WEDDING, OUR SON & D-I-L PAID US BACK $700 [FOR THE BED & DJ] 'CAUSE, THEY SAID WE DID SO MUCH FOR THEM / WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR THEM 100+ % OF THE WAY TO HELP SUPPORT THEM THROUGH THAT TIME.

DID I FORGET ANYTHING?? LOL

THE WEDDING WAS FABULOUS, THE KIDS LOOKED FANTASTIC, & A GREAT TIME WAS HAD BY ALL!

THEIR 8th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY IS IN 4 1/2 MONTHS … 2 WEEKS AFTER OUR 32nd ANNIVERSARY.

IT’S LIKE DEJAVU …

THEY MET & BEGAN TO DATE WHEN OUR D-I-L WAS IN 8TH GRADE & OUR SON WAS IN 10TH GRADE. THEY BROKE UP ONLY ONCE IN ALL THE TIME THEY’VE BEEN TOGETHER AS A COUPLE … & ONLY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS … WHEN OUR D-I-L WAS IN ABOUT 11th GRADE. THEY NOW HAVE A 12 YEAR HISTORY TOGETHER AT AGES 26 1/2 & SOON-TO-BE 28 YRS OLD.

THE DEJAVU PART? …

I CHASED MY DH WHEN I WAS IN 8TH GRADE AND HE WAS IN 10TH GRADE … ‘CAUGHT’ HIM WHEN I WAS 15 THROUGH 16 1/2 YRS OLD, THEN HE WENT OFF TO COLLEGE AND BROKE IT OFF. BUT WHEN I WAS 17 1/2 WE WERE BACK DATING AGAIN. THEN I WENT OFF TO SCHOOL AND WE WERE ON AGAIN/OFF AGAIN FOR VERY SHORT PERIODS OF TIME ABOUT FOUR TIMES, THEN WE MARRIED WHEN I WAS 19 3/4 AND HE WAS 21 1/4 YRS OLD. [BUT … I SLEPT IN HIS BABY BASSINET WHEN MY PARENTS BROUGHT ME HOME!😃 ]

THEIR FIRST CHILD WAS A GIRL; SO WAS OURS. THEIR SECOND CHILD THEY LOST IN A MISCARRIAGE. BUT THEIR THIRD CHILD WAS A BOY; OUR SECOND CHILD WAS THIS SON. [THEIR 3rd BABY WAS A GIRL; OURS A BOY.]
 
I’ve taken the modern route of paying for it myself. I think my parents have done so much for me already that they should be honored guests, not paying hosts. I would feel bad! lol

The breakdown so far:

1600 church
500 choir/organ/cantor
3000 catering for 300ppl. (our rental site only allows “approved caterers” and we had to use their service, linens, equipment, etc. blah)
2500 museum rental
200 wedding dress
300 dj
500 invitations (including shower and thankyous)
500 bridesmaid dresses, flowergirl dresses, ringbearer tux, all bridal party accessories…shoes, jewelry, veil, jackets, etc.

My aunt is a professional photographer so she is doing that, Df’s grandma is a prof cake maker so she is doing that, my friend has her own wedding decorating business so she is taking care of all the pews, the altar, centerpieces, tables and chairs, lighting and flowers. They are all offering to do these things for free as a wedding gift.

Our honeymoon is a 3 day 2 night in the bahamas free (we sat through a timeshare) and then we have 8 days 7 nights in the states free because we went with a specific tux rental agency. We’ll probably do California or Florida.
 
Your mother should be so proud of you!!! You are a fabulous tightwad!!! Brava, haskilee, brava!!!
 
I’ve thought about doing that once I get to my goal weight. I got pregnant right after our wedding and immediately put on a lot of weight. So, our wedding day was the last time I was that skinny.

Maybe if I get to my goal by our anniversary (Nov 23) I’ll surprise DH when he gets home. 😃
That is a great idea! And I’m in your shoes…but first anniversary has gone and passed, so maybe another special day…🙂
 
Your mother should be so proud of you!!! You are a fabulous tightwad!!! Brava, haskilee, brava!!!
The main problem is we went with the city museum for out reception site. They won’t let any alcohol on premises unless it’s through the caterers. That would take our reception cost to $8000. :eek:

I haven’t figured that part out yet!

And praise God for ebay!
 
We didn’t spend much, I think DH and I spent about $500 and my parents paid for the rest wich would sum up to a max of $2000 but I think that a bit too much for the kind of wedding we had. We did the invitations electronically and I called everyone to make sure they were coming. Most of my family (extended family) pitched in. They were all wonderful and even though I never got the wedding I wanted (a Church wedding) I am married thru the CC. Maybe later on we will have a renewal of our vows and make that our official Church wedding. I always wanted to walk down the isle…
 
The main problem is we went with the city museum for out reception site. They won’t let any alcohol on premises unless it’s through the caterers. That would take our reception cost to $8000. :eek:

I haven’t figured that part out yet!

And praise God for ebay!
OK this sounds really horrible. I have yet to be at a wedding where it was dry or a cash bar that was at all enjoyable. Although I’d prefer a dry wedding to a cash bar, at least then I know I’m not the only one miserable. You don’t have to go all out with the alcohol, you can keep it to a few selections.

Another tip, don’t have a cash bar if a lot of people are travelling for the wedding. The last one I went to, my fiance was a groomsman. It was a 430 pm wedding on a Friday in ME on Labor Day weekend. I had to take the day off, travel to ME, rent a hotel room, buy a dress. I was also not able to sit at the same table as my fiance, and had to sit with a whole group of people I didn’t know… They had a cash bar. So on top of the 75 bucks for a dress, 50 dollars in gas, 150 for the hotel room, 150 dollars for the gift, I also had to spend 6 bucks for a glass of wine. I should have done what some of the groomsman did and get flasks (which I was in charge of) If you know that people are already REALLY shelling out for you wedding, provide them with some free booze.

At my wedding 5 hrs open bar comes with the package, and it was just about the only thing I told my parents I was willing to fight for other than my dress the dj and what my girls wear. I don’t give a rat’s patoot about the readings, or the music at the church, I don’t care about the flowers, I don’t care about the food, I don’t want a videographer (cause is there anything MORE boring than a wedding video. it doesn’t even have the gross out factor of a birth). I want my guests to have a good time, and if having some liquor makes them feel more comfortable, than I am all for it.

That said, my wedding is shaping up to be far more than I wanted. The reception site alone is 85 a head, and we have an invite list of over 250 people. Hey we’re Irish and Portuguese we have big families. In total we’re spending about 20-25 thousand dollars, though I am doing my best to keep the figure down, but unless a pandemic flu breaks out it doesn’t seem likely.
 
:extrahappy: This thread has made me so excited, because in my junior year of High School we had a project where we had to plan out and budget a wedding for 100 people for under $10K. I was able to do it for around $7K. So it’s nice to know it can be done well for “cheap” (the majority of the bill will be spent on her:p)

I can’t tell you how many people have made fun of me because I am currently saving a lot of my income over the past few years to help pay for things like wedding, engagement, and other life expenses. This make me feel really good. 🙂
 
:extrahappy: This thread has made me so excited, because in my junior year of High School we had a project where we had to plan out and budget a wedding for 100 people for under $10K. I was able to do it for around $7K. So it’s nice to know it can be done well for “cheap” (the majority of the bill will be spent on her:p)

I can’t tell you how many people have made fun of me because I am currently saving a lot of my income over the past few years to help pay for things like wedding, engagement, and other life expenses. This make me feel really good. 🙂
Good job!!! You won’t regret it.

I told my older two, and I am telling my younger two much louder and much more often, “High school, training or college, job, money in the bank, place to live, way to get around, HUSBAND- then a baby (and what makes them- they are only 6 and 8 and don’t much about that yet).”

I think I will join manualman in the permit line at the county Forest Preserve office on January 1- for a reception picnic in 2021.😉
 
At my wedding 5 hrs open bar comes with the package, and it was just about the only thing I told my parents I was willing to fight for other than my dress the dj and what my girls wear.*** I don’t give a rat’s patoot about the readings, or the music at the church,***

I want my guests to have a good time, and if having some liquor makes them feel more comfortable, than I am all for it.

.
I am soooo so so sorry to hear this…you care more about the dress, dj, bridesmaids dresses and booze rather than the readings and music at your own wedding? how sad…

The wedding day is about the actual wedding you know? everything else is secondary.
 
I am soooo so so sorry to hear this…you care more about the dress, dj, bridesmaids dresses and booze rather than the readings and music at your own wedding? how sad…

The wedding day is about the actual wedding you know? everything else is secondary.
I didn’t mean it that way. I meant I don’t care about having a ton of (name removed by moderator)ut on the ceremony. I don’t care. The traditional stuff is fine with me. It’s worked for tens of thousands of people in the past and it’s going to be fine for us. I don’t feel like I need to spend 10 hours with the priest going over not only the readings but the tone of voice, or giving approval to his homily. I just don’t care about that that much. I’m more than willing to bow to tradition in that case.

I do understand that the wedding day is about the actual wedding, but as I am an only child and my parents are pretty old school, they have hijacked a lot of this wedding as for what THEY want, not what I want or what my fiance wants. And I’m MORE than willing to let them do most of it. I just don’t want my poor friends to have to wear ugly dresses or my guests to be forced into listening solely to Chopin, Mozart and Bethoven for the reception (because that’s all my parents listen to). My mom is fired up over planning the actual wedding, and it’s just easier to let her do it, because a) it means I don’t have to , and b) I’ve learned over the past 27 years that with anybody, but mostly parents and spouses, and bosses ,is pick your battles. Fight for something that really important to you.

Plus, it’s just a wedding, it’s just a day, it’s just a big party after church, and it’s not that important. Frankly, I don’t even think the actual music is that important at the Church either, but we don’t go to a church with a lot of singing, so that’s another reason I don’t care about the music at the mass, there probably won’t be that much.
 
Both CAT and RW have brought up “outdoor weddings”. Was there any added expense or difficulty in getting the Bishop’s dispensation for these?
Working with the teens, the outdoor Catholic wedding question came up in discussing Catholic Marriage - bumping my own question to get someone with real experinece to answer.
 
OK this sounds really horrible. I have yet to be at a wedding where it was dry or a cash bar that was at all enjoyable. Although I’d prefer a dry wedding to a cash bar, at least then I know I’m not the only one miserable. You don’t have to go all out with the alcohol, you can keep it to a few selections.

Another tip, don’t have a cash bar if a lot of people are travelling for the wedding. The last one I went to, my fiance was a groomsman. It was a 430 pm wedding on a Friday in ME on Labor Day weekend. I had to take the day off, travel to ME, rent a hotel room, buy a dress. I was also not able to sit at the same table as my fiance, and had to sit with a whole group of people I didn’t know… They had a cash bar. So on top of the 75 bucks for a dress, 50 dollars in gas, 150 for the hotel room, 150 dollars for the gift, I also had to spend 6 bucks for a glass of wine. I should have done what some of the groomsman did and get flasks (which I was in charge of) If you know that people are already REALLY shelling out for you wedding, provide them with some free booze.
I’ve heard this already from many people, but Im sorry, my guests do not mean enough to me to shell out $5000 so they can get drunk. (Not saying that’s what you’re endorsing…I have a bunch of young friends who will get toasted and all but like 5 people in his family are alcoholics).

It’s going to be a huge, child friendly event…and a dry one.

.

Except for champagne.

And for the record let me say that I totally agree with your points. I just can’t align them with the purpose of my reception. 👍
 
I’ve heard this already from many people, but Im sorry, my guests do not mean enough to me to shell out $5000 so they can get drunk. (Not saying that’s what you’re endorsing…I have a bunch of young friends who will get toasted and all but like 5 people in his family are alcoholics).

It’s going to be a huge, child friendly event…and a dry one.

.

Except for champagne.

And for the record let me say that I totally agree with your points. I just can’t align them with the purpose of my reception. 👍
Hey thats why I said I’d prefer a dry wedding to a cash bar!

At that wedding I was referring to, well, it was a BAAAAAAAAAAD wedding. The asked you to buy your own champagne toast, and all of your beverages for the evening excluding water, so I started off buying my sodas, until it was 1130 and the bride still hadn’t made her way over to say hello and thank you (there was no receiving line) At that point I ended up moseying over to the groomsmen and gave my fiance the evil eye to pony up for a glass of wine for me. By the way I left at 1245 and the bride still hadn’t come over to say thanks.

Sigh… ettiquette it’s such a wonderful thing.
 
Hey thats why I said I’d prefer a dry wedding to a cash bar!

At that wedding I was referring to, well, it was a BAAAAAAAAAAD wedding. The asked you to buy your own champagne toast, and all of your beverages for the evening excluding water, so I started off buying my sodas, until it was 1130 and the bride still hadn’t made her way over to say hello and thank you (there was no receiving line) At that point I ended up moseying over to the groomsmen and gave my fiance the evil eye to pony up for a glass of wine for me. By the way I left at 1245 and the bride still hadn’t come over to say thanks.

Sigh… ettiquette it’s such a wonderful thing.
That sounds like a terrible experience!
 
Which is why I’m really trying to plan a tradional ceremony. I don’t want or need anything crazy at the church. I’m content with everything being standard and run of the mill, but beautiful. And having a totally fun reception, even though I won’t likely be enjoying to much of it since I’ll be “working the room” saying thank you to everyone.

We’ve gotten a bunch of enagement gifts already (we’ve been engaged about 2 months) and as soon as a gift comes in, I open it, see who it’s from, what it is, and then write a thank you card and mail it the next day.

I don’t see anything wrong with throwing a big wedding, so long as you can afford it. I’m not planning on blowing the bank with anything. I’ve actually been told by all the vendors I’ve met with that I’m a couple of grand under what normal estimates are. We’re spending less than 3 grand for flowers (church,aisle runner bridesmaids, my bouquet [my florist gives a free toss bouquet because he doesn’t believe any bride should have to lose hers] centerpieces, boutienierres, corsages, place card table plus candles for all the tables and cocktail hour centerpieces and set up and delivery charges).

The dress I’m in love with was on the sale rack for 400 bucks. I don’t need shoes, as I own about as many as Imelda Marcos.

Hair and makeup and nails will be about 150

Bridesmaid dresses( about 175, but can totally be worn again, since they don’t scream bridesmaid). Don’t care about their shoes, and their hair will be about 60

Reception is 85 a head, so however many people rsvp,

Dj is 995 for 7 hours

Photographer is 1700 for 800-1000 shots prints album. parents album, and cd with exclusive rights to the photos

Cake is going to be a fake cake except the top tier and we’ll just use sheet cakes so we;ll be saving a TON of money there.

I want my wedding to be elegent, traditional, but fun and with some personal touches.
 
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