What do I do about a thieving grandmother?

[Brightcrown]

My mother-in-law, who is 80, was nominated to be godparent to my 10-year-old daughter and she traveled to visit us for two months. While living with us, she displayed strange tendencies in behavior. It looks like passive-aggressive behavior and she switches on and off—one moment sweet, and the next totally out of character. It could be dementia.

The real problem is she goes around stealing anything that catches her fancy, including my children’s rosaries. She has fought with the kids over their books, Bibles too, saying that they are hers and she warns them sternly. She also stole a few hundred dollars from the handbag of her younger sister with whom she was visiting for a few days. There is no remorse when she is confronted. My kids would tell her “thou shall not steal” when caught in the act and she would just grunt and walk off. She continues in her passive-aggressive behavior.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Actually, the real problem is the possible dementia. It could well be the root cause of her belief that the items she is taking are hers, especially if this behavior is new and out of character. I recommend that you and your husband take the steps necessary to see to it that she is evaluated by a doctor.

I also recommend that you explain to your children two things: One, their grandmother is ill, and that is why she is claiming that their belongings are hers. Two, under these circumstances, their grandmother is not a thief and it is not their place to correct her or humiliate her. Rather than allow them to tussle with their grandmother over belongings, they should bring their complaints to you and allow you to retrieve the items in such a way that your mother-in-law is not humiliated.